NationStates Jolt Archive


Pancakes and Flamethrowers! The Resi Corporation adds two new items to their store!

The Resi Corporation
04-04-2005, 03:00
CNN Headline News

Rich Douglas had just concluded his astounding speach on how the Jain Monkies had beaten their rivals, the Unus Devils, with a surprise home-run from their rookie Jake Ellingway at the bottom of the ninth. Rich, being a liquored-up Monkies fan, was livid with excitement and managed to shout several explitives about the manager of the Devils, the manager's mother, and possibly ficticious relations between the two before being carried off by two CNN staffers. The camera pulled a quick cut back to Alexis Wrently, the attractive blonde anchorwoman that was the face of Resian CNN in hopes of forcing the audience to forget the drunken obscenities with a healthy dose of sex appeal.

"In... *ahem* other news..." Alexis said to the camera, stifling a chuckle, "The Resi Corporation has released two new products on its storefront today. The first is the "Hades" Plasma Flamethrower (http://members.cox.net/resicorp/hpf.htm), which I am told uses superheated hydrogen plasma to burn holes through armor, melt human flesh, and do all kinds of pleasant things. Here's a clip of the CEO of the Resi Corporation, Johnathan Tetragammaton, using one in a demonstration to shareholders earlier today."

The camera cuts to a scene of Tetragammaton hoisting the massive gun and pointing it at a non-descript brown robot, obviously not of Resian make. The robot apparently had a logo of some other company on its shoulder, as a large blur mark appeared over it on the camera. In an instant, the entire scene went dark except for a blinding white spot that took up half the camera. When the blackness died down, all that was left were two blubbling and smoldering stumps of metal where the robot's legs once were.

The camera once again cuts back to the studio.
"As for the second item, CEO Tetragammaton was very elusive as to what it was, but he stressed several points. From what we know, it is called 'Pancakes' (http://members.cox.net/resicorp/pancakes.htm) and it is a weapon of mass destruction. The CEO was very insistant on the point that the 'Pancakes' were not of Resian make, but were manufactured by a supposedly nameless entity that payed to have their product marketed on the Resian storefront.
"Once again, I'm Alexis Wrently. Thanks for watching CNN. Next up is the story of how this kitten saved a boy from a wheat thresher. Stay tuned."
Clip of kitten rolls, then blacks out as theme music plays.

((OOC: The storefront can be found here (http://members.cox.net/resicorp/), and orders can be placed on this thread.))
The Macabees
04-04-2005, 03:02
Do you do your own CG?
Roach-Busters
04-04-2005, 03:04
Future Tech, correct?
The Resi Corporation
04-04-2005, 03:05
Do you do your own CG?
I wish. I do a TON of Photoshopping (the 'Pancakes' image is just something I crapped out, obviously), but I'm only a beginner at CG.

If you want to see stuff I've actually CGed, look at any of the R-Bots.
The Resi Corporation
04-04-2005, 03:05
Future Tech, correct?
That little fox guy in the upper right has a sign that says what tech level each one is. My main page explains it.

The flamethrower is FT, but the Pancakes are only PMT.
The Macabees
04-04-2005, 03:11
Yea, I just started CG too...the only thing I've CGd so far is my Praetorian, and that isn't too good..I'm hoping to get better though.
The Resi Corporation
04-04-2005, 03:15
Yea, I just started CG too...the only thing I've CGd so far is my Praetorian, and that isn't too good..I'm hoping to get better though.
I've made some stuff better than my R-Bots in Maya PLE (like a sweet bipedial mecha), but I'll be damned if I host it on my site with that "NOT FOR COMMERCIAL USE!" crap that AliasWavefront puts all over it.
Roach-Busters
04-04-2005, 03:16
I'll purchase 5,000,000 Gauss Rifles ($5,000,000,000), 1,000 Metal Slug mk II tanks ($10,000,000,000), 100,000 Rave Motorcycles ($500,000,000,000), 10,000 R-150s ($250,000,000,000), 1,000,000 Tripods ($100,000,000,000), and 1 XG Delux ($600,000). The total cost is $860,000,600,000. Money will be wired upon confirmation. Thanks!
The Resi Corporation
04-04-2005, 03:21
I'll purchase 5,000,000 Gauss Rifles ($5,000,000,000), 1,000 Metal Slug mk II tanks ($10,000,000,000), 100,000 Rave Motorcycles ($500,000,000,000), 10,000 R-150s ($250,000,000,000), 1,000,000 Tripods ($100,000,000,000), and 1 XG Delux ($600,000). The total cost is $860,000,600,000. Money will be wired upon confirmation. Thanks!
To the Esteemed Potenate of Roach-Busters:

Order confirmed. The R-150s should be complete within a year, and the Raves within two. Everything else we have onhand and is being shipped as we compose this letter.

Thank you, we very much appreciate your business.
[signed]
Isacc Narasagi, President of Sales
The Resi Corporation
Roach-Busters
04-04-2005, 03:22
To the Esteemed Potenate of Roach-Busters:

Order confirmed. The R-150s should be complete within a year, and the Raves within two. Everything else we have onhand and is being shipped as we compose this letter.

Thank you, we very much appreciate your business.
[signed]
Isacc Narasagi, President of Sales
The Resi Corporation

Thanks a lot!

-Generalissimo J.L.
The Resi Corporation
04-04-2005, 19:00
One final bump before moving on...