NationStates Jolt Archive

A 747 touched down on the Camel Eaters airport tarmac. Within, the Shah of Parthia waited as the plane taxied to a stop near a crowd of people and a massive stariway was brought to the top. The doors opened, to reveal four Immortals in black and gold uniforms walk down in a single file line. Two were carrying flags of Parthia while the others had their M-27s. Then, as the Parthian national anthem played (http://www.rezapahlavi.org/father/anthem.ram) the Shah appeared, dressed in a cloak of black velvet topped with over 20 pounds of gold, wearing a gold belt with a massive emerald on the buckle and a field marshall's uniform. On his head, he wore the small travelling crown of Parthia while he descended the steps giving off a ray of light in an aura.

OOC: The Shah

http://www.shafaati.com/links/persien/history/9/mohammad.jpg

King Hannon blinked a few dozen times in raped succesion as did the Woads standing completely naked next to him. After some more Olympic style blinking the King shielded his eyes and stepped forward.

"Damn that is one rich bastard. Mannys down to the sides!" The Woads rushed to both sides of the plane and began checking for any sort of harmful thing. Collies swarmed the place ready to kill anyone who tried to harm either the King or Shah.

Linfield took a step forward his upper body bare and marked with many hundreds of blue dye tattoos. He offered a firm arm shake to the Shah and spread his arms wider like he was about to hug him. Then did so.

Welcome Shah Khosru! This is Camel Eaters. For the next few days or weeks you will be spending your time in my great nation. I and my people welcome you with open arms and ask one thing. Do you like sushi? Cause I know a great place down the block if ye'd like to go now or later? Oh look at me chattering away like some tig fer. Anyways we'll be moving your stuff to the castle for the duration.

He grinned and turned to his men speaking in a strange mix of Irish and Aramaic he motioned to some things. Among them the sky, Shah Khosru, and his feet. The men nodded and went to get a car.

King Hannon blinked a few dozen times in raped succesion as did the Woads standing completely naked next to him. After some more Olympic style blinking the King shielded his eyes and stepped forward.

"Damn that is one rich bastard. Mannys down to the sides!" The Woads rushed to both sides of the plane and began checking for any sort of harmful thing. Collies swarmed the place ready to kill anyone who tried to harm either the King or Shah.

Linfield took a step forward his upper body bare and marked with many hundreds of blue dye tattoos. He offered a firm arm shake to the Shah and spread his arms wider like he was about to hug him. Then did so.

Welcome Shah Khosru! This is Camel Eaters. For the next few days or weeks you will be spending your time in my great nation. I and my people welcome you with open arms and ask one thing. Do you like sushi? Cause I know a great place down the block if ye'd like to go now or later? Oh look at me chattering away like some tig fer. Anyways we'll be moving your stuff to the castle for the duration.

He grinned and turned to his men speaking in a strange mix of Irish and Aramaic he motioned to some things. Among them the sky, Shah Khosru, and his feet. The men nodded and went to get a car.

The Shah looked uneasy. Embracing was rather rare in Parthia, and really, he only expected people to do that when drunk. He in return spoke to the king after a polite bow, "Greetings my friend, I am honored to be in your presence. I am indeed a lover of sushi, but, I cannot help but notice the fact your nation is rather uhmmm, nevermind, its sort of a culture shock." The Shah's servants in black clothing trimmed in gold walked over carrying objects in a shroud. One lifted his shroud, revealing a sword in a sheath covered in turquoise and rubies with a handle of ivory and a small dagger with similar construction. Another lifted his shroud, showing twelve ruby rings each with a gem the size of a pea. And finally, three silk Persian carpets were unrolled in the presence of the king as the Shah spoke, "I heard you like simplicity, so I brought a few simple gifts. Please enjoy my friend."

Only then did Linfield realize that the Shah was uneasy. He thought for a moment and remembered some things he had learned about Parthia just for this. He smirked and bowed to the Shah accepting each gift. He clicked a few times and gestured towards the rugs. Four black men, sweating profusely, came over clicked back to Linfield and then hefted the three rugs between them and set off towards a storage bay.

So my friend I hear that the Persians are responsible for some truly frightening execution methods. Let me hear of these if you will. Or not. Why there is a sacrifice to Crom going on this afternoon. The newly powerful Gahaza Clan is planning on giving a warrior up to him and my advisers all say I should attend. After all they are controlling the new Jamaican eastern board. Would you like to attend? I get to smash his skull in.

Linfield of course said all this nonchalantly as if it were the most natural thing in the world. To him it was.

Only then did Linfield realize that the Shah was uneasy. He thought for a moment and remembered some things he had learned about Parthia just for this. He smirked and bowed to the Shah accepting each gift. He clicked a few times and gestured towards the rugs. Four black men, sweating profusely, came over clicked back to Linfield and then hefted the three rugs between them and set off towards a storage bay.

So my friend I hear that the Persians are responsible for some truly frightening execution methods. Let me hear of these if you will. Or not. Why there is a sacrifice to Crom going on this afternoon. The newly powerful Gahaza Clan is planning on giving a warrior up to him and my advisers all say I should attend. After all they are controlling the new Jamaican eastern board. Would you like to attend? I get to smash his skull in.

Linfield of course said all this nonchalantly as if it were the most natural thing in the world. To him it was.


"Sickening executions, Oh no, JUST executions! Though we did invent quite a few, hanging is one, crucifixion too, and another one is called scaphism, which is so brutal it might sicken you. It has never been used since 1593 in Parthia, but we are considering using it on General Eastmoreland of Roach Busters." Suddenly, the Shah turned paler as he realized what King Hannon said, "Human sacrifice? Your kidding me, I thought no one did that."

Well many nations still do. We're not the only ones ye know. Many others all over the place. Come now let's go to the castle you'll be staying in for your duration here.

He showed the Shah to a large car and opened the door for him. Once getting in Linfield nodded to the driver who took off at extreme speeds across the few roads existing in Camel Eaters. The car swerved and went quickly past a lane full of trucks that were hauling chickens. Faster still the went finally stopping suddenly at a long row of stables, castles, and small bunkers.

Linfield exited the car and stretched saying to the Shah. Welcome to Ambassador Hides subdivision.

Well many nations still do. We're not the only ones ye know. Many others all over the place. Come now let's go to the castle you'll be staying in for your duration here.

He showed the Shah to a large car and opened the door for him. Once getting in Linfield nodded to the driver who took off at extreme speeds across the few roads existing in Camel Eaters. The car swerved and went quickly past a lane full of trucks that were hauling chickens. Faster still the went finally stopping suddenly at a long row of stables, castles, and small bunkers.

Linfield exited the car and stretched saying to the Shah. Welcome to Ambassador Hides subdivision.

"Excellent, say, have you noticed how few roads you have? Or advertising? In Parthia, central city is usually a Times Square with the ads in Farsi."

We have few roads on purpose. That way we can avoid being sucked in by foreign oil. As for advertising the further one goes into the cities. The more advertising one will see. In all manner of languages. Hehe. Well I'll have to take you into the inner parts of the cities sometimes.

We have few roads on purpose. That way we can avoid being sucked in by foreign oil. As for advertising the further one goes into the cities. The more advertising one will see. In all manner of languages. Hehe. Well I'll have to take you into the inner parts of the cities sometimes.
"Why not buy Parthian oil?"

Umm. We try not to be sucked into any oil. Ever. All oil we have is drilled in Camel Eaters. We very rarely go outside the country for anything at all. It is our way.

Linfield looked nervous telling a visiting ruler that their nation's oil was just overpriced and inefficient.

Umm. We try not to be sucked into any oil. Ever. All oil we have is drilled in Camel Eaters. We very rarely go outside the country for anything at all. It is our way.

Linfield looked nervous telling a visiting ruler that their nation's oil was just overpriced and inefficient.

"I see, but do your people want a few SUVs?"

Linfield looked at the Shah with a sense of bewilderment on his face.

Sir, we banned SUVs for a reason. Evil monstrosities that just pump filth into our precious air. Anyways we've been here for about twenty minutes discussing this. If you'd care to retire to a more comfortable abode then we may get down to ecopolitics

Linfield rubbed his hands madly. Like all Camel Eaters he absolutely loved a good heated debate.

Linfield looked at the Shah with a sense of bewilderment on his face.

Sir, we banned SUVs for a reason. Evil monstrosities that just pump filth into our precious air. Anyways we've been here for about twenty minutes discussing this. If you'd care to retire to a more comfortable abode then we may get down to ecopolitics

Linfield rubbed his hands madly. Like all Camel Eaters he absolutely loved a good heated debate.


"YOU BANNED SUVs? How could you?" Asked the Shah histerically. "Yes, lets retire to a comfterable setting."

Well ye see we like our enviroment. And our people. And we just don't like SUVs.......

He was interrupted by an aide who ran up and spoke in his ear for a moment. Linfield smiled and nodded to the aide.

We have entertainment prepared for you and myself.

He led the way into the humble castle with its ventilation and arrow slits all over for decorative effects of course. He passed young bards practicing and dancing. Clapping his hands enthusiastically he joined in for a moment...

They threw a rope around your neck and watched you do the jig of death.....

He set off once more and lead the Shah into an extremely high-tech room in the middle of the castle. Video feeds were streaming in from all over the globe. Linfield smirked and sat down in front of one screen. It showed several hundred disgruntled men with axes and human skulls buckled to their belts. Guns in hand they were moving rapidly through the forests of some far-off place. Linfield grabbed a camera stick and zoomed in.

Shah Khosru those are the Sawney Beane Clan. They are cannibals and incesters. They are also the best clan to watch on military excursions. I made a bet with the Great Leader Li of MassPwange that some of my Sawneys could kill his Lizardmen Irregulars. What you're seeing is a live video feed of the Sawneys in the underbrush.

He turned back and watched intently as they moved their hands to their belts. Drawing axes as a young boy at the end of the line lead the horses along a few dozen yards behind them....

Well ye see we like our enviroment. And our people. And we just don't like SUVs.......

He was interrupted by an aide who ran up and spoke in his ear for a moment. Linfield smiled and nodded to the aide.

We have entertainment prepared for you and myself.

He led the way into the humble castle with its ventilation and arrow slits all over for decorative effects of course. He passed young bards practicing and dancing. Clapping his hands enthusiastically he joined in for a moment...

They threw a rope around your neck and watched you do the jig of death.....

He set off once more and lead the Shah into an extremely high-tech room in the middle of the castle. Video feeds were streaming in from all over the globe. Linfield smirked and sat down in front of one screen. It showed several hundred disgruntled men with axes and human skulls buckled to their belts. Guns in hand they were moving rapidly through the forests of some far-off place. Linfield grabbed a camera stick and zoomed in.

Shah Khosru those are the Sawney Beane Clan. They are cannibals and incesters. They are also the best clan to watch on military excursions. I made a bet with the Great Leader Li of MassPwange that some of my Sawneys could kill his Lizardmen Irregulars. What you're seeing is a live video feed of the Sawneys in the underbrush.

He turned back and watched intently as they moved their hands to their belts. Drawing axes as a young boy at the end of the line lead the horses along a few dozen yards behind them....

The Shah cringed, "In Parthia, cannibals are usually disemboweled, but I'll watch because I like this kind of entertainment."

The Lizards, covered with dead animal skins and wielding huge black machetes lurked in the trees a few hundred feet above, watching the Sawney Beane clan move into the woods.

A few of them moved ahead down the trail....