NationStates Jolt Archive


The Most Ridiculous Idea EVER (Canada goes FT)

The Canadian Union
02-04-2005, 04:08
OOC: Now, for those of you who deal with me in MT, don't worry- I will remain MT. However, I will alternately do FT at the same time- freaky, but it can be done. Worry not, as all FT threads will be prefaced with FT.

OOC2: Although it may appear to be a joke, it really isn't.

IC:

*Fade to black, then big Star Wars type credits appear. The Star Wars theme then begins playing, but, it suddenly stops."

Prime Minister Graves's voice came over the speakers: "No, you idiots, get it right! You're supposed to be playing the national anthem! GOD!"

Graves then said, "My apologies to the audience, but, we're having slight technical difficulties."

*Much yelling and screaming is heard, then the credits start rolling again, with the correct music*

STAR WARS
Episode Pi: Canada Strikes

IT IS A DARK TIME FOR THE GALAXY. OKAY, WE MAY HAVE
OVER STATED IT, BUT, ANYWAY- THE POWERS OF LIGHT AND DARK RUN WILD. ORDER HAS BEEN LOST. CHAOS REIGNS. HOWEVER, ONE PART OF THE GALAXY REMAINS UNTOUCHED BY WAR. THE CANADIANS HAVE BEEN BIDING THEIR TIME--AND NOW IT IS TIME TO REVEAL THEMSELVES! BLAH!

A voice then rang out again- "Way to format, ASSHOLES! YOU'RE FIRED!" A female voice then rang out, "Colin, stop complaining." *whack*

And so our story begins...

HMCS Indefatigable, a great Illustrious (read Imperial Mark II) class Star Destroyer, was keeping watch silently above Ontario. She was waiting to recieve instructions from the Admiralty in Ottawa, the capital.

Aboard the ship, boredom spread.

Captain Brock was in his cabin, watching the Demented Cartoon Movie. As he was busy laughing at the random-ass sequences, Colonel Bishop, head of the 12th Fighter Wing aboard Indefatigable came in.

"Sir, shouldn't you be at the bridge? Ottawa will be calling soon."

Brock replied, "Bishop, have you learned ANYTHING while in the Navy? Ottawa runs on eight hours behind every other place on the planet- they never get anything done."

However, to Brock's surprise, the HoloNet began chirping like mad. It was an incoming message from Ottawa.

Bishop smiled, "That's what you think, Captain." The Colonel then left the Captain.

MEANWHILE

OTTAWA

Prime Minister Graves was pacing around in his office, muttering things like "Damn that Brock", "Where the hell's my coffee", and, "Lemon curry?"

He finally got through to Brock on HoloNet. Immediately he started on one of his tirades, "Brock, where the hell have you been? We've just been able to get through to you- you were supposed to be here FOUR HOURS AGO!"

"Sir, I can expl.."

"NO, YOU CAN'T," Graves screamed, "YOU CAN'T!" "Anyway, I'm glad you could make it- I have an important assignment for you."

Graves then held up a drawing. "Tell me, Captain, what is this?"

The Captain replied, "A very poor drawing?"

Graves nodded, "Yes, but it's much more. It's a diagram of DREAMSTAR, that is, our probe to reach other worlds."

*TO BE CONTINUED*
Gaian Ascendancy
02-04-2005, 04:21
((OC- Why do I get this sudden notion of 'Monty Python' in space? Is it me? =oO=?? ))
Phalanix
02-04-2005, 04:22
((OOC: You ain't alone on that count my friend))
The Canadian Union
02-04-2005, 04:24
OOC: That it will be. Monty Python is wonderful, and shall be spread to the stars- at blaster-point of course. :D
Gaian Ascendancy
02-04-2005, 04:28
((OC- Then in the immortal words..

..be afraid... be 'very' afraid. ))
Phalanix
02-04-2005, 04:29
OCC:Well looks like the future is gona be SO screwed up it's gona be funny!
Red Tide2
02-04-2005, 04:41
Ooc:lol! Tagage!
The Canadian Union
02-04-2005, 14:34
"This *does quotes with hands* 'Dreamstar' is actually a hyperspace-capable probe which will transmit messages over a very long distance, across the uncharted mass of space to contact other civilisations," Graves replied.

Captain Brock was a bit confused. "Sir, what does my ship have to do with a bunch of freakin' probes? If they're hyperspace capable, can't they bloody launch themselves?"

Graves sighed, "Captain, your ship has to go to the outskirts of the system to release these probes. It's pretty damn obvious. Now, for this mission, I must remind you of what the penalty for faillure is, so, I've brought the Governor-General to remind you."

Governor-General Mochrie strolled off the elevator and into the room, screaming "CASTRATION!" at the top of his lungs repeatedly. He then went back into the elevator, screaming "CASTRATION!" all the way down."

Graves sighed, "Lunatic." "Anyway, Captain, we will be loading around twelve probes aboard your ship. Be prepared to leave within six hours. Ottawa out."

After he had switched off the HoloNet, he sat down on his couch. In the next room he could see his wife Mai playing Dance Dance Revolution. He then closed his eyes, hoping to catch a few winks before he had to go to Parliament.

A FEW HOURS LATER...

Lieutenant Jansen arrived on the bridge of HMCS Indefatigable. He found the Captain looking out upon the base above Ontario- cruisers and capital ships everywhere, and fighters constantly on patrol. The Captain then heard the Lieutenant behind him.

"Yes?"

Jansen saluted, "Sir, the probes are on board. Control's given us permission to go to hyperspace."

Brock nodded, "Excellent- make preparations to go to hyperspace in ten minutes."

After a few minutes passed, Indefatigable made the jump into hyperspace. Though it was just a normal jump, it would have quite an impact on galactic history. It was only a matter of time until Canada revealed herself.