Risban
01-04-2005, 17:16
The Risban Imperial News Network
Emperor Robinson Antares Scorpius, the greates emperor to rule the Grand Imperium of Risban in over two-hundred years, has stepped down from the Imperialcy. He has decided to retire ast age 25 and become a Buddhist Monk, denouncing Christianity and the Order of the Scorpion.
Meanwhile, Bob Sloof Lirpa, a former janitor in Imperial Palace and butler to Countess Nora Courtney, had been appointed to become the new emperor. Concerning his royal lines, if one traces his family back to the founding of the Risban Empire, one finds that he is the great-great-great-great-great-great grandson of Emperor Dolohov's second cousin's aunt's uncle's maid. The new emperor has plans of severing all ties with major alliances and closing down the Ministry of Foreign Affairs.
Other News that took place after the appointment of Emperor Bob Sloof Lirpa...
Risban City's name shall now be known as Sloof Land.
The animal of the Grand Imperium of Risban shall henceforth be the Funky Chicken of Uber-Doom.
It has been decreed that it is IMPOSSIBLE to lick your own elbow.
The currency of the Grand Imperium shall from this moment on no longer be the plutus, but the Cat Bone.
Imperial Palace is being torn down and replaced by a vacation resort.
The latest refridgerators shall be constructed of former Imperial nuclear missiles.
The Empire has adopted the Way of Bob Sloof Lirpa as its official religion.
Over ninety-percent of people who have read this whole thing will attempt to lick their elbows.
Every Ministries except the following will be closing down: The Ministry of Monty Python's Funny Walks, the Ministry of Paranormal Affairs, the Ministry of the Way of Bob Sloof Lirpa, the Ministry of Cheese, and the Ministry of the Funky Chicken of Uber-Doom.
The Risban Imperial News Network signing out, April 1st.
Emperor Robinson Antares Scorpius, the greates emperor to rule the Grand Imperium of Risban in over two-hundred years, has stepped down from the Imperialcy. He has decided to retire ast age 25 and become a Buddhist Monk, denouncing Christianity and the Order of the Scorpion.
Meanwhile, Bob Sloof Lirpa, a former janitor in Imperial Palace and butler to Countess Nora Courtney, had been appointed to become the new emperor. Concerning his royal lines, if one traces his family back to the founding of the Risban Empire, one finds that he is the great-great-great-great-great-great grandson of Emperor Dolohov's second cousin's aunt's uncle's maid. The new emperor has plans of severing all ties with major alliances and closing down the Ministry of Foreign Affairs.
Other News that took place after the appointment of Emperor Bob Sloof Lirpa...
Risban City's name shall now be known as Sloof Land.
The animal of the Grand Imperium of Risban shall henceforth be the Funky Chicken of Uber-Doom.
It has been decreed that it is IMPOSSIBLE to lick your own elbow.
The currency of the Grand Imperium shall from this moment on no longer be the plutus, but the Cat Bone.
Imperial Palace is being torn down and replaced by a vacation resort.
The latest refridgerators shall be constructed of former Imperial nuclear missiles.
The Empire has adopted the Way of Bob Sloof Lirpa as its official religion.
Over ninety-percent of people who have read this whole thing will attempt to lick their elbows.
Every Ministries except the following will be closing down: The Ministry of Monty Python's Funny Walks, the Ministry of Paranormal Affairs, the Ministry of the Way of Bob Sloof Lirpa, the Ministry of Cheese, and the Ministry of the Funky Chicken of Uber-Doom.
The Risban Imperial News Network signing out, April 1st.