NationStates Jolt Archive

Republican News Network

President-Elect Woodrow Yiffington has declared today, 1st of April, a sacred day for the entire universe, and as such is selling several million fluffy Kittens and W-88 nuclear warheads for "The princely sum of one banana". All applicants should apply using the following form:

Name of Nation:
Have you paid the fee of One (1) Banana?
Purpose for buying said Kitten and Nuclear Warhead:

I'd like to purchase forementioned Kittens for the purpose of cooking up Kittencake, a regional delicacy of Hrstrovokia.

Your Kitten has been sent to your country in the first available F-18. Would you like your W-88 Gift-wrapped with a bow, or inserted onto an ICBM?

We'll give you two banana's!

Buying kitten to put ontop of ICBM, to act as a silencer.

Buying warhead to jam up kitten's ass, would like ICBM delivery to Hog..I mean just send it to these coordinates.

I believe we can miss a banana for a kitten, so I can throw the kitten into the meatgrinder and make sausages and meatballs out of it.

Everyone likes sausages and meatballs.

Alas! We are out of bananas. Will you keep a kitten for us while we seek one?
*prepares to send out the fleet in search of bananas*

All requests accepted. Dumperstam, said Warhead will be delivered with two kittens on the warhead. Imported Vermin, two kittens and two warheads can be delivered free of charge. Kendari, Mr Yiffington has ordered the entire Republican Naval Force out in search of a banana.

Gift-wraped, send it to the Pentagon, c/o the baby jebus.

Done and done. Anymore takers?

I'll take one

One Kitten and Nuclear Warhead dispatched immediately via InterContinental Ballistic Missile (ICBM) delivery system. Expect delivery when a large mushroom cloud blossoms over your country...

We kid, we kid...We do love our jokes here at the Department of Defense. A kitten and W-88 have been sent to your country.

Kittens and W-88's for all!

Here are 2 bannanas.
Kittens are for the chinese food industry, and missile is for....um..."defensive purposes..." ;)

Wow. Two Bananas. Excellent. Your pacakges are on the way as I speak...

President Billy Johnson:

Hey! Hey! I've always wanted a pet cat! I'll pay 2 000 bananas if you lat me have one, okay! Pleeeeease!

We will give you 300 bannanas. We also want the warheads strapped to the kittens and them dumped out of B-52's over some nation but not my own

PRseytcahrods I jammed the sun into your nation so you shouldn't be talking now! hehehe And we are giving one more bannana for another kitten and nuke heheheh

Go away

The two of you get 100 Kittens, 100 W-88's and a shiny apple each for telling him to go away. Expect delivery very, very soon.

I feel specail...wait thats just the radiation.

W00t! An apple!

A shiny Apple no less

PS thanks for the kitten and nuke. No country will ever suspect a cat to lay a nuke in its litter box

The Ascendancy will take the kittens and a nuc for one nice and scrumptious Chacitta Banana.

The nuke we'll just dump into the sun as we pass by it.

The kitties will just be spread over our numerous (thousands) worlds as a prefered pet. =^^=

Here are 2 bannanas.
Kittens are for the chinese food industry, and missile is for....um..."defensive purposes..." ;)
we'd like the opposite, two warheads for the chinese food industry, and two kittens for "defensive puropses"

Bananas are on the way!

Applauds the wisdom of the Gaian Ascendancy & Elephantum

I will send you one million bananas for two million kittens...keep the nukes, we have used kitty litter

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly...
Good: KITTENS!
Bad:FIRE!
Ugly:KITTENS ON FIRE!

Yeah anyways... We would like to exchange 1 million bannannas for 1 million nukes and 1 million kittens. The nukes are for nuking, and the kittens are for setting on fire!

Name of Nation: Dostanuot Loj
Have you paid the fee of One (1) Banana?: Yes *Wires banana now*
Purpose for buying said Kitten and Nuclear Warhead: Warhead for ammusement, kitten for cuddeling.

I wish to buy one fluffy white kitten with grey spots, to be delivered carefully and without incident to me. The warhead I wish delivered, disguised as a subway sub, to Jared the subway guy, for "testing purpouses".

Head of State,
Peshtur Namtar

OOC: I think I'll actually use the kitten in RPing >.>

Kittens are for cuddeling!

My people will gladly give good homes to all the kittens you have left in stock. We will give you as many banana's as you care for.

You can use the warheads to what ever purpose you wish.

we will take 2 million kittens. cats are important to our nation, as they are sacred, especially our native Lynxes. also, 2 million kittens each for Kiaonisys and Frosbitaria

All requests accepted and good shipped out

Sweet. TLA (formerly the nations of Resistancia, Frosbitaria and Kiaonisys) will be looking forward to their arrival