NationStates Jolt Archive

In a drunken rage, Emperor Maximus IV stumbles outside his palace and looks upon the citizens of Sidestreamer wandering to and fro, wags his finger at the crowd and makes a declaration to each citizen and nation!

Maximus IV: YOU! YOU! YOU! EVILDOERS! EVILDOERS! EVILDOERS! TERRORISTS! VILE... TERRA-ISTS! I DECLARE WAR ON YOU ALL! YOU ARE EVIL! (picks up cane and swings it at old gentleman walking past him) GODLESS HAG! I DECLARE WAR ON YOU! YOU'RE GOING TO FEEL MY WRATH!

Overhead, a stream of 30 ICBMs are seen flying in random directions. Bullets are raining from F/A 18's as they shoot down the citizens, even though the planes have Sidestreamer insignas.

DEATH TO INFIDELS!

AND YOU! YOUR NATION! I DECLARE WAR ON YOU! YOU'RE GOING TO FEEL ME, PUNK BITCH MOTHA F***A!

In the distance, a mushroom cloud blocks out the sun and expands rapidly... it's getting closer... it's here!



















OOC: This must be the worst April Fool's prank ever pulled...

OOC: this is off topic (or is it)

BAN DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE!
Dihydrogen monoxide is colorless, odorless, tasteless, and kills uncounted thousands of people every year. Most of these deaths are caused by accidental inhalation of DHMO, but the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide do not end there. Prolonged exposure to its solid form causes severe tissue damage. Symptoms of DHMO ingestion can include excessive sweating and urination, and possibly a bloated feeling, nausea, vomiting and body electrolyte imbalance. For those who have become dependent, DHMO withdrawal means certain death.

Dihydrogen monoxide:


is also known as hydroxl acid, and is the major component of acid rain.
contributes to the "greenhouse effect."
may cause severe burns.
contributes to the erosion of our natural landscape.
accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals.
may cause electrical failures and decreased effectiveness of automobile brakes.
has been found in excised tumors of terminal cancer patients.
Contamination is reaching epidemic proportions!

Quantities of dihydrogen monoxide have been found in almost every stream, lake, and reservoir in America today. But the pollution is global, and the contaminant has even been found in Antarctic ice. DHMO has caused millions of dollars of property damage in the midwest, and recently California.

Despite the danger, dihydrogen monoxide is often used:


as an industrial solvent and coolant.
in nuclear power plants.
in the production of styrofoam.
as a fire retardant.
in many forms of cruel animal research.
in the distribution of pesticides. Even after washing, produce remains contaminated by this chemical.
as an additive in certain "junk-foods" and other food products.
Companies dump waste DHMO into rivers and the ocean, and nothing can be done to stop them because this practice is still legal. The impact on wildlife is extreme, and we cannot afford to ignore it any longer!

The American government has refused to ban the production, distribution, or use of this damaging chemical due to its "importance to the economic health of this nation." In fact, the navy and other military organizations are conducting experiments with DHMO, and designing multi-billion dollar devices to control and utilize it during warfare situations. Hundreds of military research facilities receive tons of it through a highly sophisticated underground distribution network. Many store large quantities for later use.

*clicks here*

Are you someone else's puppet? I'm surprised you haven't broken out teh n00kz yet :rolleyes:

Nebarri Prime, I would like to take this bill to the UN for approval. We to believe dihydrogen monoxide is also a murderous agent that has been responsible for many recent sinkholes in my part of the Empire.

Oh, and by the way, I declare war on you, and have crashed down 40370237848 ICBMs on your capital, while my nation of 82 million people sent 800,000,000 troops to your shores and are plundering your fields as we speak!

hehe

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v115/chair094/ignorecannon.jpg

Teh trusty Üb3rpwnz0r 1.G.N.0.R.3. cannon vaporizes teh n00kz0rz, teh OMG! 800 million tr00p army, and teh n00b nation of Sidestreamer.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v115/chair094/ignorecannon.jpg

Teh trusty Üb3rpwnz0r 1.G.N.0.R.3. cannon vaporizes teh n00kz0rz, teh OMG! 800 million tr00p army, and teh n00b nation of Sidestreamer.


Looking at the blinding light of the Üb3rpwnz0r 1.G.N.0.R.3. cannon, the emperor screams:

Maximus IV: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOkkkkluck kluck kluck kaaaaaw!!!!

Maximus IV spontaneously turns into a chicken.