NationStates Jolt Archive


The German Reich laughs at Arda

Guffingford
30-03-2005, 10:16
Berlin, capital of the German Reich

Arda. A region of the self-proclaimed evil nations of the world. Where the mysterious nation Melkor Unchained rests, where Automagfreek, recently restored moral order by Damien Dreadfire, sits. Other nations... Why do I care? I don't care about them, nor do I have to worry about them. They can only feel comfortable when they slaughter yet another nation. The German Reich fights with honour and bravery, carries on the traditions of Prussia. But they lavishly enjoy cold blooded murder. I must make a speech about these nations, and make my pure citizens aware of how good they have it. The German Reich truely is over everything, especially them. Why am I wasting my time with these people? They are not worth the time or the effort. But still... Arda is nothing, a rabble of orcs who run around waving with melee weapons while trying desperately to potray themselves as a "force to reckon with". Arda. Haven't heard much about them to be honest, except Operation Brimstone. And even then we only saw a bunch of guys wishing for the old days. Me myself, I have not seen these days of glory. And to be frank, I don't care about them. I only live for the German Reich, not to stand idle and watch in awe at the achievements of some once-powerful nations. Operation Brimstone...

Cobragt Rundevelt was walking through his grand office, paintings of Picasso and Monet on the walls. Even a Van Gogh, the beautiful sunflowers. Warmth is coming off the painting in a tender yet summer like glow. This was once the office of Adolph Leighmar - where he is now is a mystery. And all those Arda lackeys. Lackeys? Slaves! Slavish nations who always obey the bidding of their slavedriver. I believe they even thank him after getting whipped when they have not obeyed all his bestial desires. New Alliance Treaty Organization? A foolish attempt to make himself look like some kind of do-gooder while also bragging about being the biggest military power on the world not afraid of using medieval tactics to become victiorious. A bittersweet irony, one to laugh at and also one that makes my head ache. I had to write a speech, let go of my anger. Jealous? No way. The warm wood of the floorboards, the wood carvings, the frescos on the ceiling and the many artefacts from Mesopotamia, the Indus valley and Mexico. How on earth can I write a hate speech in such a superb atmosphere? I need to see things that make my skin crawl, something which inspires massive hatred. I think I'll pass this one to Joseph Cyre, he's always creative with words.

Hours later...

Joseph Cyre, the genius with words and language was finished with the latest speech and promptly sent it to the Führer. Cobragt was indeed very pleased with the result. It was a powerful piece of writing. Clearly not nuanced, biased and filled with prejudiced opinions. It was perfect. Cobragt put on his finest suit, combed his hair and announced to GBA (Guffingford Broadcasting Agency) he would make a speech regarding the recent events. Without hesitation they cancelled all scheduled programmes - nobody complained and within fifteen minutes the Führer was live in the ether. Television, radio, internet. "We are live in five, four, three, two one..." The man pointed to the Führer and the red light 'On the air' went on. Everywhere in the nation public television screens displayed the face of the Führer, with the small party icon in the lower left corner. Everybody was waving and cheering, clapping and shouting praises.

Open international broadcast

"My pure citizens. First, my apologies for interruption of your work. But pressing matters go first. As you may know, a most annoying event in the development stages but nonetheless it has the potential of growing into a world wide conflict. Some of you know, the restless continent of Arda, part of the ludicrous METUS gathering has always been plotting revenge against us. And as you all know, my good citizens of one blood, many have tried something against us but failed. Arda is synonym with failure, with unter-mensch, subhuman filth. They have even allied themselves with the Red Bloc Army just to secure the loyalty of some people who are communist. Alliances with communism. The phrase 'how low can one go' jumps to mind and in all seriousness, Arda is already on the bottom of the bucket. In how many ways is the German Reich superior to them? We are humans, we all believe in the ideals of Social-Nationalism, identity, unity and freedom. They do not know the words honour and loyalty. They will never do anything that might harm themselves, they live at the expense of their ignorant allies, feasting upon their rotting corpses whenever they jumped into the breach once more to save their ringleader from harming them even more than their worst enemy. You see..." The overwhelming applause and cheering even made its way into the private studio and some of the crewmembers couldn't resist clapping, dancing and almost looking at him as God himself. The Führer thanked everyone and gently asked everybody to calm down. He continued. "...Citizens of the world, you can see for yourself my people are a happy people. Void from the evil of democracy, we have the right to voice our opinion. Our opinion about Arda. Of course the Arda inhabitants will look at me and call this speech untrue, biased and a blunt lie. Do they have the right to speak? No! All of their countries are misguided by a fool who thinks they rule the world. Led by the most inhumane desires of lust, greed and murder they are the lowest of the lowest earth has to offer. They can only take, they do not give. Our Reich gives prosperity and welfare to the people, and they give love and obedience in return. We are the true people of earth, the chosen race. Death to the eternal enemies of The German Reich, death to the traitors, death to those who oppose the march of Social-Nationalism. Our eternal allies, too many to name will stand firm with us in our joint crusade against the dark armies of ignorance, lawlessness, immorality and communism..." The speech hasn't reached its end yet, but it was pointless to continue. The German citizens were mad of love for the Führer, and were running through the streets hugging everyone, shaking hands. The people of The United Reich of Guffingford are united in celebration and the joyful, glorious feeling of supremacy.

I dare you to prove them wrong.
Moleland
30-03-2005, 10:52
Tag
The Merchant Guilds
30-03-2005, 17:39
The Arda Gang's response should be interesting.
Guerrillistan
30-03-2005, 19:26
Bakan residential district,Bucktag- Guerrillistan capital city.....

Tuning into Guffingfordi satelitte television, Moses and his brothers flicked onto the latest GBA output. A speech from the Fuhrer was just about to begin, an event not to be missed, Guerrillistan itself as a nation shared common views and policies with Guffingford.
The speech was extremely absorbing and Moses felt a slight chill at his neck, this Fuhrer had a way with words, a way that captivated all who saw and heard him. The speech finished and the four brothers leant back and looked at each other.
They all agreed with everything the man had said, throughout the whole of Guerrillistan almost 500 million had heard the broadcast either through the television or radio, in the days that followed Cobragt Rundevelt became a topic of national discussion, a man with integrity and no fear.
Melkor Unchained
30-03-2005, 21:24
Broadband return transmission
Point of Origin: Daturias, Nova Rhûn

"The Reich is correct. For too long now Arda and her sons have stood up to their shoulders in the mire of evil; in the company of the subhuman orc, fighting with them to help the self styled 'Dark Lord' perpetuate his sickening grasp over the region. Morgoth has in the course of his rule utterly subjugated the mighty Southron and Easterling races, pitting them against each other to compete for his favor. Oppressed as well were the noble Dunlendings and the Veriags: held struggling, against their will, as if being drowned by the massive hand of the twisted Lord of Angband.

"This is why, of course, we have taken up the mantle of self-rule and have started a campaign to cleanse our land of the orc and troll: to do away with the methods of old and cast the Heathen god down from his rocky throne. Surprising, I find it, that the Reich knows nothing of our glorious battle at Angband, wherein a miraculous victory was had by the noble forces of Man at the expense of the Dark Lord and his hideous minions.

"Looks like the Führer should pick up a newspaper."

--Ivyalo Lon

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=371642
Guffingford
30-03-2005, 21:50
OOC:Thanks :) I'll read it tomorrow, now I'll post some slanderous lies about you.

IC:
Of course, none of this news written by Melkor Unchained. The minds of the unstoppable German propaganda machines worked themselves flat to come up with an idea to make their battle against the subhuman garbage known as orcs and other vermin like an illegal, horrid, crime against humanity. It was a tough one, since they clearly said how they hated such low geneticly messed up freaks. Back to the old lying or a bit more intelligent deceit? A hard one. Little was known to the German Reich about this Melkor Unchained. The government was hoping for a reaction from one of Arda's slavestates, but a message from the leader himself was quite, unexpected. The Führer even felt honoured to a certain degree, since he knew this message came to the right person. But the question still stands, how to make Melkor's message look like an untrue statement, full of lies and propaganda. Thankfully, the bright mind of Barnard Rosse has worked something out, harken friends.

Open communiqué

"Aye, it is true you may find Orcs and such beneath your own kind but wasn't Melkor Unchained the nation who supported Orcs and such? It appears you have fallen off your faith my dear friend. And as the world can see once again, nations governed by the ignorant are destined to fail miserably. Your nation is always in turmoil and can only create turmoil. The German Reich knows peace while yours can only achieve peace by more battle. The Romans knew that principle as well, and look what happened to them. You may have placed yourself high on a throne built on the bones of the wretched but your construction lacks. Our motto is, contruction, not destruction. While your nation is hellbent on the destruction of others, we focus on the construction of ourself, and building a stable state. Your nation knows of nothing of the values our people cherish or how people should be treaten. Treason, lies and greed fill your dictionary and your personal agenda. Do not kid yourself Melkor Unchained, do not deny the superior position of the German Reich. You know it, you try to avoid the facts."

- Barnard Rosse, spokesperson for the German Reich.
Melkor Unchained
30-03-2005, 22:57
"You will do well to not refer to us collectively as 'Melkor Unchained' for we are ruled not by him and are speaking for Lord Alkanphel's following, not Morgoth's rabble. Your comparisons to him are aptly worded and astute, but the time has passed since we have been counted as his subjects. We are now the Five Kingdoms, not of Morgoth but of Man.

"Being that you are apparently speaking of him, we find no fault with y our words and praise them wholeheartedly."

--Ivaylo Lon
Neo-Tiburon
30-03-2005, 22:59
Tag, copies-and-pastes the official ToY position and goes back to sleep
Red Tide2
31-03-2005, 00:52
OOC::Raises his hand: Err... Guffingford, Didnt you undergo a democratic revolution a few weeks back?
Samtonia
31-03-2005, 04:55
Return Transmission
Origin: Samtonian Capital Region

You're funny. Real funny.

We've started an office pool. How long would you last against Arda? I'm down for about twelve minutes. Now just declare war, so I can go win money. And you will note that this rant was not deemed important enough to actually bother with a reply, so you get tech support from the Samtonian National Defensive and Construction Engineering Corporation. Whee.

Oh, and do go and stop sitting on that stick. It might cause some more problems, besides the severe and utter stupidity shown by you. But hey, to each his own.

Tech Support Officer Lt. Raynes
Crimmond
31-03-2005, 10:25
"You believe that we fear and cower before the likes of Morgoth? Hah. He is an ally, yes, but it is simple fact that even though a member of teh Arda Alliance, no crimmond citizen has ever even MET a represenitive of Melkor Unchained.

You say that you are freed from the evils of democracy yet you let your people influence your opinions. Citizens follow. They do not lead. Best you remember this before you are brought down by your own corruption. Yo insist that your riech is better than any Ardan nation? Prove it. Step up to the plate and look to your Eastern Border. We are at your doorstep, waiting*. We are even now in the midst of crushing the demented and corrupt Black Staff and could easily muster enough forces to decimate you. Add into this the forces of Automagfreek assisting in our purge of the Black Staff and you would be wise to start placing Anti-Aircraft guns in Berlin..."

http://home.earthlink.net/~alpha_zero_usm/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/maximus1.jpg
General of the Army Maximus Decimus Meridius
Commander of all Crimmond Military Forces not involved in The Purge
Myer Garrison Commanding Officer

(OOC: *Crimmond controls Polanc Czek Republic, Slovokia, Belarus, Lavia Lithuania, Estonia and Kaliningrad. Also, Myer is the city of Lodz)
Guffingford
31-03-2005, 15:50
OOC::Raises his hand: Err... Guffingford, Didnt you undergo a democratic revolution a few weeks back?Democratic? No. Revolution? Yes, but not for the betterment of my nation. And Crimmond, I thought Russian Forces owned that, in which case I was busy destroying Belarus... But anyway. IC reply pending.
Melkor Unchained
31-03-2005, 19:14
[ooc: Crimmond, youre in Arda the region, but you're not in the alliance yet. You sort of need to ask me about that ;)

Region members to enjoy some of the same benefits, however, so its really a trade off. Talk to me sometime and I'll spell out for you what it means to join the Alliance.]
Automagfreek
31-03-2005, 19:33
Simple words from such simple fools. The Destroyer laughed as he read the transmission. The Great Hall was alive with laughter, and amidst the hilarity a few distinguishable comments could be heard: THEY are laughing at US?!?; What the hell is this 'Guffingford' nation?; Great...Nazi's.....the ultimate right wing circle-jerk.

As Dreadfire saturated his pen in ink, Hartman cleared his throat and interrupted. Placing his drill instructor's hat on his head, Hartman respectfully told Damien I'll handle this m'lord. Knowing Hartman's way with words, he smiled and nodded his head in approval.

++++++++++++++++++++

Ah, the German Reich.....if there's one thing I absolutly despise on this Earth, it's goose-stepping krauts like yourselves. Sure, it's easy for the lot of you to sit back and mock those in Arda, one of the oldest and most powerful regions on Earth. Only generations of inbreeding can produce such inane comments, and I must say that the people of Guffingford are the cream of the inbred crop.

If you would open your eyes instead of prancing around in sissy uniforms, goosing eachother in the ass, and holding the world's largest collective circle-jerk, you'd know that Arda is quite independent of it's founder, the Five Kingdoms. Arda sticks to it's own business, only caring about semi-worthy adversaries in Titan (The Triumvirate of Yut). Up until this point Arda has not heard of this 'German Reich', nor cares about it one way or another. In fact, to me, your little country looks like about 10 pounds of monkey shit in a 5 pound bag.

Laugh all you want, but when the sun sets and the day is done, Arda remains the baddest dogs in the yard. It's hard to say what kind of beast Guffingford would be, because I do not know what to call a neutered, half retarded, and utterly inbred dog. I think I'll just stick to the name Guffingford, it sounds like it fits the profile.

http://www.sideshowtoy.com/images/gold/thumb/3401.gif
Minister Hartman
-AMF Department of Foreign Affairs-
Neo-Tiburon
31-03-2005, 21:36
In an addendum to our previous response, we wish to counter the mad disparagement of the New Alliance Treaty Organization as an Arda lapdog. Non-Ardan nations are in the majority in NATO- there is only one that even is considered a member of Arda, namely, the EAE of Automagfreek. One out of 29 makes a majority? That is some of the fuzziest math ever calculated.
Crimmond
31-03-2005, 23:24
[ooc: Crimmond, youre in Arda the region, but you're not in the alliance yet. You sort of need to ask me about that ;)

Region members to enjoy some of the same benefits, however, so its really a trade off. Talk to me sometime and I'll spell out for you what it means to join the Alliance.]
OOC: Thought it was automatic... ah well. Just void those sentences then.
Tocrowkia
31-03-2005, 23:44
The Tocrowkian Reich laughs at Guffingford, because we hate you and desire nothing but to see you burn in the fires of hell.
Crimmond
01-04-2005, 04:39
Democratic? No. Revolution? Yes, but not for the betterment of my nation. And Crimmond, I thought Russian Forces owned that, in which case I was busy destroying Belarus... But anyway. IC reply pending.OOC: Missed this in my semi-drugged state. Hmm. RF and I have had one too many problems and have chosen to treat each other as if we don't exist.
The Macabees
01-04-2005, 04:51
Fedor shuddered in his sleep, eyelids twitching violently as he dreamt. Horrors moved through his mind, images of the dead, screams of the dying, crying of those about to die. He spoke in his sleep, whispering the words of a prophet... the Lord.

"Enemies rise, new friends grow. Our once allies turn enemies, and our once enemies turn foe. What is the world to come? I can only fear change, but change is the propulsion of His work."

Picture like images of slaughtered heathens, blood splattered across the walls, guts spread through the streets, engulfed his fragile brain and he continued.

"We must act. The world is coming to a turning point."

[OOC: Just an embellished... well not really... tag.]
Samtonia
01-04-2005, 20:49
In an addendum to our previous response, we wish to counter the mad disparagement of the New Alliance Treaty Organization as an Arda lapdog. Non-Ardan nations are in the majority in NATO- there is only one that even is considered a member of Arda, namely, the EAE of Automagfreek. One out of 29 makes a majority? That is some of the fuzziest math ever calculated.

[OOC- Oy you bloke! I'm in NATO too you know. Unless I'm not actually part of Arda. Hmmm......]