Seoshackdak
28-03-2005, 01:57
Seoshackadilian Intercom News Service (From 1 Week Ago): After a large iceberg broke off of Antarctica due to global warming, it flowed along the coast for an estimated two days before being lodged in Seoshackadak's one and only exit to the surface. This exit was used primarily as a trade route for importing lolly-pops which many addicted citizens have become highly dependent on. As citizens began to go into withdrawl, many became suicidal and "euthanized" themselves from the pain of the shortage.
The heavy amount of suicides lead to an estimated 40% drop in the human population in the capital, LeMonde. Citizen estimates taken yesterday state that the human to lemming ratio has reached 1:4 and will reach 1:30 in one and a half weeks. Upon hearing this information, certain lemmings have organized and are preparing an overthrow of the government.
Address to Human Minority by Citizen Representitive Toivo Honka (Today): Citizens, our fellow inhabitants, the lemmings, have officially withdrawn from all national debates. I have heard reports of mass groupings of lemmings apparently eating our fellow humans and they will likely try to overthrow our government by tommorrow afternoon. I will be asking for international intervention immediately following this address. Please remain calm, locate any weapons, and proceed to our main plaza. If you are approached by a lemming, give it a swift hit to the head with a shovel and repeatedly attack it with the sharp end until it stops moving or squeaking, which ever happens first. Musa goluca anrt sogomasse!
International Plea for Aid (Live): I ask our fellow nations to aid Seoshackadak after we were betrayed by a group of furry rodents dedicated to the destruction of humanity. They have threatened and have currently began to pursue violence against our citizens. They have chased people down hallways and into dead ends and have commited God knows what! Please we ask for help! Ahh! Jari masse! It's got my leg!!! :eek:
The heavy amount of suicides lead to an estimated 40% drop in the human population in the capital, LeMonde. Citizen estimates taken yesterday state that the human to lemming ratio has reached 1:4 and will reach 1:30 in one and a half weeks. Upon hearing this information, certain lemmings have organized and are preparing an overthrow of the government.
Address to Human Minority by Citizen Representitive Toivo Honka (Today): Citizens, our fellow inhabitants, the lemmings, have officially withdrawn from all national debates. I have heard reports of mass groupings of lemmings apparently eating our fellow humans and they will likely try to overthrow our government by tommorrow afternoon. I will be asking for international intervention immediately following this address. Please remain calm, locate any weapons, and proceed to our main plaza. If you are approached by a lemming, give it a swift hit to the head with a shovel and repeatedly attack it with the sharp end until it stops moving or squeaking, which ever happens first. Musa goluca anrt sogomasse!
International Plea for Aid (Live): I ask our fellow nations to aid Seoshackadak after we were betrayed by a group of furry rodents dedicated to the destruction of humanity. They have threatened and have currently began to pursue violence against our citizens. They have chased people down hallways and into dead ends and have commited God knows what! Please we ask for help! Ahh! Jari masse! It's got my leg!!! :eek: