NationStates Jolt Archive

Since Green Sun and Roach-Busters have started trading, thousands of cats have been exported to Green Sun illegally. Now as much as we love cats, they seem to be rather deranged and have a tendancy to randomly dash across busy city streets. And they eat all the lasagna they find. So Vice President TK Termite is visiting JL to discuss a solution to the problem.

"This does indeed some to be a significant problem," the Generalissimo said. "And I can understand the concern. What solutions have been discussed?"

"Well, many Green SUn citizens have started just shooting the poor things to put them out of their misery. Others are adopting them, which is great for our Cat Food industry, but the owners can't care for them all. Perhaps Green Sun and Roach-Busters should try to find teh source of all these felines? I mean, you ARE the Pest-Control Company of Roach-Busters. You should specialize in mammals, as well."

"We'll gladly take them," J.L. said. "Roach-Busterians love cats. And cats love Shoobans. They use Shoobans' faces as scratching posts and Shoobans' mouths as litter boxes."

"But the problem is, JL, is the fact they're coming from Roach-Busters. Last RB ship that arrived at one of our colonies had over four hundred cats on it. We need to do something to lower the cat population in both of our nations. Green Sun loves cats, too, but we also love Lasagna."

((Bump))

"Hmmm...this is indeed a problem," the Generalissimo said. "From now on, all ships are forbidden to carry animals, with the exception of the ships which will be transporting the cats back to RB from Green Sun. Violators of this rule will be publicly castrated with plastic knives, without being given anesthesia."

"JL, that's a little extreme. Besides, a share of them are actually Green Sun merchants returning to our worlds for more delivery, so if you castrated them Green Sun would probably take legal action. Why don't you make it so that household cats must be sayed or neutered unless they have been liscenced for breeding? And if they don't the male of the house is castrated along with the cats. That should reduce the number of felines becoming deranged and wild. As for the already-wild ones, I was hoping you could come up with a solution. The problem isn't the people transporting them, the cats are actually just stowaways, like rats."

"JL, that's a little extreme. Besides, a share of them are actually Green Sun merchants returning to our worlds for more delivery, so if you castrated them Green Sun would probably take legal action. Why don't you make it so that household cats must be sayed or neutered unless they have been liscenced for breeding? And if they don't the male of the house is castrated along with the cats. That should reduce the number of felines becoming deranged and wild. As for the already-wild ones, I was hoping you could come up with a solution. The problem isn't the people transporting them, the cats are actually just stowaways, like rats."

"Good idea," J.L. said.

((You don't have a smoking ban, right?))
TK looked around the room and spotted a cigar case. He pointed to it and asked,
"May I? Before the smoking ban in Green Sun I was a light smoker and since then I've been meeting farmers who make their own tobacco products from Earth and taking smoking breaks just outside Green Sun space."