NationStates Jolt Archive

A mysterious man stepped onto the camera and began to address the international crowd.

“My friends, allies, neutral nations, enemies, nations who have no idea who the hell Borman is, we invite you to join us in a grand and intensely uber festival of music, free love, and war. Uberstock will start in the ACDC (Ac-dic) stadium in the center of Borman. As according to the Uberstock tradition we will begin with badger wrestling and gladiator bouts. Bring your best badgers and gladiators. Uberstock will commence further once the majority of the senior planning committee arrives. Uberstock is a festival not to miss, and to all those who see this and don’t come, YOU’RE GOING TO HELL!!!”

As the man chuckles and steps away the camera pans out to view what is in place already. Thousands of table full of food, alcohol, and drinks of every kind imaginable lined multiple circular pits built into the ground. The table were set up to allow entry to the food and display a great view of what would occur inside the pits.

Off to the side a massive black curtain hung, no one knew what was behind it.

Uberstock V was starting.

Uberstock information (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Uberstock)

I wish to attend.

-Generalissimo J.L.

The Inkanan Socity of Warmongers, Music-Listeners, and Chicken Farmers will attend. The club has approx. 200,000 members.

I wish to attend.

-Generalissimo J.L.

Official Imperial Response:

You don't need to ask, just come.

The Inkanan Socity of Warmongers, Music-Listeners, and Chicken Farmers will attend. The club has approx. 200,000 members.

They can start if off, but I have a feeling many mroe people from Inkana will be coming.

A voice comes over the loud speakers set up amongst the tables and stages.

"The first gladiator fight will begin in 10 minutes. Borman's own Maximilius Halredo, and there is currently no challenger."

I wish to attend.

-Shah Khosru III

Dementia Rex of Camel Eaters will fight the Borman gladiator.

As he lit a cigarette after stepping out of a CSN Osprey, Minister De Ruyter thought to himself, "Hell, this ought to be fun," and immediately proceeded to find beer.

I wish to attend.

-Shah Khosru III

Official Imperial Statement:

You don't need to ask, just come.

As he lit a cigarette after stepping out of a CSN Osprey, Minister De Ruyter thought to himself, "Hell, this ought to be fun," and immediately proceeded to find beer.

A random Borman walked up to Minister De Ruyter and handed him a massive mug of 'Justice Pale Ale' a Bomran brewed beer, very good.

There was a great trembling, and a chasm opened in the ground. But from the chasm emmitted a brilliant flash of #ffccff light, and none fell in. Rather, the dread secretary of state Dailey, who chooses to be known by the inifinitely more intimidating Dalius rode forth upon a tide of #ffccff-ness, cloaked in black, grim specter in hand. At his side was Hansien, president of the Zoogie People, and Dredon, whose name is sufficiently intimidating.

At length the purple tide ebbed, and on the edge of the Great Chasm of DOOOOOOOOOM! stood the three most intimidating figures, and the gazed around impressively.

"Where is the free love, m'liege?" snarled Dailey - er, sorry- Dalius.

"I know not," replied Hansien. "Psst...Dredon! Is my speech intimidating enough?"

"Oh, very, sir. It is the height of intimidation. Mortal men tremble in its wake."

"Good." Hansien gazed around at the barren, empty lands. In the distance there was a great stadium, and a gladiator arena. "You know what I think we need? I think we need the entire population of Zoogiedom to come."

"I concur," said Daile...er, Dalius. "But first, let us swift to the MUNUS GLADIATORIUS!!!!!!11"

"Mm, quite."

The three men walked in a most stately and austere fashion towards the gladiatorial arena. And there was much rejoicing.

Back in Zoogiedom

"FREE LOVE!"

The cry sounded in the streets, and TEH POPULACEz0r was in quite an agitated state. Eagerly, TeH POPULACEz0r rushed en masse toward the Borman Empire, marching across land and sea with alarming rapidity. At last, with a tumultuous shout, they were assembled, all 2.8 billion of them.

"HEY! WHERE'S THE LOVE?"

Upon which shout they began to cavort happily and frolic in the fields. And there was much, erm, rejoicing.

Mr. West's office

Nathan West strolled around his office, his newfangled uber-phone on speaker. He stared wondrously at the device, as he no longer had to hold the receiver in his hand to speak. It was amazing. He continued to pace, and spoke.

"Oh, come on, Mr. Lincoln. We need you to rise from your grave and do EPIC BATTLE!! You have to admit, that was pretty good last time."

"No," a harsh, raspy force emitted from the speaker. "Godzilla was a total bitch about it afterwards. Never again."

"Pweeeeeease?"

"No."

"Oh, come on."

"Awright. I'll think about it."

"Thank you." He hung up, except he didn't really 'hang' anything up. He pressed a button. He marvelled at the new technology these days. He dialed in another number. "Yo, Thor..."

Dementia Rex of Camel Eaters will fight the Borman gladiator.

THe same voice came over the loudspeaker, "We now have a challenger, Dementia Rex of Camel Eaters."

Dementia Rex was led through an undergrond tunnel to a large iron gate. It led into one of the pits and a gate just like it on the oppposite side held Maximilius.

OOC: I need to watch my sisters for like 10 minutes so when I get back it will start.

There was a great trembling, and a chasm opened in the ground. But from the chasm emmitted a brilliant flash of #ffccff light, and none fell in. Rather, the dread secretary of state Dailey, who chooses to be known by the inifinitely more intimidating Dalius rode forth upon a tide of #ffccff-ness, cloaked in black, grim specter in hand. At his side was Hansien, president of the Zoogie People, and Dredon, whose name is sufficiently intimidating.

At length the purple tide ebbed, and on the edge of the Great Chasm of DOOOOOOOOOM! stood the three most intimidating figures, and the gazed around impressively.

"Where is the free love, m'liege?" snarled Dailey - er, sorry- Dalius.

"I know not," replied Hansien. "Psst...Dredon! Is my speech intimidating enough?"

"Oh, very, sir. It is the height of intimidation. Mortal men tremble in its wake."

"Good." Hansien gazed around at the barren, empty lands. In the distance there was a great stadium, and a gladiator arena. "You know what I think we need? I think we need the entire population of Zoogiedom to come."

"I concur," said Daile...er, Dalius. "But first, let us swift to the MUNUS GLADIATORIUS!!!!!!11"

"Mm, quite."

The three men walked in a most stately and austere fashion towards the gladiatorial arena. And there was much rejoicing.

Back in Zoogiedom

"FREE LOVE!"

The cry sounded in the streets, and TEH POPULACEz0r was in quite an agitated state. Eagerly, TeH POPULACEz0r rushed en masse toward the Borman Empire, marching across land and sea with alarming rapidity. At last, with a tumultuous shout, they were assembled, all 2.8 billion of them.

"HEY! WHERE'S THE LOVE?"

Upon which shout they began to cavort happily and frolic in the fields. And there was much, erm, rejoicing.

Mr. West's office

Nathan West strolled around his office, his newfangled uber-phone on speaker. He stared wondrously at the device, as he no longer had to hold the receiver in his hand to speak. It was amazing. He continued to pace, and spoke.

"Oh, come on, Mr. Lincoln. We need you to rise from your grave and do EPIC BATTLE!! You have to admit, that was pretty good last time."

"No," a harsh, raspy force emitted from the speaker. "Godzilla was a total bitch about it afterwards. Never again."

"Pweeeeeease?"

"No."

"Oh, come on."

"Awright. I'll think about it."

"Thank you." He hung up, except he didn't really 'hang' anything up. He pressed a button. He marvelled at the new technology these days. He dialed in another number. "Yo, Thor..."

A mysterious ghastl figure arises from the grave and begin to assault the RPer or the Zoogie People.

"STOP GIVING AWAY SECRETS!!! SHHH!! WAIT!"

Back at Uberstock:

The nation of Zoogie people is turned away.

"Sorry, you can not enter untill most of the events preceding you occur. And those can't occur until Uberstock enters it's 1333r awesomeness most rockitudeness stage."

[OOC: oops ;)]

I turned, and there was a ghastly figure holding a sickle. I yelped and said, "Ok, fine. Jerk!"

Unfortunately, it seems I really hurt his feelings. Twenty minutes later, after calming the evil spirit's sobs, I resumed.

In Borman Empire...

"FINE! HURRY UP, GOSH!"

A resounding chorus (in perfect unison) arose, and the Zoogies turned away to camp somewhere else, awaiting.

Erstwhile, as 'erstwhile' is an exceptionally cool word...

"Dude, these seats are fantastic," said Da...lius, stuffing his face full of extra-extra-butter popcorn. "And this popcorn is, like, exquisite."

"Quite," said Dredon, stroking his figurative beard.

"Shh-hhh," warned Hansien, gesticulating wildly in the general area of the downward direction. "The gladiators. Starting."

Dementia really liked shotguns. He easily hid one in his rather large cloak pounding on the bars for a moment he stepped back and eyed up Maximilius.

"Yeah a shotgun will really blow his head off."

A random Borman walked up to Minister De Ruyter and handed him a massive mug of 'Justice Pale Ale' a Bomran brewed beer, very good.
Having accepted the ale and thanked the random Borman, De Ruyter had found at least 2 more gallons of beer, and had become quite throughly sloshed. He stumbled into the arena's stands, half looking for wiskey, half looking for prostitutes.

He did not expect to see gladiators. "Well, *hic*, this looks interesting. HEY! BEERMAN!!!"

The same voice came, "The fight will begin shortly."

In Dementia's tunnel several guards took him into a small room nearby in the tunnel.

"You must strip down and then you cna put on any of the armor provided and use any weaposn provided so long as you do not have more than 2 of each."

A random spectator was overheard in the following conversation...

1 - Who's that?

2 - Dunno. Appears to be the Sevresky minister, drunk, and about to get some from the gladiators.

[eery silence]

2 - Not like that! Or...oh.

[eery silence redux]

(both) - Ewwwwww.

Having accepted the ale and thanked the random Borman, De Ruyter had found at least 2 more gallons of beer, and had become quite throughly sloshed. He stumbled into the arena's stands, half looking for wiskey, half looking for prostitutes.

He did not expect to see gladiators. "Well, *hic*, this looks interesting. HEY! BEERMAN!!!"

A man with a small blakc bag on his shoulder walked over to De Ruytur an looked at him, it was the beer man. "Sir, I think you've had enough. But this is Uberstock, have more!"

He reached into his bag and grabbed the top of a hose. He pulled it out and stuffed it into De Ryutur's mouth. The man then proceeded to pull out the rest of the house and finally the 10 gallon tank it was connected to. He laid this down and then sat De Ryutur into a chair.

Upon the plunging of this device into the drunken minister's orifice and the subsequent turning-on of the said device, the jaws of the two aforesaid spectators - a father and his twelve year old son - dropped.

"Now that's reeeeeally not right."

"I know. The poor guy. Beer is supposed to be enjoyed slowly. This is completely ruining the fine art of tas...I mean, I agree completely. Ewwww. What? I said I agree completely. Stop looking at me funny. I've never touched a drink. I swear. "

OOC: Camel eaters? You there?

On the other side Maximilius discarded what he was wearing and pulled out two pieces of armor and two weapons. Dementia would soon find out what they were.

Being about half finished with his beer tank, De Ruyter was getting antsy. "COMEON! I want to see death already! BLOOD! I WANT BLOOD!"

"Thats it. Dementia will not participate in this battle. Another Borman gladiator, Hammerls will particiapte."

The two gates slowly rose. Maximilius wlaked out one side with a suit of chainmail on and a skull helmet. Swinging in his hands were two twin blades.

Hammerls as a thick suit of leather armor and a small round wooden shield. On his back a curved axe waited for use while his right hand gripped a short sword.

"Ah, that's more like it," De Ruyter thought, "Now, to fulfill my duties as foreign affairs Minister. HEY! Pimp man!!!"

Suddenly a loud bell cmae from one of the gates and Hammerls charged at Maximilius. Maximilius parried Hammerl's blow with one sword and swung at Hammerls with another.

Hammerls' blocked with his shield and threw his weight into Maximilius.

Max (Too much typing) pushed himself off Hammerls' arm and rolled out of the way of his sword.

Max ran around Hammerls several times before making a quick jump at him.

He parried Hammerls blade and then spun his sword in a fast circular motion so Hammerl's blade flew out of his hand, it did.

While he did htis Max hacked at Hammerls' shield with his other sword. With his first sword free Max then swung at the wrist holdign the shield and severed it.

Max dropped to the ground and kicked out Hammerls' feet who then fell to the ground with a loud thud.

Max hopped apon his and held his blade in a strange fashion running alongside his body wiht the tip at Hammerls' adam's apple.

Maximilius then looked up at the crowd for their decision on Hammerls' life.

"Ah, that's more like it," De Ruyter thought, "Now, to fulfill my duties as foreign affairs Minister. HEY! Pimp man!!!"

Snoop Dog walked over sporting his stylish outfit from Starsky & Hutch.

"Ya?"

bump. I can't make my grand entrance of uberness quite yet.

But when I do...

Snoop Dog walked over sporting his stylish outfit from Starsky & Hutch.

"Ya?"
"Yeah, yeah. I'd be greatly appriciative if you'd bring me about 5 of the best looking ho's y'all have, in the skimpiest outfits possible, a video camera, and a llama." He then remembered the match. "KILL HIM!!!"

"Yeah, yeah. I'd be greatly appriciative if you'd bring me about 5 of the best looking ho's y'all have, in the skimpiest outfits possible, a video camera, and a llama." He then remembered the match. "KILL HIM!!!"

"They'll be here in 5."
------------------------
Maximilius looked up and then down at Hammerls, and then drove the blade into his throat.

The same voice came, "The winner of our first battle, Maximilius! Badger wrestling will commemnce shortly, as well as a second gladiator fight. Maximilius will participate in that."

A massive explosion could be heard as the Camel Eaters's from the very first Uberstock stepped into the Coliseum. Blood rained from the skies and women ripped off their shirts as the delegation went to take a bit of stadium to sit.

"Bitches fight!"

A small legion of soldiers entered the largest pit, where the Camel Eaters' were, and made their way to them.

"You must all come with us for screening to make sure you fight fair."
--------------------------------------
"THe drinking contests will now begin. Borman's Paulie awaits."

Seated upon his llama and swooned by his hos, De Ruyter was dumbfounded. "Drinking contest?! This I have to get in on."

Da...lius was standing up in the stands, roaring and point accusatory fingers every which way. "KILL HIM! KILL HIM! KILL HIM!..."

"Calm down...he's dead," said Hansien, pulling him back down before security arrived.

"Oh."

"Yeah, he's no longer moving and lying in a pool of blood. He has expired. He has passed on. He has been butchered in the darndest manner. I say to you, and I say to you verily, this is an ex-man!"

"X-men?"

"Sigh..."

They were interrupted by the most defeaning roar. "GENTLEMEN!"

"Wha...?"

Dailey...er, Dalius, looked down in the arena to see a crazy guy, wholely unauthorized, standing there and taking full advantage of the arena's fine acoustics.

"Where's Dredon?" asked Da...lius abruptly, noticing the third of their party missing.

Hansien buried his head in his hands. "Down...there..." He lifted up a feeble finger to point at the speaker, and groaned.

"EXCUSE ME! Can I have y'all's attention please?" Dredon roared again, and an earpiercing shriek that was quite literally ear-piercing emitted from the microphone. Dredon, it now became evident, was a master at inducing feedback from microphones.

"Now, I realize that very shortly there will be another gladiator fight, and a badger fight. However, as I'm a highly impatient man - and I'm sure all of you are as well, even the women - I would like to take this time to introduce..."

"NO!" cried Hansien, his once-youthful face descending into pallor with remarkable rapidity. "He wouldn't."

"He is!" cried Da...lius, leaping into the air and letting out a triumphant shriek of joy.

"...I would now like to introduce...Zoogiedom's own, 45th Squirrel Dancing Squadron! ...broughttoyoubythedeptartmentoflavishspending."

Squirrels began leaping about from every direction into the arena, going into formation - 25 'stories' high. Then, Dredon put on some god-awful music, and the squirrels began to dance.

"Of all the department of lavish spending features he brought with him..." Hansien was even more pallid now. "He had to bring the 45th dancing squirrel squadron. He's interrupting the program. Get security."

"Aw, man..." Dail...Dalius began to whine.

"Actually, never mind," said Hansien. Dalius looked up, a spark of eagerness in his eyes. This quickly died down, as Hansien said next, "I don't think that will be necessary."

Dredon was forcibly dragged off the arena and returned to his place; the 45th squirrel dancing squadron was dispersed. Even as Dredon bawled his eyes out over their scattering, Hansien whisphered, "It's too quiet."

They looked around.

It was too quiet.

"Psssst...what happens next?"

"Ladies and Gentelmen! Please turn your attention to the massive black curtain with, awww, who came on it? *Murmurs* Bastards, it was a rental *End Murmur* Well anyway turn your attention to the black curtain!"

As people began to watch and the gladiators were left behind the black curtain slowly rose, then dropped down. Behind it AC/DC sat on a massive stage.

"Let the rock begin!"

A low rumble began to grow in the distance as a hush fell over the attendees. It was time.

The rumble grew louder and louder, eventually becoming a roar of engine noise and air horn. Suddenly, the wall of the stadium exploded inward, as a massive semi truck crashed through, flipping over onto its side. From the wreckage, a drunken derelict crawled out, and, after stumbling around dazedly for a few seconds, produced a guitar and strummed a power chord before launching into an ear-splitting, face-melting solo.

The masses were awestruck, falling to their knees in joy and horror (yes, at the same time) at the sight of this harbinger of Uberstock. As it had so many years ago, Uberstock had once again begun.

The center of the stadium floor began to shake violently, and then split apart with the Earth beneath it as a tower of fire and light rumbled forth. Riding on a wave of molten rock was Abraham Lincoln.

Outside the stadium a volcano suddenly grew from beneath an office building, and as it spouted fire and ash, Godzilla crawled out. In the distance a Giant Robot was seen coming from somewhere unimportant.

The clouds overhead began to thunder and harsh rain fell on the stadium. The voice of Thor the Thundergod boomed out over all.

"Screw Valhalla..."

Thor tumbled out of the sky and landed directly on a crowd of awestruck revelers, crushing them into dust. Thor stood, and the four great combatants prepared to do battle.

"Most excellent."

With a terrific flash of intolerably bright light, the Cherub came from the heavens to observe the epic battle of the four greats, the second such battle that he had observed. And with a tremendous flash of #ffccff light - this time not quite so bright and flashatory - the venerable Mr. West arrived and dragged with him the much renowned Titus the Manly.

"Thor!" growled Titus, dripping wet with rain. He shook his fist. He remembered full well what had happened to him last time, and in the off-season, he had godmodded feverishly to gain a slightly more divine status.

Titus, however, could do little but watch as the rumbling and mighty form of Godzilla leapt into the air and spewed flame all about, singing - no, burning to crisp - any spectator that happened to be fool enough to get in its way. And Godzilla landed with a great thud, and chasms opened up even thirty miles away, and he beat his chest in the manner of King Kong, and lifted his face straight into the air, and roared.

Then, as Godzilla looked around impressively and causing great general commotion, Abraham Lincoln harassed the Giant Robot with his incredibly awesome card-dealing abilities.

As the battle began to commence an orgasm of rockitudeness music exploded from the stage as every great rock group in history began to play their greatest song. The music filtered together creating an orgasmic song, yes people were having orgasms on account of the music, and they agreed it was once again the single greatest song ever.

Where the Zoogie People had been denied entry:

The man who had turned away 2 Billion+ people go tout of his chair and put his truncheon down. He picked up a guitar, gleaming form the rain soaking it. He began to deliver more music and in a flash of light and #ffccff smoke he appeared at Uberstock.
---------------------------
The entire nation of Borman was suddenly ripped form whereever they were and whatever they were doing and transported to Uberstock.

As the rock flowed form the stage, the people partied, and the monsters battled another miracle occured. The ground began to shake, explosions of lightning and smoke hit a massive mausolium (Wow, I spelled that wrong). Flashes of white and #ffccff faces appeared around the tomb, and then...The doors flew open. A pale white figure stepped out. Suddenly another flash of lightning and the figue took on a shape and color and clothes.

There standing in the door was the late emperor Bhalk, in all his glory. In his hand he clutched the medieval axe that he died fighting with. As he took a step forward thousands of gladiator slaves charged him. He became a beast and slew each and every one. When done he walked down and entered the crowd.

"I'm back in black for Uberstock bitches!"

A wanderer, a goth in the dark, scary sense, walked around aimlessly among the crowds.

"Life sucks," he said, thoroughly depressed. "Everybody hates me."

A cheerful bouncing bundle of joy hopped by, shouting 'Bunny!' in a most delightful and ecstatic manner. The goth stopped her. "Cast aside your illusions. Life sucks. You may be happy now, but you'll be out in the streets eating grime before you're twenty. Face it."

The aforesaid bouncing bundle of joy became an ex-bundle of joy, and started to cry.

"Go ahead. Cry. Bawl your eyes out. See? Nobody cares. Your life sucks. Just like everyone's." The goth moved on, and wandered aimlessly. A crazy person ran along, and bumped into him, nearly knocking him over, barely noticing, and continuing on his way.

"Look at that. They all hate me," said the goth sulkily. "Rejection. Despair. Base, evil, utter, total rejection. Those bastards."

A cat walked by. It was a beautiful feline with golden fur. The goth kicked it. "Foul wrench," he snarled - if the dull, bored drawl could be called such - in a monotonous tone. "How dare you not be black? The world sucks, and you better start reflecting it." He then gouged one of its eyes out.

The goth walked on. He tripped over his shoelaces and fell over. He reached for his shoes, but couldn't quite get there without sitting up. Sitting up required effort, and he was already at the end of his frustration. "God, life sucks. Look at this. Stupid shoelaces. What mindless fool made them so long? How much of a retard am I to not be able to reach them?"

A mass of some three billion people began to walk over him. A few people stepped on him. He groaned. "Man, life sucks. I am worthless. So are you. So is everyone. Good-bye, cruel world. You suck."

...on a slightly more merry note...

The rest of the populace rushed in a massively exuberant frenzy towards wherever they were headed. Among them was some guy. "Ah, this is the swell life," he said.

Immediatly Zeus smote the reamins of that goth and any others like him, "No one at Uberstock may be unhappy."

Suddenly, the sky went dark, and it began to rain. Thunder crashed, and lightning flashed. Suddenly, in the middle of the colleseum, a trapdoor swung open and a platform raised up. Standing in the center in gleaming black armor with a giant mace was Emperor Helldawg V, Lord and Emperor of Doomingsland. He had a large, scary looking helmet, and the hilt of his mace was decorated with skulls, as were the knees of the armor.

"Who dares challenge me?" he boomed from beneath his helmet.

Suddenly, the sky went dark, and it began to rain. Thunder crashed, and lightning flashed. Suddenly, in the middle of the colleseum, a trapdoor swung open and a platform raised up. Standing in the center in gleaming black armor with a giant mace was Emperor Helldawg V, Lord and Emperor of Doomingsland. He had a large, scary looking helmet, and the hilt of his mace was decorated with skulls, as were the knees of the armor.

"Who dares challenge me?" he boomed from beneath his helmet.

A gay 30 year old Zoogie citizen yelled, "Shut up you old fag! Im listening!"

Helldawg pulled a throwing axe from his belt and flung it at the Zoogie, catching him between the eyes.

Bhalk walked over to Halldawg and stuck out his hand.

"Good to see you my friend. Come join the rock."

A gay 30 year old Zoogie citizen yelled, "Shut up you old fag! Im listening!"

Then an even more tremendous voice boomed from above, and all trembled in its wake. "Godmodder!" cried the supremely cherub voice. "That is no Zoogie! I shall retaliate in the following manner! Shanka-shanka!"

And with this terrifying curse, Bhalk was struck with a maddening desire to display his ballet dancing skills.

Then an even more tremendous voice boomed from above, and all trembled in its wake. "Godmodder!" cried the supremely cherub voice. "That is no Zoogie! I shall retaliate in the following manner! Shanka-shanka!"

And with this terrifying curse, Bhalk was struck with a maddening desire to display his ballet dancing skills.

Unfortunately Bhalk is dead and thus immune. Plus he's never done or seen Ballet in his life. One person tried to teach him...

*Camers changes to ocean. Sinks down and a rottign corpse lies on bottom of ocean*

bump

OOC: If you're gonna bump get involved.

"Woah, is that Bhalk?"

"Don't know, must be."

Back to the goth

"Man, life sucks even more," said the aforementioned goth, having been struck thoroughly by lightning from the gods above and in his dying minutes. "Being trampled and smitten, in addition to all the other crap I've been through. You all suck."

"Aw, cheer up, dude," said an absurdly happy hippy, who had tripped (one of those things that happen to hippies who choose inopportune times and places to smoke weed) and fallen, and was being trampled simultaneously not five feet away. He held up a psychedelic-coloured lollypop. "Y'know what they say?"

"Life sucks?" The goth sighed. "Go away."

The hippie ignored him. "Some things in life are bad. They can really make you mad! Other things, just make you swear or curse."

"Yeah, you bet. Now go the ---- away, you ----ing ----."

"When you're...chewing on life's gristle...daaaaaaaahn't grumble; give a whistle! And this'll...help things turn out for the beeeest.....!"

"Yeah ----ing right. Loser. Look, I'm getting trampled here, so are you. How the ---- is your diaphragm working?"

"Always look on the briiiight side of life.
whoo-hoo. whoo-hoo-hoo-ho-hoo-hoo.
Always look on the liiiight side of life.
whoo-hoo. whoo-hoo-hoo-ho-hoo-hoo.
..."

"Oh, brother. A psycho, too. I hate you. In fact, I hate all of you. You all suck. Is that all you can do to try to make me feel better? Ha. You bastard. You - "

The goth was trampled once more; this time, terminally.

"...just before you draw your terminal breath!
Oh, life is quite absurd, and death's the final word,
you must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin! give the audience a grin.
Enjoy it, it's your last chance, anyhow!

And always look on the bright side of life!
who-hoo-hoo-ho-ho-ho, oh dear, don't do that, that's me noggin!...blimely! oh well, death's just another journey. Peace! Love! Yeeeeaaaahh...ggggggggh."

Zeus then proceeded to immediatly smite the hippy.

"Damn pinkos."

Helldawg glanced over to the hippies. I'll give them more peace and love than they ever wanted... he though to himself, hitting a button on his futuristic watch. Suddenly, a C17 shot otherhead, and kicked thousands of tiny objects. They appeared to be multicolored, and had their own parachutes. The Emperor had just unleashed a horor even more brutal than the KM2 virus, he had unleash: teletubbies!

Dum dum dum

[ooc] Hmph. Doomingsland, I'm going to pretend you didn't say that. How dare you make fun of teletubbies. How dare you.

The hippie's trampled over body was smitten, and the people rushing past looked down at it and said, "Oooh," and cleared a path so they wouldn't have to step on him.

Ben-Hur today. Oooh. Exactly :)]

Suddenly the enitre nations of Doomingsland, Zoogie people, Generic Empire, and Camel Eaters were transported to Uberstock.

OOC: this looks fun.... mabye... I think I'll come!

IC:

Jipleastan Requests permission to
join in the Uberstock festivities.

OOC: this looks fun.... mabye... I think I'll come!

IC:

Jipleastan Requests permission to
join in the Uberstock festivities.

no need to ask. Just come.

And the Zoogies began to cavort happily and blink a lot and jump like kangaroos and run around in random circles and sing and cut down trees and skip and press wild flowers and climb mountains and swim underwater and frolic in forests and fight and laugh and kill each other and blow themselves to smithereens and pillage and plunder and cavort happily and other stuff, as they are most apt to do upon finding themselves in the midst of entire populations of other nations.

Truly, 'twas a wondrous and perplexing sight.

Suddenyl and unexpectantly vikings came down form the hills. They raided and plundered and ran off with women in their arms to do what vikings do best....SQUARE DANCE!!! (no im joking they ran off with them into the hills)

And then an equal-sized legion of gladiators rushed forth to engage in a bloodthirsty, vengeful battle for possession of the said women.

OOC: I definetly posted somethign that isnt there anymore.

IC: ummm...cant think of anything.

Suddenly the enitre nations of Doomingsland, Zoogie people, Generic Empire, and Camel Eaters were transported to Uberstock.
The people of Doomingsland, being the crazy, desert dwelling peoples that they are, suddenly started yelling like a bunch of crazy Arabs, and came riding into the festival on camels, fireing AK47s into the air.

As the Vikings and Gladiators began to fight, and massive army of Leprochauns suddenly sprang forth from the ground, dancing a merry jig before partaking in the bloody combat.

THe battle continues..
THe rock continues...
Uberstock continues...

Dailey descended upon the AK-47 toters with demonic rage, but at length calmed down and began to explain to them, condescendingly, that they were 'really going about this the wrong way.'

"Look," he argued calmly - a trait he is not particularly known for - "That is not what Uberstock is about. Uberstock is about really great music and really great free love. Do you have any idea how injurous falling bullets could be - especially 7.56mm ones? Do you have any idea how many dreams of free love will be ruined by them?

"I'm sorry, but this isn't the time and place for that. Now go find someone and frolic, or cavort, or whatever...but no guns! Leave the battle to Thor and them. Free love!"

The people looked at Daily with quizical faces. One of them shouted something, and they went into a large huddle. The one that had spoken before stood in front of the crowd and approached Daily.

"We have come to the conclusion that there is no such thing as a 7.56mm bullet. However, we have also decided we don't need our guns right now."

As he said that, everyone slung their rifle over their shoulder. "But you never said anything about...swords!!!"

Everyone in the crowd suddenly whipped out a scimitar, holding them high in the air and yelling.

OOC: I think we can say Uberstock V is over

OOC: No, Borman. What are you talking about? Uberstock is not over. It will never be over. It is, after all, symbolic of our struggle against oppression!...uhm.

Godzilla leapt into the fray and sprayed Borman with a considerable amount of fire. Erstwhile from behind, Abraham Lincoln pole vaulted over a giant mountain, and, having landed two paces behind him, whacked him with his walking-stick. The looming shadow of the Giant Robot appeared next, and the NASTY EYES OF DEATH!!!!1 glared down at Borman.

Then, and only then, came Thor the Thundergod on a fluffy pink cloud, and in a most intimidating manner he stopped directly in front of Borman, and stared into his eyes.

"Uberstock is not over," he declared angrily.

"Uberstock is not over," repeated Borman meekly, with no choice but to oblige. "Please don't hurl that thunderbolt at me."

And then Godzilla sniggered, and Thor, taking the opportunity to resume EPIC BATTLE, hurled it at Godzilla, who fell, shrieking.

Meanwhile there was a great commotion in the stadium, and the sound of pounding footsteps. There at last had Titus Manlius come with an entire legion of gladiators, and they swarmed the stadium, killing and raping as they pleased - a force, mighty and unopposed.

"RAaaaaaaaahr!" Thus arose their great cry in perfectly synchronized unison. And the cherub smiled on, at the moon and the stars and the sun.

Then suddenly an army of immortal vikings form hell rallied alongside Bhalk and begna to do battle with the gladiators. It was clear that the vikigns were the better fighters, but odds were in favor of the gladiators. But then agian the vikings were immortal, so they would eventually triumph.

I shall make it a point to attend, and rock like nobody's business.

--Saul Hudson, Emperor of Freudotopia

Then Titus remembered - the gladiators were quite immortal too. The defining attribute of the Vikings, on the other hand, was their manliness - or lack thereof.

And Titus began to sing a song, because that's what all great war heroes do in the midst of battle, and he sang of an Uberstock long since past, of a time when the Gladiators rose up in arms and hurled volleys of chickens unto their foe the Vikings, and among their number was one John the Not-So-Manly, who, having been struck by a hurtling chicken, cried.

And the Gladiators rejoiced to have such memories called forth, and with renewed vigor fell upon the foe, picking up frogs, badgers, and swallows, and sending them forth as fearsome projectiles in all their manly fury.

And then the vikings were confused.

"Wait a minute, gladiators have only served the purpose of gladiator fights in the beginning. You've never taken place in the battle(s) during the middle and after of Uberstock, that's our job."

And this confused the heck out of Titus, who responded - "Oh. We aren't supposed to be doing battle? Oh. Whoops. You see, when Zoogiedom hosted Uberstock, we kicked your asses with flying chickens. Don't tell me we aren't supposed to fight now."

And the gladiators agreed, and mumbled in consent.