NationStates Jolt Archive

Alfredo Stroessner High School, RB City, the Pest Control Company of Roach-Busters

In class A2B, the history teacher began the day's lesson. This week, the students would learn about the histories of RB's closest allies. Today, the focus was on Generic and Borman Empires, Doomingsland, and Parthia. The students dutifully opened their books, eager to learn about the histories of the nations they so deeply revered. One student, although an ardent buff and staunch supporter of the aforementioned countries, yawned in the middle of the lecture due to his lack of sleep the night before.
The entire classroom gasped, appalled.
"You...dare...to yawn while hearing the greatness of RB's brothers-in-arms?" the teacher asked, his eyes narrowing, several frown lines etching in his forehead, as he scowled, his teeth gritted, his fists clenched, the veins in his neck bulging.
"No, sir, I'm just tired, I didn't sleep well last ni-"
"NO EXCUSES!!!!"
He shackled the student to the desk, removed his shoes and socks, and began pelting the bottom of the student's feet with a very thick, hard, spike-covered leather lip, whacking the soles of the feet over 1,000 times, as the student screamed so shrilly that windows stressed, cracked, and shattered and the rest of the class had to plug their ears.
The teacher then took a paddle, dipped it in a vat of hot tar in the back of the class, and began slowly rubbing the student's feet with it, as he screeched deliriously in agony.
The rest of the class laughed, amused by their classmate's predicament, which they believed he deserved.
The teacher took a plastic knife, and began slowly peeling the student's feet raw, until, many agonizing, mind-shattering hours later- long after school had ended and the other students went home- the feet were raw and skinless, the red muscle exposed.
The teacher sighed. As much as the student deserved further punishment, he was too tired to commence further. He drew a revolver, muttered, "Meh," and shot the student between the eyes, bringing his young life to an abrupt end. Then, he pocketed the revolver, and, twirling his keys and whistling, left the room, leaving the body for the janitors to clean up.

What? Such lenient punishment for this delinquent? Not only did he disgrace the history of your allies, he did not even mention once the glory of the Holy Empire of Armandian Cheese!

OOC: Oy..... :rolleyes:

Wow, moderation would have been good in this case I think. Yawning is not necessarily offensive if theres an excuse.

-Shah Khosru III

un-Official Imperial Statement

Who the Hell does he think he is? Bastard offended me, and I'm all the way over here!

Resident Generian Mountain Guru,
Minister of all Things Enigmatic and Therefore Infinitely Irrelevant

OOC: You left me out, *goes over to a corner and cries*

OC -


No offense to anyone but it is really ridiculous to actually make a thread about a student being executed for yawning in class. I am 100% sure some students in America and other countries yawn when teachers talk about the United Nations or etc. but you see no cases of them being executed, do you now?

My opinion (whether people care or not) is that either this thread was made to attract viewers, or to gain more posts, or even for the fun of it. But, it was a waste of time.

OC -

My opinion (whether people care or not) is that either this thread was made to attract viewers...

[OOC: Ding, ding, ding.... it also makes for an amusing read. I love these threads because they're meant to be extremist.]

This is an outrage! What on earth could warrant such a punishment? Is yawning an insult in your nation? Even so, the only insult that should be rewarded with death is that of treason or murder. We demand that the teaching be tried for murder, and that he pay for parents of the child.

Official Reply:

Sucks for him.

Wow...Harsh

We had a simmiler incident occur just last year,
of course, it was annoying - it took months to destroy
all the wittness, bloody waste of time, if you ask me.

The Draconic Order plans on liberating the oppressed peoples of this insane institution... as such, allies are being called forth to lend their assistance in destroying this country whom makes a mockery out of civil rights...

Which is easy because that country doesn't exist... so we win.

Official Response:

Oh well, things like this happens all the time. Bygones.


Unknown Aes Sedai Of The Red Ajah

The Draconic Order plans on liberating the oppressed peoples of this insane institution... as such, allies are being called forth to lend their assistance in destroying this country whom makes a mockery out of civil rights...

Which is easy because that country doesn't exist... so we win.

[OOC: Wtf?]

Official Response:

Oh well, things like this happens all the time. Bygones.


Unknown Aes Sedai Of The Red Ajah

[hijack]
Dude, Robert Jordan's serie was a great read! Too bad I stopped on the 7th Book (A Crown of Swords)... I should really start it again... right now I got really into techno-thrillers though.

((wait... are they The Pest Control Company of Roach-Busters? if so, then they do exist...))

[hijack]
Dude, Robert Jordan's serie was a great read! Too bad I stopped on the 7th Book (A Crown of Swords)... I should really start it again... right now I got really into techno-thrillers though.


*waves rifle and Hijacks thread*

Hehe its a good set of books, go read it again then or else my Aes Sedai will come after you!

Ha, of course he yawned. Your classes are boring! If I was there i too would have yawned(yet i would have fought back). Propoganda should be more intresting! MAke the people love it, not loathe the rehtorical chantings of an 80 year old teacher. If i had it my way, id invade your petty nation. long live the EMpire, and Utopius.

Say what? Has the world lost it's mind?!? From nations endorsing this violent, horrible murder to a nation, that is smaller then my active military forces, challenging another almost 400 times larger then it.

What is it? World-wide pot-smoking day???!?!?!?

Message from the Commonwealth:

Eh, shit happens.

The kid wouldn't have been yawning if the teacher told our history CORRECTLY. He most likely would've been entertained by the sheer gruesomeness of my predessessors rather than bored.

-Emperor Helldawg V

Neo Tyr is appalled that Roach-Busters left that sort of mess towards the janitors! Those are hard working men wait lives to get back to as well. Killing someone- that makes a very large mess. I wouldn’t be surprised if that poor janitor didn't get home until 12 o’clock.

Shame on you and your disrespect towards the cleaning community.

Lord Ra requests that you exhume the body of this delinquent scum and give it a few smacks for him.

"Well, your history is quite boring..."-The Great Leader Li.

[See Praetonian statement concerning the execution of billions of commies]

Hollow Island, DA

"Well, lesse..." The Librarian looked around, and grabbed the book in question. It was surprisingly nice, in here. Sure, it was virtual, not real... But vastly preferable to the not-so-nice-and-slightly-radioactive 'real world'.

"Roach Busters... Blank file, blank file... Ah, here we have it."

He read the file, a little, then sighed, again. "Okaaaaaay... No civilisational status, yet... Well, damn. I will have to change that."

There were, quite simply, two kinds of 'civilisations' DA recognised. Class A civilisations were quite... Normal, so to speak. They could be the most liberal democracy, they could be the harshest dictatorship. Yet, in all of them, there was dissent. For the former, it would be simple opposition, for the latter, active resistance.

So long as a people didn't talk with one voice, individuality was assumed, making the civilisation in question a worthy one.

Then, there were Class B civilisations. They were slightly different. One feature of a Class B civilisation would be the people agreeing with basically everything a predominantly oppressive regime giving a damn about its people's wishes does.

This kind of civilisations was considered nonsentient. A slight corruption of the term 'sentient', but it worked. Class B civilisations were the ones one wouldn't even export one's shit to, as it would be far to valuable for this kind of anthillesque stupidity that had ceased being human, becoming something less, like a very, very, very badly written teenage horror novel.

A Class B civilisation would be a civilisation where the parents, the classmates, the friends and siblings, the entire nation would agree with torturing and executing a student for nothing.

For now, the librarian didn't enter a classification. After all, he lacked two things: 1. Information that the event had actually happened and 2. Information regarding the reaction of the parents, the classmates, the friends and siblings, the entire nation.

Of course, once this things would change...

Say what? Has the world lost it's mind?!? From nations endorsing this violent, horrible murder to a nation, that is smaller then my active military forces, challenging another almost 400 times larger then it.

What is it? World-wide pot-smoking day???!?!?!?


I have actually heard it is something involving pot happened today but obviously know one can remember it

OOC: You left me out, *goes over to a corner and cries*

Don't worry, you'll be taught in today's class. I won't forget anyone.

*Pats Wirraway on the back*

Ha, of course he yawned. Your classes are boring! If I was there i too would have yawned(yet i would have fought back). Propoganda should be more intresting! MAke the people love it, not loathe the rehtorical chantings of an 80 year old teacher. If i had it my way, id invade your petty nation. long live the EMpire, and Utopius.

You ignoramus, I'm not an '80 year old teacher,' I'm only 51 years old. You damned fool.

-the teacher

Neo Tyr is appalled that Roach-Busters left that sort of mess towards the janitors! Those are hard working men wait lives to get back to as well. Killing someone- that makes a very large mess. I wouldn’t be surprised if that poor janitor didn't get home until 12 o’clock.

Shame on you and your disrespect towards the cleaning community.

Don't worry, next time I'll make the Shoobans eat it so a human doesn't have to clean it up.

-the teacher

(OOC: I was not mentioned! :shock: )

Official Reply:

We have to admit, that's the most oppressive thing ever. Congratulations, you have won the J.L. is the recipiant of the "Most Oppressive Nation" award by the Rosian Classification Bureau.
Department of Foreign Affairs

(OOC: I was not mentioned! :shock: )

Official Reply:

We have to admit, that's the most oppressive thing ever. Congratulations, you have won the J.L. is the recipiant of the "Most Oppressive Nation" award by the Rosian Classification Bureau.
Department of Foreign Affairs

(OOC: We only teach about 4 allies a day, spending about an hour per ally. TIOR history is taught on Wednesdays.)

Thank you. This is the greatest gift that has ever been bestowed upon me.

-Generalissimo J.L.

Our history is rather long, hell, the current dynasty is 1800 years old. The current monarchy is over 2500 years old, founded by Cyrus the Great in the 5th century BC. Of course, some of it is rather entertaining, especially the fate of several usupers and that of POWs.

-Shah Khosru III

Our history is rather long, hell, the current dynasty is 1800 years old. The current monarchy is over 2500 years old, founded by Cyrus the Great in the 5th century BC. Of course, some of it is rather entertaining, especially the fate of several usupers and that of POWs.

-Shah Khosru III

Yawning while being educated about such excellence is inexcusable.

-the teacher

Our history is rather long, hell, the current dynasty is 1800 years old. The current monarchy is over 2500 years old, founded by Cyrus the Great in the 5th century BC. Of course, some of it is rather entertaining, especially the fate of several usupers and that of POWs.

-Shah Khosru III

[OOC: So, the Parthian Royalty are descendants of the Achaemenids? That would be a pretty sweet history to Role Play, or at least outline in a history book format.]

Official Reply:

How is the teacher able to communicate with world leaders?
Department of Foreign Affairs

Official Reply:

How is the teacher able to communicate with world leaders?
Department of Foreign Affairs

E-mail...how else?

-the teacher

Hollow Island, DA

The librarian smiled as he watched the proceedings reagrding this particular issue.

Well, that settles it, I guess.

It was so simple... A mere thought... And the classification was done. Another Class B Civilisation.

He hesitated a little as he watched the edited file. Sad world, this. Very sad. I wonder why... Must be the hivevirus.

With that, he finished, putting the book back to its place, in the virtual bookshelf, humming a little before he took out the next one.

Outside, 'Morning' was about to begin, with the birds singing. Better than before, come to think of it. Apparently, some coding had been done, allowing for a more... Realistic approach when it came to semi- audio information.

A good day was about to begin.

[OOC: So, the Parthian Royalty are descendants of the Achaemenids? That would be a pretty sweet history to Role Play, or at least outline in a history book format.]


OOC: Sassanids actually, but the first ruler Ardeshir claimed his relative Sassan (the dynasty founder) was related to the Achaemenids.

Bump for the sake of nostalgia. :p

An excellent Idea Roach-Busters. The Republic is sending 100,000 Republican History textbooks for your history classes for more enoyment and propa...learning history. Now with pop-ups!

An excellent Idea Roach-Busters. The Republic is sending 100,000 Republican History textbooks for your history classes for more enoyment and propa...learning history. Now with pop-ups!

Thank you. Please make that 50,000,000 textbooks, and name your price.

Well R-B. I am just appalled........ This is a disgrace to humanity...... Good job. :rolleyes:

Republican Military Aircraft C-100 to C-105 diverted to send textbooks to your nation. No price...glad to see someone still sees the value of history, though would you care to exchange embassies?

Republican Military Aircraft C-100 to C-105 diverted to send textbooks to your nation. No price...glad to see someone still sees the value of history, though would you care to exchange embassies?

Indeed I would. I would be honored.

-Generalissimo J.L.

Well R-B. I am just appalled........ This is a disgrace to humanity...... Good job. :rolleyes:

I agree...

I remember this, hahah.

OOC:if that happend in America... i'd be dead a loooooooooong time ago :rolleyes:

If there is such an interest in history, the Ankhmeti Information Bereau has released a new book:

'All About Plinths!'

The ancient and riveting history of plinths, all in 300 volumes!

To:Roach-Busters
From:East Lithuania

To whoever leads the Education comission in your country,
East Lithuania is, while a little shocked, pleased with your diciplinary acts against an incident like this. Oh, we know many teachers here who dream to be able to do that. Anyways, I see you take a great pride in history. Well, one of our best writers, James Grabow, has recently came out with a new book, "History Of NationStates Wars: How They Came About And What Happend." If you would like, we would be glad to send you copys. I'm preatty sure your nation and it's allys show up a bunch. And, i'm sure no one would laugh at this.

Dictator Scharfetter

Instructions for all Calpe citizens travelling in RB:
`Please note that yawning is punishable by death in RB. If you ever see someone yawning over there please yell at them : "Run b*tch. Ruuuuuuuun!!"