NationStates Jolt Archive

:sniper:
I really haven't got a clue what i'm meant to be doing in this game, so to try to spice things up a bit, and with the knowledge of ultimate humiliation in defeat, I am declaring war on everyone!
Bring on your big guns!!
:mp5: :gundge:

Reviewing the news of the day, Duke Huey P. Long, III, ruler of Norleans noted that the newly formed nation of DJ Tone had declared war on the world. Checking the recent updates to his world fact book and noting that the nation had a population of only 6 million or so - barely a good sized city in Norleans, the Duke chuckled to himself. How to make this good - he hated it when new nations were obliterated before they even began. After a few minutes thought, the duke composed a message - tap-tap on the keyboard and it was done and sent.

::: Encrypted Message :::

To the leaders of DJ Tone:

We have noted, with no small amount of amusement, your declaration of war on the entire planet. Of course, you realize that the survival of your nation in such a war is problematic at best. However, in return for a complete and full assurance of non-agression against our nation and it's people, we are willing to gift to your nation the following items which you will need for your own self-Defense in such a war.
1. 25 M1-Abrams Tanks (used)
2. 1,000 AK-74 rifles with 1,000,000 rounds of ammunition
3. 10 Harrier AV-8B "jump jets" (used)
4. 2 Vintage WW II submarines (used for training purposes in Norleans)
5. 1 Vintage WW II battleship (scheduled to be scuttled as part of a training excercise).
6. 100 catapults (made of real wood and pressboard - built by our local Society for Creative Anachronism Chapter for use in a mock battle and Siege, used once)

Finally, in the event the war starts going badly for you and you decide it is time to "self-destruct" your nation and kill all the invaders who are entering your stronghold.

1. A case of Jack Daniels, fine Tennessee sippin' whiskey (for that final toast)
2. A single 5 kiloton yield nuclear bomb (unsuitable for warhead mounting or missile used - designed as an "in-place" self-destruct weapon to blow up your stronghold and the invaders that have entered it, just punch the little red button)

If you agree to our terms, we will begin shipment of these items to you immediately.

Sincerely,
Duke Huey P. Long, III
Norleans

P.S. Except for the rifles which come with ammunition as noted, you'll have to supply your own ammo, missiles, shells, etc. for the ships, tanks, planes.

“Sir, someone has declared war on us.”

“Really? Who is it?”

“The nation of DJ Tone, roughly 6 million population.”

Bhalk clutched his side as he laughed a deep hearty laugh, “That was good, but seriously who?”

“I am serious.”

“Oh. Send the 12th Marine army minus the final corps.”

“Yes sir.”

Official Imperial Communiqué:

To: DJ Tone
From: Chancellor Licinius

Congratulations, you have earned the right to be an imperial colony. You can either surrender or fight the war.
Surrender:
1.) You become an imperial colony
2.) Borman soldiers occupy you
3.) We provide defense for you
4.) You take on Borman laws and follow Borman in it’s views on foreign affairs
5.) Your leader gets to live
6.) Your women aren’t raped
7.) Your men aren’t slaughtered like dogs
8.) Your buildings are burned
9.) Your nation isn’t pillaged

Fight the war:
1.) You become an imperial colony
2.) Borman soldiers occupy you
3.) We provide defense for you
4.) You take on Borman laws and follow Borman in it’s views on foreign affairs
5.) Your leader is horribly executed in a public trial on live TV around the world
6.) The female populace of your nation is raped
7.) All people in some way against us get slaughtered and enslaved
8.) Your buildings, projects, monuments, etc. are destroyed and burnt and your nation is rebuilt in a Borman fashion

The choice is yours, make the right one.

End Transmission

Seeing as to how you have declared war on the world, and I am having trouble finding fellow fantasy tech nations, I think we can afford an informal experiment: ridiculously huge medival nation versus tiny modern nation. Here's what happens:

The half-orc army amasses at the border of DJ Tone, vastly outnumbering the nation's entire populace. After a brief tactical analysis, the general has his shamans come forth and cast IGNORE on the nation, making it cease to exist to any Muktari.

DJ, I leave you with this message. When you are as small a nation as you are, you want to make allies, not enemies. There are plenty of alliances going around. Being apparently shortsighted, malicious, and warmongering, I would suggest the Anti-Communist Alliance to you.

Lasatania begins immediate emergency dictionary exports to DJ Tone

http://www.indianahistory.org/lhs/images/OC-Dictionary.jpg

:D

It's good to read these sorts of threads, as it gives one a lot of tips to make your own threads more successful.

The Imperium also claims rights of conquest on the wretch who has declared war upon it. This shall not be a territory of Borman, so long as Chronosia exists. The Imperium shall go to war if nessecary to secure more land and new colonies, for the glory of the great Daemon Emperor and the Powers of Chaos.

Because Hamptonshire and SAP have stipulated that we are not to possess nuclear weapons, we will get rid of them all- by dropping each and every one of them on YOU!!!! Have a nice day. :cool:

Sirs:
Don't give in to these threats - accept our offer and you will have Catapults - you will have the ability to hurl cows for long distances and your enemies will tremble in their boots (from laughter, but hey, trembling is trembling).
Duke Long

As Emperor of the Deltan Empire, I find your situation amuzing. However, I have decided to offer you a deal. If, in your World War, you do not attack the nations in the Omega Expanse, I will order 3000 F-86D Sabres, 5000 F-51D Mustangs, and 2000 F-262 Stormbirds to be shipped to your nation at no cost. My storefront, Delta Aerospace Corp., has all the specs for the fighters.
Good Luck...you're gonna need it.

Hello DJ Tone

Inviting you into alliance. We shall think your WW thing over and decide what to do.
Also, join the British Overseas Territories.

King Max Ist of Newkraine

In Haasdra, the poison capital of the world (OOC:I shouldn't be proud, but I am!)...

"Sir, someone has declared war on us."

"God grief! Who?!?"

"DJ Tone!"

"It's worst than I ever imagined...very well, launch the cheese missiles! Let us see them deflect gouda power!"

"Yes, sir."

In Hataria, the Hatarian military ignored the declaraion be DJ tone and continued to Fight against the Rebels in Maidia.

Leader of DJ Tone, This is Emperor Maximus IV, informing you that while I have reason to believe you made this declaration lightly, I take all such threats seriously, and I have executed all three of the citizens of your country that were within my Empire.

I'd like to say that I'd crush you, but I have more immediate threats to diffuse.

Our region would normally welcome war spirits, but we need intelligent leaders, and you lack that.

There is a loud bang in the distance. Yay, we win.

Enough from the "big hitters" of nation states. Let's hear what DJ tone has to say after reading all this.

OOC: As a serious suggestion, it might be fun for everyone to claim this country as theirs for defeating it; we could have a large war RP with everyone fighting over this territory. It may be worth little, it may be worth a lot; but it'd be a matter of principle to win the war...

Edit: I should probably point out that I won't be participating, since I have no time for an RP at the mo' and my nations are already at war...with each other
IC:

The pirates of Redball, being as they are on a small moon named Redball orbiting a gas giant known as The Rouge Planet, a good 55 lightyears from Earth, remain unaware of the existence of DJ Tone, and in any case are not part of the same 'world' and therefore have not had war declared upon them.

OOC: Sounds fun, I'm game :)

The Imperium also claims rights of conquest on the wretch who has declared war upon it. This shall not be a territory of Borman, so long as Chronosia exists. The Imperium shall go to war if nessecary to secure more land and new colonies, for the glory of the great Daemon Emperor and the Powers of Chaos.

Official Imperial Communique:

To: Chronosia
From: Chancellor Licinius

If it will not be a Borman territory so long as Chronosia exists, then both Chronosia and DJ Tone will become colonies of the Borman Empire. Do not fool yourself into thinking you can win this, as you can not.

Official Imperial Statement:

The Borneric Empire of Uberness hereby claims this nation as a colony/territory of the Borneric Empire of Uberness. Any and all other claims to this land will be rejected and viewed false. The Empire's war record speaks for itself, you will not win a war.

OOC: I like it, look above.

To: The Borman Empire
From: The Chronosian Imperium.

Do not seek to threaten us idly, the Imperium is not some pathetic power to be trifled with, but a bastion of true Faith. We serve the Dark Gods, and they grant us their power in return. If you seek to make us a colony, then you shall know the wrath of all who serve the Emperor, and his mercy shall not fall upon you, for he shall watch and laugh as your corpses feed the crows, and your souls feed the warp...

Ambassador of Zemcraft to DJ Tone: We laugh at your empty threats. A petty army of 6million cannot defeat the armed republic. Thats right, we're a socialist republic with GUNS!!!! :D

However, if you DO go on this pointless escapade we WILL hunt you down and kill you, with support from the 'Allied Confederate Countries o' or not. We are trembling, we haven't heard a good joke like this for a long time. :p

You can surrender now, and we'll leave you alone OR attack us and prepare to be annihilated. Your choice, a Hiigaran battlecruiser is on standby to meet your request. :cool:

To: The Borman Empire
From: The Chronosian Imperium.

Do not seek to threaten us idly, the Imperium is not some pathetic power to be trifled with, but a bastion of true Faith. We serve the Dark Gods, and they grant us their power in return. If you seek to make us a colony, then you shall know the wrath of all who serve the Emperor, and his mercy shall not fall upon you, for he shall watch and laugh as your corpses feed the crows, and your souls feed the warp...

Official Imperial Communique:

To: Chronosian Imperium
From: Chancellor Licinius

You serve the dark gods do you? Then you might like to know that our emperor is Bhall, lord of murder, and a dark god. We do not seek to make you a colony, we seek DJ Tone, but if you stand in our way you will become a colony. Your threats should be toned down if you seek to find Bhall's mercy as it comes rarely and you are ensuring it will not come when WE laugh as YOUR corpses feed the cows and YOUR souls feed the warp. We have fought and beaten foes greater than you and can do so alone, but we will have many allies to back us up.

End Transmission

Capitalizt Defense Alliance Headquarters—Aeropag, Western Terranordalian Islands, CH

Lieutenant Frank Simmons punches some buttons on his computer terminal and is shocked to find something of immediate importance to General John Sheppard, Commander-in-Chief of the Capitalizt Defense Alliance.
Lt. Simmons: Commander, the rogue state of DJ Tone has declared war on part of our nation!
Gen. Sheppard: Which part?
Lt. Simmons: The part on Earth. They don’t realize how mean it is to try to split Greater Aquilla SAR.
Gen. Sheppard: Where is this “DJ Tone”?
Lt. Simmons: Somewhere on Earth.
Gen. Sheppard: Is it landlocked?
Lt. Simmons: Not as far as we know.
Gen. Sheppard: Send the SMEC Manhattan to bombard their shore.
Lt. Simmons: But sir, the Manhattan is little more than a rusty rowboat!
Gen. Sheppard: I’m aware of its condition, lieutenant! Do you seriously believe that this DJ Tone is a sufficient threat to warrant our most powerful battleships and carriers?
Lt. Simmons: No, sir. I am to paddle it across the ocean myself, since it has not been assigned its full complement of 1 person?
Gen. Sheppard: Don’t be ridiculous! We’ll hook up a computer to run the propulsion and weapons systems. Dismissed.

This isn't even funny :s

Ok, whose puppet are you?

The amount of attention these sorts of threads get is absurd. I see countless well-written, attention-deserving RPs, which obviously saw their writers putting in a lot of time and effort into them; get completely ignored -- whilst these insults to humanity get every major player flocking in to post. Absolutely disgusting.

Thats the way of things.

*launches the Squirrel Suicide Bomber unit at annoying little nation*

Set them up the bomb, And get it over with

bump

:sniper:
I really haven't got a clue what i'm meant to be doing in this game, so to try to spice things up a bit, and with the knowledge of ultimate humiliation in defeat, I am declaring war on everyone!
Bring on your big guns!!
:mp5: :gundge:

"My Sultan, we have a declaration of war..."
"What? We're not declaring war on anyone."
"No, Magnificence. A nation calling itself 'DJ Tone' has declared war on us."
"Ah. Really?"
"Yes, my Sultan. Here is the letter."

~pause~

"How interesting. Well, we're near the bottom of the alphabet, I doubt strongly they shall get around to us anytime soon. Send them a bouquet of flowers and a case of that excellent french wine from last night. Wish them best of luck with that."
"Yes, my Sultan."

OC: Vastiva. I fell out of my chair laughting. Nice one :)

Sudo Grahi watches his view screen as the inhabitants of this planet squabble over who has rights to some tiny little country. He turns to his aid, John Marken and thinks before finally speaking.

"I believe it's time to have some fun... I want 5 OSS MK 27s each with full 5 Imperial Class Heavy Battle Cruisers and full compiment of jets and troops deployed via tugshiips. I also want 1000 Fallen Class Battle Cruisers to escort this group. However, I simply want you to wait in orbit. No attacking until I give word."

John bows, "Yes Mr. Grahi. It will be done right away!"

Sudo raises his hand, his back turned to John, "Oh, and John? Make the troops elites. BMCA3s and MIAs to all of them. That ought to be more then enough..."


John grins, knowing that his boss is right. "Yes sir. This ought to be interesting..."

(( OOC: Ok! Unther is entering the scene, even if it is in the background, not really making themselves obvious. By tomorrow their ships will be in orbit. Have a nice day, and may the best nation win this war... ))

all i can say is this (http://allthingsflash.com/links/files/cartoons/All_Your_Base.swf)

Lol, way to go Dj Tone: you managed to get the big military ones fighting about your small country. Soon they'll declare war upon each other and nukes and other high tech shit will be flying randomly, destroying -among other things- the world. Way to be a hellraiser :p.

bump

bump

ROFLMAO!!! :D

*sits there singing the All your bases belong to us song (even if it is a drum and base tune...and old one at that)*

"Oh what someone declared war on the world.....good i need a new parking lot" Empress Kimiko Sith

Lol, way to go Dj Tone: you managed to get the big military ones fighting about your small country. Soon they'll declare war upon each other and nukes and other high tech shit will be flying randomly, destroying -among other things- the world. Way to be a hellraiser :p.So that's his plan for conquering the world! Get the big nations and alliances and such to fight over him and kill each other, then he rolls in and rules the ashes!

So that's his plan for conquering the world! Get the big nations and alliances and such to fight over him and kill each other, then he rolls in and rules the ashes!
sounds like a good plan

The Fiend! I think its about time some1 linked to the All your base are belong to us flash for all the non-geeks on NS.All your base (http://www.planettribes.com/allyourbase/media.shtml)

Nebarri prime declares the ruler of this contry insane and not fit to rule

Official Imperial Communiqué:

To: DJ Tone
From: Chancellor Licinius

So which do you pick?

Ed Transmission

Official Imperial Communiqué:

To: DJ Tone
From: Chancellor Licinius

So which do you pick?

Ed Transmission

(OOC: Something tells me we'll never hear from him again...)

(OOC: Something tells me we'll never hear from him again...)

OOC: I agree.

Lol, way to go Dj Tone: you managed to get the big military ones fighting about your small country. Soon they'll declare war upon each other and nukes and other high tech shit will be flying randomly, destroying -among other things- the world. Way to be a hellraiser :p.

at least the only way it could back fire is if they all get along... so i guess it wont backfire

at least the only way it could back fire is if they all get along... so i guess it wont backfire

OOC: Oh yeah! Well guess what...

IC: The empire will cede (Right word?) all claims upon the land of DJ Tone to the nation of Chronosia if that nation will enter into a loose alliance with Borman. If this occurs then any and all land of DJ Tone claimed or in possession of Borman will be turned over to Chronosia.