NationStates Jolt Archive

\/\/3 teh L00z3rz u\/ da nayshun u\/ "N00bz with n00kz"...
hereby inform the UN effective immediately all of your members will pay us the sum of Nine Hundred Ninety Nine TRILLION Pesos (999,000,000,000,000.00) or we will n00k UNHQ (Hence referred to as "unk") with our mighty Nookyaler weapons of mass hurtyness. After which time we will n00k countries at random (1 per hour) untill our demands are met.
Sincerely yours,
Teh N00bzorz

*Eats and ignores stupid person*

this noob is fake, look at it.

Damn, MORE F**King NOObs

should we put up I.G.N.O.R.E. cannons?

OCC: Congradulations N00bz with n00kz, you have been offically nominated for the 'Greatest n00b award'. As a reward for this prestigous achievement you shall be given a loli-pop that was stuck to the bottom of a theatre floor and an Ignore. Good day to you, sir.

*Eats and ignores stupid person*

*Eats stupid person again for more emphasis*

OOC: no wait, lets take it seriously, but simply blow these 8th world missiles out of the air, and enslave the entire population.

OOC: no wait, lets take it seriously, but simply blow these 8th world missiles out of the air, and enslave the entire population.

I'm game.

*Eats and ignores stupid person*
"Yaaargh! Blast those lousy Space Pir8z and their smugitude!"
Screamed N00bian cmdr. Sven-Jamal Takahashi-Weinstein
"Shoot a fuggin' n00k at the bastich's!"

"Aye Aye Cap'n!" Replied Dr. N00ksalot as he pushed... *dun dun daaah!* THE RED BUTTON!

A silo hidden deep in the jungle opend up and launched it's deadly arrow into the heavens and to wards the space Pirate Fleet!

"That'll show those filthy buggers!" Beamed the Noob!
"Now prepare to fire a Nook at the 'unk' " (UNHQ) .....

OOC: no wait, lets take it seriously, but simply blow these 8th world missiles out of the air, and enslave the entire population.

Sounds good.

"YEAH! LET'S DESTROY THE UN! DOWN WITH THOSE LIBERAL BASTARDS!" one student mob chanted in front of the UN embassy. They started throwing rocks and stones, but were quickly dispersed after a hail of rubber bullets.

You should all be hung by your nipples for your lack of a sense of humour.

You should be hung by your penis for encouraging this kind of crap.

Sounds good.
"AH! There are games afoot" mused the cmdr out loud
"Sir! Quit talking to yourself!" Yelled a distraught aide "We need to fire more nookz to show the world we're serious!"
"Hmmm. Quite right lad! Fire 2 at the Horned Rat and three at Lachenburg! I've always hated those guys!" Said the cmdr.
a flurry of button pusshes on THE RED BUTTON by dr Nooksalot sends a barrage of death dealers heaven ward....

IC: The fax machine was going constantly, printing out sheet after sheet on some new slave-rich nation. Nearly instantly, active duty skaven were heading twoards the borders. Taking the threat of nuclear weapons seriously, all 9 army groups were covered by 3 battalions of various air craft ment to cover them. And so, nearly nine million skaven all rushed to the enemy, eager to spill blood....

OOC: I know it's crappy, but just look at the targets posts :)

"YEAH! LET'S DESTROY THE UN! DOWN WITH THOSE LIBERAL BASTARDS!" one student mob chanted in front of the UN embassy. They started throwing rocks and stones, but were quickly dispersed after a hail of rubber bullets.

"I like the cut of those kids gib! Professor Communitycollege! Give all those kids honarary degrees in astrophysics at N00b U! Then fire more rubber bullets at the uppity buggers!" shouted the CMDR.
"It shall be done my liege" Replied the professor....

IC: Long range ratscopes had already sited the two "death dealers arcing twoards their territory.

An engineer spoke to warlord snikkit, "based on its trajectory, the missiles will land there." pointing twoards an expanse of utterly useless ground.

"Activate the counter missiles, I want those cut-and-paste missiles gone."

"Yes sir"

In 30 seconds, 10 teddykalinchov CBMs were streaking twoards the "death dealers"

Green Sun has also fired several orbital laser platform at N00bz with N00ks.

Upon glancing at the noob-like missiles falling towards Lachenburg, a large Spotted, Leperchan-type-Salsa-Squirell-with-hooves that 'Quacks' fired a enormus barrage of rose-bush-powered-lawn-mower-rakes with funny hats on a skillets at the missiles, destroying them instantly.

Upon viewing this destruction the Large Spotted, Leperchan-type-Salsa -Squirell-with-hooves that 'Quacks' crawled back into his icy heater cave and began to read Dicken's classic novel, Great Expectations, while chewing on a Dominican Spotted Mole-Gopher-Cow with Suspenders.

IC: The fax machine was going constantly, printing out sheet after sheet on some new slave-rich nation. Nearly instantly, active duty skaven were heading twoards the borders. Taking the threat of nuclear weapons seriously, all 9 army groups were covered by 3 battalions of various air craft ment to cover them. And so, nearly nine million skaven all rushed to the enemy, eager to spill blood....

OOC: I know it's crappy, but just look at the targets posts :)

"Holy handgrenade of the virgin mother!" screamed the N00b cmdr "I want 1 million lbs of rat poisoned cheese spread our around our borders! And cover my front door step with the biggest rat traps you can find!"

"Ummm... riiiiight..." Responded a frightened and confused staff member *Surely the Cmdr has lost it this time* he thought gravely to himself....

"Holy handgrenade of the virgin mother!" screamed the N00b cmdr "I want 1 million lbs of rat poisoned cheese spread our around our borders! And cover my front door step with the biggest rat traps you can find!"

"Ummm... riiiiight..." Responded a frightened and confused staff member *Surely the Cmdr has lost it this time* he thought gravely to himself....
OOC:cool, a noob with good taste

*THR points*
He knows what skaven are, he knows what skaven are"

Upon glancing at the noob-like missiles falling towards Lachenburg, a large Spotted, Leperchan-type-Salsa-Squirell-with-hooves that 'Quacks' fired a enormus barrage of rose-bush-powered-lawn-mower-rakes with funny hats on a skillets at the missiles, destroying them instantly.

Upon viewing this destruction the Large Spotted, Leperchan-type-Salsa -Squirell-with-hooves that 'Quacks' crawled back into his icy heater cave and began to read Dicken's classic novel, Great Expectations, while chewing on a Dominican Spotted Mole-Gopher-Cow with Suspenders.

*...WOW!... I have GOT to lay off the acid!... I'm really freaking out this time!...* Thought the Noob Cmdr to himself as he ate a bag of dorritos....

And all of a sudden a Very Small Bomb Indeed blew up the core of every star in the universe simultaneously, wiping out all life in this universe.

Meanwhile,Several Million Musty, Deranged, Dictionary-Wielding, Sausage-Penguins from Chad gathered around the borders N00bz with n00kz, endlessly Mooing and releasing small robotic David Hasselhoffs from their enormus bearded chins that skwaked.

At 9:01 AM, they unleashed their first of many barrages involving chipolte sause and hairy flamingo eyes smothered in clown hats with poka-dots on their rakes.

It would be a glorious day for Bob...

And all of a sudden a Very Small Bomb Indeed blew up the core of every star in the universe simultaneously, wiping out all life in this universe.
NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO

And all of a sudden a Very Small Bomb Indeed blew up the core of every star in the universe simultaneously, wiping out all life in this universe.

"Buggery and Damnation!" Thought a newly non-corporeal Noob Cmdr "I really HATE it when that happens! Damn exploding universeseseses!"

NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO

Then the ghost of Douglas Adams floated around dancing the Charleston singing:

'I winnz j00 4ll!n00bz with n00kz r m1|\|3 |\|0 \\' !'

Awww, I wanted to do that!
*Squashes fly*

Meanwhile,Several Million Musty, Deranged, Dictionary-Wielding, Sausage-Penguins from Chad gathered around the borders N00bz with n00kz, endlessly Mooing and releasing small robotic David Hasselhoffs from their enormus bearded chins that skwaked.

At 9:01 AM, they unleashed their first of many barrages involving chipolte sause and hairy flamingo eyes smothered in clown hats with poka-dots on their rakes.

It would be a glorious day for Bob...

"Woah! No way those are real!... I'm not seeing this man!" Mused the Cmdr out loud.
"For Chriznoz Sake! Take his fuggin bong away! He's going to rehab NOW!" Shouted the Noob Cmdr's mom, Mrs. Commanderson....

And all the ghosts of the universe can thank Douglas Adams for ending the terrible |\|00|3 '//4rZ which swept only a single planet, but somehow managed to destroy a universe. But you can thank Douglas Adams.

Then the ghost of Douglas Adams floated around dancing the Charleston singing:

'I winnz j00 4ll!n00bz with n00kz r m1|\|3 |\|0 \\' !'

"NO! DAMN YOU NEPTUNE!"

42 no longer exsists!

And in a massive twist....

The ghost of Douglas Adams haunts noob cmdr. He swoops and swishes around and quotes from 'So Long, and Thanks For All The fish'.

he suddenly gets serious..Walks up too noob cmdr and whispers...

"I'm your daddy!"

And all the ghosts of the universe can thank Douglas Adams for ending the terrible |\|00|3 '//4rZ which swept only a single planet, but somehow managed to destroy a universe. But you can thank Douglas Adams.

OOC Hilarious man! I love the trillogy of four! Douglas Adams was a great writer! Can't wait for The Hitch Hikers Guide.... this summer!

"Awww Mom!" Whined the Cmdr "Some one tie her to a nook and launch it at those Green Sun whachamasmozitz!".....
"Now lets all get drunk and play cricket!"

OOC: It was 5 you dumbdoon!
IC:
Green Sun has TROGDOR so we can't be hurt.

The nation of Gilabad has mobilized 20 "Alpha Force" special forces troops who are on stand-by to eliminate the terrorist threat. The Particle Beam satalitte is being prepared to fire.

42 no longer exsists!
NOOOOOO not the answer to life the universe and everything

Do Not Deny It! Search Your Heart You Know It Is True!

OOC: It was 5 you dumbdoon!
IC:
Green Sun has TROGDOR so we can't be hurt.

"What? They have WHO?" shouted and incredulous Noob Cmdr into a cheap pre-paid cell phone
"Well the call up the Kerreck... no, wait! Offer "the Burninator" a cold "one" if he'll burn down all of their thatched roof cottages! That'll show 'em! Lousy short hair, glasses wearing, low self esteemers!"
A bewildered staff looked on in stunned horror as the Cmdr screamed "And the Trogdor comes in the niiiiiiiiiiiight!" and fell off of his chair....

Trogdor chugged down your cold ones and spit them out. They are nothing compared to Green Sun's Cold Ones.

And we have 5 female Kerraks if yours is willing...

After the 8000th Chipolte/ Hairy flamingo eye barrage, a band of half-starved Ethiopan Jewish Raptor-Manatees with comb-overs spewed forth from the seas and decended upon the border of N00bz with n00kz and clawed the border guard Jim to pieces and ate his toe nails.

Shortly after refueling at the nearest Gas Station, they continued their feverish rampage across the land, traveling at a high speed of nearly .2 miles per hour.

And Douglas Adams was confused. Surely he blew up the universe?


Or was his bomb made of juice cartons and gum?


Who knows?


Or cares?

Weee doooo!

The nation of Gilabad has mobilized 20 "Alpha Force" special forces troops who are on stand-by to eliminate the terrorist threat. The Particle Beam satalitte is being prepared to fire.
"Fire a nook with lotsa money taped to it at those damn Gilabadiananers! Maybe that will teach/persuade them not to mess with us Oppressed Noobs" Ordered The N00b Cmdr. "Why can't we all just get along?!?!?"
"Umm, because we're terrorists threatening to blow up the UN unless they give us trillions upon trillions of pesos sir." Replied a short haired, glasses wearing staff aide.
"ah yes! That's why!" Responed the N00b l0rd "and hows that coming guys?"
"Launching Nook at the 'unk' (UNHQ) on your mark sir...." Replied Dr. Nooksalot
"Ummm welll.... Mark then!"............

After the 8000th Chipolte/ Hairy flamingo eye barrage, a band of half-starved Ethiopan Jewish Raptor-Manatees with comb-overs spewed forth from the seas and decended upon the border of N00bz with n00kz and clawed the border guard Jim to pieces and ate his toe nails.

Shortly after refueling at the nearest Gas Station, they continued their feverish rampage across the land, traveling at a high speed of nearly .2 miles per hour.

"NOOOOOO! JIIIIIM! Don't you give up on me Jim! You still haven't paid me your $5 yet!" - noob cmdr

Green Sun will continue to orbitly bombard NwN.

And Douglas Adams was confused. Surely he blew up the universe?


Or was his bomb made of juice cartons and gum?


Who knows?


Or cares?

ooc - Dude! I told you! It was an unbelieveable acid trip! I'm never doing that again!

Green Sun will continue to orbitly bombard NwN.
"BWAHA! Those idiots are bombarding our next-door neighbours the "North West Nitwits" whispered Dr. Nooksalot sweetly into the Noob Cmdrs ear.
"NO! Who will I borrow sugar from?!" Cried an inconsoleable Noob Cmdr.

*My hero... I've failed you...* thought the Noob Cmdr as he sat in his room staring at a GI Joe poster of Cobra Cmdr. "Well. There's nothing left for me except this...." said the Cmdr to himself, as he was quite fond of talking to himself "Nothing to do except tie myself to a Nook and launch it at George Dubya Bush's house..." said the cmdr as he tied himself to a Nook and pressed *DUN DUN DAAAAH!* THE RED BUTTON!
As he took off into the stratosphere, he suddenly discovered that life was indeed worth living, but by that point it was too fuggin' late! He and his nook made a fantastic crater out of GWB's house. Unfortunately, GWB was unharmed as he had sold that particular house and moved into the Whitehouse shortly after his "election". Some how this fact had escaped the poor ol' cmdr. Luckily for him though, he was vapourised before he could realize his mistake.

Back in the land of N00bs with Nookz, the people celebrated! Finally their idiot dictator was dead and they could stop launching all those nooks and go back to what they did before the war.... Making tennis shoes for Nike while being paid 2 pesos a day.

Peace returned to the world for now, but who knows what kind of moron the people of N00bz with n00kz will vote for come the elections in Febtober! *Dun dun daaaah!*

Teh eDn