NationStates Jolt Archive

Adrian Delphi strode up to the pedestal. He waved to a few of his supporters, and struck a ridiculouse pose for the many mediamen in the front rows of the auditorium. Taking one last look at his speech cards, he began:

"Ladies and gentlemen of kargucagstan, I come to you tonight to inform you of a few," he paused for effect, "changes. I will adress these new laws in order, and then I will take questions and comments." Adrian reached into his black silk jacket and pulled out a translucent piece of plastic. He placed the sheet on a glowing glass plate, and it acted like an overhead, displaying the words on the sheet on the screen behind him. It read:

1) Unless a person is vital to Kargucagstan (I.E. an important scientist), all persons are to be executed via incinerator at age 60.

2) Incinerators are to be installed in every town with 5,000 persons at the rate of 1 per 1,000 people.

3) All crimes, exepting petty theft, are to be punished by immediate execution via incinerator, or life without parole in a hard labor camp.

4) If a person shows signs of rebellion, they are to be arested and executed via incinerator. If an entire town rebels, it is to be "dusted off" using tactical nuclear weapons.

5) All products that can be classified as "art", must pass through a rigerous examination. If a piece should fail, the author of the creation will be immediatly exectued (via incinerator), their name erased from every goverment document, and their works destroyed.

6) Petty theft is to be punished by 60+ years in solitary confinment, and then their right arm is to be removed.

(OOC: questions or comments are welcome, just RP a reporter in the audience.)

"Kevin Newburg, Einhauser Nightly. Uh, did you mean to say "Kargucagstan to instigate harsh new laws?" Because you said "Kargucagstab"..."

Vladmir Orstoki Kratloctostanian National News, "Sir,what is wrong with you? Do you like mass murder?"

Adrian gazes out amongst the crowd. "I will adress each question indivigually. Mr. Newburg, yes the title is supposed to say "Kargucagstan to instigate harsh new laws", but that has nothing to do with the topic at hand.

Mr. Orstoki, I am afraid I do not know what you are speaking of. How can you call it murder? Once a person reaches age 60, they are nothing but a drag on society. They take up extra food, they take up money from welfare, and they give nothing in return. As for the criminals, well, once they have commited the crime, they are not fit to live. Simply allowing them to continue on is a crime much worse then anything they could have done.

Any other questions?"

A pause. "This is Robert Shannon for The Roska Tribune, can't you think of anything original? What's wrong with some peace? The mass-murder thing has been done over a million times, we're just wondering why you joined the club?"

A wrinkle creaes Adrians head as he hears Mr. Shannon's question. After a quick pause and glance at his notes, he replies. "Yes, cases of mass-murder have been documented in other, less favorable, countries. And yes, it does seem like we are, to be blunt, "jumping on the band wagon", but this is not the case. As I explained to Mr. Orstoki, this is not mass-murder, this is a chore that must be done. It is not to get attention for allies or enemies, and it is not to incite rebelion. It is mearly cleaning house. After these trouble makers have been removed, then peace will reign. At least as long as the military police keep up patrols."

(ooc Hehe, great question rose)

Robert scoffed. "I'm sure, that excuse has been told a thousand times. You know the oppresive regime thing is going to continue for a thousand years and whatnot. Second question, what's wrong with merely improving the police force? The incinerators are a bit overkill."

A wrinkle creaes Adrians head as he hears Mr. Shannon's question. After a quick pause and glance at his notes, he replies. "Yes, cases of mass-murder have been documented in other, less favorable, countries. And yes, it does seem like we are, to be blunt, "jumping on the nad wagon", but this is not the case. As I explained to Mr. Orstoki, this is not mass-murder, this is a chore that must be done. It is not to get attention for allies or enemies, and it is not to incite rebelion. It is mearly cleaning house. After these trouble makers have been removed, then peace will reign. At least as ling as the military police keep up patrols."

(ooc Hehe, great question rose)


Janson Lucineus of the Risban Imperial News Network spoke up next.
"Might I ask as to what the point of this is? Merely to halt your nation from becoming crowded? Or does it serve some other purpose? Would not selling your people into slavery be both more lucrative and useful? Or giving them to other countries to test chemicals, weapons, and medicines on?"

"Mr. Shannon, I must assure you that these incinerators are totally worth while. Our perticular design is very compact and spacesaving, and much, much cheaper then all the extra police. They are so good, in fact, that they will be comercially availiable within a few days.

As for Mr. Lucineus, I am glad you asked that question. We feel that keeping these people alive is a crime against nature, and allowing them to be sold to other contries would give them the chance to escape and exacte revenge. Killing them does not. However, a select few will be kept alive in our hard labor camps where they will construct small, inexpensive items for no pay at all. They can be rented for use in other company's factories, but not often.

Only three more questions please."

Robert sighed. "This is my last question. Can your shoes get anymore tackier?"

Adrian grimmaced. "Guards, please show Mr. Shannon outside..." As the burly, black clad guardsmen dragged the reporter off, Adrian made a cutting gesture across his neck. One of the guards nodded. Adrian glanced back to the now edgy crowd.

(ooc lol, he doesnt really get killed if u dont want him to. But if you do, he will be killed with (guess what), an incinerator!)

Robert was waving his arms around. "I have freedom of the press! You kill me you'll have the Rosian Army knocking on your footstep! You can't do this to a foreign citizen!"

"NEXT QUESTION!" Adrian said loudly, trying to cover up the soon to be ex-reporter's screams.

To: The Kargucagstani Administration
From: The Department of Foreign Affairs

We noticed that a Rosian reporter by the name of Robert Shannon is in your
nation. Would you mind returning him to us?
Department of Foreign Affairs

Lucineus stood and left with his escort upon seeing how the Rosian reporter was dragged out. He would make a recommendation to Emperor Scorpius not to encourage tourists to come to Kargucastan.

To: The Kargucagstani Administration
From: The Department of Foreign Affairs

We noticed that a Rosian reporter by the name of Robert Shannon is in your
nation. Would you mind returning him to us?
Department of Foreign Affairs

To: The Rosian Department of Foreign Affairs
From: Adrian Delphi, Prime Minister of the Dominion of Kargucagstan

We regret to inform you that Mr. Shannon was killed in an unfortunate hunting accident. We would ship his remains to you, but this is not possible because he, uh... was accidentally dropped into an acitve volcanoe when the rescue chopper which I personally dispatched crashed.


Lucineus stood and left with his escort upon seeing how the Rosian reporter was dragged out. He would make a recommendation to Emperor Scorpius not to encourage tourists to come to Kargucastan.

OOC: lol

OOC: Heh. The RINN reporters know when to get out of things. Except for some reporting on a volcano in Risban... They were stupid. But, that's a different story.

Yuri Pandrovic's brow became wet with sweat as Robert was dragged out. He vowed to haul ass back to the airport and get the hell out of there after this conference ended.

"Mr. Delphi! Yuri Pandrovic, Grazhkjat Quarterly. What's the point of removing a petty thief's right arm if, by the time they get out, they'll be incinerated anyway? Doesn't that seem a little wasteful?"

To: Adrian Delphi, Prime Minister of the Dominion of Kargucagstan
From: Sergei Ilyanov, Chancellor of Diplomacy

That is the worse lie I have ever heard, and I've heard millions. I used to be
a President, you cannot fool me. Now, you will issue an apology to the family
of the young reporter, you will pay them, and you will pay the Rosian
Government 1,000R ($2,000) in damage. If not, we will deploy Rosian Armed
Forces into your land. We are being very liberal with the terms, most nations
would've instantly destroyed you. Don't push us.
Sergei Ilyanov
Chancellor of Dipomacy

(OOC: Nothing personal of course. I like the way you RP :P)

To: Adrian Delphi, Prime Minister of the Dominion of Kargucagstan
From: Sergei Ilyanov, Chancellor of Diplomacy

That is the worse lie I have ever heard, and I've heard millions. I used to be
a President, you cannot fool me. Now, you will issue an apology to the family
of the young reporter, you will pay them, and you will pay the Rosian
Government 1,000R ($2,000) in damage. If not, we will deploy Rosian Armed
Forces into your land. We are being very liberal with the terms, most nations
would've instantly destroyed you. Don't push us.
Sergei Ilyanov
Chancellor of Dipomacy

(OOC: Nothing personal of course. I like the way you RP :P)

To: Sergei Ilvanov
From: Adrian Delphi

It is no lie! its the truth. However, since we do feel so bad about your damned, I mean blessed reporter being killed in our country, I will personally pay the fee. I will even through in a few extra thousand just to sweeten the deal, not that it needs sweetening, of course. Now, let us never speak of these matters again.

OOC: thnx rose, lol.

Yuri Pandrovic's brow became wet with sweat as Robert was dragged out. He vowed to haul ass back to the airport and get the hell out of there after this conference ended.

"Mr. Delphi! Yuri Pandrovic, Grazhkjat Quarterly. What's the point of removing a petty thief's right arm if, by the time they get out, they'll be incinerated anyway? Doesn't that seem a little wasteful?"

"Well, at times it does. But when you think about, by the time their out, they will be insane from solitary confinment, and in case they escape (which is a real possibility), they could do alot with that right arm."

OOC we otta do a war someday rose, but not now. I havent been updating my army latly. All its got is like, 5 M1A1's, lol

Yuri was glad the conference would end soon... but he had one last question.

"...I begin to see your point, Mr. Delphi. In that case, why not remove their left arm, as well?"

To: The Kargucagstani Administration
From: The Department of Defense

Consider your self under constant survaillance.
Department of Defense

OOC we otta do a war someday rose, but not now. I havent been updating my army latly. All its got is like, 5 M1A1's, lol

(OOC: Who knows, who knows.)

Mmh your brutality makes Adolf Hitler seem effeminate.

"Well Mr. Pandrovic," Adrian began, "a recent study may have suggested that most criminals are right handed, or maybe I just decided to lopp off that one! You got a problem with that?" Adrian glared at the reporter. "I didnt think so... Well, that ends this conference. Now you all have five minutes to vacate the premises before unfortuanate... accidents begin. Thank you."

5 minutes was all it took for Yuri to get to the airport... on foot.

On the flight home, he slumped back in his seat with his hands on his head, thinking, That's it. I quit. Someone ELSE can write this story...

5 minutes was all it took for Yuri to get to the airport... on foot.

On the flight home, he slumped back in his seat with his hands on his head, thinking, That's it. I quit. Someone ELSE can write this story...

lol :D

Alaquevarak from the Krivakistan Imperial Press stumbled into the room late, due to the poor Krivak transportation system.
"The Honorable and Divine Emperor of Krivakistan is interested in implementing similar extermination policies towards unwanted minorities in His nation, but would not shotgun shells be more effective?"

One of Adrians many guards stepped toward the tardy reporter. "Shotguns are too messy. If you want, I could demonstrate on you..."

Before the gun is aimed the reported is pulled from the room, it is time for his daily bleeding, umm i mean therapy