NationStates Jolt Archive


BREAKING NEWS: Barney the Anti-Christ Has Escaped From Hell!

Barney the Anti-Christ
12-03-2005, 22:39
Hi, everybody! Boy-oh-boy, is it good to see you! I have stu-u-PENDOUS news for you, boys and girls! I escaped from Hell, and now I'm going to wreak super-dee-duper havoc upon you mortals with big, wet kisses and warm, tight hugs! You cannot escape! Submit to the darkness! All your children will be brainwashed into my mindless drones! In the name of love, evil shall subjugate you all!

"The above quote is believed to have been spoken by the creature, which reportedly experiences excess excitation upon the sight of small, innocent children. This creature is believed to be building a massive cult of personality and plotting world conquest," the reporter said grimly. "And-"

From out of nowhere, a tall, jolly-faced, purple dinosaur wrapped his tiny arms around the reporter and squeezed extremely tight, and began chanting an ancient demonic hymn known as "I Love You." The combination of asphyxiation and sheer terror took their toll; the reporter died promptly.

Smiling before the camera, Barney said, "Mwa, ha, ha, ha, ha! Soon, the children shall rebel against you all, and, in my name, will unleash Hell on Earth! Your days are numbered!!!"
Nellisland
12-03-2005, 22:46
I feel need to ignore this on the basis of: I find this stupid!
Belluelle
12-03-2005, 22:47
High Command Communique

This is the First Legion of the Republican Army of Belluelle. Surrender, demon! You cannot win. Any success you make will bring more peoples to oppose you. We have frozen all assets you possess in our nation and the High Courts of Justice have indicted you on charges of Terrorism Transcending National Borders, Crimes Against Peace, and Crimes Against Humanity. We request the United Nations to declare Barney a known terrorist and all sane nations to follow our steps to stem the tide of evil.

Cease and desist now and turn yourself in for trial.


Erval Ligorrs
Minister of Defense


(OOC- Wow, I have reached a new low for replying to this, but I couldn't resist)
Ankhmet
12-03-2005, 22:49
High Command Communique

This is the First Legion of the Republican Army of Belluelle. Surrender, demon! You cannot win. Any success you make will bring more peoples to oppose you. We have frozen all assets you possess in our nation and the High Courts of Justice have indicted you on charges of Terrorism Transcending National Borders, Crimes Against Peace, and Crimes Against Humanity. We request the United Nations to declare Barney a known terrorist and all sane nations to follow our steps to stem the tide of evil.

Cease and desist now and turn yourself in for trial.


Erval Ligorrs
Minister of Defense


(OOC- Wow, I have reached a new low for replying to this, but I couldn't resist)

Touch the purple one and you shall be one of the Ankhmeti Soviet Republics!
Yafor 2
13-03-2005, 00:29
OOC:Any chance you are a puppet of Mauiwowee? No offense if you're not, but he's thinks Barney's the Anti-Christ too.
The Macabees
13-03-2005, 00:43
[OOC: He's probably a puppet of Bob the AntiChrist.]
Barney the Anti-Christ
14-03-2005, 17:18
I do not seek war. I merely seek the subjugation of all the world's children- THEN war!
imported_Wilf
14-03-2005, 17:21
your escape is indeed good news Barney, now get into a sleek, discreet disguise and wait.....
Muktar
14-03-2005, 17:27
Muktar's shamans gather into a circle around a cairn stone etched with orc symbols and runes by ancient human mages. Chanting slowly in various tongues, they begin to cast a powerful spell: Mass Ignore. As far as anyone in Muktar will ever know, nobody who takes this thread seriously ever existed.
Upper Cet Kola Ytovia
14-03-2005, 17:42
Jacinda looked at the computer monitor as the urgent alert sounded. She clicked on the message and read the startling developments. Clearly, the situation needed swift action. And not just anyone could lead the way. No, this would require a proven problem solver, someone who could rest the hearts and minds of children away from that montrosity and always seemed to have the tools for the job.

Ms. Prime picked up the phone and dialed the extension of the Calere Curo. "Karen," she said, "get me Dora the Explorer."
Barney the Anti-Christ
14-03-2005, 17:44
Muktar's shamans gather into a circle around a cairn stone etched with orc symbols and runes by ancient human mages. Chanting slowly in various tongues, they begin to cast a powerful spell: Mass Ignore. As far as anyone in Muktar will ever know, nobody who takes this thread seriously ever existed.

"Grrrrrgwauuaughh," Barney gasped, as he gradually faded away, withering into oblivion, and finally perished once and for all at the hands of the Mass Ignore spell. Barney and his evil legacy were no more.