NationStates Jolt Archive

After several months of painstaking searching, looking through every nook and cranny, and every nation, disputed territory, and area of the world, the communist propagandist Noam Chomsky- a dangerous, radical revolutionary whose putrid lies damage anticommunist morale and give strength to the spread of the Marxist plague- has been located. He was immediately shackled, tranquilized, bound, gagged, hauled into a black plane, and flown to Pahlavistan, where the Shah himself will execute him before a crowd of millions.

If anyone wants to send reporters to cover this historic event, they may do so.

Are there no leftists who are horrified by this?

-Shah Sassan Pahlavi

ooc: Damned right!

ic:

You evidently do not have the right Chomsky. The real Chomsky is alive and well in Momanguise, and he is in excellent health.

ooc: Damned right!

ic:

You evidently do not have the right Chomsky. The real Chomsky is alive and well in Momanguise, and he is in excellent health.

No, we have the real Chomsky. DNA testing has confirmed this. You have a fraud. Anyway, the real Chomsky will die tonight...very, very, very, very, very painfully, I might add.

-Shah Sassan Pahlavi

How shall we execute him? We want him to suffer as much as possible.

Which is more important his death as of tonight or that he suffers?

Which is more important his death as of tonight or that he suffers?

Both.

Does the Shah wish to preform the torture or just the execution?

Imperial response

The Empire of Cotland strongly detest the persecution of Noam Chomsky, and respectfully asks that you hand him over to Cotland or some other nation. If not, we may be forced to take actions against your leaders.

Regards,
Imperial Government of Cotland

Does the Shah wish to preform the torture or just the execution?

Both.

Imperial response

The Empire of Cotland strongly detest the persecution of Noam Chomsky, and respectfully asks that you hand him over to Cotland or some other nation. If not, we may be forced to take actions against your leaders.

Regards,
Imperial Government of Cotland

My, my, your nation has a high affinity and unbridled love for criminals, does it not? Why else would you shudder at the thought of the death of a Marxist weasel like Chomsky?

-Shah Sassan Pahlavi

We are merely ensuring that he gets a fair trial. We are not friendly against criminals, on the contrary. And your nation stands a high chance of getting a cruise missile or ten against your head of government...

Regards,
Imperial Government of Cotland

Imperial response

The Empire of Cotland strongly detest the persecution of Noam Chomsky, and respectfully asks that you hand him over to Cotland or some other nation. If not, we may be forced to take actions against your leaders.

Regards,
Imperial Government of Cotland
The Roman Empire stands behind its ally Cotland.

No, we have the real Chomsky. DNA testing has confirmed this. You have a fraud. Anyway, the real Chomsky will die tonight...very, very, very, very, very painfully, I might add.

-Shah Sassan Pahlavi


I am afraid you have been misled sir. We have the real Noam Chomsky. DNA testing, character analysis tests and an examination of a certain tattoo in a certain sensitive area has confirmed all of this. If it pleases you he will give a statement asserting that he is alive and well, and most certainly free.

Send him here, we will take him!

Torture Ideas.
1. A. Flay areas of skin from sensitive areas on the body
B. Coat flayed areas in salt or dirt
C. Wash with hydrogen peroxide
2. A. Slash numerous small cuts into the victem
B. Coat cut areas in salt or dirt
C. Wash with hydrogen peroxide
3. A. File away toes, ears, fingers ect.
4. A. Add gasoline to hair
B. Light
5. A. Cut belly open
B. Drip wax or lead into opening.

The Roman Empire stands behind its ally Cotland.

The Empire of Cotland thanks the Roman Empire for its support.

Regards,
Imperial Government of Cotland

Torture Ideas.
1. A. Flay areas of skin from sensitive areas on the body
B. Coat flayed areas in salt or dirt
C. Wash with hydrogen peroxide
2. A. Slash numerous small cuts into the victem
B. Coat cut areas in salt or dirt
C. Wash with hydrogen peroxide
3. A. File away toes, ears, fingers ect.
4. A. Add gasoline to hair
B. Light
5. A. Cut belly open
B. Drip wax or lead into opening.

These suggestions are useless, as Noam Chomsky is in Momanguise.

Shah, it is here by clear the only solution in stopping you from such idiocy is by means of war. Yet, we still withdraw our declaration of war for we will wait for the right time. We will give you untill tonight to release all Communists, Feminists and any other prisoners you may have.

-Kaiser Rüdolf

Then they can do it to the guy they say is Noam.

A Noam, perhaps, but most certainly not the Noam. The Noam is living in an appartment in Sangradia and enjoys gardening and atonal experimental music.

OOC: Dude, listen, a Mar 05'er can't just come into this forum with barely 50 posts and say they have a real existingl Noam Chomsky and they are going to execute him.

And wait, even if he was in my nation or Momanguises, how have you got there? How have a Mar 05's special forces infiltrated everywhere in the world to find Noam Chomsky when there are alot more influencial than doing so to piss off left wingers?

Have a little sense.

ooc: Heh, I know that. I'm just poking fun at the whole idea of using "real world" characters in rp's. It is perhaps the most flawed concept that I've encountered in this game.

OOC: agreed. I accepted it when RB did it because RB is cool, and I didn't have a pounding fever back then.

After several months of painstaking searching, looking through every nook and cranny, and every nation, disputed territory, and area of the world, the communist propagandist Noam Chomsky- a dangerous, radical revolutionary whose putrid lies damage anticommunist morale and give strength to the spread of the Marxist plague- has been located. He was immediately shackled, tranquilized, bound, gagged, hauled into a black plane, and flown to Pahlavistan, where the Shah himself will execute him before a crowd of millions.
Groan for post-number increase.

I am afraid you have been misled sir. We have the real Noam Chomsky. DNA testing, character analysis tests and an examination of a certain tattoo in a certain sensitive area has confirmed all of this. If it pleases you he will give a statement asserting that he is alive and well, and most certainly free.

(OOC: Please, for the sake of RP, assume I have the real Chomsky. Thank you.)

Should you indeed have the proper Noam Chomsky, and proceed to execute him, we are prepared to seek every available course of action, including military.

Should you indeed have the proper Noam Chomsky, and proceed to execute him, we are prepared to seek every available course of action, including military.

Your idle threats do not frighten us. Be gone, scion of Angra Mainyu!

-Shah Sassan Pahlavi

ooc: Im far to lazy to pursue this, and its just nonsense. I will go along with what Hogsweat said.

OOC: What's the point to these threads? Real world people dont have any bearing on NS RP.

The Community of St Georges Hill would like to point out that Noam Chomsky is not a Marxist, nor a communist and so all charges against him should be dropped and he should be allowed to continue his important work monitoring the world's media.
The Community of St Georges Hill also wishes to advise that Noam Chomsky has been awarded the coveted St Georges' Dragon prize for compassion and tireless work on behalf of oppressed and disempowered person's around the world.
He has been invited to attend a ceremony to accept the prize in 3 days time. If he is unable to do so because of your actions then we will set the dragons loose on you!

After several months of painstaking searching, looking through every nook and cranny, and every nation, disputed territory, and area of the world, the communist propagandist Noam Chomsky- a dangerous, radical revolutionary whose putrid lies damage anticommunist morale and give strength to the spread of the Marxist plague- has been located. He was immediately shackled, tranquilized, bound, gagged, hauled into a black plane, and flown to Pahlavistan, where the Shah himself will execute him before a crowd of millions.

Dear Chickenshit Fascists:
Ahh, proof the pen is mightier than the sword. And once he's gone so publicly and gruesomely, the power of his works will increase tenfold for his martyrdom. Is it too late to change my vote?
-The Democratic Republic of Postmenapausal Mothers

Dear Chickenshit Fascists:
Ahh, proof the pen is mightier than the sword. And once he's gone so publicly and gruesomely, the power of his works will increase tenfold for his martyrdom. Is it too late to change my vote?
-The Democratic Republic of Postmenapausal Mothers

You fucking morons, despising Marxist-Leninist gangsterism does not make one a fascist! Go spread your pro-Angra Mainyu lies elsewhere, you vile demons!

-Shah Sassan Pahlavi

Raijin Dekker, Commander of Krioval, surveyed the target for the third time. Grinning evilly, he pressed the red button. Orbital missile platforms opened fire on the nation below, a combination of conventional explosive devices and molecular dissociators shredding the once-proud capital of Pahlavistan. He watched with giddy satisfaction as the Shah's body slowly dematerialized, finally exploding into a red haze. As his laughter rose through the building, a single voice interrupted his moment of total triumph.

"Raijin," Kiv screamed. "Turn off the damn video games and come to bed! It's two in the morning!"

Skittletopia has decided to give Noam Chomsky Skittletopian National Status.

We implore the government of Pahlavistan to hand over Noam in the name of Freedom of Political Discourse, Or risk the deployment of Skittletopian Naval, Air and Ground forces in order to free our citizen.

You fucking morons, despising Marxist-Leninist gangsterism does not make one a fascist! Go spread your pro-Angra Mainyu lies elsewhere, you vile demons!

-Shah Sassan Pahlavi

What is this "Angra Mainyu" of which you speak of so freely?

What is this "Angra Mainyu" of which you speak of so freely?

(OOC: In the Zoroastrian religion, Ahura Mazda is the god who created the universe, and Angra Mainyu is his evil twin brother.)

From: The Most Honorable Lady Chief Justice Sara Povikes, Chief Justice of the High Courts of Belluelle
To: Those Insane, Ignorant, Intolerant Fascists

The Holy Republic of Belluelle officially condemns your actions and if you decide to go through with your insane plot, we will stand by those nations who have already threatened you with military action. Don't worry, Noam, we don't leave a man behind!

From: The Most Honorable Lady Chief Justice Sara Povikes, Chief Justice of the High Courts of Belluelle
To: Those Insane, Ignorant, Intolerant Fascists

The Holy Republic of Belluelle officially condemns your actions and if you decide to go through with your insane plot, we will stand by those nations who have already threatened you with military action. Don't worry, Noam, we don't leave a man behind!

"Don't worry," indeed. Rest assured, Noam, you will soon decay in Hell, where none of your Marxist-Leninist, Angra Mainyu ass-kissing scum friends can save you.

-Shah Sassan Pahlavi

The only proper torture suitable for this criminal mastermind is forced readings of Ayn Rand. Or some other faux libertarian writer incapable of stringing two thoughts together... ;)

Official Imperial Response

If the leftist fools truley wish for the nation of Pahlavistan to deport the marxist heretic, they are most welcome to send him to Doomingsland. After all, everyone knows how much we love communists.

Official Imperial Response

If the leftist fools truley wish for the nation of Pahlavistan to deport the marxist heretic, they are most welcome to send him to Doomingsland. After all, everyone knows how much we love communists.

Henceforth, Noam Chomsky will be exiled to Doomingsland.

-Shah Sassan Pahlavi

Official Imperial Response

We accept your magnanimous offer. A cargo aircraft with a fighter escort is on its way to pick up Chomsky.

Official Imperial Response

We accept your magnanimous offer. A cargo aircraft with a fighter escort is on its way to pick up Chomsky.

Official Imperial Response

We accept your magnanimous offer. A cargo aircraft with a fighter escort is on its way to pick up Chomsky.

Official Imperial Response

We accept your magnanimous offer. A cargo aircraft with a fighter escort is on its way to pick up Chomsky.

Make sure he suff- er, make sure he enjoys himself.

-Shah Sassan Pahlavi

(OOC: Could you execute him?)

Be warned - Doomingsland's reputation for intolerance of dissent against market economics is well known. Any damage done to Chomsky's person will result in immediate military action by Deleuze.

Be warned - Doomingsland's reputation for intolerance of dissent against market economics is well known. Any damage done to Chomsky's person will result in immediate military action by Deleuze.

I laugh at your foolishness. Doomingsland would crush you like a cockroach.

-Shah Sassan Pahlavi

Do not be so confident. Money cannot buy everything. A sense of honor, duty, and the motivation that comes with it lacks in such market minded nations. You have been warned.

We want him dead, plain and simple.

-Shah Khosru III

Do not be so confident. Money cannot buy everything. A sense of honor, duty, and the motivation that comes with it lacks in such market minded nations. You have been warned.
Official Imperial Response

Bold words from a nation incapable of affording a single decent modern aircraft. What do you plan to do, invade in rowboats? Or would you prefer that we turn your insignificant mud hole with a few people into an insignificant mud hole with no people? Decisions decisions...

Make sure he suff- er, make sure he enjoys himself.

-Shah Sassan Pahlavi

(OOC: Could you execute him?)
OOC:This will be a most entertaining execution, I promise you :)

AP - Noam Chomsky has been rescued from the Doomingsland military plane he was being held on and spirited away by an unknown force to an undisclosed location. The Doomingsland military escorts were shot down by missiles fired from the decks of ancient prop planes flying at low altitudes, so insignificant as to be ignored by the Doomingsland pilots. A squadron of these unmarked aircraft forced the transport to land, and took Mr. Chomsky. The nationality of these planes is unknown, but given the recent belligerant words exchanged between Deleuze and Doomingsland, many observers point to the former as the prime suspect in the exchange. The Deleuzan government is expected to issue a press release within the hour.

OOC:Godmod, you can't just announce other people's losses. IGNORED.

AP - Noam Chomsky has been rescued from the Doomingsland military plane he was being held on and spirited away by an unknown force to an undisclosed location. The Doomingsland military escorts were shot down by missiles fired from the decks of ancient prop planes flying at low altitudes, so insignificant as to be ignored by the Doomingsland pilots. A squadron of these unmarked aircraft forced the transport to land, and took Mr. Chomsky. The nationality of these planes is unknown, but given the recent belligerant words exchanged between Deleuze and Doomingsland, many observers point to the former as the prime suspect in the exchange. The Deleuzan government is expected to issue a press release within the hour.

Ignored. Godmod/e.

:rolleyes:

OOC - Boring! Things like that are how the whole thread got started in the first place.

OOC:Right, you obviously don't know how to RP. Anyhow, execution post coming sometime tommorow, when I have time.

OOC-Don't want to ruin this thread anymore arguing over this, so this'll be my last. I know that technically you can only initiate your actions and not control the results, but it was more interesting this way, the "rules" got in the way of something that could make the event more interesting. Anyone seriously want to respond to this, tg me as anyone who still wants to enjoy this threat should be able to.

OOC - Lame, why did you have to get involved Doom. I was going to bomb the shit out of this guy.. *sulks* stop ruining my plans!

But what's the point? I have the real Chomsky.

But what's the point? I have the real Chomsky.

As I said, please, for the sake of RP, assume I have (or rather had, Doomingsland now has) the real Chomsky.

The Dominion of Karmanyaka bids you to refrain from this bizarre charade.

- The Council of Knights,

on behalf of Lord Tengil Richard Loke of the Dominion of Karmanyaka

ICS Grounded (CG-66), cruising 40 nautical miles off Pahlavistan

The ICS Grounded was a Ticonderoga class guided missile cruiser, currently carrying a total of 12 cruise missiles aimed at government buildings in Pahlavistans capitol. Unless Noam Chomsky was released, the Grounded woud fire its missiles and get the hell out of there. As a backup, two Virginia class SSNs cruised 12 nautical miles to her starboard and port sides, but this was unknown to any potential people who might be monitoring the Grounded.

*****

- Begin message -

TO: ICS Grounded CG-66
FROM: CHC

1. Fire missiles at target package Golf
2. Get the hell out of there
3. Backup in place as planned

CINC-LANT sends

- End message -

*****

The Grounded acknowledged the message and fired off its twelve Pole-axe (Tomahawk equvalent) cruise missiles before increasing speed to 30 knots and sailing for home. Meanwhile the missiles flew straight for their targets making Mach 2.5, 20 meters above ground.

The following is an official response from the Calere of the Dominion of Upper Cet Kola Ytovia:

Meh.

As I said, please, for the sake of RP, assume I have (or rather had, Doomingsland now has) the real Chomsky.

ooc: Sorry, but I won't, for the following reasons.

1) First, I've only said I have Chomsky. I haven't proved it.

2) You can't just say "I have Noam Chomsky". It beggers belief. It is first of all Godmodding of the highest order, and it's also extremely unfair on people who actually like Noam Chomsky, like myself. Noam sent me an e-mail, therefore he is teh r0x0rs, and I will not let him die.

ICS Grounded (CG-66), cruising 40 nautical miles off Pahlavistan

The ICS Grounded was a Ticonderoga class guided missile cruiser, currently carrying a total of 12 cruise missiles aimed at government buildings in Pahlavistans capitol. Unless Noam Chomsky was released, the Grounded woud fire its missiles and get the hell out of there. As a backup, two Virginia class SSNs cruised 12 nautical miles to her starboard and port sides, but this was unknown to any potential people who might be monitoring the Grounded.

*****

- Begin message -

TO: ICS Grounded CG-66
FROM: CHC

1. Fire missiles at target package Golf
2. Get the hell out of there
3. Backup in place as planned

CINC-LANT sends

- End message -

*****

The Grounded acknowledged the message and fired off its twelve Pole-axe (Tomahawk equvalent) cruise missiles before increasing speed to 30 knots and sailing for home. Meanwhile the missiles flew straight for their targets making Mach 2.5, 20 meters above ground.
OOC:You realize he handed Chomsky over to me, right?

OOC:You realize he handed Chomsky over to me, right?
ooc: Sure I do. This is just to punish him for doing that...

(Secret IC):

To Cotland:

-----Encryption MAX-----

If you need our help, feel free to call on us, but it is our hope that war can be avoided.

-----End Encryption------

(IC):

To Doomingsland:

We request talks regarding the status of Noam Chomsky with your nation. We are deeply concerned that Chomsky will not get a fair trial and that he is being executed unjustly. We are not interested in war and would like to resolve this diplomatically.

Signed,
Rodin Hartian,
293rd Emperor of Rome,
March 11, MMV

Official Imperial Response

The guilt of Chomsky has already been confirmed, he merely awaits final judgement. However, we have no quarrel with you, and would be willing to negotiate. One thing truley bothers us, however: how could a Roman support such weaklings?