NationStates Jolt Archive

Here is where members of the Fruit Pickers of Evil can go to wage war against each other and our sworn enemies, The Allied Lands of Umbrelli.

Right, so Umbrelli is saying they're located just to the south of us. :sniper:
That makes it rather convienent for us to invade, and stage a hostile takeover. All discussion about our military strengths should take place via telegrams, so that we can keep Umbrelli unaware of that part.

We have the Cyborg Monkies on our side!

Let the same rules apply to us, Umbrellians... remember that anything said by a rival government is not to be trusted in any way, shape or form, and that the destructive powers of our armies will obliterate the competition.

Let it be known that the act of war against this group of allied nations constitutes a retaliating counter-strike against the Fruitpickers of Evil, for their power is the weakest in the world. :mp5:

No mercy shall be taken against these invaders, and their supposedly superior armed forces.

Faceless assasins invited me to join to the lands of umbrelli. It gave me great pleasure to laugh in his face :D

So, have we officially declared war? If we strike now we have the advantage. The allied lands of Umbrelli are weak and we shall overcome them! :sniper: Anyways, stragetic disscousins shlal be done in telegrams, I agree to this procedure!

Long Live Fruit Pickers of Evil

Right, you Umbrellians should create your own forum, for your own discussions, or we could change the title of this one to include you. FRUIT PICKERS WILL TRIUMPH!

Pinecones, you have been invaded by an army of cyborg monkeys, nut-throwing squirrels, and psychiatrists, all from Fruit Pickers of Evil

Late last night 2,000 faceless assasins entered your country and are now causing udder havoc and instability in your nation. They used spikey pineapple chunks to spike their competition and pinecone grenades to destroy government buildings. And with low income tax rates on the other side, repairs seem unlikely in the near future. :mp5:

:sniper: What makes you think we have a low income tax? We know about your faceless assasins. The fact that we have no pineapples in our region made it slightly difficult for them. They have all been neutralized. I suggest you think about Pinecones.

An army of cyborg monkeys has flown over The Democratic Republic of Pineapple Chunk, dropping tons of pineapple chunks over the land.

cyborg monkey commander confirm targets neutralized.

They used spikey pineapple chunks to spike their competition and pinecone grenades to destroy government buildings. And with low income tax rates on the other side, repairs seem unlikely in the near future. :mp5:
A team of builders have been working overtime. Headquarters has been repaired, and all other buildings are nearly complete. HAHA!

Today, a group of armed forces drafted into military services by our government recieved orders to invade the nation of no sanity whatsoever. On my orders they will be seising key government buildings to destroy their goverment. The men are protected by a hybrid pineapple shell that can withstand everything, even nuclear strikes. Also today, bogainville was attacked by a nuclear missle, fueled by uranium made by bulldozing rainforest in eastern pineapple island. There is no offense that can beat our defense. Prepare to be conquered!!!!!

:gundge: :sniper: :mp5: :D

Pineapple chunk forces (the un graceful creatures they are) slip on leftover bannana peals from the cyborg monkies' lunch. The pineapple shell tumbles from the butterfinger hands of the pineapple forces and crushes 1/4 of the attacking forces. Meanwhile the nation of no sanity whatsoever received intelligence that there was an immenent attack, and had time to evacuate a fair sized chunk of their population.

The pineappple dropped on Pineapple Chunk had the national animal of Flippin L0s3er inserted into it. Anyone who ate or came into contact with it is infected. Have fun with the diarea

I hatth left my homeland, better known as The Allied Lands of Umbrelli. I hath left to avoid the war, which i no longer wish to be part of. Please accvept my reasons. I shall remain as an outsider untill i gain more power. then and only then will i rejoin ur pointless war. But, i will join which ever side that convinces me i should be on their side.

Well, we'd love to have the assasins. I suppose this means pineapple chunk can't send faceless assasins against us anymore. w00t!
Pinecones:
An army of cyborg monkeys, supported by psychiatrists and nut throwing squirrels, has just moved into your forested country. Only the squirrels aren't throwing nuts anymore, and the monkeys aren't throwing banana peels. Instead, they're both throwing napalm. BURN 'EM!

Once again the cyborg monkies are victorious. They have cleared an excellent field of fire for future assault teams. :sniper: So squirrels and psychiatrists: have fun! :sniper:

The attack on the pinecones has failed since my people don't eat fruits or veggies of any kind they didn't come in contact with the amoebas, the pinecones later wiped out the amoebas by sanitizing the whole country.

The attemp of sending cyborg monkeys and others has also failed when they crossed the border the pinecone's exteremly powerful defense system had everyone of them vaporized into nothingness.

As for the attacks on our "forests" ....What forests? Just so you know though my people have some things incommon with pinecones they are not 100% pinecones. Also if you look at my country it's barren so there are no forests at least none that you know of.

since you we all so generous to attempt to infect us with amoebas the pinecones repaid the debt by flying over your country and sprayed a newly genetically engineered virus (that multiplies and mutates like crazy) has infected all of the people in the "fruit pickers of evil" reigon.
They syptoms include: Headaches, dizziness, constant vomiting, frequent diarreheal, muscle cramps, abdominal cramps, rashes, fever soar throat, and pink eye as well as constipation. :gundge:

Sorry, your virus didn't work. We're protected against biological warfare. And i distinctly recall you telling me about your forests. You used to have "lush forests" but now you have a "barren, inhospitable landscape" as a result of our attack. anyway, how could your national animal be the squirrel if you didn't have trees.

Ahem i'm terribly sorry but you are quiet wrong my country was barren from the start hoever we do have forest but hidden ones that cannot be detected, and you never ever mentioned that your country was ever protected against biological warfare and it's hard for me to believe that you can protect yourself from something that just started to exist a few seconds ago and can mutate faster than the common cold.

I hope i have answered your "questions"

Update: The pinecones has successfully build a space station in space (that's currently orbiting the "planet" (it wasn't hard considering we're part alien) The space station has a protective forcefield and has 35 built in lasers and loaded with missles (of many varieties) and a very powerful secret weapon installed. The space station has a very powerful defense system and will vaporize anything going near it. The station will be lauching an attack on the :fruit pickers of evil" in exactly 2 hours and counting. Time 3:00.

Attack late due to technical difficulties so anyways....FIRE!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHahahahahahahahHAHAHAH! An attack has been initiated! A laser with a diameter of 3 miles was fired directly at the captial of "No sanity whatsoever" incinerating everything within it.

The pineapples that were fired via catapult into our land have been addressed, and mixed with pinecones, a regional commodity. They produced quite a healthy compost for the pineapple plantations. A peculiar action is happening though, near the nuclear uranium enrichment plant where the compost and radiation are mingling. Giant pineapple creatures (quite reminiscent of king kong, I might add) started sprouting and quickly growing into the beastly creatures they are. Anyway, they have entered the cyborg monkey country and are wreaking havoc against the monkeys who believe they are fat bannanas until they bite into the shell and are gored by the sharper than usual spikes. Also, the pineapples have caused a fair bit of radiation pollution in the country (cyborg monkeys) which seems to have the quite destructive ability of causing the monkeys to start a civil war within the already unstable state.

The citizens of Bouaginville (under complusotory milatary service) have gone into The Democratic Republic of the Pinnapple Chunk and poisned the soil causing all pinnapples to wither and be destoryed!
Then your citizens, compassionate fools that they are I mean they were in the top wenty thousands for loving kittens, told us of your headquaters and we destroyed it using weapons found in your ungaurded milatary base saving our resoucres and allowing for our tax rate to stay at its same 37%.
We also used the banned Harry Potter books to light a fire and destroy your cities! :sniper:

The pinecones spacestation has lauched 3 nuclear missles at bouaginville's capital.

:gundge: I think you may have forgotten something....

All harry potter books have a mechanism that is only activated by flame. The publisher knew that the books would be a fad and that people would be burning them to remove them from the planet. When flame touches the books they trun on their owners (your citizens) and kill them by lacerations from the paper... which cuts very easily

The pesticides only helped the genetic mutations going on by the uranium enrichment plant and have amplified the destructive power of the pineapples that the pesticides were made to destroy.

That sucks now doesnt it! :gundge: :gundge:

:mp5: :sniper: 5 nuclear missles were fired at major metropolitan areas in no sanity whatsoever. The radiation also attracted more mutant pineapples to the country which caused problems in it's own right.

I, emperor of empire grunt, am choosing to wait. until then i will gather my forces and strike from the shadows "like a coiled viper he strikes!" Johnny English

Umbrellians may I introduce our new wiki site!!!

http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/The_Allied_Lands_of_Umbrelli

:gundge: The pinecones have launched using catapults seeds of the "agressive man eating vines of doom+destruction" onto bouaginvillian soild. The plants are growing fast due to the uranium rich soil and pesticides. The plants as you know have an appetite for humans and animals and are devouring bouaginvilles citizens as we speak. :gundge:

The "agressive man eating vines of doom+destruction" has sprouted(not sure if it's the right word) flowers and the pollen is attracting the "poisonous pink pineconian platapusseseseses...". The pppp have a natural dislike of anything with computer chips or wires in them and will by instinct destroy these objects.

the pppp, according to the pinecones, have an utter dislike towards anything with a computer chip, which I take to mean the deadly cyborg monkey army. This may be true but does not mean anything can be done about it. All cyborg monkies are equipped with high temperature flamethrowers. Furthermore being partly machine they are conneced via a high speed, direct satellite connection so they can co-ordinate their efforts (and their flamethrowers). So wahts left of your plants will be returned to your headquarters in a nice boquet. Enjoy! :D

You were foolish to use a satilite. The pinecone's space station that we built a while ago blew up your satilite via laser and Electromagnectic-pulse/missles/bombs disabling you monkeys and making your satilite unuseable. Now you stupid cyborg monkeys are confused and partially disabled and since the platapusseseseses are aquatic they have enough defenses to withstand your flamethrowers and take apart your dumb monkeys.

You think that an army of superior cyborgs would be disabled by the loss of a pathetic satelite?!?! HAHA!!! All monkeys have triple redundancy backup systems including (but not limited too) multiple satellites in geosynchronus orbit over various locations of the planet. Furthermore all these satellites are now at high alert and will neutralize all objects that close to a distance of 10 miles or less. And as to your "aquatic" plants... well that doesn't matter. At a high enough temperature water itself will burn. Even though you neutralized a division of monkeys... thats like taking a fly swatter to a fly. There are simply too many for a loss (or multiple losses) to matter. Oh by the way. Before my satellite was neutralized it was able to track the tragectory of your missiles and rely the information to HQ. Your space station is now the target of multiple CHEAP-BP's warheads ( cluster,high explosive, armor pircing, bannana peals). A fresh division of cyborg monkeys (now upgraded with light absorbtion stealth technology) is on its way to a secret location to prepare an assault on your government buildings. Enjoy!

Its quiet at Bougainville, too quiet. As the leader of the pack, bougainville has recieved little interesting action, although it is the capital of the fruit pickers..... hmmm how odd :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused:

Our experts at our spacestation(what was built way before your satilites and more advanced) has done a one-way hacking to your satilites and wiped out all backups, even the redundancy ones, the secret ones and secret redundancy ones and so on. Then your satilites we re programmed in which we used to hack into your monkeys in the same format and now we are controlling every single them. The monkeys were reprogrammed (the backups, secretback ups, redundancy and so on were wiped out by the way) to attack bouaginville and No sanity whatsoever. As for the bouquet, thank you for your contribution we really appreciated it, we cleaned it all out and used it as compost from growing newly engineered and more deadly plants. As for your warheads if you noticed the pineconian station has a powerful forcefield and will vaporize anything comming near it so in other words your warheads never made it. A caution note: the spacestation is less dangerous in its current state than if it were to be blown apart. The weapon is 100% complete.

P.S. i trust you know what a platapuss is? (it's an animal not plant). Oh yeah I agree with the pineapples bouaginville is being a little too quiet.

Pineconian News

Headline: Captial under attack

Citizens of Pineconia were attack today by a bunch of invisible cyborg-monkeys, they destroyed several buildings in the city and killed 330 pineconians and 120 were injured. However thanks to the experts of the pineconian space station the monkeys were subdued and are now on their way to Bouaginville and No sanity whatsoever. The public rejoice at the site of this however it did not come at a price, the monkeys have destroyed several important buildings costing the country over $10 million bags of compost of damage. Because of this taxes were raised 2% to cover the damage. The public was not very happy about this since the taxes rose 5% already. Some riots broke out but was quickly subdued. Alerted by this our beloved leader "杉木锥体" has issued a start of a national alert system in order to prevent this from happening again.

Ao, cool idea, i suggest that at least news headlines, or article summaries are included in actions in forum....

War Continues, People Urged to Up Production
Due to lowering taxes in the Most Serene Republic of the Pinapple Chunk, the people have been urged to up production of military goods so that the war will end more quickly.
On the war front there have been many advances with troops entering the Ankbar Province of the new Fruitpicker state of Pinatubu the area is being heavily thrusted into trouble because of the military entry on such a new country with only a developing military power. The area is under attack and will be conquered by the end of the week, military strategists predict. Many of the people in Fruit Pickers are surrendering due to the extreme military might and confidence of their invaders.
The east chunky missile silo caused a large chain of streaks in the sky last night as ten nuclear missles headed for annihilation of the fruit picker capital of Bougainville, which only occupies one acre. The uranium mining operations involved were aided by new countries joining the Allied Lands of Umbrelli, including the Republic of I_A_N.
The Grand Council met yesterday, creating new foreign policy regarding the war. This included a call for an end to military operations on any country's soil that defected to the Umbrelli reigon. But, the most contreversial decision was that once the Umbrelli forces reigned supreme over the fruit pickers, if the nations fled with the demise of their reigon, their leaders and people would not be charged with war crimes by the Umbrelli tribunal, and that the countries would not be invaded again if haness acts were done again against the Umbrelli homeland. This was very odd considering the council's usual pro-doom and destruction stance. The meeting was considered revolutionary in "the pre-planning of post war politics."


A Slight Bit of hope Still Exists for Fruit Pickers.... one reporter wonders if this is the right decision?

***

War operations are forcasted to end by the end of the week, although new offenses may cause that deadline started by high ranking generals to be audited.

As leader of the region Fruit Pickers of Evil, I am here to propose a mutual agreement banning nukulear weapons as they destroy evnviroments in both areas and have killed off the fishing industry in the middle of Africa. Other, more enviromentaly friendly weapons can still be used! We propose this mutual agreement in hopes of continuing an effective war with out harming the enviroment. After all, we don't want our national animals to die!

Its quiet at Bougainville, too quiet. As the leader of the pack, bougainville has recieved little interesting action, although it is the capital of the fruit pickers..... hmmm how odd

Is Bouaginville really doing nothing, or are we just bidding our time? As leaders of Fruit Pickers of Evil it would not be supriseing if we were involved in some devious plot, not that we are or anything...

BTW, I think the headlines are a splendid idea! Though since my country doesn't have freedom of press, I am afraid that you will not be receiving any from me. All preses reports in my country are strictly related to nothing that could alarm slaves, I mean citizens, of The Empire of Bouaginville. After all, I am a dictatorship.

In response to the recent attacks Bouaginville has moved all of its people to a secret and safe hiding space and the missiles and what not are now falling on whats left of Bouaginville's once beautiful forests, before they were cut down for timber.

Late last night out of nowhere, the Faceless Assassins made a quick insertion and brutal decisive strike. The nation had been thought to be out of the war but decide they should aid a friend that was in grave danger. Due to intel reports from an espionage run, the assassins recieved word that fruit pickers of evil would be betrayed by sopmeone on the inside, but not just one nation. The nation known as flipp n los3r was one of these nations. The strike waws on the aliied lands of umbrellis capital, pineapple chunk, in a successful blow to the government. The strike took down half the government officials along with 3/4 of the nations followup strike on bouganville. The mission was done with minimum casualties to the assassins and brought a new hope to the war.

One problem,
When you forsee damage before it happens you are violating the rules of forum war. (just learned this)

Anyway, damage was restricted to one part of the city and the angry public attacked in mob form. The people were trained to do this through a "hate week" reminescent of 1984. The assasins are assasins remember too, they wouldn't destroy cities????

:p

I must congratulate the pinecones on their brilliant idea to hack my satellites. My monkeys were momentarily confused and disorganized. And for the breifest moment I thought my mighty army would be useless. Fortunatley even if all my satellites were rendered useless I have many more secret locations that are not on the same system. But as it is my satellites are fully operational. They all automatically reprogrammed themselves and are now uploading anti hack software. And i must say that for considering me such an inferior nation you are spending a lot of time and resources trying to eliminate me... I seem to be a popular target, though there are seven other nations to contend with.

Ignore the last entry by me.

Anyway. After attacking the pineapple homeland, the assassins moved in on the pinecones to aide their friends the cyborg monkies. The assassins attacked the pinecones from behind, unexpectedly.

Before your satilites we able to recover the pineconians had them eliminated by destroying them with a EM-pulse/Laser fusion disabling and destroying them and making your part un reusable.

Pineconian News

The Skylights Up
Last night many pineconians must have noticed many colored lights in the sky. Our government would just like to point out that they are not a part of the Pine Day celebration. They were just lasers incernerating a few worthless satilites, we appollogize if there was any confusion. However the lights did save our nation from an attack. The lights were able to reveal several hidden assasins in pineconian territory sent by our former ally the faceless assasins. The assasins were driven back by the pineconian's ancient pinecone abilities and none were hurt during this attack. Nonetheless the assasins did do some damage which will a increase of 1% in taxes will cover.

Hmmmm...

Faceless assasins seems to have its troops streched very much due to its multi-fronted attacks, especially on pinecones. This is exactly what Major General Major Commander Jimbob of the flying pinapple corps noticed and took advantage of. Extra spikey pineapples (super hybridized/radiated) were used as projectile devices onto faceless assasins, easily flinged by extra springy palm trees (also superhybridized/radiated) the pinapple spikes are extra sticky (you know why) and were shaped like fish hooks to stay in their victims. And any forcefield that only deflects certain things (as of speculation) couldn't detect pinapples which contain no metal but are just as spikey and deadly. Deadly because of the poisonous nature of the radation levels in the fruit!!!!
:mp5: :sniper:

Pineconian News

Nation Demands Peace

Today many streets were filled with pineconian in favor of stopping the war. This is due to the raising of taxes to and outrageous 16% which the citizens are blaming on the long going war and the government. This problem has caused many problems for the NS of The Pinecones most of which are economically related. Also the problem was so bad that not even the nation's police forces were able to subdue it. Exactly how this all started no one knows for sure however the government has reasons to believe there might be a spy in the nation spreading false rumors regarding the government. Inorder to stop this from getting worse the government was forced to cancel the Pine Day celebration but it is not for certain if it will stay canceled this year. During this strike none were injured just 100 were vaporized and 56 were brainwashed and 10 were forced to eat pickles for 6 weeks while doing the hokey pokey.

Afetr the attack by pineapples (in which 63 assassins were lost, and 17 were wounded and still suffering) the assassins regruoped when they realived their mistake. Once regruoped, the assassins launched a covert ops night mission on the pinepples again. With newly developed equipment on their sides the assassins have the upper hand due to not being able to get detected. After the assualt, assassins regruoped.

The Umbrellian Regonal Conveyor Belt

FRUIT PICKERS DISBAND, WAR IS OVER!
The war is over as the members of the Fruit Picker Reigon disband, causing political turmoil in the nation of Cyborg Monkeys, the only remaining nation in the crushed reigon. The Allied Lands of Umbrelli has proclaimed victory in their name, since none of the other emerging anti-Fruit Picker regions were involved in the war. Now that it has finished, the military has come home, because the post war politics plan is beginning and restoration of all war wreched countries has begun. The Grand Council met today, re-affirming the post war political act passed recently and keeping military funding up, citing "inconsistencies" from the UBI (Umbrellian Intelligence Agency). War crimes trials are now being done against the few that the Post-War Politics act didn't address, the Xformer alliesX constant enemies, the Armed Republic of Faceless Assasins. The POW's are under constant "re-education" by the government and will soon be "integrated" into the Pinapple Chunk's Society.

Dear Umbrellians;

The Fruit Pickers of Evil have since disabanded because this war is entirely pointless and is not going anywhere. It has not been fun, and so now we leave you and the Allied Lands of Umbrelli in peace, unless the few nations left so choose to rally.

Delegate chosen for Fruit Pickers of Evil