NationStates Jolt Archive

Attention! People of Earth. The Mighty Rouge nation of Jatinum Spade has developed a massice inhibitor cannon at our drydock on Mars. We have already completed the test firing, in which Saturn was destroyed, and currently have it aimed on Earth. If you do not meet with our demands within 48 hours me and my allies in the region Antartica will annihilate your world. I request 3 billion people, and also control over all space object (satillites, stations, etc). Don't make any foolish decisions...

A call went out, and the battered ships of Hjarteln soon began taking off. In an amazingly short time, not a single Hjari remained on Earth...
The fleet assembled near the edge of the Solar system to watch the excitement.

OOC: *wonders if the response to this will be "Ignore" or "Crush"*

OOC: Wait a sec, you're gonna destroy the world, but your region is located in Antartica...?

The Nation of T.H.L is curious about how you can destroy Saturn, a planet entirely made up of gases. Thus, we decree this as a false, empty threat, and go back to our daily lifes.

OOC> I've seen some really stupid posts before, but this takes the top prize.

IC> Xeraph ignores you in perpetuity.

Attention! People of Earth. The Mighty Rouge nation of Jatinum Spade has developed a massice inhibitor cannon at our drydock on Mars. We have already completed the test firing, in which Saturn was destroyed, and currently have it aimed on Earth. If you do not meet with our demands within 48 hours me and my allies in the region Antartica will annihilate your world. I request 3 billion people, and also control over all space object (satillites, stations, etc). Don't make any foolish decisions...

OOC: right... n00b..., heres some advice- it is generally not a good idea for your first post to be 'I am going to destroy the world with a big cannon.' (actually come to think of it I dont know when that is a good idea)
Problems with this other than the fact that it is ridiculous:
1. Where did you come up with the technology for this inhibitor cannon?
2. How did you manage to build this cannon without being detected?
3. How did you get to mars?

As for me, I am not even ON Earth so it doesnt even affect me but you can be sure you shall be met with the all powerful I.G.N.O.R.E shield and then completely destroyed if you do not apologize for your foolishness and delete your post. :mp5:

IC:
The Protectorate hears a ridiculous boast from somewhere near Earth and prepares to wipe out the insignificant speck that sent it.

Ig|\|0r3 t3h n00bz

The Nation of T.H.L is curious about how you can destroy Saturn, a planet entirely made up of gases. Thus, we decree this as a false, empty threat, and go back to our daily lifes.

Not entirely accurate. The planet Saturn does have a solid core that could be destroyed, causing a gravity distortion that could infact destroy the planet. The real question is, who honestly cares about Saturn?

OOC> I've seen some really stupid posts before, but this takes the top prize.

IC> Xeraph ignores you in perpetuity.


This, my friend, is no where near top prize. I've soon posts so ridiculous , this dude couldnt touch them with a 10 foot n00b rod.

IC:

“So, you’re telling me they’re going to destroy the planet…. which their region is located on…. and that they already blew up Satan…. comprised almost entirely of gases and a soild core.…and they want 3 billion people, and control over every nations orbital assets?”

“Yes Director-General”

“Yeah…. that’s nice…. this intelligence came from where?”

“A tabloid, also, it reports that cows are planning to take over the world, Elvis is alive and bartending in Detroit oh, and Hillary Clinton is, in reality, the Anti-Christ.”

“Well, I can agree with the last part…. I believe this falls under the ignored category, no?”

Echo shook her head when she looked over the report and chuckled. "Here read this," she said as she passed it to her brother. As he looked it over he to began to laugh. "Pity those poor idiotic and sheltered bastards. Can we please move on to something important now?"

“Yeah…. that’s nice…. this intelligence came from where?”
“A tabloid, also, it reports that cows are planning to take over the world, Elvis is alive and bartending in Detroit oh, and Hillary Clinton is, in reality, the Anti-Christ.”
OOC: rofl. :D. Good job.

OOC: rofl. :D. Good job.

OOC: Thank you, I aim to please, falling short of my mark more often than not

I am completely confused. Why would you start off your first post with something so...stupid? Not to be offensive, or anything, but it might be better if you make things alot more believable.

I am completely confused. Why would you start off your first post with something so...stupid? Not to be offensive, or anything, but it might be better if you make things alot more believable.

Because "writing" and "playing the game" are ideals some people fail to grasp. They want to start the game as 1337 players whom we all fear. The things that I've seen in my year or so around here....this isnt really even surpirsing anymore. Things like "I lunch all my nuks" and "I r teh omg1337, ph3r m3" were almost commonplace at one time.

The other possibility is that this is just an older nation, who made him/herself a puppet for the express purpose of acting n00bish and angering us all for this amusement, not uncommon, really.

OOC: Look, let's settle this like adults.

IC:

I kill Jatinum Spade with my mind.

OOC: Look, let's settle this like adults.

IC:

I kill Jatinum Spade with my mind.


and thus, settled it was , and all was good.

and there was much rejoicing....

*faint and un-enthusiastically* yay

OOC: Yes... One has to wonder, about some of these posts, if it's really intended to be taken seriously. I saw one once that I think was a Mod-puppet...

and thus, settled it was , and all was good.

I believe cake is in order.

it better be ice cream. that's the best IMO

Funny, our top scientists agree that saturn, is indeed still there. They also wonder why you would blow upt he planet your region, Antarctica, is on.

ooc-NOOB

OOC. What a Godmode. Considering your nation only has 9 million people you could not develop such a weapon. ;) Or Ever. But there's always the IGNORE shield.

Let them eat cake!

One doesnt need to start out in the game as an ub3r n00k j00 all nation, look at me, I havent been in one war, or threatend anyone. I have only been here a few weeks, and My Nation is respected and well liked by everyone(Well Not everyone, >_>)....I think...

OOC:Hey, I like you. That's at least one.

However, on another note...
it might not be a n00b, just like someone said. Might be just some country trying to have a laugh at it. Then again...

as to answer any questions your feeble minds have about how I have destroyed Saturn, I will tell you that it involves hyperphasing a molten geoball through transdimensions. Maybe someday your pathetic nations will be as advanced as mine(by the way it is not even located on earth we are safe in another galaxy) rest in pieces fools.
*presses the launch ingnition, and watches as Earth is phased into another dismension where it will be eaten by a pack of planet eaters*

as to answer any questions your feeble minds have about how I have destroyed Saturn, I will tell you that it involves hyperphasing a molten geoball through transdimensions. Maybe someday your pathetic nations will be as advanced as mine(by the way it is not even located on earth we are safe in another galaxy) rest in pieces fools.
*presses the launch ingnition, and watches as Earth is phased into another dismension where it will be eaten by a pack of planet eaters*

*Watches a little kid throw a pebble across the park at 'Earth'

Laughs .. eats more cake :)

OOC: The earth is destroyed. Congratulations. You've just killed more than 2 thousand trillion people. The only survivors are those based in space, who will all undoubtedly declare war on you, and utterly annhilate you and your allies. Have fun little n00b.

IC:

<MBC News Broadcast>

"On a lighter note, a raving lunatic was arrested earlier today trying to use a Maglite torch to 'transport the Earth into another dimension', and declaring himself the 'omg pwnzor 0f 411'. Police pyschiatrists are still attempting to work out how exactly the man came to be able to pronounce such phrases, and exactly what mental illness caused him to believe the utter nonsense he was spouting"

OOC: I don't know how a country with a low economy could have such a high technologically advanced weapon. Might I ask?

IC:

"Oh my god! The Earth is Gone!" Some random guy. Luckily, he able to escape into the unknown using his advanced jet-packs.

Luckily, the nation of T.H.L was able to reflect the beam using their large amount of gold-plated strap ons.

Secretly the nation of Phalanix had assisted THL in reflecting the beams by using the glass from all the nations and worlds that were glassed in the multipule campaignes of expansion.

Ig|\|0r3 t3h n00bz

s3(0l\ld3d.

w00t. 3y3 m d4 b3st dud3 !|\| d4 wur1d. w00t 4g4!|\|...

as to answer any questions your feeble minds have about how I have destroyed Saturn, I will tell you that it involves hyperphasing a molten geoball through transdimensions. Maybe someday your pathetic nations will be as advanced as mine(by the way it is not even located on earth we are safe in another galaxy) rest in pieces fools.
*presses the launch ingnition, and watches as Earth is phased into another dismension where it will be eaten by a pack of planet eaters*

Come on man, you ARE joking right? I have a hard time believing that someone can be that n00bish. See my first post in this thread for my reasons why I think you couldnt have done this. And as for you being in another galaxy... didnt you say that you were in Antarctica... hmmm...

If you do not meet with our demands within 48 hours me and my allies in the region Antartica will annihilate your world.

IC:
The Protectorate repairs any damage done to the Earth and then begins the invasion of Jatinum Spade... which takes about ten minutes to finish and then the leader of Jatinum Spade is shipped to the leaders of Earth.

Prime Minister Fredric Ulyanov, one of the many leaders of Earth, immediately shoots Jatinum Spade's leader when he arrives on earth, using a Glock 9mm taken from his personal security detail. The reason the Glock was chosen was, to quote Ulyanov, "These n00bz arn't worth using my own weapon."

Jatinum Spade's leader's body is then repeatedly crushed by a T-90 Main Battle Tank, and then the pulp is sent around the world for other nations to further desecrate.

Our top scientists, along with our stupidest citizens, do agree that we are still infact, living and breathing.

The prisoner the people of earth has is actually a metaphasic nuke decoy, and kills 9 trillion people. jatinum Spade laughs at the foolish remarks as all the earth's people are actually in a deep trance and being used to power Jatinum Spade's galatic desintigrator.

Woot. We're all dead, for a second time.

Oh, wait, that makes no sense... How can you destroy earth and then nuke earth an hour later? That defies the most fundamental laws of physics. Don't tell my you have time-travel too.

The prisoner the people of earth has is actually a metaphasic nuke decoy, and kills 9 trillion people. jatinum Spade laughs at the foolish remarks as all the earth's people are actually in a deep trance and being used to power Jatinum Spade's galatic desintigrator.
LOL funny stuff.

IC: The forces of the Protectorate, being inorganic and thus unaffected by any sort of trance, begin Integrating this galactic desintigrator and then wake up the people of Earth. They then begin poking Jatinum Spade repeatadly.

Our top scientists, along with our stupidest citizens, do agree that we are still infact, living and breathing.


After much deliberation and thinking (Drinking), our top "analysts" were forced to come to the same conclusion.


I nuked you, you're dead, I win.

ahhh.. at least this thread is giving me a good laugh. :p

After what was thought to be the biggest idiot contest awarded the "Nuke Man" with the award of Universal F**king Moron award it was stripped away and given to Jatinum Spade after a rain of mouthwash and not a end of the world weapon.

j4j. |)05t4nu0t 10y. w3 luv !tz w3n u g3t !|\|v01v3d !|\| r4ndum (r4p. G0 |)05t4nu0t 10y. n00k d0z3 |3!0tch3z 4t y4t!|\|um 5p4|)3.

j4j. |)05t4nu0t 10y. w3 luv !tz w3n u g3t !|\|v01v3d !|\| r4ndum (r4p. G0 |)05t4nu0t 10y. n00k d0z3 |3!0tch3z 4t y4t!|\|um 5p4|)3.
PATCHING INTO UNIVERSAL TRANSLATOR... no match found in intelligent species database
Hmmm.. must be n00bish.
(i actually cant read that)

None...of...my sensors...can find out what is going...on.

(HEAVY STAR TREK ACCENT)
Fire the Proton...Torpedoes.

j/k...I don't watch Star Trek, and I never will, or my people will kill me.

PATCHING INTO UNIVERSAL TRANSLATOR... no match found in intelligent species database
Hmmm.. must be n00bish.
(i actually cant read that)

Translation: Yay, Dostanuot Loj! I love it when you get involved in random crap. Go Dostanuot Loj! Nuke those bitches at Jatinum Spade.

Jatinum Spade, you are drawing unwanted attention to the region, holding the world for ransom can only end in disaster... for you not the world. Antarctica123 advises that you stand down your threats or we will be forced to respond to your empty threats with real action. We have confirmed that Saturn has not been destroyed via telescopes and our intelligence forces indicate that you lack the infastructure to devise such a weapon. As your nation is located on Earth, it is obvious that you have not destroyed it. It would be in your best interest to stop lying to the international community, thinking that they wouldn't verify your claims is pure madness.

Don't you see? My location saying I am on earth is just an elaborate hoax. We are an advanced alien race that resides in the m1289 galaxy. We have been studying your species for some time and have determined that you are not worthy for survival. Many of your nations defile the planet and kill living things. The high council on Mercurium 5 has declared that your species be wiped out. I'm sorry. but we must start systemmatically metaphasing black holes into the cores of all planets within your solar system. (and yes saturn was destroyed. We just put up a holographic image so you would think that it is still there)

You are aware that there are a great many other species on Earth that would be wiped out if you were to destroy it, while the humans would still exist on other worlds throughout the galaxy?

Don't you see? My location saying I am on earth is just an elaborate hoax. We are an advanced alien race that resides in the m1289 galaxy. We have been studying your species for some time and have determined that you are not worthy for survival. Many of your nations defile the planet and kill living things. The high council on Mercurium 5 has declared that your species be wiped out. I'm sorry. but we must start systemmatically metaphasing black holes into the cores of all planets within your solar system. (and yes saturn was destroyed. We just put up a holographic image so you would think that it is still there)
right... :rolleyes:
Considering how i have already drestroyed any presence that you had in the Sol System how do you plan on accomplishing this?

like I said... Metaphasing black holes into the cores of all planets in your solar system from the safety of our own galaxy.

EDIT: We zap a balckhole into your cannon, destroying it. We then zap blackholes into all of your planets, destroying them.

This is such a good RP! Please try to do more! :rolleyes:

Attention! People of Earth. The Mighty Rouge nation of Jatinum Spade has developed a massice inhibitor cannon at our drydock on Mars. We have already completed the test firing, in which Saturn was destroyed, and currently have it aimed on Earth. If you do not meet with our demands within 48 hours me and my allies in the region Antartica will annihilate your world. I request 3 billion people, and also control over all space object (satillites, stations, etc). Don't make any foolish decisions...

ooc: Well, I guess that answers a few questions. You see, a good number of folks around here recognize Mars as having a HUGE population of various longstanding nations, and that it is heavily patroled. It even has its own boards and region. Same with the Saturn system where I myself have a colony. This can only mean that you do not operate in the same relative reality as myself and those I rp with, given that we all know reality is broken here in NS, so ... have fun sandboxing with whoever will recognize this rather ridiculous claim from a decidedly new nation who hasn't rp'ed the development or building of said 'uberweapon' nor done their homework on who claims to be where in the NS Sol system. (I'm sure there are plenty of other nations with claims in their own accepted realities that far differ from those in mine as well, and are just as valid.) Nevermind this 'black-holing- bs you're trying to wank up. No one is going to rp out the total destuction of nations some of which have been here developing since Dec '02 just because some godmodey n00b up and decides they're deat. Ta!

Activating I.G.N.O.R.E. shield on Jatinum. Sorry guy but you just went too far.

what's an I.G.N.O.R.E. shield?

One doesnt need to start out in the game as an ub3r n00k j00 all nation, look at me, I havent been in one war, or threatend anyone. I have only been here a few weeks, and My Nation is respected and well liked by everyone(Well Not everyone, >_>)....I think...
"Finally, 'Tree Hugging Lesbians' has been voted the most liked nation on Earth, even among conservatives. But then, scientists proved long ago that an overwhelming majority of men believe lesbians exist so that they can watch two women in the same porn flick at the same time..." the anchor editorialized with a wink.

"And that's the news this hour ... Headline News coming up in three minutes."

(French language version of the ANN "News on the Hour" Feed)

I can't believe that Jatinum Spade posted in this thread AGAIN, noe can i believe i'm comming back 24 hours later to find it alive and kicking.

Well, might as well help myself to that cake....

what's an I.G.N.O.R.E. shield?
The almost cliché-looking leader of Ferdenique, a rogue pirate leader and dictator of the people of the Free Seas, stands up, accompanied by his Secretairy, a red ara parrot.

"Arrrrgh, laddy. It's an advanced tool of S.T.F.U. factories used by the more 'advanced' people to block out... how to put it tactfully, Secretairy?"
"RAWK! STUPID!"
"Shiver me timbers, polly, yer' bleedin' right."

Don't you see? My location saying I am on earth is just an elaborate hoax. We are an advanced alien race that resides in the m1289 galaxy. We have been studying your species for some time and have determined that you are not worthy for survival. Many of your nations defile the planet and kill living things. The high council on Mercurium 5 has declared that your species be wiped out. I'm sorry. but we must start systemmatically metaphasing black holes into the cores of all planets within your solar system. (and yes saturn was destroyed. We just put up a holographic image so you would think that it is still there)
"You know," said the Imam of Qu'um, delicately licking the cake off his fingers. "This 'Jatinum Spade' fellow has unwittingly boxed himself in a logical trap of sorts."

"Tell me about it," replied Sheikh Adbul. "If we're all dead - twice - then how come he keeps trying to convince us of the fact?" He reached for some tea.

Sheikh Ali sipped his tea and looked out over the dazzling snows of the Qu'umah Range. Having come from the lowlands, he always marvelled at the incredible beauty of its ever-frozen peaks under the spectacular May sun, a display of fire and ice that could move deadest soul.

Finally, he spoke. "I wonder if this actually might give us a chance to test my theory about the nature of the quantum multiverse (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=8225674#post8225674)..."

The others eyed him, with looks that might have conveyed surprise, or then again skepticism.

"Suppose," continued Ali, "That in this fellow's universe, a nation of a mere 9,000,000 souls could actually do things like this." The Sheik paused, reached for a piece of cake, and then stopped and took a piece of halvah instead. "In his cosm, the device works. It reaches the interface of his cosm and ours, and encounters the ontological barrier between our worlds. It hits that barrier and its effect is demolished by the erosion of its underlying axioms."

"Wouldn't this 'Jatinum Spade' know that his attack had failed?" asked the Imam in a nonchalant way, draining his cup of tea and reaching for the ornate samovard to pour himself another.

"That depends," replied Ali. "Maybe all phenomenological evidence at his end suggests success, because failure would be inconsistent with the observed laws of his cosm. And," he continued, "In similar fashion, nothing happened in ours for the same reason."

Abdul scowled. "That," he said with a dismissive tone, "Means that this 'theory' of yours can never be proven."

"Not at all," replied Ali. "We merely need to observe effects in another universe from within that universe, or observe the effects on ours of an interaction with another universe which, while not inconsistent with the laws of our universe, can only be explained by interaction with another." He paused, and then offered an example: "Like the curious behavior of light around a difraction grating."

The Imam reflected. "I wonder," he thought, "if there's any possible effect that these 'metaphased' black holes might have had on our universe, one that is consistent with our axioms, even if it's not quite the one 'Jatinum Spade' had in mind..."

OOC: By all means, help yourselves to the tea and halvah... ;)

I'll have another piece of ice cream...

I applaud you ayadahha. Out of all these nations here, you finally figured it out. You are turly worthy of this... *hand Ayadahha the amulet of the forefathers* Take heed. *Jatinum Spade disappears into a higher level of existence from whence it came.*

<_< >_> -tears down the horibly done background (big ol brown paper) and opens up the higher plane and throws in some molitoves-

I applaud you ayadahha. Out of all these nations here, you finally figured it out. You are turly worthy of this... *hand Ayadahha the amulet of the forefathers* Take heed. *Jatinum Spade disappears into a higher level of existence from whence it came.*

OOC: Oh, I can't let this go...

Sheikh Ali slept restlessly, his dreams full of wanderings in dark corridors, lit by torches that threw bizarre shadows on the walls in strange colors and impossible angles. He was looking, looking for ... something. He could not identify it, only know with an inexplicable certainty that he would know what it was he sought when he found it.

Then he awoke with a gasp.

He was drenched in sweat. Through the narrow window, the luminous moon filled his chambers with an unearthly glow. He was shaking. He needed air.

He gathered up his robes and unsteadily made his way to the veranda. He did not open the shutters more than he had to to take in the awesome beauty of the mountains at night, for - in spite of summer's daytime heat, it was painfully cold up here after dark. Nor did he open the glass doors. He could see the mountains through the glass. He could hear the mountains through the glass, hear the low vibration they made as they were battered like sails by stratospheric winds.

Where had he been?

Three years ago, while looking through the old manuscripts, those left behind by the Sisterhood, he had found and translated the tome on Dreaming. Following its instructions, he had become quite an accomplished Dreamer. It was in these nocturnal travels that he came to the belief that Dream was another world, parallel to but separate from our own. Or perhaps many worlds; he was sure that there were many, just not if he had visited many in his journeys through Dream.

Ali suspected that Dream was the only practical way to explore these other worlds - if Dream could even be thought of as "practical". He could imagine no way to travel physically, but his spiritual training as a Sufi had led him to understand that no other way was truly necessary. Oh, to the scientists, perhaps: but as much as Sheikh Ali sounded like a scientist to others, he was not. He knew that his true path was that of the Mystic.

He suspected that this was why the Imam indulged him in permitting so much open discussion of his theory. For him, at least, the theory was a path. And who knows, perhaps it was for others, even in its rejection by men such as Sheikh Adbul, whose skepticism was obvious. It is at much in learning for ourselves what is untrue that we find Truth, as it is in the discoverery of Truth itself. he thought.

But tonight he had fallen so easily into sleep, and barely even gotten through his trained entry into Dream, through the measured descent down the Thousand Steps of Sleep through the Twin Gates of Slumber. And then he was...

Where?!? he wondered. It felt like someplace close, even below the Rose Mosque itself, although he knew of no set of passages that looked like the ones he'd seen in Dream.

Yet the Mosque was old, older even than Islam, older even than Issa, some said older even than all the prophets, although he doubted this last. Over 2,000 years it had stood, but as the Rose Cloister of the Sisterhood, not the Rose Mosque of the Imam.

There were passages, some natural, some manmade, that few knew of, and certainly passages that remained unknown. Could he have found one in Dream?

And if he had, did it still exist?

And if he did, could he learn where it was in the Waking World?

And if he did and could enter it, what would he find there?

He was filled with both dread and exhilaration.

Then he wondered, Should I find it first, and then tell my peers? Or tell my peers and enlist their support?

It took only a second before he realized that this was Deceit, crouching like a lion to sieze and devour him. Why conceal it now, unless you wish to conceal what you find there after you find it? And why do that, unless you covet it?

He coveted nothing but that which he, as a pious Muslim, was entitled to: the presence of the One, the Eternal.

He rose, and went to get himself a cup of chamomile mixed with other herbs, a recipe his mentor, the author of the tome, a woman dead for centuries, had prescribed to prevent the Initiate Dreamer from entering the Dream.

He would sleep - True Sleep - and in the morning he would talk to the Imam.

He suspected that the Imam already knew of his journeys, and trusted his Master to help him choose his next steps with care.

Sheikh Ali felt as through he had been wandering these halls forever. They seemed an endless maze, and yet in the back of his mind, he thought that there was something familiar about the pattern. I almost think I know where this is, he thought.

Then he emerged into a chamber, lit by those same weird flames, but now reflected in reds and yellows by the gleam of gold. Everywhere.

There was an idol, half woman, half some kind of great hunting cat, somewhat like a jaguar or puma, crouched as though ready to pounce. Immediately his eye was drawn to an amulet around its neck. Siezed by an insane urge, he strode up to the idol and plucked the amulet off the vast statue.

And just as suddenly, the statue was transformed into beast of flesh and blood, one that snarled and leapt at his throat. He threw himself to the side in time to meet the monster's jaws with his shoulder.

THUD!

Shiekh Ali awakened in pain. He had fallen from the bed, striking his shoulder on the floor. A gash had opened and a trickle of blood was beginning to appear. Before he could do anything, the huge dervish posted at his bedside by the Imam rushed to his side and scooped him up, urging him not to move while he examined the Shiekh's injuries.

When at last he had recovered, and was sitting at a small table sipping tea, his wound having been securely bandaged, he sent a servant back to the Imam with word of his noctural adventures. Soon, an answer returned: they would evaluate the dream over breakfast. Ali went back to bed, and slept soundly, True Sleep this time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Over breakfast, the Imam and Sheikh Ali looked at maps of the Mosque and its surroundings. An archaelogist and a historian sat with them, listening and taking notes.

"Describe once more your pattern of movements just before you entered the shrine - how far you went in down each corridor, and which way you turned," said the archaelogist.

As Ali did so, the archaelogist drew on the paper in front of him, with a pen and ruler, creating a spiraling shape. When Ali was done, he and the historian looked at it, and then peered at the map. Several minutes passed as they went back and forth between the two.

And then the archaelogist exclaimed, "Wait!"

He pivoted the diagram around, and then pushed it in front of the historian. "Watch as I do this, and see if it matches..."

With the cap of his pen, he traced a route, matching the diagram he had drawn except in scale. After a couple of lines, the historian became excited. "Yes, that's it!"

"Explain," said the Imam.

"There must be a set of corridors between the walls of these passages and rooms within the old Cloister, a set of secret passages. We've found things like this before," the archaelogist said camly, but with a hint of excitement, retracing the path so everyone could see. "If I'm right, the chamber should be," he continued, pausing as he finished the route "... right here."

"See if it is," commanded the Imam, before leaning back and sipping more tea.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The chamber was, indeed, covered in gold. Even more eerily, the idol of the crouching cat-woman was exactly where Ali had Dreamt it.

And around its next was an amulet, but one nobody dared touch.

Call it prudence, call it respect: if Ali's Dream had been right up until now, why take needless chances? No one really believed that the idol could come alive, but at the same time the events of Ali's dream suggested that something bad might happen when at last the amulet was removed.

Ali and the archaelogist spoke in whispers as the latter grilled the former on the exact details of his Dream. "Repeat it again, in exact sequence," said the scholar. Ali did. They sat then, looking at the statue.

Then one of his assistants, a woman in a maroon chador, said, "Stay here while I look at something. Don't worry, I'll be very careful."

Lightly she crept forward, playing a flashlight across the base of the statue. She paused, then lightly ran her finger along some surfaces and joints underneath the huge idol.

She returned. "I recommend we photograph everything before anything is touched. Then I have an idea."

A few hours later, the technicians were finished with the photographs. After that, a set of scaffolds and small hoists were brought in, and straps and cables fitted around everything. When all was ready, a small, wiry technician mounted a scaffold directly in front of the statue with a harness around his torso, fitted to a pulley held aloft by a hoist poistioned behind him. Several more technicians were set to haul on the rope as soon as they heard the signal.

The man reached up and gingerly tied two of the links in the gold chain securing the amulet to the idol's neck with lightweight string. He then gently pried one of those links apart as Ali and the archaelogist, with his assistants, watched on a screen at great magnification.

When at last the link was loosened, he called back, "When I say 'pull', haul as hard as you can."

He then securely grasped the amulet in one hand, reaching over with a pair of scissors to cut the string. As they closed with a click, he yelled "Pull!!!"

The belay swept the technician off the scaffold. At almost the same instant, the statue heaved forward directly at the point where he'd stood. Restraining harnesses and cables groaned with its weight, but finally held, preserving the idol from damage. But it was clear from the aftermath that, without preparation, whomever had tried to remove the amulet would have been crushed under the statue's terrific weight as it "pounced" on him and bore him down.

The technician was released from the harness and dusted himself off. Congratulations went around the room as he strode up to Ali and handed him the amulet.

"Here you are," he said with a flourish. Ali lifted the bauble and gazed at it in awe.

"So now," said the archaelogist quietly, "what I want to know next is, what does it do?"

OOC: This thread has gone from nothing to seriousness.

OOC: This thread has gone from nothing to seriousness.Ya gotta love it when that happens.

OOC: stop encouraging Jatinum Spade. He will just make another n00b post...

Since we've all been saved and destroyed and the I.G.N.O.R.E. sheild has saved us, I have to ask.......
are there any DVD copies of this for sale?? THis could be a huge movie blockbuster.
The world destroyed....and then not....but wait! Then maybe yes, no, yes, no.... tune in for more at midnight.


think of the profits :headbang: :confused:

I actually imagine it...

In the deep recesses of space, an intergalactic empire launched a massive arsenal of weapons against earth. However, the Humans had been able to activate the I.G.N.O.R.E shields they had for so long used, and it reflected back at them, where they were destroyed from their own I.D.I.O.T. ray...or are they?

Critic ravings:

Average:
Acting: (Just a laser beam shooting back and forth) A
Content: B
Story: C
Direction: D

Wow. :cool:

*Two boys are watching television. The television features a man in a typcial "space villian" getup.*

Space Villian: "Attention! People of Earth. The Mighty Rouge nation of Jatinum Spade has developed a massice inhibitor cannon at our drydock on Mars. We have already completed the test firing, in which Saturn was destroyed, and currently have it aimed on Earth. If you do not meet with our demands within 48 hours me and my allies in the region Antartica will annihilate your world. I request 3 billion people, and also control over all space object (satillites, stations, etc). Don't make any foolish decisions..."

Billy: I'm scared.

Tommy: Oh no! What are we going to do.

Mom (offscreen): I just made some Grandma Taylor's Chocolate Chip Cookies.

Boys: Yay! *They go running into the kitchen. The scene changes to the boys eating chocolate chip cookies and milk.

Announcer: There is no problem that can't be solved with Grandma Taylor's Chocolate Chip Cookies. Just unwrap, 20 minutes in the oven, and you have a warm, soft, gooey treat. Grandma Taylor Cookies. No problem!

Anything further from me will be in a new thread or this one (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=404316).

I'll leave the rest of the halvah.

That is really good RPing there.... :rolleyes:

NS never fails to amaze me or break my faith in humanity, once again...who was it who said that this thread went from nothing to serious in the blink of an eye?

Oh well....

*Has more cake, and tea* Its very good, you know?

NS never fails to amaze me or break my faith in humanity, once again...who was it who said that this thread went from nothing to serious in the blink of an eye?

Me. And share some cake!

Anything further from me will be in a new thread or this one (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=404316).

I'll leave the rest of the halvah.
Whoa...that is deep. But, at the same time, simple! *makes a mental note to TG NS friends with a link to Ayaddha's thread and encourage them to try it*