NationStates Jolt Archive

The Student Head, João "Soares" Panasqueira, wakes up with a hangover from last night. He drank far too many shots last night. Unfortunately, the Minister of Finances had been sent to the Hospital in coma. Laying naked next to him stood the Minister of Foreign affairs. Man, she's hot. He thinks, trying to piece together what little he could remember from last night. Shaking his head and heading for the bathroom to wash his face, he almost trips in one of the books that have remained untouched for 8 years... Ever since he joined the University.

Leaving to the Department of Mathematics, he curses as he can't find a place to park. When he finally parks it on a garden, Panasqueira leaves to the classroom, where he spends his time throwing papers and barfing out useless remarks about politics in the middle of class. Regardless, the other students worship him.

When class ends, the last subject he needs to graduate... first year, he runs away to the Government Halls, where his classmates await him. Yes, it had been a long time ago when a student protest that culminated with the Senate's invasion had granted the University of Coimbra power. Surprisingly, the protest matched with a day where every single force of order was on strike, and they managed to overthrow the corrupt democratic government.

"Hey, faggot!!" His arch-enemy from the S List shouts. "You completely forgot to pay the army!! How on fuck you wanna stay in power that way!?" There was always a great animosity between members of the Lists R and S, that often culminated in violence outside the various Departments of the University, and many freshmen being thrown down the Monumental Stairways to "build character".

Panasqueira replies: "Fuck you, drunkard!! If you had been paying attention, you'd notice that was YOUR student account!! No surprise, you waste every coin you have on whores!!" The two lists began a series of offencive chants against each other, and finally began a large fistfight....

As the fighting calms down, both sides settle their differences with course dinners on the downtown restaurants. Most get patched up, as the nearby Hospital always sends a team of medics at that time of the day, if the number of students arriving in alcohol-induced coma the last night is superior to 500. Fortunately, no one was seriously injured last night.

As Panasqueira and his friends leave to the improvised parking lot, after deciding to lower the price of beer to the despair of many a booze baron, a few Brazillians await them with knives on hand. They are stripped of their money, cars and clothes, with only their cloaks to hide their naked bodies as they take the bus back to their houses. That was a trivial part of their lives, so they had learnt to hide their student passes in places the bandits wouldn't look for.

Heading back home, Panasqueira throws his cloak against a random wall, and prepares for the night's party. The fun was just starting...

The party draws on in Serenata, one of the restaurants serving the students. Already as many as 40 bottles of white wine were drunk per table, what meant there were many students on the verge of collapsing. Still, a few resisted and headed on to Discos, where they finished the job drinking a few mint absint shots. Panasqueira had almost fell on the ground from all the drinking. Smoking a few cigarrettes for good fortune, he grabs a girl for himself and asks her for a quicky in a dark corner, to which she immediately accepts. There was no cause of concern. Most women lost their virginity with their boyfriends by the age of 14, just as they entered High School. Parents had become very lax on discipline for some time now, partially because they didn't want a large group of drunkard cops banging at their doors to enforce the law.

Abortion clinics had been legalized as well, what completely finished the chances of contraceptive companies to flourish in Portugal. Moreover, though AIDS and other diseases spread like wild fire, it was alright, since no one wanted to live a boring adult life... Though the few that survived unscratched from the academic life had to sustain the lazy pieces of crap on top.

Finished with his quicky, Panasqueira grabs himself another girl, and heads back home to repeat the endless cicle of govermental/academic life....