NationStates Jolt Archive

Capitol crimes in the Empire of Cotland, and their punishment


Hiding an enemy of the state : Death by hanging

Pedophilia : Death by gorilla

Terrorism : Death by electrocution

Arson : Death by hanging

Rape : Death by gorilla

Murder : Death by hanging/minefield

Piracy : Death by hanging

Treason : Death by hanging/minefield

3rd illegal entry to Cotland : Death by minefield

Desertion (military) : Death by neckshot

Cowardice (military) : Death by neckshot



Notes:

- "Death by gorilla" means just that. The person in question are soaked with female gorilla scent and locked into a cage filled with horny male gorillas. They will rape the person untill he/she are dead.

- "Death by minefield" means that the person in question is dropped into a minefield (4km x 4 km) and must make his/her way to safety. If he/she is successful, the sentence is transformed to life imprisonment without the possibility of parole.

- This thread is for informational purposes. Feel free to tell me what you think though.

How do you make sure the gorillas are horny?

First off: What if the gorillas are homosexual? Secondly: Is there really any need for these elaborate methods of execution? It just seems like a terrible waste of work and money. I mean- a minefield for one convict? The only thing close to that we do is send our convicts into the Deathtrap Forest, just for training the animals (laugh now, but when the invaders are being devoured by tigers, we're going to be the ones chuckling). Otherwise, we stick to public beheading, maybe we'll take a hand or a foot first, or maybe we'll flog them in a city square.

How do you make sure the gorillas are horny?

We have our ways... The primary method is to let them get jiggy with a female gorilla, then tranquilize the male and take the female away. When the male wake up, he is still horny, and goes after the first thing that smells like a female, in this case the prisoner.

First off: What if the gorillas are homosexual? Secondly: Is there really any need for these elaborate methods of execution? It just seems like a terrible waste of work and money. I mean- a minefield for one convict? The only thing close to that we do is send our convicts into the Deathtrap Forest, just for training the animals (laugh now, but when the invaders are being devoured by tigers, we're going to be the ones chuckling). Otherwise, we stick to public beheading, maybe we'll take a hand or a foot first, or maybe we'll flog them in a city square.

1) As said earlier on, we have our ways of making sure of that.

2) We do this for two basic reasons. One: The gorilla execution is for those who have commited sexual crimes. They get killed sexually. We feel that it is an appropriate punishment. We use the minefield as a method of entertainment as well as a method of execution. What would you rather have us do? Shoot the bastards? I don't think so...
Second: It's broadcasted live on TV for those who wish to see what happens to those who commit such crimes, serving as a deterent. It's not for nothing that we have an extremely low crime rate in Cotland.

a fascinating look into Cotland justice. In our land there are not prisons. Most convicts are sent to the work camps to the advantage of society for their sentence, while other more violent criminals are conscripted into the Militia Penal Regiments.

They are then implanted with a tracking transponder and command-detonated explosive charge located on the underside of their sternum, and provided they survive the training, serve out their sentences in the Penal Regiments until time served, or until they survive ten mission operations, or one campaign.

By nature a Penal Unit's assignments are often high-threat battle areas, held in reserve in case of wartime.

Thank you. For other crimes we have everything from community service to life imprisonment. Parole does not exist in the Cottish justice system.


Other punishments for various crimes are (small random selection):

Computer crimes : 5 - 35 years imprisonment

Robbery with lethal weapon : 20 - Life imprisonment

Burglary : 10 - 60 years imprisonment

Assault : 10 - 60 years imprisonment (depends on the seriousness of the assault)

Sex with a minor : 5 - 20 years imprisonment

Financial infidelity : 20 - Life imprisonment

Assaulting a government official : Life imprisonment

Drunk driving : 1 - 15 years imprisonment

Note:

- Cotland practise a zero-tolerance policy when it comes to crimes. If you commit one, you pay the price!

1) As said earlier on, we have our ways of making sure of that.

2) We do this for two basic reasons. One: The gorilla execution is for those who have commited sexual crimes. They get killed sexually. We feel that it is an appropriate punishment. We use the minefield as a method of entertainment as well as a method of execution. What would you rather have us do? Shoot the bastards? I don't think so...
Second: It's broadcasted live on TV for those who wish to see what happens to those who commit such crimes, serving as a deterent. It's not for nothing that we have an extremely low crime rate in Cotland.[/QUOTE]

1) But if the gorilla's homosexual, it won't get jiggy with that female in the first place. :fluffle:
2) I realized the gorilla thing just after I posted. Still... kind of nasty. The minefield sounds like great fun, but I still doubt its cost-effectiveness.

Again, we applaud you for your discipline.

Us Tree Hugging Lesbians dont believe in Capitol Punishment, but to each his own.


PS: Pirhana deaths would be cool.

Well, Alexonium is home to atleast 100 refugees on account of cowardice and desrtion from Cotland amred forces alone. Most of them fit right in, but some wet themselves whenever they see a gun.

There are only two capital crimes in my country: Trying to assassinate me, and slandering cheese. *nod*

All Crimes:

First Offence: Hand Chopped off.

Second Offence: Death.

In KHAAAAN we don't mess around.

Well, Alexonium is home to atleast 100 refugees on account of cowardice and desrtion from Cotland amred forces alone. Most of them fit right in, but some wet themselves whenever they see a gun.

You don't shoot refugees on sight? What kind of crazy world is this!?!

Official Imperial Statement

In Doomingsland, we don't tolerate crime at all. In fact, virtualy every concievable crime can be punished the following ways:

Burning at the stake
Crucifixion
Forced entry into the gladiatorial games

Those are the primary punishments, forced entry into the gladiatorial games being for less serious crimes (although you are almost certain to die anyway), crucifixion being for your standard rapists and murderers, and burning at the stake for those guilty of heresy.

1) But if the gorilla's homosexual, it won't get jiggy with that female in the first place. :fluffle:
2) I realized the gorilla thing just after I posted. Still... kind of nasty. The minefield sounds like great fun, but I still doubt its cost-effectiveness.

Again, we applaud you for your discipline.

Thank you.

1) If the gorilla is homosexual, it is transported to the freak zoo and left to live its life there having tourists watching him each time he tries to get jiggy with another homosexual gorilla.

2) The minefield is filled with approx. 300 000 anti-personell mines of various sorts. It's only happened once that the prisoner survives the minewalk. So, each time one explodes, we add two new ones. We have 100 million mines in the storage facilities anyway, so 300 000 here or 300 000 there don't really bother us. It's nasty, but it does the trick. No person that is sane does that sorts of crime after watching the punishment...

Well, Alexonium is home to atleast 100 refugees on account of cowardice and desrtion from Cotland amred forces alone. Most of them fit right in, but some wet themselves whenever they see a gun.

We would very much like to have our citizens returned to us for exec... ehh, interviews of why they left Cotland. Thank you.

Interesting. What do you do to human homosexuals?

Interesting. What do you do to human homosexuals?

Refuse them access to the armed forces and high-ranking official positions.

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=402739 these dart kill in a week of victims infection

Thank you.

1) If the gorilla is homosexual, it is transported to the freak zoo and left to live its life there having tourists watching him each time he tries to get jiggy with another homosexual gorilla.

2) The minefield is filled with approx. 300 000 anti-personell mines of various sorts. It's only happened once that the prisoner survives the minewalk. So, each time one explodes, we add two new ones. We have 100 million mines in the storage facilities anyway, so 300 000 here or 300 000 there don't really bother us. It's nasty, but it does the trick. No person that is sane does that sorts of crime after watching the punishment...



We would very much like to have our citizens returned to us for exec... ehh, interviews of why they left Cotland. Thank you.

Um....NO. They pay joints into our system and they deserve the benefits, just like everyone else. One decided to send a message to you guys:

"The only reason I deserted is because my lieutenant wanted me to have butt sex with him"

Perhaps if you legalized prostitution among your armed forces, you wouldn't have such a problem. Take Lieutenant Abdelwahab here: he is given 2 hours a week off base to 'take care of his needs'.

Can I bring up a couple of suggestions?

Strap them into a chair, and...

Death by Hampsterdance - Self explanatory. Add Hamtaro and you have a sure-fire brain frier.
Death by Dripping Tap - Do you know just how annoying a little dripping tap is?
Death by Navi - Play that 'Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen!' soundtrack from Ocarina of time over... and over... and over...


And here's a more humane one...

Death by tinfoil - This one you might not have picked up on. The execution has to be on a sunny day. 10,000 highly trained men flash the criminal with their tinfoils at once. Their loved ones get them in a convenient little jar.

And one for the theocrats.

Death by Smiting - No, this is not a godmode, just an illusion. A helicopter with capacitor banks and a fine wire (complete with little metal weight) hovers high above the criminal awaiting execution, whilst a nearby chopper masks the sound. The wire is dropped down onto the criminal, and the capacitors are tripped. This causes a 'lightning bolt' to go straight through the wire (which explodes due to voltage) and kill the criminal.