NationStates Jolt Archive

OOC: This a typical Farminan press conference, this means: kidnappings and deaths are not to be unexpected, all communication is done through electronic communicators, national leaders can use these communicators to talk from a safe distance, and all journalists in the media hall have been searched for weapons.

IC:
“His Holiness, Emperor Justinian the First, who presides as Light of Heaven, ruler of Farmina in the name of God.”


Justinian stepped forward in the Imperial White suit, but he maintained the flowing crimson robe of the church.

“As in accordance with the restructuring of the Farminan government, I have been required to appoint a Pope to head the Grey Catholic Church of God; as did Thomas Grey, John Heights, my butchered predecessor and finally myself.”

“It was inevitable that one of the Cardinal’s would become Pope, but each had merit.”

“In the end I choose Cardinal Thomas James Wurts. He has spent many years of loyal dedication. In recent years he has served in Bahbland as permanent ambassador and he ran the Provisional Farminan Authority from Bahbland during the First Rotovia-Farmina War.”

“So I will now appoint one of Farmina’s greatest men of God, one of our greatest diplomats and one of our greatest administrators as Pope.”

“Please put your hands together for Pope Thomas James.”

Former Cardinal Wurts stepped forward in the striking crimson uniform, with patches of white making a contrast.

The new Pope wiped away some tears, “I am honored beyond my years. There is so much to do, so much we can change. I hope to join Justinian his vision for a golden age.”


“Are there any questions for His Holiness the Emperor, or his Holiness the Pope?”

Bump

OOC: The conference is open to all topics.

A stunning likeness of Diplomat LeMark strides forward, having apparently been brave enough to stride straight into the hornet's nest and enter the main hall. He stops a respectful distance in front of the podium, trying to become visible in front of the reporters but not too close. He performs an elaborate bow, almost laying himself on the floor but yet managing, miraculously, to stay balanced in that unlikely position. He maintains his prostration as he poses his question. His communicator is not the one ordinarily issued to national leaders, but instead is a strange looking affair that attaches around his jaw and throat, leaving his hands free. It looks disconcertingly robotic.

"I have but one question, your augustness. What possible changes does this mean for your domestic policies?"

A man walks into the entrance. He is tall, but not heavily built. He wears a trenchcoat which makes him appear a lot bigger than he really is.

"Excuse me, where is the conference actually happening. I think I'm lost."

He has a puzzled expression on his face. His face is scarred, not heavily, but enough to give you a glimpse of what his job may have been some time in the past.

A stunning likeness of Diplomat LeMark strides forward, having apparently been brave enough to stride straight into the hornet's nest and enter the main hall. He stops a respectful distance in front of the podium, trying to become visible in front of the reporters but not too close. He performs an elaborate bow, almost laying himself on the floor but yet managing, miraculously, to stay balanced in that unlikely position. He maintains his prostration as he poses his question. His communicator is not the one ordinarily issued to national leaders, but instead is a strange looking affair that attaches around his jaw and throat, leaving his hands free. It looks disconcertingly robotic.

"I have but one question, your augustness. What possible changes does this mean for your domestic policies?"

"Changes will not be huge," began Pope Thomas James, "Farmina has always taken the Church very seriously. I believe that it will largely be the way the Church is run that will change. I would like to see the abolition of some things like the church tax and the such. I also am interested in the reform of alcohol laws."

A man walks into the entrance. He is tall, but not heavily built. He wears a trenchcoat which makes him appear a lot bigger than he really is.

"Excuse me, where is the conference actually happening. I think I'm lost."

He has a puzzled expression on his face. His face is scarred, not heavily, but enough to give you a glimpse of what his job may have been some time in the past.

The guard said,"Your late, but if you go down to the end of the corridor on your right you will reach the media hall. The guards at the door will search you again. Justinian and the Pope will be on the balcony in the far end of the room, straight in front of you. Oh, and make sure you get a communicator from the door guards."

The guard returned to his pacing.

Bump

bump

A Farminan journalist began to speak, "Your holinesses, surely such strong links between the Church and the state are inappropiate, especially considering there is no God."

Justinian quickly realised this was no reporter, but a member of a subversive organisation.

The subversive continued, "Religion is the opium of the masses keeping them sedated so the capitalists..."

A shot rang out from the balcony on the side of the media hall and the subversive crumpled, a massive hole in the side of his head.

Justinian nodded to the sniper on the balcony, a quiet thankyou, "I must apologise to anyone who got blood of brain matter on their fine clothes. All cleaning expenses shall be covered. I also hope we have no more of that heretic nonsense."

OOC: Does no one care I shot a socialist in the middle of a press conference?

OOC: Is no one going to condemn killing a journo in the middle of a conference?

OOC: Is no one going to condemn killing a journo in the middle of a conference?

OOC: Oh, fine, but I don't want to hear about it the messiness of a modern/future tech conflict should one arise. :cool:

IC:

A holographic form shimmered into view. Raijin Dekker, Commander of Krioval, spoke through its form. "High Priest," he paused and touched his finger to his lips, then smirked. "Sorry - Emperor Justinian. I am personally appalled that you can brook so little dissent to your authority. Murdering a reporter in public viewing is just so tacky, especially in this new millennium. Oh well, having had my Commandership targeted by conservative Catholics, I am beginning to learn a great deal of the mind of such reactionary elements. And considering that one of the conspirators remains alive, I mean that in the most literal sense." One of Raijin's hands appeared to bring something to his mouth, but the image failed to register clearly.

"I am surprised that they would have worked to bomb a Kriovalian cathedral though. I had been unaware that such petty backbiting was common in Christian sects, even the more backward of them. I wonder, though, that religious tensions in my nation have only risen due to your last visit to our capital. Certainly you would have never resorted to interfering in another nation's sovereignty." The Commander laughed dryly. "We are bemused by your imperial ambitions though, Lord Justinian, and while our ethos prohibits direct interference in the goings-on of technologically lesser nations, we will continue to observe the situation with great interest. Oh, and by the way," he paused for dramatic effect, "congratulations to both of you on your new positions. I apologize for detracting from your 'big day'. We can always discuss these matters further in private."

The image turned, as if to walk to the door, and faded. Raijin looked to his Directors. "I'm not sure why we wanted to do that in the first place," he said, resignation evident in his voice.

"Well," Melena offered, "we'll know very soon whether Farmina was behind the attacks in Bralos. Those religious places are almost impossible for the KDI to infiltrate. They can spot an outsider all too easily, and with a madman killing any political opponents..."

"I agree," Kiv said. "We can't sacrifice Kriovalian citizens for this. Let their Emperor make the next move."

(OOC: If tech differences cause problems, we can just pretend we don't exist to each other - but what's the fun in that?)

"Whats you're opinion on us?"

A holographic form shimmered into view. Raijin Dekker, Commander of Krioval, spoke through its form. "High Priest," he paused and touched his finger to his lips, then smirked. "Sorry - Emperor Justinian. I am personally appalled that you can brook so little dissent to your authority. Murdering a reporter in public viewing is just so tacky, especially in this new millennium. Oh well, having had my Commandership targeted by conservative Catholics, I am beginning to learn a great deal of the mind of such reactionary elements. And considering that one of the conspirators remains alive, I mean that in the most literal sense." One of Raijin's hands appeared to bring something to his mouth, but the image failed to register clearly.

"I am surprised that they would have worked to bomb a Kriovalian cathedral though. I had been unaware that such petty backbiting was common in Christian sects, even the more backward of them. I wonder, though, that religious tensions in my nation have only risen due to your last visit to our capital. Certainly you would have never resorted to interfering in another nation's sovereignty." The Commander laughed dryly. "We are bemused by your imperial ambitions though, Lord Justinian, and while our ethos prohibits direct interference in the goings-on of technologically lesser nations, we will continue to observe the situation with great interest. Oh, and by the way," he paused for dramatic effect, "congratulations to both of you on your new positions. I apologize for detracting from your 'big day'. We can always discuss these matters further in private."


Justinian listened to the Krioval message.

So someone hasn't obliterated those annoying rats yet, thought Justinian.

"People of Krioval here me," said Justinian, "You bare ill against us I am aware, for your nation is too weak to defend itself and you are jealous. We offered to share our might and you spat in faces."

"We are strong, I acted strongly here today crushing a subversive, a threat to national stability. Then I look at your nation, unstable with Catholics murdered due to weakness. We act in strength to protect our people. Your government is weak and so your people die."

"And to accuse us of accepting no opposition is also foolish. I allow frequent elections and hundreds of different parties compete for election."

"Let me assure Raijji, it is you who are in error," finished Justinian.

"Whats you're opinion on us?"

Justinian looked at the source of the message and realised that the name was most distasteful, "Well your nation is interested in trade which is good. Trehul is an appropiate name for a nation, so polite. Your sexuality is pervertedly liberal and trees don't hug back."

Raijin was fuming. He turned to look at the assortment of Directors.

"Go ahead," Darvek said, "tell him exactly where he can stick his 'strength', if you catch my meaning."

"Do it politely," Koro added. "No need to provoke a war, but we can't be talked to like that."

"The faithful will never tolerate such slanders against the Kriovalian faith," Andruik continued. "We need to speak vigorously against the slanders of the one-God theocrats."

"One wonders how such people can even exist in this enlightened age." Vakia, the Education Director, was seldom involved in petty diplomatic squabbles such as these, but this time she was livid. "It's like they've never left the Age of Antiquity!"

Raijin thought for several minutes. "Fine. I'll return the compliments that Justinian feels are fit for public consumption."

------------------
The holographic image reappeared. "Heh. Shouldn't have left so fast, it appears." He chuckled. "I give you this, Justinian, you have spirit. Not much for flair though. I mean, when I dealt with the 'incident' in Bralos, I personally dealt with the conspirators. One is currently having his mind raked through by master telepaths. I used to think that the faith of Krioval was bloody until I saw a few of those images."

He took a deep breath and smiled slightly. "As for the other two, I killed one in a hand-to-hand battle in the cathedral's ruins. And I'll admit, I found the experience quite exhilarating. But the best was the other. I sacrificed him in one of our most revered rituals. However, I digress. The mistake I made was in allowing a false Christian to ascend to a Directorship, a concession I made to the citizens of Bralos. It is a mistake that most definitely will not be repeated. Our government is, as we speak, making the necessary changes to achieve that end. We are not a people who are easily broken.

"As to your 'offers', they were rejected because they served Farminan imperial ambitions more than Kriovalian security. As to our people's deaths, it was a plain case of intra-faith strife. The conservative Catholics despised the liberal ones more than we Polytheists, and so they struck. That a Bishop's son was the primary conspirator speaks volumes about his faith, and similar people's faith. You would shoot a person for mere words and you round up 'subversives' on a near-daily basis. More people likely die by your hand than by mine. Go figure." The image of Raijin again began to fade out, but this time, the Kriovalian made sure to lift his head skyward first, and to make the symbolic gesture of thanks to the Kriovalian Gods. It would likely go unrecognized by the rest of the world, but this was for Krioval.

"Murder," hissed Justinian, "If I had my way I would smash you into the ground, but there is no need to accelerate your trip to hell, you will get there anyway."

"We do not as you put it, "round up" subversives every day, they are well in the minority. Good teaching has brought the overwhelming majority of our people in line with God."

"You speak of how you killed people brutally with your own hands. All of Farmina, all of the world hears it, you are savage and brutal, typical polytheist evil."

"I doubt that any conservative Catholic hates liberal Catholics more than Polytheists, and they wouldn't kill them. I suggest other non-Catholic forces in play on these murders."

"You say your mistake was you appointed a false Christian, that is certainly right: you should have appointed a Catholic. See the light or be doomed to hell murderer."

Steward Willhelm wishes to inform the Pope that the title of "Divine" Emperor has been abolished, as his nation wished.

"Of course your 'subversives' are in the vast minority. Purges do tend to reduce the size of opposition groups. I'd hazard to guess that the number declines sharply every year. At least when I say that there is blood on my hands, my dear Emperor, there is actually blood on my hands. I don't hide behind the priestly collar or the scepter of leadership and command my minions to enforce my will. And yes, I enjoyed killing Jonas Kessal and Antonio Selekar. But at least I admit it, unlike *some* I could mention."

Raijin turned to his left, as if listening to a voice. He nodded. "Actually, the conspirators all confessed to being Catholic. Funny how that worked out, isn't it? And awfully convenient for your government that they nearly pulled off their little stunt. So please don't take it too personally that I feel you are just as guilty of murder as any Kriovalian. Should I be bound to hell, Justinian, I ask that you reserve a seat for me. I assure you that I will be arriving after you do. Now if you will excuse me, I have an Empire...I mean, Republic, to run. I remain, Lord Commander Raijin Dekker Darklighter, the Light, in service to humanity." Raijin Dekker smiled beatifically at the assemblage before dissolving yet again.

Steward Willhelm wishes to inform the Pope that the title of "Divine" Emperor has been abolished, as his nation wished.
"We are of course glad," said Emperor Justinian, "It is something we have long insisted on."

"Of course your 'subversives' are in the vast minority. Purges do tend to reduce the size of opposition groups. I'd hazard to guess that the number declines sharply every year. At least when I say that there is blood on my hands, my dear Emperor, there is actually blood on my hands. I don't hide behind the priestly collar or the scepter of leadership and command my minions to enforce my will. And yes, I enjoyed killing Jonas Kessal and Antonio Selekar. But at least I admit it, unlike *some* I could mention."

Raijin turned to his left, as if listening to a voice. He nodded. "Actually, the conspirators all confessed to being Catholic. Funny how that worked out, isn't it? And awfully convenient for your government that they nearly pulled off their little stunt. So please don't take it too personally that I feel you are just as guilty of murder as any Kriovalian. Should I be bound to hell, Justinian, I ask that you reserve a seat for me. I assure you that I will be arriving after you do. Now if you will excuse me, I have an Empire...I mean, Republic, to run. I remain, Lord Commander Raijin Dekker Darklighter, the Light, in service to humanity." Raijin Dekker smiled beatifically at the assemblage before dissolving yet again.

"Well we shall have no more of that," said Justinian, pressing a button to stop Raijin addressing the conference from afar. All further messages would have to go through indirect routes.


To Lord Commander Raijin Dekker Darklight

Farmina is most unimpressed with your implications. We would never aid a plot that saw Catholics dead. Furthermore a failed plot against you is inconvenient, if it had succeeded that would be another matter. We also find your manners poor.

We shall be replaying parts of the conference on TV, namely when you say "I enjoyed killing Jonas Kessal and Antonio Selekar." Farminan society will remember you as a murderer of Catholics.

Thomas Goth
Chancellor of Foriegn Affairs

"It may have come to late, though. You are aware of the Emperors recent suicide attempt, right?"

"It may have come to late, though. You are aware of the Emperors recent suicide attempt, right?"

"We are both well aware," said the Pope, "It is unfortunate and we all pray for him."

"And we've finally been blocked," Koro said, satisfaction evident on his face. "Took 'em long enough though."

"Can we punch through?" Darvek asked.

"Could," Varik said, "our technology is up to the challenge. But then, just because we can do something doesn't mean we should. I mean, we could probably vaporize their capital from orbit, but we'd be sacked by half the world if we did."

"Let them have their day," the Commander concluded. "It's their Pope's coronation after all. But transmit a quick burst of static. I want them to know that we could interfere, but that we choose not to."

"Done."
---------------------
To Lord Commander Raijin Dekker Darklight

Farmina is most unimpressed with your implications. We would never aid a plot that saw Catholics dead. Furthermore a failed plot against you is inconvenient, if it had succeeded that would be another matter. We also find your manners poor.

We shall be replaying parts of the conference on TV, namely when you say "I enjoyed killing Jonas Kessal and Antonio Selekar." Farminan society will remember you as a murderer of Catholics.

Thomas Goth
Chancellor of Foriegn Affairs

Dear Chancellor Goth,

First, our Commander's title is "Darklighter", which refers to his status as High Paladin. That you cut it short is either due to gross ignorance or blatant disregard for superiority, but it is of little matter. Krioval finds that while our manners may not be up to the latest in Farminan hypocritical double standards, yours would make a Kriovalian cargo deliverer wince with horror. Furthermore, we are appalled at your total lack of both diplomatic skill and finesse. Killing traitors is one thing, while killing an atheist for simply being an atheist is quite another.

You may replay whichever parts of the conference you choose. Naturally, Krioval sees no reason to quote or display your leadership out of its context; your speech and actions speak quite clearly by themselves. We don't need to censor or alter our media for your boorishness to come across plain as day. That you had wished for our great leader's death in any way has pushed our two powers to the brink of conflict as it is. Granted, we can't truly think that you were at all behind it simply because the attack, while bearing your signature sloppiness, also had an air of sophistication not yet seen in your backward nation. Krioval suggests that you refrain from your trademark belligerence and actually consider joining the civilized world. Should you wish to accept, we may see fit to host a summit. Should you not, another 'meeting' can be arranged. Good day to you.

Lord Koro Vartek
Director, KDT
Armed Republic of Krioval

A skinny and frantic messenger knocked on the door of the conference room.

"Excuse me, but I was instructed to leave this in here. Rest assured that it has been screened, and the security people told me there was nothing dangerous in it."

Without waiting for a response, the young man dumped the parcel on the floor and scampered from the room. Immediately, a whirring noise issued forth, and the package began to hiss. Because it was a Freudotopian self-opening box, it was no more than thirteen seconds before the leaders and assorted journalists in the hall were faced with an utterly unremarkable boot. In a trice the silence was broken by the disembodied voice coming from inside it. In a shrill, insistent voice, it began reading the entries of the Encyclopediae Freudotopiae, a twenty-five volume work considered by many to be the most comprehensive encyclopedia ever. Starting with aaabat, a rare amphibian from the Freudotopian forests, it continued with the A's. Something would have to be done, or this device would go down in history as the Most Irritating Package Delivered to an International Press Conference.

"An encyclopedia inside a boot?" Varik asked. "Incredible application of rather mundane technology, if you ask me."

"Should we contact them?" Koro looked at Raijin.

"Sure, why not?"

----------------

Krioval wishes to know more about the Ruthless Imperium of Freudotopia at your earliest convenience. We very much approve of your self-opening box/boot/encyclopedia combination and think that we could possibly learn much from one another.

Lord Koro Vartek
Director, KDT

A skinny and frantic messenger knocked on the door of the conference room.

"Excuse me, but I was instructed to leave this in here. Rest assured that it has been screened, and the security people told me there was nothing dangerous in it."

Without waiting for a response, the young man dumped the parcel on the floor and scampered from the room. Immediately, a whirring noise issued forth, and the package began to hiss. Because it was a Freudotopian self-opening box, it was no more than thirteen seconds before the leaders and assorted journalists in the hall were faced with an utterly unremarkable boot. In a trice the silence was broken by the disembodied voice coming from inside it. In a shrill, insistent voice, it began reading the entries of the Encyclopediae Freudotopiae, a twenty-five volume work considered by many to be the most comprehensive encyclopedia ever. Starting with aaabat, a rare amphibian from the Freudotopian forests, it continued with the A's. Something would have to be done, or this device would go down in history as the Most Irritating Package Delivered to an International Press Conference.

Justinian turned bright red. "Destroy it."

Two guards picked up the talkative shoe and took it outside, where they had to work out what to do with it.

Dear Chancellor Goth,

First, our Commander's title is "Darklighter", which refers to his status as High Paladin. That you cut it short is either due to gross ignorance or blatant disregard for superiority, but it is of little matter. Krioval finds that while our manners may not be up to the latest in Farminan hypocritical double standards, yours would make a Kriovalian cargo deliverer wince with horror. Furthermore, we are appalled at your total lack of both diplomatic skill and finesse. Killing traitors is one thing, while killing an atheist for simply being an atheist is quite another.

You may replay whichever parts of the conference you choose. Naturally, Krioval sees no reason to quote or display your leadership out of its context; your speech and actions speak quite clearly by themselves. We don't need to censor or alter our media for your boorishness to come across plain as day. That you had wished for our great leader's death in any way has pushed our two powers to the brink of conflict as it is. Granted, we can't truly think that you were at all behind it simply because the attack, while bearing your signature sloppiness, also had an air of sophistication not yet seen in your backward nation. Krioval suggests that you refrain from your trademark belligerence and actually consider joining the civilized world. Should you wish to accept, we may see fit to host a summit. Should you not, another 'meeting' can be arranged. Good day to you.

Lord Koro Vartek
Director, KDT
Armed Republic of Krioval

"Chancellor," began Peter Vernis.
"Grand Chancellor," replied Thomas Goth.
"Do not be drawn by Krioval's ignorance," said Vernis, "They try to goad us, but we shall not allow it. We will come for them but not today, bigger things are afoot."
"Bigger things, my lord?"
Vernis replied, "Yes, we shall continue our revenge against the murderers of Farminans, the murderer of other Catholics can wait."
"Surely we can't allow them to insult us like this?" asked Goth.
"Insult them with silence, nothing else," replied Vernis.

"Dear Pope, what do you think about us?


President Bozo the 4th
http://www.urban.dk/evil_clown.jpg

"Dear Pope, what do you think about us?


President Bozo the 4th


"Any you would be?" asked the Pope, completely unaware of the nation of EKC.

"As our nations name suggests, we are a nation made up of evil, murderous, clowns. We like to taunt people with our craaaaaaaaaaazy laughs and antics before killing them. Our nation is a dark, rainy place, full of stupid teen agers whom find it necesarry to ravish each other when just earlier that day, there were reports of an escaped lunatic in the area! Huh-ha!"

"As our nations name suggests, we are a nation made up of evil, murderous, clowns. We like to taunt people with our craaaaaaaaaaazy laughs and antics before killing them. Our nation is a dark, rainy place, full of stupid teen agers whom find it necesarry to ravish each other when just earlier that day, there were reports of an escaped lunatic in the area! Huh-ha!"

The Pope listened to the talking then replied, "Well Farmina doesn't like evil, murderous nations, and neither do I. We need no more of the likes of Krioval. The world needs countries with benevolant Catholic governments that keep people on the straight and narrow, as opposed to a nation like yours where 'stupid teenagers ravish each other.' Government must be strong."