NationStates Jolt Archive

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Republic of Rezlas Says Malthusian Checks, Not Welfare Checks!

Centraile, Rezlas TODAYS DATE – President Jeffries announced today the elimination of welfare benefits to Rezlasnian citizens. “I believe in Malthusian checks, not welfare checks. Those that are currently holding back our economy will be required to pull their weight.” Stated Jeffries. When asked what optyions those currently out of work have President Jeffries replied “There is always room in the military he in Rezlas, however there is no room for laziness of inefficiency. Those looking for a free ride can either get to work or start looking for another nation to live in.”

In unrelated news 350 “revolutionaries” were sent to reeducation camps.

About The Republic of Rezlas
Location: The East Pacific
The Republic of Rezlas is a large, economically powerful nation, notable for its complete absence of social welfare. Its hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 20 million are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.
The tiny, corrupt, moralistic, pro-business government devotes most of its attentions to Law & Order, with areas such as Social Welfare and Healthcare receiving almost no funds by comparison. Income tax is unheard of. A powerhouse of a private sector is led by the Retail, Pizza Delivery, and Basket Weaving industries.
The latest Harry Potter book is a bestseller, scientists regularly clone human beings for research purposes, bicyclists are banned from major roads, and citizens are barcoded to keep track of their movements. Crime is moderate. Rezlas's national animal is the panther, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its currency is the rezlas.

The Government of The Peoples Republic of Drunken FratBoy Island publicly deplores the actions of the Capitalist Pig-Dog oppressors of The Republic of Rezlas. All of a nations citizens should have their needs provided for by the government. If certain people are having difficulty finding employment then it is the responsibility of the rich money-grubbing upper class to provide for them untill they can become functioning members of society once again. We hereby extened refugee status to all of the oppressed people of Rezlas. If your crudely made boats and innertubes reach our shores you will be received with open arms as fellow comrades. Furthermore we demand the release of all freedom fighters from your propaganda camps!

With much regret,
Hernando Wolksvagen,
Minister of foreign affairs

The People's Republic of Drunken FratBoy Island is a small, safe nation, renowned for its compulsory military service. Its compassionate, cynical population of 14 million are ruled with an iron fist by the socialist government, which grants its people the freedom to do whatever they like so long as it doesn't involve getting richer than anybody else or challenging the government.The enormous government devotes most of its attentions to Social Welfare, with areas such as Social Equality and Law & Order receiving almost no funds by comparison. The average income tax rate is 36%, but much higher for the wealthy. A substantial private sector is led by the Book Publishing industry, followed by Uranium Mining and Automobile Manufacturing.
Meat-eating is frowned upon, the alarmingly racist TV show 'Bigtopians Say the Darndest Things' is a hit, the tenet of free speech is held dear, and scientists regularly clone human beings for research purposes. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is totally unknown. Drunken FratBoy Island's national animal is the Duck, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its currency is the Beer. Location: Canada

Oddly enough about 5000 "refugees" appear off the coast of The Peoples Republic of Drunken FratBoy Island requesting permission to seek shelter. Will you accept them?