NationStates Jolt Archive

:sniper: :mp5: :gundge:

Wokongolia makes an official declaration of war against The republic of Simpica.

May I ask why?
-Zeek, High Lord of the Tunnels, Supreme Master of the Demonic Gopher Army

.::General Jose Magnol furiously bursts into the office of El Presidente Simpson with a tape in hand and lays it in front of him. Presidente Simpson stands, and looks at the tape::.

GJM: This was recorded at midnight last night from Wokongolia. Its'a message from Premier Danski Grubbov. I think you better take a looka for yourself El Presidente!

.::El Presidente Simpson puts the tape into a VCR located within his office. The pair watch as Premier Danski Grubbov unleashes a verbal attack on Simpica. The pair look on in shock as the Premier then declears war on their humble and free land. The tape stops and silence fills the room::.

EPS: Ioh mi Dios! We cannot justa stand back and let our noble country be Wokongolias biatch! We must prepare for war, go General Magnol! We will attack in the dead of night! The first strick will be ours! Idesea el simpica vivo! Imuerte a toda esa cara ella!

Understandably, the declaration of war that Premier Danski had sent was not spoken lightly. Our great Premier Danski was ready to unleash the full force of armoured might against Simpicas weak and feeble group of hare krishna mexicanos. In the dead of night the first Simpica tanks rolled against the glint of a full moon, their tremendous engines roaring and heaving across the borderland.

Wokongolia tanks responded by hiding in hay sheds and hay bales ready to pound the enemy tanks as they passed. High flying bombers soared through the night sky dropping their payload of napalm on the hapless front line bases of the Simpica army. Many tanks from both sides lay wrecked from the ensuing battle and heavy artillery from both sides ripped up the countryside.

A voice transmission from Premier Danski:
"Amigo Simpica, I suggest your troops lay down their weapons unless you want to see their women and children massacered when we crush your tiny nation into the ground!"

Zeek, High Lord of the Tunnels, Supreme Master of the Demonic Gopher Army:

The republic of Simpica decided for mere trivial reasons that war be declared on my peoples. I could only respond in this way in order to protect my people and our principles.

:sniper: :mp5: :gundge:

Wokongolia makes an official declaration of war against The republic of Simpica.

...

Understandably, the declaration of war that Premier Danski had sent was not spoken lightly. Our great Premier Danski was ready to unleash the full force of armoured might against Simpicas weak and feeble group of hare krishna mexicanos. In the dead of night the first Simpica tanks rolled against the glint of a full moon, their tremendous engines roaring and heaving across the borderland.

Wokongolia tanks responded by hiding in hay sheds and hay bales ready to pound the enemy tanks as they passed. High flying bombers soared through the night sky dropping their payload of napalm on the hapless front line bases of the Simpica army. Many tanks from both sides lay wrecked from the ensuing battle and heavy artillery from both sides ripped up the countryside.

A voice transmission from Premier Danski:
"Amigo Simpica, I suggest your troops lay down their weapons unless you want to see their women and children massacered when we crush your tiny nation into the ground!"

"The nation of Wokongolia is advised to back down, lest the Minister of Defence find Wokongolia suitable for colonization. If Wokongolia does not pull back, we will invade Wokongolia with extreme prejudice. And our annual military budget is several times Wokongolia's GDP.

The official reason for such an invasion, should it occur, will be smiley-whoring. Remember, only YOU can prevent smiley-whoring!"

Ministry of Foreign Affairs
The Evil Empire of Evil Woody Thoughts

The Evil Empire of Evil Woody Thoughts:

I'd like to make it clear that it was in fact the Republic of Simpica that declared war on my nation, not vice versa. It was also this republic that engaged in a pre emptive strike against my country, and I do not wish for this conflict to escalate into needless further conflict with other nations.

A mondothian Military Task force has been expedited to the conflict area, any hostilities will result in immediate and deadly military action.

The Evil Empire of Evil Woody Thoughts:

I'd like to make it clear that it was in fact the Republic of Simpica that declared war on my nation, not vice versa. It was also this republic that engaged in a pre emptive strike against my country, and I do not wish for this conflict to escalate into needless further conflict with other nations.

You declare war on Simpica at 10:20 GMT

Simpica declares war on you at 10:39 GMT

We are somewhat confused as to how Simpica declared war on you before you declared war on them.

Furthermore, a basic tenet of our foreign policy involves humbling n00bs who think that they are more powerful than they really are.

Ministry of Foreign Affairs
The Evil Empire of Evil Woody Thoughts

.:: El Presidente Simpson is asleep in his office chair taking a siesta from the midday sun, when General Jose Magnol knocks and enters the rooms. He is reading through some an armful of notes and files. El Presidente Simpson awakes and anctously jumps up and greats General Magnol ::.

GJM: We have word on last nights surprise attack...

EPS: And?!

GJM: IJesús, qué un lío! It was not such a surpise! Premier Danski must of planned against our first attack. Our light tanks were mearly cannon fodder!

EPS: This means a change of tactics. We must be like the snake, who slithers un noticed behinds it prey until... it is to late......

.:: Cut to: As night falls over the main port between Wokongolia and Simpica, a small black raft floats into the doc unnoticed. 3 hyspanic men silently jump off the boat and creep towars a waiting vehicle. The 3 men climb into the back and the vehicle drives slowly inland towards a large warehouse. The vehcile stops numours times at different security stations until it reaches its final destination ::.

1st man: This should be it, this is the warehoue supposdly holding the bulk of the Premiers large bombers. If we destroy these, the Premier could call off the war if he sees how dangerous our small country is. Take a bomber each, strap the C4 to underneath and meet back here. move silently so not to arouse suspision...

.:: There are three huge bomber planes held within this ware house. Each man takes a plane each. the first man successfully straps his payload and returns. Then, all of a suddern a siren is heard, Wokongolian forces flood the room. The two Simpican men fla towarss the truck but fall as bullets rain down on them. The truck wheel spins and speeds out of the warehouse. It drives straight off the pier and splashes into the sea. As the truck splashes down an explosion is heard in the background and black smoke fills the night sky...::.

The Evil Empire of Evil Woody Thoughts:
War was in fact declared on our nation via other means of communication.
If Presidente Simpson can be engaged in talks before further bloodshed occurs, then I am willing to cooperate, but this is unlikely to happen. Any foreign troops on our soil in the mean time will be attacked for their hostile activities.

I'd like to highlight the fact that our nation is at least engaging in talks with neibouring countries, something which the Republic of Simpica has failed to do.

The foreign minister, representing Premier Danski Grubov

The Evil Empire of Evil Woody Thoughts:
War was in fact declared on our nation via other means of communication.
If Presidente Simpson can be engaged in talks before further bloodshed occurs, then I am willing to cooperate, but this is unlikely to happen. Any foreign troops on our soil in the mean time will be attacked for their hostile activities.

I'd like to highlight the fact that our nation is at least engaging in talks with neibouring countries, something which the Republic of Simpica has failed to do.

The foreign minister, representing Premier Danski Grubov

"Simpica, if these allegations are not disproven, we will annex BOTH Simpica and Wokongolia."

Ministry of Foreign Affairs
The Evil Empire of Evil Woody Thoughts

(maybe we aint "nOObs" thinking were more powerful than we are. maybe were just ahaving fun) :D

In response to the recent attack on Wokongolia aircraft, the nation of Wokongolia plans a three pronged attack begginning in the early morning, utilising all varities of military equipment. The attack begins at 6am, but lacks substantial air cover due to bomber repairs and replacement.
Wokongolia directs troops and tanks into key Simpica border towns, eliminating all elements of government power in these towns.

As the tanks roll into the town, Simpica helicopter gunships lock targets onto them. The ground troops respond with what they can by using rpgs. A helicopter is hit, spiralling into the local tequila bar and killing many civilians. Chaos ensues throughout the towns as both sides grasp for control.

Zeek, High Lord of the Tunnels, Supreme Master of the Demonic Gopher Army:

The republic of Simpica decided for mere trivial reasons that war be declared on my peoples. I could only respond in this way in order to protect my people and our principles.

You might have announced that Simpica was threatening your people, and asked for assistance. May I send a force to your land to monitor the situation?

-Zeek


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Do we have any strongholds near this 'Wokongolia'?"

"Yes, Commander. There's a tunnel complex in the wilderness less than a day's digging from the border."

"Excellent. I want that tunnel started immediately."

OOC: Is there anything below ground in your country that I should know about?

(maybe we aint "nOObs" thinking were more powerful than we are. maybe were just ahaving fun) :D

OOC: The smiley-whoring in the first post of this thread gave me a bad first impression, heh heh heh.

IC: "Your nation had better get around to disproving Wonkongolia's allegations, before we invade the lot of ya."

--Random Evil Woody Thoughts Diplomat

Zeek, High Lord of the Tunnels, Supreme Master of the Demonic Gopher Army:
I would like to inform you that there is indeed underground military instilations which hold both biological and chemical weapons.

You may monitor the situation, but only under the eye of one of the diplomats from our country, to keep relations open and gain further intelligence. I request that you ensure he does not come to harm. Would this be a possibility?

That sounds perfectly reasonable. Where shall my people meet this diplomat of yours?

-Zeek

OOC: OOC=Out of character. This means it's a question to the player, rather than the country. None of the characters in an RP know OOC information; it is simply given to make the writing easier and more accurate.

.:: The border town of Vistala has been invaded by Wokongolian troops and light tanks. Inside a delapidated building, a small group of Simpica militia are preparing for urban conflict. Some our rounding up ammo, some are mapping our routes, while others check thier kevla ponchos. The leader of this militia, Miguel Joseous rise up to brief his troops ::.

MJ: This is our time, are we mice? or are we vicsous chiwawa?!

Everyone: Yeah! Chiwawa!!!

MJ: So men, let us go for and fight for Simpica!!

.:: The men all run out or the building with an AK in one hand and tequila in the other. Four men run eastwards towards an burnt out Wokongolian tank while the other four, including Joseous moves westwards behind a wall to cover them selves from the Wokongolian gun fire. ::.

MJ: You, go and run past the gun fire and see what we are up againy, RUN!

.:: The young hyspanic man runs out of the cover and into the gun fire. immediatly a bullet hits him in his face. his head explods into a bloody mess. The remaining militia see this and begin to cry. they run back the delapidated building holding onto each other. Miguel Joseous is left alone. Through a crack in the wall he sees what he is up against, the first wave of Wokongolian troops. Around 15 troops and 2 light tanks. He looks for his grenades, then realises his two desserts were carrying them. Miguel knows this is the end of him. Until he looks down and sees two bottles of tequila. He takes a swig from both and stuffs a bit of torn off sombreo into the neck and lights the top. Realiseing the troops are two far way to throuh at, he runs towrs them. He nows it suicide, but at least it will bide his people more time. He reaches the center of the Wokongolian forces when, his mexican cocktail explodes into a ball of flames. Englafing the Wokongolian first wave of opposing force. ::.

That sounds perfectly reasonable. Where shall my people meet this diplomat of yours?

-Zeek

OOC: OOC=Out of character. This means it's a question to the player, rather than the country. None of the characters in an RP know OOC information; it is simply given to make the writing easier and more accurate.

IC: I suggest that one of your represetatives spends an evening in our hall of government affairs where he can meet a high status foreign affairs minister that would suffice to our diplomatic needs before any investigating into our region takes place.
-Josoph Plevianski, representative to Premier Danski

Slowly the door to a medium sized office opens.
"SIR! it appears that a war has broken out, SIR!" said a young, but battle hardend soldier.
"Well do the usual, send a man out to offer our services to the highest bidder," said Cyrus Lanier, the leader of The Mercenary State of Nation of Fortune
"Sir Yes Sir!"

----------


A Hummers mounted with a .50 cal pulled into the relatively small nation of Wokongolia, and an identical one pulled into Simpica. They were both flying the colors of NoF (http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/nation_of_fortune.jpg) They both pulled up to the capitol of the respective nation's and out stepped a man, surrounded by three men guards each. One man stayed and manned the .50 cal. the men and their guards made their way into the capital,
"I have a proposition for your leader," he said the seceretary.

The Foreign Minister of Lancamore hunched anxiously over the fax machine, reading report after report of escalating violence between Simpica and Wokongolia. Finally, he stood and strode quickly to the office of the Patriarch, a stack of reports clutched to his chest.

"My Patriarch, the war in Simpica has spiraled out of control. This is an all-out war for sure."

"Minister, you know our policy regarding foreign wars. These countries do not border us, nor does their dispute threaten us. Our ideals, however, dictate that we strain every muscle in the pursuit of peace and justice."

"Strain every muscle? Are you suggesting...."

"You know very well what I am suggesting, Minister. Activate the DIPLOMACHINE!"

...

Alarms blare and sirens flash in the top secret confines of the DIPLOMACHINE bunker. The commander enters the keys and codes, and throws the switch. The mighty machine hums to life.

An endless spew of protests, outrage, threats of serious consequenses, resolutions, sanctions, and rhetoric begin to pour out of the top, spreading to every government, consulate, and media outlet in the world.

"Very good, Minister. I believe we may now consider the situation in Simpica to be resolved. We have done all we can do."

Representative Plevianski:

Very well. A representative has been sent, and will arrive shortly.

-Zeek

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A short time later, a tiny aircraft approached the border of Wokongolia.


Meanwhile, the tunnel had also reached the border. Coming to the surface only rarely, the D.G. diggers continued onwards...