NationStates Jolt Archive

High above the planet, orbiting in silent deadliness, are the New Darkmentian military space satillites. Their systems are top-of-the-line, their high-power laser weapons; state-of-the-art. (They'd better be, the government paid enough for them). All they await, is the order to strike.

A button is pushed. A signal is sent. A pre-emptive strike begins.

"D-sat unit back on-line--and commencing system location of target. Target locked--system locked--and beginning activation--now."

The target: the small, misguided nation of New Redheads.

"A-sat unit back on-line--and commencing system location of target. Target locked--system locked--and beginning activation--now."
"R-sat unit back on-line--"
"K-sat unit back on-line--"
"M-sat unit back on-line--'
"E-sat unit back on-line"
"N-sat unit back on-line"
"T-sat unit back on-line"
"I-sat unit back on-line"
"A-sat2 unit back on-line"

"DARKMENTIA orbital weapons system back on-line and fully functional. Awaiting attack order confirmation."

But the Controller is not comepletely unfair. He gives the President of New Redheads time to respond, and sends him an official declaration of war.

From: The Empire of New Darkmentia
To: The President of the Free Land of The New Redheads

This is an official declaration of war against your nation. It is our intent that your nation be conquered into the New Darkmentian Empire. If you surrender now, this can be done peacefully and easily. However, it is this Government's opinion that killing a few million of you might be fun, so war is upon you now. Please feel free to raise whatever feeble defense you feel is necessary, it will do you no good in the long run.

-The Desk of the Controller of the New Darkmentian Empire

Oh Lordship of New Darkmentia,

I, Dictator of Jessoria is humbly asking permission to aid you in nuking these bastards out, and to you Redheads... :sniper:

The New Redheads/New Dark...

I thought this was going to be about hair colour... :headbang:

DIE YOU REDHEAD SCUM!!!...I will assist agenst this...ummmm i wouldent rilly call it a war more like a.....unfair slaughter redheads: :) :mp5:<---ME

The response of the new redheads president is one of ignorance. The members of the New Darkmentian Empire grow impatient.

***
In the Capital, strategic operations are being carried out by the Controller and his top generals on what to an otusider would appear to be a giant Risk board.

"Sir? Shouldn't we begin the attack?"

The Controller considers this. "Yes, yes of course. But in what order? New Afador suggests orbital bombardment, invasion, nukes, occupation. What do you suggest?"

"I reccommend a tactical nuclear strikes on military targets, followed by a orbital bombardment on remaining cities and civillian targets until they surrender, followed by invasion by an occupational force which will supplant the government and set up any military governors or occupational government."

"Of course, General Skunt, you always make the best suggestions. Continue with the operation, you may fire when ready."

***
The orders are relayed to the DARKMENTIA space platform, and almost immediately, an immensely powerful green laser beam, reminisicient of the Death Star from the Star Wars movies, begins firing upon The new redheads.
***

"Excellant."

Hawaii will support the New Redheads to even out this situation.

OOC: Uh...have you guys started to travel to other worlds!? Do you have spacecraft? If you do, then I'll RP...if you don't mind...

With the order given, the New Darkmentian satillites begin laser bombardment of all military targets in The New Redheads.

i'm not backing down new darkmentia i'm going to fight!! :gundge:

Ummm redheads if you dident notice darkmentia is alredy bombing your miliatary targets and plus we have our nuke amed at you reddy for the signal...BYE!

Oh my god.

n00bs...

ic lord sephrioth advises booth nations to stand down a use diplomacy or the sephriothionan armed forces will pacifiy the sittuation.

As darkness approaches...and the Hawaiin and Redhead Army slumbers, a silent bomardment of napalm is strewn across they're camp, well, it's not silent anymore. The Psychotic Army of Jessora storms the delinquents in their sleep, we know how this plays out...


"Excellent" :mp5: :mp5: :mp5: :mp5: :sniper: :gundge:

During last nights raid of an enemy outpost, many Jessorian soldiers were lost, but thanks to our well trained Hawks, we were able to scout out the enemies escape route and cut it off. Some Redheads escaped, but the majority were captured. Our generals and purely psychotic others are planning on throwing them in our uranium pits or feeding them to the hawks.

"sir, what order shall we give?"
"AHEHEHEHE, KILL THEM ALL!"
"Right away sir"

In the end, we fed them to our hawks in an inescapable uranium pit"
:D

2 vengace supper fortresses drop down from high orbit

we warned you

...BRING IT ON...supper couldent you have come up with a better name hahahahaha tho it could just to deseve me but oh well...heh..supper lol

2000 phaser banks fire up on New Afador

heh i like to see those phaser banks get past my regional shield i have over my nation and the rest of the new darkmentian empire i installed it 2 days ago
lol silly Sephroioth and by the way 2 nukes are about to hit one of your fortress in about 3...2...1

boom

As battles take place in the skies above, a barely noticeable wave of grass is moving across the plains of New Redheads. The wave of grass? Highly trained and funded Jessorian Troops. A General Speaks

"Ah look at them, completely oblivious to our movements. Men, we attack in..now"

On the outskirts of the Capital of New Reheads, all is peaceful, but there is still some nervousness about the close attack on an outpost of troops earlier this week. Many know that the Jessorians are coming, but not when. By the time they realize that they are under attack, it is too late. Jessorian war vehicles scream through an industrial complex, wherein a barracks of unprepared Redhead soldiers lie. The nation is focussed on long range attacks, and their defences are week. The soldiers are are killed by more napalm. Jessorian troops hold up the industrial section of the city as a stronghold..knowing that if the New Redheads government was to drop a bomb on this section, their economy would severely drop.
"That's enough work for today"

While the Darkmentian military satillites continue to bombard Redhead's military structures, including academies, missile silos, harbours, and other bases,Jessoria has captured an industrial complex. Also, Afador is fighting off related attacks from Sephrioth, while Hawaii has yet to make a move.

***

Meanwhile, high above, construction crews begin working on the new nuclear orbital weapons platforms, and upgrade the satillites to the level of the new weapons platforms.

***
The conduct of Jessoria worries (is that possible?) the Controller of New Darkmentia.
"Take a letter," he orders to a nearby clerk. "To the Leader of Jessoria; while we appreciate your support, your military is getting in the way of our orbital bombardment. Please withdraw."
"Take another letter..."
***

Official Communique to Sephrioth from the New Darkmentian Empire:
It is duly noted the irony of your current actions.
The END and NDE governments have always despised the habit of large nations to become involved in wars between small nations in which they do not belong. This sort of thing always escalates things to the uncontrollable level of World War. As you on neither side, please get your nose out of our business.
Also, it is duly noted that you entered this war to prevent the usage of nuclear weapons. While this is a...*uggh*...noble...cause, it must be told that the usage of nuclear weapons is considered to be, by this government (ie. me), a threat at best and a last-ditch effort at most. We commonly use nuclear weapons use as a threat to get an enemy to SURRENDER so a war of conquest can be ended quickly and easily with minimal loss of life. So nukes were not going to be seriously used.
However, you stupid moralistic nations always get involved in an attempt to stop us, and you now find yourself in the ironic positon of having nukes fired at you: in other words; we weren't going to use nukes, then you entered to prevent nuke usage and now you yourself are being nuked. You have brought about the very thing you were going to prevent.
Ha!
***

"Sir!" cries a nearby five-star general. "May we proceed with the attack plan?"
"Negative," the Controller replies, "continue with bombardment. The plan remains the same, but change to schedule Baker-Gamma-Hawking."

Oh, and Sephrioth. I must point out a few more things to you:

1. You asked that we do not use nukes. Then, Jessoria conducted a raid on Redheads. You then said "We warned you" and attacked New Afador, who blocked with a shield (ratehr godmodingly I MIGHT ADD) So, we never used nukes, and you attacked us. Who's the belligerant party now, hmmm?
2. 2000 phaser banks? PHASERS? Well, if you attack my friends with phasers I will have to take my +6 Klingon Battle Cruiser and smack you in the face with it. (I could never have believed someone with 2.something or other billion people would act so noobingly)


Oh, and New ReDHEads? This war is AGAINST YOU so if you want to NOT die, I suggest you DO something you pansy!

Okay, I'm done now.

As Jessorian forces continually increase the area of their control over New Redheads, a letter was recieved from the Controller by a very worn out 7 year old child. The letter read: "To the Leader of Jessoria; while we appreciate your support, your military is getting in the way of our orbital bombardment. Please withdraw."

Soon after recieving this, Jessorian forces began to back out of New Redheads, setting everything in their wake on fire and stealing whatever they could. The 7 year old was given the task of sending another letter to the Controller

"I have withdrawn as you requested. The only reason we came on foot was because I do not yet have nuclear capabilities and I was hoping to capture a leader of some sort. Oh well. I managed to set alight much of their industrial complex and steal many new vehicles. I appologize for any inconvienience."

A few days ago new afador's navy was sent out to make shure nobody flees the captal of the new redheads...just out of range of any long range wepondry but just a percasion even tho thier being bombed...

Radio: Rapter1 your clear for takeoff Rapter2 you are also clear for takeoff of the aircraft carrier afador

Rapter1: Thanks control

Rapter2: Ok Rapter1 lets go look how their doing...

Rapter1: All quiet over here by the captal except for the occasinal explosion...

Rapter2: Yep same over here..wait somthing coming up on the radar..oh shit its a patreot missle!

Rapter1: Fly towards the city now! the heat from there will destract the missle GO!

Rapter2: Heading towards the city its ganing on me

Rapter1: Im coming ill see if i can shoot it down before you enter the city

Rapter2: roger that

Rapter1: damn i couldent get it look out!!!

Rapter2: alright time for some fancy flying

Rapter1: Ill fly overtop of you

Rapter2: DAMN THAT WAS CLOSE!

Rapter1: well watch yourself

Rapter2: Its kinda hard whe....AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

BOOM!

Rapter1: shit! damn back to base i guess...

Scince the news of patreot missles defending the north of the new redheads capital new afador's fleet has been told shell the beach incase of mines before landing troops...

Admiral Aaron: Alright crew it has been confermed we will fire on the beach today and land troops tomorow any questions?

Soldier 1: So were going t...

Admiral Aaron: good no questions!

Admiral Aaron: FIRE!!!!!!!!

and the shelling of the new redheads nothern most beach begins.

OCC: Well bend me over and call me Susan, this is the biggest n00bfest I've seen in quite awhile, but heck, Ill go along with it for a good laugh.

ICC:

The Confederacy of Lachenburg and her Vassels condemn this Imperialistic act of Agression and demand all agressors to cease their attack and withdraw all activated military assets Immedeately. Refusal to comply with our request will be punished by the placement of an Embargo against the nation(s) in question.

Singed,

Jean Le-Blanc
Directeur de Affairs International
Confederacy Unie de Lachenburg

To Lachenburg,

This is a personal matter between The New Darkmentian Empire and New Redheads. We do fear you but we must go on with the attack. Democracy has failed and New Redheads is on our kill list, so I beg of you, let us kick the crap out of each other...you just sit back and laugh at us n00bs.

As New Afador attacks on the beaches from the north, New Jessoria waits in the mountains to the west.

"Sir, we've just got word that New Afadorian soldiers have begun storming the beaches."
"Excellent, we will wait for the outcome of the initial battle to plan our next move." the General clears his throat, "What we have planned, if New Afador wins, we will storm the military base, based at the base of Bass Mountain, just 20km east of here, and make that our base of operations for the seige of the country. If it all goes as planned, the base will have minimal occupants because they predict that the main attack will be from the north. If we lose...we wait"
"Perfect choice sir, I'll go nap now"

Yes, Lachenberg (I hope I spelled that right) You see, I have a intense dislike for big countries interfering in my business (see above posts). I don't mind it if you choose a side, but if you're justing joining the war to prevent the war, you run the risk of escalating this to epic proportions. I'm not saying you have to leave, I'm just asking politely.

Meanwhile
***
In the aformentioned Risk board war room of New Darkmentia, the Controller gestures to his Generals.
"All right," he concedes, "orbital bombardment is getting boring. Proceed with the invasion phase. Oh, and switch to Alternative Strategy Alpha-Omgea eleven thirty-eight."
***
A message is sent to the Jessorian Leader and New Afadorian Chancellots from the Imperial Contoller of New Darkmentia:

Official Notice of Strategy Change (to be delivered by 7 year old messenger slaves apparently)
To: The Imperial Nations of the New Darkmentian Empire
Phase 3 (invasion) is now to be combined with Phase 1/2 (nuking) to form the following strategy: The END will attack from the south, Jessoria will attack from the west, New Afador will attack from the north, and all nuclear capable NDE nations will launch undiscrimatory nuclear strikes against the east.
***

The New Imperial Navy of Darkmentia prepares its strike cruisers for the coming assault. Imperial Admiral Pellaeon has been placed in command of the fleet. The New Imperial Army of Darkmentia loads its best (and by that I mean most well trained and well brainwashed and thus most loyal [in other words, almost all 70 million of them]) onto the ships. The Army portion of the attack will be placed under the command of four-star General Hardigan for the beach assault and five-star General Skunt for the mainland war. The capital of New Redheads lies in the centre of the island, and when the three armies reach it, their combined assault will be placed under command of the Controller.
As for the occupation...well...lets note get ahead of ourselves...the fleet is preparing for launch...

OOC: Wait, I'm confused, how are you NEW Jessoria? Watch out for typos...

The attacks against New Reheads it going well, and now it is time for the Psychotic Armies of Jessoria to gain a base of operations.

Night falls, and the barely populated military barracks is thriving with opportunities as a very strategic point to be. We estimate that there are about 100+ men inside, so we send in all of our 10,000,000 foot soldiers without explosives because we don't want to damage anything. The bloody idiot Reheads left the gates unlocked and just got slaughtered with huntining knives. Our casualites: one guy stubbed his toe.

Now, we can begin our advace towards the capital. 3 cities lie in the way, and it will be hard, but we will triumph. 5 Star General Atkins will see to that.

With only 1000 of our men inside the military barracks, 9,900,000 men sleeping in tents, and 1,000,00 on our fleet of battleships,we found it time to gain a city as our base of operations. 5 Star General Atkins ordered a bombardment of the city of Easily Burnt from our ships. We managed to blow away 100,000 people from it but we still needed to clear out the city; we came in guns blazing, all 9,000,00 of us. The Psychotic Army of Jessoria took no prisoners in the city because it was cleared out long before the army got there. It was too quiet for our likings...so we turned on some music. 4 Star General Electric and 4 Star General Motors were ordered by the Psychotic Dictator of Jessoria to break off from the main army into two smaller armies. One to head northside central to assist New Afador, one to head southside central just to create more battlefronts, and 5 Star General Atkins will control the main army and just plow through the two more cities until the capital is within our grasp. The three armies of 3 million will dominate until they reach capital city, there they will just stop being controlled by me and well, be controlled by The Controller of New Darkmentia. Over and Out.

Some milatary guy: Admeral Aaron we have just reseved news that we may begin landing our troops.

Admeral Aaron: Good load the troops as quickly as you can and what i mean by that is 1 hour or your dead

Some milatary guy:....YES SIR!!!

Admeral Aaron: Well back to my evil ploting....GET OUT OF HERE STUPID REPORTER!!!!

The Official New Redheads/New Darkmentian War News Update:

From the North:
The New Afadorian Troops are attacking their first city, having landed on the beaches with minimal resistance. They encounter no military enemies, but are having difficulty keeping the city as citizens with guns riot in the streets. :mp5:

From the West:
With it's first city captured, Jessorian armies press on. The ease of their victories so far puzzles many. The Controller begins to think there is more going on than meets the eye... :sniper:

From the East:
Recap of the Lost Events of Last Night:
A lone general stands on the beaches of Eastern New Redheads. He turnes to a single private beside him. The private stands beside a lone cannon. The General gives the order: "Fire".
A video depicting the ensuing nuclear destruction and decimation of Eastern New Redheads has been sent to the Redhead President. For those who won't see this video, I shall sum it up:
BOOM! :eek:

And from the South:
Having landed their troops, the New Darkmentian fleet patrols the seas. Meanwhile, the attacking force of 7 million (10% of the ENDS's total force) press on, wiping out the sleeping soldiers of the south beach in no time. They destroy all farms and factories they pass, pillaging fields and raping women. They then assault the first city in their way. They suffer one thousand casualties in the battle, but are ordered to press on, one million staying behind to keep the peace. The orders are clear: If a citizen resists, they are to be shot. If they don't, they are to be captured and sold as slaves. If they betray their country and join our side, they are to become second class citizens in the Darkmentian occupied Redheads. And so the fighting continues... :gundge:

The most Incredible thing has happened...

After the capture of three cities and the nuking of a quarter of his nation, the President of The new redheads sent the following telegram to the Controller of New Darkmentia:

We agree to surrender if you'll stop killing our people!

And so, the Controller was flown in on his private helicopter to a meeting in the New Redheads capital (his was heavily protected by his bodyguards of course)

At the meeting, the Controller and the President signed the following historic peace agreement (historic because it was the first peace treaty ever signed by New Darkmentia):

In exchange for the ceasing of hostilities and killing of Redheads citizens, President Alek Lindewall hereby surrenders his nation to The New Darkmentian Empire under the following conditions:
The majority of the island (specifically the North, West and South) shall be signed over to Darkmentian control. This shall form the new nation of "The Opressed Peoples of the New Redheads". The East shall remain under Redhead control under the name "The Border Nation of East New Redheads". The capital city shall be under joint control, with a wall seperating the Redhead East portion of the city and the Darkmentian West portion of the city.
Unless due provocation can be proved, no member of the New Darkmentian Empire shall attack East New Redheads so long as this peace treaty remains valid.
Also, no Redhead citizen may enter the Darkmentian portion of the island and vice versa, without express signed pemission of both the President and the Controller.

BR 1138
The Controller of the Empire of New Darkmentia
The Controller of the New Darkmentian Empire
The Controller of the Opressed Peoples of The new redheads

Alek Lindewall
The Former President of the Free Land of New Redheads
The President of the Border Nation of East New Redheads

Five-star General Skunt, retired
Former military commander, New Imperial Army of Darkmentia
Governor of the Opressed Peoples of The new redheads

****
And so endeth the war...

The Last Post:

It is a shame that the war ended after only a few weeks, because i was jsut about to start attacking using my newly developed military satellites, oh well. The war is over, and I am no longer a Psychotic Dictator. It seems this war has calmed me..that's bad. I WILL BECOME PSYCHOTIC AGAIN, AHAHAHAH!...because I am the Father who Knows Best..

And to you New Redheads...smart decision on surrendering.