The Zoogie People
26-02-2005, 03:32
OOC-in-brief: I will be taking a break off of NS until March 12, 2005. I have no idea how this will screw up the RP I'm in. Drizzts hasn't been around for a while, so that front shouldn't develop much while I'm gone. On the other hand, I'm engaged in battle with Natoa, so what say we just say 'Natoa and Zoogiedom are waging battle...' for the two or so weeks I'm gone, and pretend that not a whole lot of time has passed...fair enough?
--The war room, Jaganda, Zoogiedom
To the north, in the land of Drizzts, massive Zoogie mechanized legions swept across the split provinces in a blazing assault to gain back Drizzts for its rightful leader. All was well.
To the far south-west, across vast expanses of ocean, great fleets swept towards their Natoan foe, thousands of aircraft armed to the teeth in the sky, in the equally blazing operation_delete_key assault. All was well.
And just southwest of Zoogiedom's mainland coast, on its Mythelian Islands, in the diplomatic districts, four men were gathered in a meeting with Tseukamu-Rekuwatoru's...ah, eccentric leader Maze, and his right-hand, Ramsey. All was well.
And in the war-room, there was Michael Hansien, Zoogiedom's president, in the midst of delivering a most stirring speech to a great group of people with high authority in the decision-making matter of the war, among them the joint chiefs of staff and the defense minister. All was well.
Or was it?
"And that, gentlemen, is PRECISELY why we must -"
He stopped short, glancing around him, aware that time had frozen over. Defense adviser Nathan West, who had been tapping his pen idly, had stopped the pen in an awkward position. Defense secretary Brian Dredon, who had been struggling to stiffle a yawn, froze, arms outstretched, eyes closed, mouth agape. Praetorius general Curtis had accidentally dropped a stack of papers, and they were still suspended in mid-air; he himself was in the process of leaping out of his chair to grab them. The chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff was sneezing; his expelled nasal matter still hung in the air between his nose and is cupped hands.
This was most interesting, Hansien noted, and then realized what was happening. He wasn't pleased.
He looked up at the sky, where heavenly light was coming down, and saw the face of God, used in this sense to be the Master of the Zoogies, the silly person who holds all of Zoogiedom in the palm of his hands - the almighty, the all-seeing, the role-play writing guy that we will know simply as 'Caesar Zoogiedus.' He had once again, cast a time-freeze over Zoogiedom.
"Aw, what the damn," he protested to Zoogiedus. "I was in the middle of a stirring speech! Did you really have to! -?"
"Of course, you silly mortal."
"Wait a minute - didn't you say you were going to make me immortal and rule the entire -"
"Hush! They're listening!"
"Right, sorry." Hansien turned slightly red, then peered across the flat 2D display screen to the outer dimensions and saw the perplexed faces of the roleplayer audience. He stared in curiosity until he saw the Island of Rose's face, and he quickly turned away to keep himself from throwing up. [OOC - ;)]
"Anyways," Zoogiedus continued. "I've been looking at my Calender, and have realized that on March 12, 2005, I will be taking the brand-new SAT on its maiden...ah...test distribution. Yeah. That's it. There's only thirteen days..."
"Thirteen days!? There's more than that!"
"Well, I can't count today, because it's already over, and I'm typing everything you say as we speak! Figuratively speak, that is; you're not real, you know."
"I'm not!?"
"Afraid not. I also can't count Friday the 11th, because it is appointed and fully proper for one, on the day before the big test, to relax completely, frolick freely and nakedly in the great prarie-fields, and consume rainbow-colored lollipops and wear sunglasses, and hope to Cherub that he or she won't forget everything by the next morning."
"I see." Hansien glanced back at Dredon, who was in the middle of yawning widely, as aforesaid. It was a curious spectacle, one that is not enjoyed every day, so he thought he'd better enjoy it while he could. He could even take a picture, and taunt him with it, and -
"Right, well, anyways. I've got a lot of SAT prep to do, and I can't have you lot distracting me -" Zoogiedus gestured vaguely at modern-day Zoogiedom and the fictional world he had wrought in his head. "Really, I need something else to occupy me whilst bored, like the thought of participles and temporal clauses."
"Does that mean you don't love us anymore? Have you forsaken us?" cried Hansien in alarm.
"Of course not! I will always love the Zoogies, for they are most Zoogietic and they are my creation. They are my baby."
"Eeeeefjdsuiofj." Hansien made a violent, involuntary gesture; probably, he didn't like being referred to as someone else's 'baby,' even in a figurative sense. His thoughts wandered to the speech he had been in the middle of delivering. He wasn't quite sure what he had been saying, but he asked nevertheless, "Will I get to finish my speech then?"
"No, don't be silly. We both know that the speech was for purposes of context only. It's not like you had anything to say."
"But -...but..."
"Do you know what the heck you were discussing with the joint chiefs of staff, then?" asked the Great Zoogie-Master pointedly.
"Well, no."
"Exactly. And I don't, either. And if I don't know, it means I have not created it. And I don't intend to, either. That means it does not exist."
"Oh." Hansien was somewhat crestfallen.
"But - anyways - March 13th. Mark that date on your calender. I already have. It's the day on which I have to start studying feverishly for the A..." The Great Zoogie-Master paused short, noting the feverish alarm on the face of the character standing in the world that was in the palm of his hand. "Oh, don't worry, I'll have time for Zoogiedom, if you don't distract me and force me to cram like you have time and time and time again."
"Sorry." Hansien looked sheepish.
"Like the PSATs - both years! And then the SAT II's! Don't even get me started on those!" The Zoogie Master then realized that he was ranting, and really shouldn't be. "But I digress. Now, allow me to put on my Arnold Schwazzerboogie face and voice. I'll be back. There, that wasn't so bad? Later."
And with a flick of his Almighty and Most Cherubicly Magical wrist, Zoogiedus froze time completely, even over Hansien himself.
--The war room, Jaganda, Zoogiedom
To the north, in the land of Drizzts, massive Zoogie mechanized legions swept across the split provinces in a blazing assault to gain back Drizzts for its rightful leader. All was well.
To the far south-west, across vast expanses of ocean, great fleets swept towards their Natoan foe, thousands of aircraft armed to the teeth in the sky, in the equally blazing operation_delete_key assault. All was well.
And just southwest of Zoogiedom's mainland coast, on its Mythelian Islands, in the diplomatic districts, four men were gathered in a meeting with Tseukamu-Rekuwatoru's...ah, eccentric leader Maze, and his right-hand, Ramsey. All was well.
And in the war-room, there was Michael Hansien, Zoogiedom's president, in the midst of delivering a most stirring speech to a great group of people with high authority in the decision-making matter of the war, among them the joint chiefs of staff and the defense minister. All was well.
Or was it?
"And that, gentlemen, is PRECISELY why we must -"
He stopped short, glancing around him, aware that time had frozen over. Defense adviser Nathan West, who had been tapping his pen idly, had stopped the pen in an awkward position. Defense secretary Brian Dredon, who had been struggling to stiffle a yawn, froze, arms outstretched, eyes closed, mouth agape. Praetorius general Curtis had accidentally dropped a stack of papers, and they were still suspended in mid-air; he himself was in the process of leaping out of his chair to grab them. The chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff was sneezing; his expelled nasal matter still hung in the air between his nose and is cupped hands.
This was most interesting, Hansien noted, and then realized what was happening. He wasn't pleased.
He looked up at the sky, where heavenly light was coming down, and saw the face of God, used in this sense to be the Master of the Zoogies, the silly person who holds all of Zoogiedom in the palm of his hands - the almighty, the all-seeing, the role-play writing guy that we will know simply as 'Caesar Zoogiedus.' He had once again, cast a time-freeze over Zoogiedom.
"Aw, what the damn," he protested to Zoogiedus. "I was in the middle of a stirring speech! Did you really have to! -?"
"Of course, you silly mortal."
"Wait a minute - didn't you say you were going to make me immortal and rule the entire -"
"Hush! They're listening!"
"Right, sorry." Hansien turned slightly red, then peered across the flat 2D display screen to the outer dimensions and saw the perplexed faces of the roleplayer audience. He stared in curiosity until he saw the Island of Rose's face, and he quickly turned away to keep himself from throwing up. [OOC - ;)]
"Anyways," Zoogiedus continued. "I've been looking at my Calender, and have realized that on March 12, 2005, I will be taking the brand-new SAT on its maiden...ah...test distribution. Yeah. That's it. There's only thirteen days..."
"Thirteen days!? There's more than that!"
"Well, I can't count today, because it's already over, and I'm typing everything you say as we speak! Figuratively speak, that is; you're not real, you know."
"I'm not!?"
"Afraid not. I also can't count Friday the 11th, because it is appointed and fully proper for one, on the day before the big test, to relax completely, frolick freely and nakedly in the great prarie-fields, and consume rainbow-colored lollipops and wear sunglasses, and hope to Cherub that he or she won't forget everything by the next morning."
"I see." Hansien glanced back at Dredon, who was in the middle of yawning widely, as aforesaid. It was a curious spectacle, one that is not enjoyed every day, so he thought he'd better enjoy it while he could. He could even take a picture, and taunt him with it, and -
"Right, well, anyways. I've got a lot of SAT prep to do, and I can't have you lot distracting me -" Zoogiedus gestured vaguely at modern-day Zoogiedom and the fictional world he had wrought in his head. "Really, I need something else to occupy me whilst bored, like the thought of participles and temporal clauses."
"Does that mean you don't love us anymore? Have you forsaken us?" cried Hansien in alarm.
"Of course not! I will always love the Zoogies, for they are most Zoogietic and they are my creation. They are my baby."
"Eeeeefjdsuiofj." Hansien made a violent, involuntary gesture; probably, he didn't like being referred to as someone else's 'baby,' even in a figurative sense. His thoughts wandered to the speech he had been in the middle of delivering. He wasn't quite sure what he had been saying, but he asked nevertheless, "Will I get to finish my speech then?"
"No, don't be silly. We both know that the speech was for purposes of context only. It's not like you had anything to say."
"But -...but..."
"Do you know what the heck you were discussing with the joint chiefs of staff, then?" asked the Great Zoogie-Master pointedly.
"Well, no."
"Exactly. And I don't, either. And if I don't know, it means I have not created it. And I don't intend to, either. That means it does not exist."
"Oh." Hansien was somewhat crestfallen.
"But - anyways - March 13th. Mark that date on your calender. I already have. It's the day on which I have to start studying feverishly for the A..." The Great Zoogie-Master paused short, noting the feverish alarm on the face of the character standing in the world that was in the palm of his hand. "Oh, don't worry, I'll have time for Zoogiedom, if you don't distract me and force me to cram like you have time and time and time again."
"Sorry." Hansien looked sheepish.
"Like the PSATs - both years! And then the SAT II's! Don't even get me started on those!" The Zoogie Master then realized that he was ranting, and really shouldn't be. "But I digress. Now, allow me to put on my Arnold Schwazzerboogie face and voice. I'll be back. There, that wasn't so bad? Later."
And with a flick of his Almighty and Most Cherubicly Magical wrist, Zoogiedus froze time completely, even over Hansien himself.