NationStates Jolt Archive

This thread is for all the goings on in the puppet nations of the Boreal Archipelago region, that just don't make the big news. LETI/LOTI nations are welcome to post, no strings attached. :p


In Man Jayen
At the Marquise's, Boris Polyakov Sr. is enjoying the whiskey tasting before dinner. After tasting and retasting a few of the offered single malts, he starts to slur incomprehensibly, sounding much like he does when making a national address.

He confides to the Marquise:

"Thenn I shaid, I shaid, to the... Shushi... shushu... shweedish chef... I shaysh... ssshhh.... you can't cook shpash... shposh... shpaghetti without shlshhploshing it in vodka, comrade!"

He chuckles alcoholicly, and nudges his valet, Ivan, "Ish... Ishn't that right, Ivan?"

The Marquise nodded his head and agreed with Boris as if he understood what Boris had said. The Marquise rounded up the children and made sure they had plenty of vodka jello shooters. For the kids over six years of age he allowed them to sample some of the blended whiskey jello shooters. Of course those children over the age of ten were allowed to join in the main tasting festivities.

At six PM he gathered everyone around, making sure there were plenty of the attractive Nordic blonds to serve large tankards of ale to "Cleanse the Pallet" before moving on to the main course of suckling pigs boiled in beer. As is the standard in Man Jayen the water glasses were filled with vodka right from the freezer.

The Marquise stood and welcomed the participants in the fishing tournement and announced as usual the fishing boats would leave early in the morning by 10:00 AM or so. He also mentioned that as everyone has become accustomed to health conscious Man Jayen that one drop of fish oil was used in the preparation of the deep fat fried pork rinds appetizers.

History

The Marquise de Sharde ruler of Man Jayen invited all heads of state of the Boreal Archipelago and their families (by inference LETI/LOTI nations too) to a fishing tournement in the warm waters of the Man Jayen nuclear power plant warm water discharges. Each day there is a prize for largest fish caught and a prize for the most unusual fish caught.

The first day's prizes went to Boris's son for a 300 lb three eyed cod and to King Tut for a 35 lb herring with teeth like a shark and six tails.

King Tut, ruler of the Pharaoh Islands, was overseeing the sacrifice of his six-tailed herring to Odin-Ra. His loyal lackey, Ptahetep, was arranging the entrails in the prescribed pattern.

"Excellent!" King Tut approved, "Now, hurry, or we'll be late for dinner!"


King Tut and Ptahetep arrive just in time for the pre-main course ale. He surrounds himself with some nordic blondes, and tries to impress them by telling them stories about the size of his pyramigloo.

When the Marquise sits down, King Tut asks him how much it costs to have a nuclear power plant built. In the Pharaoh islands, it's too cold for fishing; they have to wait for the fish to freeze solid, and then wash up on the beaches.

The Marquise explains to King Tut that he had the nuclear power plants constructed as an exchange for allowing MadderMike to construct and use a naval base in Man Jayen. This was a period of high tensions and MadderMike sent their finest engineers and construction companies to construct the base and the nuclear power plants.

The Marquise went on to say that MadderMikians are among the stupidest citizens in the world but they did bring their own peculiar brand of alcoholic beverage something called "Moonshine". It was rough around the edges but packed a mighty whollop he explained.

He went on "The MadderMikians are hard working and quickly adopted to the Arctic lifestyle, consuming large quantites of their "Moonshine" and local vodka and sharing it with the local population. There were some protests by Bluepeace about shoddy construction, radiation leaks and other such nonsense but the MadderMikian propensity to shoot at anything that annoys them soon stopped the protests. As you can see these "Radiation Leaks" warm the area around the power plants and many residents have set up impromptu villages surrounding them."

The Marquise continued "These villagers have reported they are having more and more babies with helpful oddities like extra fingers, webbed feet and even one case of an extra eye. This will undoubtedly help them in the annual seal hunt."