NationStates Jolt Archive

Dear citizens of the world,

Today you have a choice to make. It may sound harsh, but just hear me out and you will see that there really is but one option.

I, the leader of this armed republic is declaring war against the entire world. Don't you dare to laugh, because I am dead serious. You have two options:

1. Join me. Be my ally in this war. This is really the only smart thing to do, because I WILL PREVAIL.

2. Prepare your complete doom. When I get through with you, there will be nothing left of your pityful little country.

As you see, the choice is really not that hard to make. Join me or die!

I expect hearing from you soon, wheter it is through this message board or via telegram.

Yours truly,

Cristóbal, Corrupt Dictator and Arrogant Oppressor

No no you won't,you will loose, and then be enslaved, And I will laugh, but you will cry.

Your decision noted. Begin sending your citizens to the bomb shelters.

1) right now you are on par militarily with say, Latvia, and my country is future tech (advanced races) specifically, the Predators from the movie of the same name.

2) you really should have a legitimate reason to declare war, it's a massive undertaking which will drain the resources of you country fairly hugely.

3) If you decide to declare war on everybody, 1-2-3-4 billion+ nations will swat you like a fly

please consider this before you act rashly

Rashly? What are you talking about?

I have five million citizens in my country, bred for a single purpose: To go to war, and if they must, DIE for me. These five million men, women and children are hardcore killers. The elite of the elite. De créme de la créme. They will crush you like the bug you are, and when this is over you will get down on your knees and worship me like the God I deserve to be worshipped like.

Rashly? What are you talking about?

I have five million citizens in my country, bred for a single purpose: To go to war, and if they must, DIE for me. These five million men, women and children are hardcore killers. The elite of the elite. De créme de la créme. They will crush you like the bug you are, and when this is over you will get down on your knees and worship me like the God I deserve to be worshipped like.

And I have 1.5 billion citizens. In wartime, I can call on a force of up to 5.5 million soldiers.. I have 942 warships, and at least 5000 fighter jets. I also have around 40,000 tanks. My defense budget is 10 trillion dollars, more than your entire GDP, and I still don't get involved in many wars.

Now... please call this off and start RPing properly. Your nation's name is too cool for you to be made fun of :rolleyes:

And I have 1.5 billion citizens. In wartime, I can call on a force of up to 5.5 million soldiers.. I have 942 warships, and at least 5000 fighter jets. I also have around 40,000 tanks. My defense budget is 10 trillion dollars, more than your entire GDP, and I still don't get involved in many wars.

Now... please call this off and start RPing properly. Your nation's name is too cool for you to be made fun of :rolleyes:

You sad little human being. As you're sitting there, in the demise of your geeky little life, roleplaying. I myself am really serious about this. This isn't a game, and I don't care if my country will fall. I will go to war against everyone who is not with me.

My citizens likes to breed. At this point I have nearly eight million soldiers in my army, three million battle tanks, two million fighter jets and more than enough nuclear missiles to blow the living hell out of your country. You are the Great Satan, and I, to quote Jesus, "will fuck you on Saturday".

Happy easter, you capitalist swine!

Love,

Cristóbal

Why do these sad little people keep coming on with no intention of RPing, testing how far the boundaries of free form can be pushed. You have nothing mate; your nation isn't even bigt enough to field 8 million people; and you;d have to have the best economy ever, with everyone working to have all the vehicles and weapons....if they all work, how can they be in your army?
Your the one whos gonna get fucked over backwards mate. Happy hunting

ooc: Wow. I'm scared.

The Shahdom of Parthia hereby laughs at the pathetic nation of Anguish and Torment. I have about 2.3 Billion people under my sway, and trust me, I have an army larger than your population. Either you cease this war, or I reduce your nation to ash and carry your people off to slavery.

-Shah Khosru III

Official Reply:

Congratulations, you are now a Protectorate of the Empire! The 1st Rosian Division and the 33rd Rosian Fleet will be coming to an establish a presence soon. This is truely an honor.
Department of Defense

The Malkyeri Space Ministry has prepared the I.G.N.O.R.E. cannons in orbit to fire at this...annoyance.

It's so sad to see this whole nerd community coming together under one flag to ban the "non-serious" rpg guy.

Well, like I said. This isn't a game. Your citizens will all die horrible deaths.

Mass suffocation... blood streaming from their nostrils into the sea of lament made of blood. Dillusional their spirits will dance to the pipe of Pan as the God of Misery will laugh at your worthless efforts to keep them alive.

Praise the Lord, the spanish inquisition has arrived!

Lots of hugs,

Cristóbal

Official Reply:

Congratulations, you are now a Protectorate of the Empire! The 1st Rosian Division and the 33rd Rosian Fleet will be coming to an establish a presence soon. This is truely an honor.
Department of Defense

Wait, we want at least 1,000,000 "POWs" for use in "public works projects." Care to launch a joint strike? I'm sick of these idiots popping up and declaring war on us. I will deploy the Red Sea fleet the 3rd, 89th, and 104th Infantry Divisions and the 6th Armored division to crush and enslave, er, defeat them.

-Shah Khosru III

"Hey, I'll help, I want more slaves... whoops, I mean workers. 2 ubercarrier groups on the way."-The Great Leader Li.

It's so sad to see this whole nerd community coming together under one flag to ban the "non-serious" rpg guy.

OOC: We're nerds, and we're making fun of you. What does that make you? Besides, don't come to a RP forum and then get mad when we RP. It's stupid.

Wait, we want at least 1,000,000 "POWs" for use in "public works projects." Care to launch a joint strike? I'm sick of these idiots popping up and declaring war on us. I will deploy the Red Sea fleet the 3rd, 89th, and 104th Infantry Divisions and the 6th Armored division to crush and enslave, er, defeat them.

-Shah Khosru III

Official Reply:

We just wanted them dead. Have fun with them.
Department of Defense

(OOC: Actually good sir, I'm non-serious RP guy around here.)

Nerds are known for making fun of people who actually have lives. I don't know why. Envy?

Oh my God, what is this? Attacks on my country were suddenly struck down thanks to my new borderline defense system: The Death Star system. That's right. I now have 600 Death Stars with giant laser beams patrolling the air space of my borders.

Your armies has been wiped out and your countries fall into economic depression.

Nerds are known for making fun of people who actually have lives. I don't know why. Envy?

(OOC: You really are bordering on flaming.)

OOC: Well, what does that make you when you go out of your way to lose your own life? If you come onto a forum, just to mock it, what does that make you, except a sad little twat, you gets his jollies from flaming; and keeps his favorite well worn sock right beside the keyboard to get his rocks off. And I have a life thank you; I am quite merry, and just back from seeing Nightwish :D

Dear citizens of the world,

Today you have a choice to make. It may sound harsh, but just hear me out and you will see that there really is but one option.

I, the leader of this armed republic is declaring war against the entire world. Don't you dare to laugh, because I am dead serious. You have two options:

1. Join me. Be my ally in this war. This is really the only smart thing to do, because I WILL PREVAIL.

2. Prepare your complete doom. When I get through with you, there will be nothing left of your pityful little country.

As you see, the choice is really not that hard to make. Join me or die!

I expect hearing from you soon, wheter it is through this message board or via telegram.

Yours truly,

Cristóbal, Corrupt Dictator and Arrogant Oppressor


I'm with you man... It's us against those fuckin commies!!

Let's liberate them all!

Oh my God, what is this? Attacks on my country were suddenly struck down thanks to my new borderline defense system: The Death Star system. That's right. I now have 600 Death Stars with giant laser beams patrolling the air space of my borders.

Your armies has been wiped out and your countries fall into economic depression.

Ahura Mazda hits you with massive meteors of fire, and kills everyone in your nation. Then, lightning hits your nation and a giant Zarathustra pops out of a bolt and stomps on everything.

The Four Gods of Chaos unleash waves of War, Disease, Depravity and Sorcery across the country; crushing those who oppose beneath the bronze hoofs of the daemons of Khorne; the putrefying tread of the followers of Nurgle; the graceful and sadistic knifestrokes of the Slaanesh worshiping fiends; and the foul magicks of Tzeentch.

Pope John Paul II flies towards your nation and bitchslaps it! Causing death and destruction!

(oooh!)

Oh, forgot to mention my newly installed anti-meteor, and anti-God interference systems. Sorry, no damage done.

By the way, Nightwish is the lamest band on this planet. Finnish losers.

Well, its good to see you have a healthy sense of bigotry to go with your anti-geekness.

The Gods of Chaos bypass your system through the subtle flows of the warp; destroying the ultimately frail systems and unleashing their terrible wrath

Oh, forgot to mention my newly installed anti-meteor, and anti-God interference systems. Sorry, no damage done.

By the way, Nightwish is the lamest band on this planet. Finnish losers.

Under cloak of darkness, using their ub3r 1337 N1GH7 powers, Nightwish infiltrates Anguish and Torment, kills their leaders, breaks their anti-God defence system, and totally pw3ns their army. Then they sneak out, still unnoticed, and drink some beer or something.

Oh, forgot to mention my newly installed anti-meteor, and anti-God interference systems. Sorry, no damage done.

By the way, Nightwish is the lamest band on this planet. Finnish losers.

But luckily, you don't have the anti-Pope attachment.

Under cloak of darkness, using their ub3r 1337 N1GH7 powers, Nightwish infiltrates Anguish and Torment, kills their leaders, breaks their anti-God defence system, and totally pw3ns their army. Then they sneak out, still unnoticed, and drink some beer or something.

Excellent! All that after they played Glasgow? Wow...:P
Anguish and Torment; did I mention that my other ride is your mother? tee hee.
Sorry about that; but I felt I had to go to his OMFG G33kz 4r3 n00bz, I pwn j00, level

Oh yeah, I do have an anti-pope system, it was actually a software that came with the anti-God interference system.

And no, my system can't be bypassed. All Gods and members from Nightwish that attempted to penetrate the system are now electrecuted to death.

Too bad; we say your system can be bypassed; and I'm not arguing with my Gods; or with Tarja :P

I love yousa guys very much. You make me want to curl up like a little baby and cry of sheer joy.

BOOM! Nuclear assaults commenced on all your countries. Watch them die-a!

I wipe my ass with what you're saying. Bypass that if you can.

Artifical fucking peace, line up in death row.

Oh yeah, I do have an anti-pope system, it was actually a software that came with the anti-God interference system.

And no, my system can't be bypassed. All Gods and members from Nightwish that attempted to penetrate the system are now electrecuted to death.

OOC:Congratulations... you just used every n00b trick in the book. The 1,000 kilometer wide congressional medal of ultimate noobtry has just fallen out of the sky and crushed your army armed with rubberbands and cardboard boxes. In relation I am proud to say:
MOD ALERT!

My country is in a seperate Star System.....two of them infact; so....if your nukes can reach that far. Hehehe
Failing the assault of Gods and Nightwish; Chronosia sends forth the cast of the Rocky Horror Show and cackles when fotage of your leader being sodomised by Tim Curry is broadcast over the intergalactic news networks

Oh, forgot to mention my newly installed anti-meteor, and anti-God interference systems. Sorry, no damage done.

By the way, Nightwish is the lamest band on this planet. Finnish losers.
Then I magically teleport an invincible horde of Persian Cataphracts directly onto your nation and they deactivate the anti god system to make Ahura Mazda burn the crap out of your nation.

I love yousa guys very much. You make me want to curl up like a little baby and cry of sheer joy.

BOOM! Nuclear assaults commenced on all your countries. Watch them die-a!

Of course my SDI System destroys them...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v159/Kacin_Carter/eb791501.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v159/Kacin_Carter/nONAWARD.jpg

Congratulations, you have been awarde, for the first time in NS history two awards! The flamer, and noob award! Congratulations it is truly an honor, it brings tear to my eyes to see you do such a thing.

I love yousa guys very much. You make me want to curl up like a little baby and cry of sheer joy.

BOOM! Nuclear assaults commenced on all your countries. Watch them die-a!

Ahura Mazda turns them around at your nation and kills your army.

Okay, you want it the rough way, huh?

Weeeeell...

I've forgot to tell you about the OTHER defense system I just installed which makes whatever things you send my way bounce off and return to sender with 200% damage.

Watcha gonna do 'bout it? Huh? Huh?

I figure I'll have nude south american tribesmen snack on your genitals; before moving on to your intestines....Whatcha gonna do about it? hm? hm?

Okay, you want it the rough way, huh?

Weeeeell...

I've forgot to tell you about the OTHER defense system I just installed which makes whatever things you send my way bounce off and return to sender with 200% damage.

Watcha gonna do 'bout it? Huh? Huh?

I cast a spell and deactivate it, making your nation explode.

And no, my system can't be bypassed. All Gods and members from Nightwish that attempted to penetrate the system are now electrecuted to death.

"They didn't believe Nightwish? Argh!" screamed the general. "Destroy them!"

We are unleashing our ultimate weapon, the ultimate in Scandanavian metal, DIMMU BORGIR! Their scary Satan powers completey pw3ns y05r p5ny 4nt1-G0d th1ngy, 4nP P3$tr0y$ y05r p4th3t1( n4t10n! R4hr!

Sorry for the 1337, but I think he deserves it.

*Bows to Dimmu* But they are naught against the foulest of Finn spawn; an evil so terrible it makes Dimmu wet itself....

THE RASMUS

FEAR IT!

http://img56.exs.cx/img56/7043/daspimp1dn.th.jpg

Ultimate Scandinavian metal: Dimmu Borgir? You gotta be fuckin' kiddin' me, right? DB is nothing more than easily digested music for wannabe death metal heads. I'll take some Meshuggah, Entombed, Opeth or The Haunted over that shit any given day.

I will report you all for spamming!

900 bazillion Shoobans strap A-bombs to themselves and jump out of planes with parachutes, landing in your nation and blowing it to smithereens. Have a nice day.

I've forgot to tell you about the OTHER defense system I just installed which makes whatever things you send my way bounce off and return to sender with 200% damage.



Enough said.

900 bazillion Shoobans strap A-bombs to themselves and jump out of planes with parachutes, landing in your nation and blowing it to smithereens. Have a nice day.

Oh! Oh! Good idea. We're gonna do that too. Only we don't have 900 bazillion Shoobans, so...we'll throw 1337 rocks at you or something to distract you, A&T. ph33r u5.

Chronosia throws nymphomaniac prostitutes at the nation of Anguish and Torment, and waits to reap the rewards

Chronosia throws nymphomaniac prostitutes at the nation of Anguish and Torment, and waits to reap the rewards


Well, having sex with virtual prostitutes must be the closest to getting laid as you will ever come, so consider yourself a lucky man.

I actually have quite an active love life; not that its your business:P Besides; I have to keep my populace happy. The Emperor has never married; nor do I think he ever will.

Don't know who to pity more, your girlfriend/boyfriend for suffering from all the gross sex, or you based on the fact that you actually have to justify yourself because some guy full of shit (that would be me) said something nasty on a message board that no one really gives a shit about.

I give a shit about you insulting the people I care about, and also myself; you dickless little fuck. And you can kiss your ass goodbye. The Mods will lock this and ban your ass; if only for the waste of bandwidth, at most for the waste of flesh, bone and blood that some poor inbred whore had the misfortune of vomitting forth

Haha, that's the spirit. Unleash your anger för helvete. Good riddance.

Oh no! Please don't tell them mean master mods to ban me. Please master, no. I can't live without this site. It's my whole life. It means the world to me. Don't take my life away from me!

I love you too.

That part about my mother being a whore is actually true. You and I are siblings.

Anguish and Torment, step lightly. If you want to go to war or whatever, don't get yourself into heated arguments.

Everybody else, settle down...

Now, stop the flaming, flamebaiting, spam, thread hijacking, and all other offenses.

Anguish and Torment, step lightly. If you want to go to war or whatever, don't get yourself into heated arguments.

Everybody else, settle down...

Now, stop the flaming, flamebaiting, spam, thread hijacking, and all other offenses.

Why? We're having the time of our lives here! I'm just here for all these sexually frustrated guys to vent their anger and anxiety against.

Come on, Doc. Join the debate. Who's mother is actually the biggest whore? Huh?

Hmm....Interesting...

May I ask why Anguish and Torment that you came to this site?...Considering you consider everyone on N.S Lame/nerd/S.F people.

Does that mean you yourself are one?....I can only speculate.

Hmm....Interesting...

May I ask why Anguish and Torment that you came to this site?...Considering you consider everyone on N.S Lame/nerd/S.F people.

Does that mean you yourself are one?....I can only speculate.


I'm interested in politics in general, a friend tipped me about this site, I checked it out, seemed cool, visited the forum and then realised that this whole site was nothing more than a lame community for seventeen year olds.

Usually I never engage in these kinds of things. Posting at message boards and all that, but I thought that it would be a fun thing. To see how pissed off I could get people to become. Now I'm sitting here, a genuine asshole in the eyes of many. And I love it! Can't say I don't deserve to be viewed upon as an asshole, but if the ones taken offense by the things I've said can't see the irony in my posts throughout this thread, that' s really sad.

Spank you. Spank you very much.

This I must say is really funny. It will be interesting to see if the mods forum ban you for your publicity stunt. And after you piss as many people off as you see fit, you will probably never enter the forums again. Correct, no?

This I must say is really funny. It will be interesting to see if the mods forum ban you for your publicity stunt. And after you piss as many people off as you see fit, you will probably never enter the forums again. Correct, no?

We'll see. If that's the case, well... I just don't care. This is my last post on this forum anyway. Promise.

Bye everyone! Lovely talking to you!

In my experience through out life. People who choose to do acts such as this. Go out of their way to belittle others are usually sorry sods sulking at home on Friday nights with nothing better tod do. They actually have horrible self-esteems and always try to bring in all the awesome sex they have. Attempting to potray themselves as the stereotypical badass who gets laid. When realistically, they guys who actually are sleeping with beautiful women, are plenty secure with themselves and have no need to go out of their way to appear above those without lives, as they have a nice one. Basically what I'm saying, is maybe you should be out trying to get some real friends, go outside play a sport or something. I'm sure you'll have some comeback where you're banging 3 chicks and captain of a local sport squad. Go ahead, I don't care. The only one you're fooling with this little "game" of yours is yourself, and eventually it'll catch up with you.

The Prime Minister's slumber was interrupted by a phone call from the Ministry of Defense. He picked up the phone and managed a groggy "Hello?"

"Sir, some n00b has just declared war on t3h entire world. Specifically, The Armed Republic of Anquish and Torment."

"Meh. Standard n00b procedure--IGNORE cannon to disable any n00b p0w3rz defenses, followed by our specialty."

"Yes sir."

Admiral Douglass then gave the order to charge t3h Üb3rpw3nag3.1.G.N.O.R.3 cannon to 100% strength.

Upon charging to full capacity, the Üb3rpw3nag3.1.G.N.O.R.3 cannon automatically fired at Anguish and Torment, disabling all defenses through teh pw3nage of I.G.N.O.R.E. technology.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v115/chair094/ignorecannon.jpg

Admiral Douglass called the Prime Minister back. "Should we launch our earthquake ICBM's (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=381422)?

"Twenty should turn the n00b into nothing more than a fault line, don't you think?"

Five minutes later, twenty of Evil Woody Thoughts' most powerful weapons left their silos, destined for Anguish and Torment.

i agree and ally with cristobal...i'm sorry guys but your countries...unless you're with us...are going down.

it's a statement that will be seen through with and we WILL conquer you.

join us now before it's too late, or perish.

*Shakes head and raises the "Topic creator is a moron" flag*

I hereby declare this thread spam, and will now act accordingly.

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