Hogsweat
14-02-2005, 18:49
After an interesting discovery, and further inspection, Soviet Analysts have realised that for 230 years the Soviet Union of Hogsweat has actually been at war with Valentines Day. How it is possible for a nation to be at war with an occasion is still unknown but our scientists are working on the very matter, instead of new weapons of mass destruction, such as Anthrax, or Thermonuclear Materiel.
GPUNKVD Spokesman Alvadiri Menstrov made a comment regarding the "War on Valentines Day"
Soviet Army Units are crushing Valentine's Day resistance. Already it has nearly been wiped out. We are just mopping up the resistance.
Codian States
14-02-2005, 19:11
Fritz City, Codia -- In what was perhaps the largest impromptu demonstration that the Codian capital has seen in the last few weeks, demonstrators idly murmured to themselves by the dozens outside the National Museum of Theological History, for reasons yet unclear.
Sources close to the situation commented that the demonstration was in protest of Hogsweat's treatment of Valentine's Day, though exact details were elusive.
"It's just not right, the way they're treating the... Valen... Valentinians... the Valentine's Dayians... those people" said befuddled mass-chanter Erika Vonstradt. When asked to clarify how the victims were being mistreated, Erika elaborated. "I don't know."
Currently it is unknown how many casualties have been suffered by either side, or even if any have been suffered at all. International contacts have put forth that it may not be war literal at all, only figuratively, symbolically.
"Valentine's Day is an occasion, it is a calendar day, a moment of remembrance. It does not have political stances, national boundaries, census figures, or a military", Dr. Epstein Kasselbeck shouted, trying to quell the waves of confused, untargeted outrage. "There would be no mistreatment, you see, because..." Dr. Kasselbeck trailed off, purportedly losing interest in the unlistening crowd.
Despite the best efforts of the educated, Codian citizens appear to be sort of up in arms about this misunderstood travesty. Posters, signs and sandwichboards painted hastily with "Down With Valentine's Day Genocide" and "Valentines Are People Too" mixed with shouts of "Free Nathan Albrit!" and "Up With Capital Punishment". Suspicions were high that the numbers of protesters were padded with hardcore mercenary demonstrators and bored loser guys with nothing to do. Evidenced by the wide curve between the militant peaceniks preaching retaliation and the small, bookish guy with the "Fritz in '4" sign, it was possible that many just coalesced on a cause. Any cause. This cause.
A bemused Codian Human Rights Ministry spokesmodel sought to allay national fears.
"We are monitoring the situation carefully, and have not as yet seen any military violations of international law or human rights. We are poised to address any new development as it occurs. Please return to your homes." Turning to enter the NMTH building, the spokesmodel rolled her eyes and muttered something under her breath.