VoteEarly
12-02-2005, 05:18
After nearly twenty one years of Curtisian diplomacy being the standard taught to all members of the Diplomatic Corps, and to nobles interested in serving as delegates to other nations or attendees at conferences, the Czar decided to retire it, in favor of a new standard, “Stahleckerian” diplomacy, so named after Paul Stahlecker.
The recently published book, “On the Art of Diplomacy” by Paul Stahlecker, will be used to serve as the foundation for an aspiring diplomats education in Stahleckerian diplomacy. The book, which is exactly two hundred and forty-three pages long, contains an excellent variety of useful information for many different situations a diplomat may find himself in.
We will now list a few excerpts from the book.
Page 104: “Using racially offensive language in a diplomatic environment is not acceptable ever. While the Zimbabwean diplomat you’re arguing with may very well be a monkey, keep it to yourself and don’t lower yourself to his level by engaging in name calling.”
Page 83: “Soliciting or accepting bribes for diplomatic consideration, or for any reason, is unacceptable and will ultimately reflect badly on you and our entire nation. Indeed in the near future, expect bribery to be made illegal, and retroactive punishment is something Mississippi does not shy from engaging in.”
Page 42: “Always keep an open-mind about the culture of the land you’re in, regardless of whether it is inferior or not, it is their own and they ought to know how to run things better than you, an outsider, so avoid unnecessary criticism unless it runs into matters you think you might be able to positively and constructively provide advice on.”
Page 34: “Accepting sexual favors for diplomatic consideration, or even worse, requesting or demanding them will not bode well for you when it comes time for promotions. Indeed you may just be fired immediately upon confirmation of such activity. Your conduct reflects on our entire nation, be an example of Mississippian virtue, rather than one who gives into lusts.”
Page 59: “If you are in an Arab country, never cross your legs such that the bottoms of your shoes are showing or facing your hosts, this is the ultimate insult and will likely result in their immediate withdrawal from the talks. Keep in mind that showing the bottoms of your shoes under any circumstances, in an Arab nation, will be taken as a grave insult.”
Page 60: “If you are in Australia or New Zealand, do not give a ‘thumbs up’ sign to anybody since it is seen as an insult.”
Page 61: “Be careful as to how you make a “v” sign with the index and middle finger in the United Kingdom (Do it like Churchill did, as the other way is a very rude insult). Remember, you are a guest in another land, it is your job to learn the necessary information to get by without causing offense to your hosts.”
Page 62: “Many nations view smokeless tobacco with contempt or disgust, indeed many more have laws against spitting in public. Make sure you know the social attitudes and legal status of smokeless tobacco before taking any with you. If it is legal but not socially acceptable, keep it in your hotel room and use it in private.”
Page 63: “Not all people in the world will be as eager to duel over a matter of honor as you might be. Avoid challenging people to duels unless you are certain the practice of dueling is appropriate and accepted in the nation you are in. And even then, please strive to resolve your disputes without resorting to violence. It would be infinitely terrible for our public image if you put a bullet through a diplomat of a nation so gracious to host you there. Equally it would be disastrous for international relations regardless of the outcome of the duel. Better to be safe and leave your dueling pistols in Mississippi, lest you be tempted to freely issue challenges.”
Page 184: “When in a nation such as Japan, Germany, Italy, Russia, and other nations with a twentieth century history of atrocities, do not make it a point to make their past misdeeds obvious. They know what they did, leave it at that, and don’t get into historical debates with people.”
Page 204: “Make sure to take it upon yourself to be well-informed of the culture and current prevailing attitudes of the nation you are about to be dealing with, prior to your departure. This will certainly go a long way in avoiding embarrassing scenes and scandals.”
Page 210: “Avoid drinking alcoholic beverages, or at least do not drink to excess, while in a foreign nation. Drunken people often do utterly stupid things. You are a representative of the entire Mississippian Federation, present a good image.”
Page 215: “Avoid flirtation with foreign women as this will only lead to trouble. Our nation has enough problems with sexual scandals and we don’t need, nor do we want, more. Keep to yourself when talks are not going on, unless invited to a gathering by other attendees.”
Page 208: “Always be thankful and courteous for everything your hosts do, remember also to avoid littering as there may not be servants tasked with cleaning up after you as you walk about in public. Anyway, you are not in Mississippi, don’t act like you are, I cannot stress this point enough.”
Page 243: “Remember, that as you go forth and represent our nation, you will be deciding how our nation is viewed in the near future and indeed in the decades to come. The images of our nation that you impart upon others will decidedly affect our foreign, and ultimately, domestic policy, for years to come. With this in mind, make sure that the examples you set are outstanding examples, and that the image you exude is one of charm, politeness, morality, virtue, and diplomatic excellence.”
To get a copy of the book, send a self-addressed stamped envelope to the Foreign Ministry Central Authority in Jackson City, be sure to include a check for $24.99 for the book, shipping is free.
The recently published book, “On the Art of Diplomacy” by Paul Stahlecker, will be used to serve as the foundation for an aspiring diplomats education in Stahleckerian diplomacy. The book, which is exactly two hundred and forty-three pages long, contains an excellent variety of useful information for many different situations a diplomat may find himself in.
We will now list a few excerpts from the book.
Page 104: “Using racially offensive language in a diplomatic environment is not acceptable ever. While the Zimbabwean diplomat you’re arguing with may very well be a monkey, keep it to yourself and don’t lower yourself to his level by engaging in name calling.”
Page 83: “Soliciting or accepting bribes for diplomatic consideration, or for any reason, is unacceptable and will ultimately reflect badly on you and our entire nation. Indeed in the near future, expect bribery to be made illegal, and retroactive punishment is something Mississippi does not shy from engaging in.”
Page 42: “Always keep an open-mind about the culture of the land you’re in, regardless of whether it is inferior or not, it is their own and they ought to know how to run things better than you, an outsider, so avoid unnecessary criticism unless it runs into matters you think you might be able to positively and constructively provide advice on.”
Page 34: “Accepting sexual favors for diplomatic consideration, or even worse, requesting or demanding them will not bode well for you when it comes time for promotions. Indeed you may just be fired immediately upon confirmation of such activity. Your conduct reflects on our entire nation, be an example of Mississippian virtue, rather than one who gives into lusts.”
Page 59: “If you are in an Arab country, never cross your legs such that the bottoms of your shoes are showing or facing your hosts, this is the ultimate insult and will likely result in their immediate withdrawal from the talks. Keep in mind that showing the bottoms of your shoes under any circumstances, in an Arab nation, will be taken as a grave insult.”
Page 60: “If you are in Australia or New Zealand, do not give a ‘thumbs up’ sign to anybody since it is seen as an insult.”
Page 61: “Be careful as to how you make a “v” sign with the index and middle finger in the United Kingdom (Do it like Churchill did, as the other way is a very rude insult). Remember, you are a guest in another land, it is your job to learn the necessary information to get by without causing offense to your hosts.”
Page 62: “Many nations view smokeless tobacco with contempt or disgust, indeed many more have laws against spitting in public. Make sure you know the social attitudes and legal status of smokeless tobacco before taking any with you. If it is legal but not socially acceptable, keep it in your hotel room and use it in private.”
Page 63: “Not all people in the world will be as eager to duel over a matter of honor as you might be. Avoid challenging people to duels unless you are certain the practice of dueling is appropriate and accepted in the nation you are in. And even then, please strive to resolve your disputes without resorting to violence. It would be infinitely terrible for our public image if you put a bullet through a diplomat of a nation so gracious to host you there. Equally it would be disastrous for international relations regardless of the outcome of the duel. Better to be safe and leave your dueling pistols in Mississippi, lest you be tempted to freely issue challenges.”
Page 184: “When in a nation such as Japan, Germany, Italy, Russia, and other nations with a twentieth century history of atrocities, do not make it a point to make their past misdeeds obvious. They know what they did, leave it at that, and don’t get into historical debates with people.”
Page 204: “Make sure to take it upon yourself to be well-informed of the culture and current prevailing attitudes of the nation you are about to be dealing with, prior to your departure. This will certainly go a long way in avoiding embarrassing scenes and scandals.”
Page 210: “Avoid drinking alcoholic beverages, or at least do not drink to excess, while in a foreign nation. Drunken people often do utterly stupid things. You are a representative of the entire Mississippian Federation, present a good image.”
Page 215: “Avoid flirtation with foreign women as this will only lead to trouble. Our nation has enough problems with sexual scandals and we don’t need, nor do we want, more. Keep to yourself when talks are not going on, unless invited to a gathering by other attendees.”
Page 208: “Always be thankful and courteous for everything your hosts do, remember also to avoid littering as there may not be servants tasked with cleaning up after you as you walk about in public. Anyway, you are not in Mississippi, don’t act like you are, I cannot stress this point enough.”
Page 243: “Remember, that as you go forth and represent our nation, you will be deciding how our nation is viewed in the near future and indeed in the decades to come. The images of our nation that you impart upon others will decidedly affect our foreign, and ultimately, domestic policy, for years to come. With this in mind, make sure that the examples you set are outstanding examples, and that the image you exude is one of charm, politeness, morality, virtue, and diplomatic excellence.”
To get a copy of the book, send a self-addressed stamped envelope to the Foreign Ministry Central Authority in Jackson City, be sure to include a check for $24.99 for the book, shipping is free.