NationStates Jolt Archive

Extremadura Prime, proxy capital of the Pacific Guffingfordii Empire

Letter from Joseph Cyre to Solan Rixx:

"Mr Rixx, can you believe this TEOO scum still thinks they can somehow outwit us? I believe it has to be a bad act of a group of comedians. Failed comedians. Lifeless ignorant pagans without a cause to die for. Perhaps, we can show them they are nothing, not even stains on a piece of paper. Their military might is the same as air in the wind. None of their economies even remotely matches ours. Though we do not have plans to attack, we still show them what we are and where we stand in the world. The great Guffingfordii nation has been built on the basic human rights our father, Adolf Hitler, who has explained our perfect society in the National Socialist bible. Mr Rixx, I urge you to step up and show them something. They think their 'mighty' TEOO is so tough, untouchable, indestructible. I dare them to prove this. Furthermore, about their reputed hundred memberships, none of that is true. My intelligence has observed and watched and it seems only around thirty are officially listed.

Please do something, our war with The Upper Congo is taking up vast amounts of government attention.

Sincerely, Joseph Cyre."

*****

Gerlach, Holy Panooly capital city

"Mr Rixx, I have a letter for you from..."
"Let me guess, from Mr Cyre?" With his eyes closed and having a burning cigarette between his lips, he mumbled some curses.
"Why yes, Mr Rixx." Solan Rixx waved away the served who still had a surprised look on his face.
"I don't want to read it." Solan Rixx already knew what he wrote; about something about Xeraph or his TEOO. Irrevelant matters, they are! Yet somehow he has a point. Our war with The Upper Congo will result in total victory, a possible upcoming conflict with East Lithuania is also an option.
"Oh servant, please mail the following to Cyre..." Again the servant was struck by total surprise "...Please tell him to organize some sort of demonstration, a hate campaign. Make it the biggest, the best and the most impressive ceremony ever. Make sure Xeraph is somehow involved and the center of all insults. Find books from Xeraph' writers and burn them."
"Yes Mr Rixx, will be done."

*****

Several weeks later, Extremadura Prime

Preperations for the great festival were in full swing, banners and flags waved on the hot air of the jungle. The streets were sweeped clean, old leaves were tossed in giant bonfires while every building was decorated with the dominant party banner. Soldiers from Holy Panooly, easy to spot by their customary fur hat, marched through the beautiful marble plaza's, a fanfare
was playing loud military music by drums and trumpets while people saluted all officers with the official Hitler greet. In the middle of August, the hottest month of the year the stage was done, all the plans were signed and ratified while all the demands for the festivities have been met. It was a glorious day to start the hate.

In a newly built political arena, Johann Abraxis-Taylor was ready to face the cheering crowd.

"Friends, Panoolians, humans, Listen! Today is the start of a grand festival, dedicated to show the world the majestic leadership of Guffingford, and also, to honour the decision of Euroslavia to start a diplomatic process. You shall witness the greatness of the combined Guffingford-Panooly forces, the Imperial Guard, the latest examples of fine Panooly engineering, public executions, speeches, parades and the crown jewel: a marvellous bookburning!.." The crowd almost went through the roof upon hearing this, only a few remember the old Panooly bookburnings, which were a sight only vague memories can take back in these days. "...People, you are the chosen race! Be proud to be part of God's Kingdom, soon to be founded on the bones of our enemies. Our enemies, the filthy, unholy nation of Xeraph. They had the privilege of being amongst the strongest and purest of the earth, the RWC! But they thought they could flee unharmed, unwanted vermin they are. Now they have made a weak, foolish, pathetic return. A return from chaos, from anarchy from whence they came. But they are dragging ghosts of Satan, the brainchild of communism and anarchy, with them! A pox upon them, they are not allowed to procreate, the fiery fires of hell is their destination, not God's garden!"

<open international television broadcast>

"Greetings fellow citizens of the world. It has came to my attention that a nation... I forgot the name. Damn. Well probably too insignificant to earn a place in my mind. Oh yes, Xeraph. You see, this nation has a very personal agenda and uses his alliance, The Empire of One as a tool. His personal goal is to destroy the RWC, on his own to gain respect. He isn't making a big secret of it, hence his recent rallying of ignorant allies. But, there's a but, our intelligence has shown us they aren't very willing to fight. There are two options, you back your threats or you back down like the cowardly dog you are. We know Xeraph cannot back his claims or threats, we know the TEOO cannot and will not support him, we know the Xeraph economy is extremely weak versus ours. Faily simple game Xeraph, you threat and we treat you as the traitor you are. You could have lived like a rich man, now you are crawling down a drainpipe with other rats in a weak gathering you call The Empire of One. The spiral goes down.

In short and in conclusion, take your best shot and we'll show you our shot."

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/guffingford.jpg
The National Socialist Oligarchy Guffingford

OOC: Woo, go RWC... oh wait, no.

IC:

Having viewed this latest transmission from the Guffingfordii scum, the King decided it wasn't even worth the time responding to such drivel, and gave the paper copy of the transmission to his dog, who promptly shredded it.

President Anderson has also looked at the ongoing events in Guffingford and has decided that a written response should be written by the UnderDeputyAssistantVice-Secretary of Utter Uselessnes.

This may or may not be in the hands of the Guffingford ambassador to the IH by next year.

OOC: Thats an IM BORED TAG.

SIC To Guffingford:

"Alaric's gone off his rocker, most of TEOO is wondering what the fuck he's smoking."-The Great Leader Li.

"Ah, the perils of being a communist. We trust Xeraph has read this message and acts accordingly. However, this is directed at the entire TEOO and judging by the response of MassPwnage, we believe our intelligence has been correct all along."

- Adolph Leighmar, Führer of National Socialist Guffingford.

We applaud the actions and statements of our Brother-RWC member of Guffingford-Panooly.

For God and Saint Peter,

Criticus Zabic,
Foreign Affairs Advisor to the Emperor,

We laugh at Xeraph and their pathetic excuse for an alliance. If war is indeed inevitable, then Zarbian forces will assist in the destruction of The Empire of One.

-The Junta

Miss Rudolfinz, the secretary to the Fuhrer, appeared suddenly within his office. Viechal continued to sip his alchohol, slowly murdering his liver inch by inch.

"Sir?" Rudolfinz said, trying to grab his attention without angering the violent man. In such times, the Fuhrer was hardly pleasant.

"What is it? I am not in the mood to hear of your husband's illness, my dear. If it is of importance, than by all means address it." Viechal said, snapping back at his loyal secretary while holding his glass to his lip. He wished so much that the drink was that of chlorine or poison, for he wished to be dead. The world was far too much to escape.

"The Alaric...and The Great Guffingford...." Rudolfinz hesistantly began, trying to lure the Fuhrer away from his alchohol. "A war is possible."

"Damnit, Florence. I don't have the fucking patience to deal with your nonsense." responded the Fuhrer, slamming his glass so hard onto his desk it partially cracked and small drips of vodka began to escape the confines of its crystal.

"I'm serious, Sir." Rudolfinz said, startled by the anger in the Fuhrer's words. He was normally peaceful and quiet, but for the past month he was pissed at society as a whole. No culture could please him, they were all inferior and insufficient to provide him comfort.

"Florence...leave me for a minute. Address this issue when I am sober." the Fuhrer said, looking at the cracked glass of liquor.

"Agreed, Sir." Rudolfinz said, trying to calm the Fuhrer by speaking slowly and practically mumbling so he couldn't get pissed at anything she said...he wouldn't understand it anyway.

"I don't fucking care if you agree, just do it!" shouted Viechal, causing Florence to flee his office.

http://members.lycos.co.uk/manhattanproject120/flag4.jpg http://members.lycos.co.uk/manhattanproject120/flag4.jpg http://members.lycos.co.uk/manhattanproject120/flag4.jpg http://members.lycos.co.uk/manhattanproject120/flag4.jpg http://members.lycos.co.uk/manhattanproject120/flag4.jpg

SIEG HEIL - SIEG HEIL - SIEG HEIL - SIEG HEIL - SIEG HEIL - SIEG HEIL

"...And therefore today has been chosen to serve as the Great Day of Celebration, the bookburning will start at dawn. Do not miss it! Your empire is counting on you! Friends come to the central plaza of Extremadura Prime, the soft winds of the jungle will you a safe passage! Jesus and Tol-Uhm grant that no enemy shall ever set foot here! We will smite the heathens, our culture and our heritage are superior to others inferior attempts to gain more power and prestige..."

Those are the words of Joseph Cyre, a man of oustanding talents of political games and trickery. The burning will happen today, tonight while a party is thrown by the local council. The best, most expensive wines, fresh bloody meat, the finest herbs and dancing girls. During the laughter, the drinking and eating piles and piles of Xeraph literature along with several books from Dr_Twist were dragged to a massive firepit, 5 meters deep. Books were thrown and shoveled in, this already grand manifestation was about to become even greater, because Adolph Leighmar himself would light the fire.

Six hours later...

"Ladies and gentlemen, guests and servants. I ask you all to step forward and gaze upon this demonstration. Nations have defied us, threatened again with war. Not that we care about them or feel threatened. No, this is a symbolic sign we do not feel like following their stupid rules. For example, I shall hereby throw the NWO doctrine into the fire, like that!" Adolph thew the bundle of paper as hard as he could into the fire, to be consumed by the sorching heat. "What about the Qu'ran? We do not need this book of heathens! And there she goes!" The three hundred year old jewelled book disappeared into the flames. "Das Kapital! The scripture of the communists! Gone!" This time Adolph threw it softly in the now ranging inferno, the fire was getting bigger every second. Flames as high as houses. "The NATO and RBA charter! Away! And now friends, grab their books and burn them!"

<Excerpt from National News Program>

"... and on a lighter note, it seems that new issue toilet roll has been issued to all government offices. The rolls depict images of the RWC charter and of the Guffingfordii leader, Adolph Leighmar. Perhaps this is in response to the recent book-burnings as the Guffingfordii leader ordered any books that might enlighten his people to their plight to be burnt? Well, frankly, who cares. Here's a story about a singing hamster."

We in support of our Guffingfordii Allies are adding the material burnt in their recent great book burning into our Index of Censored Material for the Guilds and would suggust the Pope and the Catholic Church does similar in general.

For God and Saint Peter,

Cardinal Delangre,
Religious Advisor to the Emperor,

"Tonight the final ceremony of the grand festival will be held in honour of Franck Gerlach and Emperor Tilmun, died in their struggle for world peace. We will toast to their greed deeds and to their legacy they leave behind. None of the current leaders can surpass or even match their commitment and love for humanity. Our Führer Adolph Leighmar will also make a special announcement, regarding a very delightful event in history. In the other news today..."

"...and indeed, it was a glorious day! Friends of Empire, rejoice!..."

"...even though the bastards at McLeod03 have condemned our book burning, especially the incineration of Das Kapital they have clearly not taste the joys of national socialism, the stable centerpiece of all western democracies..."

"...surely, how can those morons at the NWO even keep themselves from starving? I can't even imagine how their nations are organized or are they even organized?..."

"...As we now venture in the darkness of space, we will discover something that will stun humanity. Or nothing will be found and everyone will live their lives around the clock as usual. Very interesting..."

"...if you look closely, you can see how the ant is carrying all the heavy leaves to his home to feed the queen and to prepare for the birth of newly hatched larvea. We do the same, building an Empire worthy for Jesus and the angels from Heaven, blessed be his name..."

"...in my opinion I honestly believe the NWO and NATO are just jealous of our supreme state built on the fine human basic rights of democracy, good housing, education and love, something that is not present in every nation of said gatherings..."

Bump to let Xeraph know of my diabolica scheme

OOC> My compliments...you are a very good writer. You almost got me believing the crap you wrote about me.

IC> The Emperor read with a great deal of amusement the article about Guff's book-burning escapade. " Typical nazi scum....they can't bear the thought that some one has an opinion differing from theirs, so they simply deny one exists, and then burn the proof. "

" Aye, Alaric. Just as their 'great leader. Hitler, did hundreds of years ago." Lt. Col Srery was a distant relative of the Emperor, and therefore was a bit more at ease in the Royal presence.

" I'm not going to let these idiots draw us into somethiing until we're ready to deal with them once and for all. We need to take care of our little 'problem' in the south first."

Srery nodded. "Yeah, their President thinks we're stupid. Just wait until we spring our little surprise on them."

Alaric grinned evilly and thought, "rebell against me, will you...?"

bump