NationStates Jolt Archive


Noobitopia Company HQ

Bureaucracia
07-02-2005, 04:06
(This is a joke, but feel free to post and act like a newbie or just laugh or pretend to buy something or be concerned)

Welcome to Noobitopia, the number one source for things that could never exist anywhere outside of NationStates! This is are HQ. Supposedly, it's relocated to Neptune, but we're right here in Nestwood, Bureaucracia and we don't know anything about that. Here are our items so far:

Noobitopia® Brand Accelerator- Cost: $92,000,000. This is the accelerator you'll want when constructing an invincible bunker out of antimatter. Or you could just use it to keep rebels out of your governmental mansion. I don't know, it's your choice!

9900938571859 00bEr tR00pz- Cost: $77,000,000 or your leader. Whichever is cheaper. Works best with nations with a population between five and fifty million. Need a better military? Want to crush those pesky huge nations that joined in July? Of 2003? Well, you're looking in the right place! These 00bEr tR00pz have a sixteen-day defect-free gaurauntee. They apparently are from the video games Halo 2 and MechAssault.

Noobitopia® Brand 00bEr N00k- Cost: $46,311,045,892. This 00bEr N00k destroys galaxies, man! Famous for being used in The Cassiopeia Galaxy's RP, the 00bEr N00k apparently destroys galaxies and blows up the universe, causing "I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing" by Aerosmith to be played. Be warned when you buy this, because it might be that your nation explode. (your nation explode is a inside joke reference to Homestarrunner)

Noobitopia® Brand '05 Concept Terrorist Car- Cost: $277,000. This car, dubbed "S00PER C@R" by anylysts, can jump to a height of fifty feet to evade police and authorities with a jump button cleverly concealed by a cup holder. Also comes with S00PER-D00PER bombs. This car is actually a modified '05 Ferrari, but don't tell anyone that Noobitopia didn't make the car!

Noobitopia® Shapeshifter Candy Bar- Cost: $4,000 a bar. Yous guys (inside joke) gotta try it 2D@y! If one of your Noobitopia 00bEr tR00pz has a bite of this, they could turn into something like a dragon, they could turn into a 50 foot tall weirdo that can crush everyone, or a half inch weirdo that can slip under locked doors! Works only in conjunction with 00bEr tR00pz. Which is why the bars are so cheap for what they do. We are not liable for any damages.

Buy six of everything! YEAH!
Bureaucracia
09-02-2005, 00:46
00bEr bump.
Bureaucracia
09-02-2005, 01:24
Bump
Democratic Colonies
09-02-2005, 03:57
OMFG teh 1337!!!111