NationStates Jolt Archive

Situation: Upper Xen needs a decent ROTC program.

Solution: It's MassPwnage with its long experience in military slave schools (like the Janissaries, except the methods are kept up to date) to the rescue.

ooc: UX reply tommorow.

"We thank MassPwnage for helping us being our military education program. We feel that this will aid our nation in building better troopers and leaders."

"To begin, we plan to integrate two periods of mandatory military education into our school system nationally. I will manage the program in conjunction with the Sec. of Education."

Takeda Motoko
Sec. of Defense
Demopublic of Upper Xen

"We will be sending an advisor over shortly... Please don't have him headcrabbed or anything."-The Great Leader Li.

"We will be sending an advisor over shortly... Please don't have him headcrabbed or anything."-The Great Leader Li.

Cool....and we will guard him. Whatever you heard, the Headcrab problem is not that serious."

Takeda Motoko
Sec. of Defense
Demopublic of Upper Xen

"Our advisor shall be... Cordell Huang, Undersecretary of Education. (ooc: Yes he's qualified). He'll be arriving at the location of your choice."-The Great Leader Li.

"Send him to Hong Kong International Airport, we will be waiting."

Takeda Motoko
Sec. of Defense
Demopublic of Upper Xen

Hong International Airport-

A gigantic MassPwnage government G80 landed at Hong Kong International. Instead of using the runway, it landed via it's gigantic fusion powered VTOL engines that melted the tarmac on contact. (Pwnage tarmac is of much higher quality, both because Lizardmen like to jump out of buildings and because of widespread fusion power).

A young asian human with gelled up hair in a snazzy business suit got off, guarded by 6 Imperial Guardsmen (think Honor Guard Elites from Halo 2, except with black and red armor). He was carrying a briefcase.

As Hong Kong Airport maintenance crews frantically tried to fix things, Secretary of Education Nakamura Gorobei and Secretary of Defense Takeda Motoko soon walked to greet the man, saying, "Welcome to Upper Xen."

Cordell shook hands with both Secretaries.

"I am Cordell Huang, Undersecretary of Education from the People's Republic of MassPwnage. And I'm sorry I turned your airport runway into a puddle of molten asphalt."

Takeda said, "Well, don't worry, we'll have that fixed. Apology accepted."


She then directed him to a convoy of Range Rovers. "Please, come with us."

"Of course." Cordell nodded and ordered his guardsmen to follow.

They got into the Range Rovers, the large guardsmen squeezing in as best they could into the backseats.

"Of course." Cordell nodded and ordered his guardsmen to follow.

They got into the Range Rovers, the large guardsmen squeezing in as best they could into the backseats.

The two Secretaries got in the back and ordered their driver: "Hit it, Jack."

The motorcade soon began moving off of the tarmac, and began driving into Hong Kong's merciless traffic.

Nakamura soon turned to Cordell and said, "So....the plan is today, we show our typical middle school, and then our high school. Then, we go to the Peninsula, and get some drinks, then, we get some work started. You hungry?"

Cordell replied "No, but my guards might be... And they eat alot. Maybe an 80 pound pig for each guard should do it."

ooc; Lizards are carnivores that eat around 80-120 pounds of meat a day.

Cordell replied "No, but my guards might be... And they eat alot. Maybe an 80 pound pig for each guard should do it."

ooc; Lizards are carnivores that eat around 80-120 pounds of meat a day.

OOC: Wow. :eek:



IC:

Nakamura was slighly taken aback by this, but he concealed it and said, "Well, I am sure that the Peninsula Hotel can supply that. They make an excellent roast pig."

"Good, they tend to get testy when they're hungry. Normally lizards are rather passive, but if they haven't eaten, they'll start attacking things. Oh well, if their food requirements are too much for you, they can stand on the beaches and nab a few antlions."

Nakamura said, "Well, the antlions have been a bit ravenous recently, I think its the chemicals, your men can have a go at them. Still, for now, we're going to treat you to the Manchu-Han Banquet. It'll fill em up."

"Good enough I suppose."

ooc: out for the night.

bUmP fOr UpPeR XeN

"Good enough I suppose."

ooc: out for the night.

Nakamura said, smiling, "Good enough? At several courses of fine meats and such, it is more than enough....."

"Ah well anyway... let's continue to the Middle School."

*bump*

The motorcade soon pulled into Hong Kong PJHS 110, a typical Xenizen Middle School. It was about 12:47 now, the students were back at class.

The motorcade parked, and soon, the Secretaries got out. Then, after letting out the Pwnage advisor, they met with the Principal, who was waiting outside.

The Principal said, "Good day, Mr. Hwang, I am Principal Jack Zhu, I run this bedlam. Please, follow me."

He led the group inside, into an area that looked pretty schoolish, the lobby was white on the floor, and the yellow brick walls were decorated with ads for School Dances and Yearbooks, along with Motivational Posters and a map of the School. The Cafeteria was on their right, the left and forward led to the halls where the Classrooms would be.

He then led him down to the Gym, here, kids were playing Dodgeball, and as usual, the weak ones were getting creamed.

Cordell observed the scene. He didn't need to take notes, because he didn't forget anything he saw. Ever.

"Hmm... dodgeball. This is interesting to watch."

A stray rubber ball flew towards Cordell's head. The man caught it and threw it back at the player that threw it. He threw it back at the player that threw it in the first place with an easy motion of his wrist.

The ball, moving really quickly (ooc: Cordell's an ex-Pathfinder), hit the poor kid and dropped him to his knees, groaning in pain.

One of the guardsmen asked: "Was that really necessary?"

Cordell observed the scene. He didn't need to take notes, because he didn't forget anything he saw. Ever.

"Hmm... dodgeball. This is interesting to watch."

A stray rubber ball flew towards Cordell's head. The man caught it and threw it back at the player that threw it. He threw it back at the player that threw it in the first place with an easy motion of his wrist.

The ball, moving really quickly (ooc: Cordell's an ex-Pathfinder), hit the poor kid and dropped him to his knees, groaning in pain.

One of the guardsmen asked: "Was that really necessary?"

The Principal said, "Mmmkay......well, anyway, the gym is is quite large, several thousand square foot."

He then pointed to a huge closet full of balls and athletic equipment. "Here is the atheltics storage. We play US Football here and baseball, plus lacrosse and basketball."

"Hmm... Not bad. But still, no exposure to firearms, no exposure to anything that desensitizes the mind to violence. No exposure to hand-to-hand combat. Also, all the games have set rules, nothing that promotes creativity. But then again, your nation isn't too militaristic. Anyway... let's check out academics, we can get back to physical work later."

"Hmm... Not bad. But still, no exposure to firearms, no exposure to anything that desensitizes the mind to violence. No exposure to hand-to-hand combat. Also, all the games have set rules, nothing that promotes creativity. But then again, your nation isn't too militaristic. Anyway... let's check out academics, we can get back to physical work later."

The Rpincipal said, "Well we do have a drill team and a Rifle Club. Anyway..."

He walked them down to a Physics Lab. There, he opened the door, and the Pwnage Advisor was exposed to the sight of students fiddling with graphing calculators, and sliding balls down ramps of varying angles rigged with speed recorders and testing their speeds, recording the results and making graphs furiously on paper.

The teacher was helping some, the blackboard was filled with equations and homework assignments. Walls were filled with posters, some motivational, others scientific in nature.

Nakamura and the others stepped in, and the teacher said, "Oh, Hello, Mr. Nakamura! I am Mr. Kerensky, I teach Physics. This is my class."

Nakamura then said, "Good day, this is Mr. Hwang from the Pwnage Government, we are just giving him a little tour."

He then turned to Mr. Hwang. "Hello, sir, this is my Advanced Physics Class, this is for those who have demostrated aptitude in the Sciences. How do you like it?"

"Ah good old physics... I remember this class? I'll just watch for a bit, meanwhile..."

Cordell motioned to one of the guardsmen to go get something. Then he asked the teacher something.

"Mind if I show these kids something after they're done?"

"Ah good old physics... I remember this class? I'll just watch for a bit, meanwhile..."

Cordell motioned to one of the guardsmen to go get something. Then he asked the teacher something.

"Mind if I show these kids something after they're done?"

Kerensky, the teacher, said, "Sure."

"Ok. Good."

The Guardsman came back with the rail system, and the (small) fusion reactor of a handheld railgun.

Cordell set all the equipment up on a lab table.

"Now, kids, by watching ,you agree not to sue the governments of the Demopublic of Upper Xen or the People's Republic of MassPwnage or any representatives thereof if you choose to duplicate this experiment at home and end up getting electrocuted."

Cordell continued.

"Now, I have no trigger system for this weapon, thus the circuit between the rails and the reactor cannot be completed. Can anyone here improvise a solution that would allow me to complete the circuit without personal injury to myself or others?"

Cordell called on a guy that raised his hand.

"Well, you could use 2 paper clips to bridge the gap."

"Well, I would have to be touching the paper clips, and then, i'd get electrocuted."

A girl raised her hand.

"Maybe you could just wire the reactor up to something like an car battery and then attach the jumpers to the rails."

"Excellent solution, just what I was thinking. But we don't have a car battery here. So we're going to improvise by..."

Cordell grabbed the iPod and headphones of the boy who suggested the paper clip solution.

Cordell took the headphones apart, then popped the battery cover off the iPod. Cordell sat the rails pointing straight up, onto the iPod's batteries, then he took the forked end of the Y shaped headphone wires and linked them to the fusion reactor. Then, he took the other wire and touched it to the batteries.

The iPod almost immediately melted into a plastic puddle, as the rails turned blue and a large amount of electricity was discharged, leaving a (temporary) lightning bolt and a pretty blue corkscrew trail hanging in the air.

"Now wasn't that neat?"

The kids simply clapped, and the kids yelled "Yay!!!!"

Evidently, they did not care about the death of their friends' iPod, the kid was a jerk anyway.

Next Cordell asked: "Would it be ok I took a look at what classes are at this school?"

Next Cordell asked: "Would it be ok I took a look at what classes are at this school?"

The Principal then said, "Well, sure, this is the purpose of the tour."

He then led Cordell outside, where he was led to another classroom.

The door opened, it revealed a Home Economics Class. Here, in one corner, kids were working ovens, mixing batter for cakes, and fiddling with cookbooks and aprons. In another corner, there was a group of kids working on sewing machines and using needles and thread, fixing clothes and making new pairs of jeans and shirts, sometimes getting mad, soemtimes enjoying themselves.

Others were working washing machines, putting clothes in, and getting nervous when the machine flashed the "unbalanced load" message, and made the accompanying rocking movements.

The teacher, and oldish looking lady in her 60's, walked up to Cordell and said, "Good day sir, I am Mrs. Jiang. This is my Home Ec class."

"Home economics, actually that's useful. Learning how to cook is much better than eating at McDonalds each and everyday. Those who are good at Home Ec tend to not to be slobs."

"Home economics, actually that's useful. Learning how to cook is much better than eating at McDonalds each and everyday. Those who are good at Home Ec tend to not to be slobs."

Jiang then said, smiling, "Thank you! That's a lot more respect then I get from the Science department."

She then said, stepping aside "Do you wish to come in?"

"Oh sure, why not?"

Cordell stepped in, telling the guards to stand at the door (and not steal any of the meat in the freezers).

"Oh sure, why not?"

Cordell stepped in, telling the guards to stand at the door (and not steal any of the meat in the freezers).

As he stepped in, one of the students, a 12-year old girl, said, "Sir, I need to ask you something."

She held up a cake and presented it to him. "It is a chocolate cake.....perhaps you would like to try it, see if everything went okay? This is my fifth try."

"Er... sure..."

Cordell took a small piece of the cake and put it in his mouth.

He smiled, despite the fact that the cake tasted more like what a Lizardman should eat.

"Maybe just a little less bacon next time."

"Er... sure..."

Cordell took a small piece of the cake and put it in his mouth.

He smiled, despite the fact that the cake tasted more like what a Lizardman should eat.

"Maybe just a little less bacon next time."

The girl said, "Huh? Bacon!? Okay......not again....."

She then went off and began to try again. Meanwhile, Nakamura tried out another person's cake, and said, "Hey Cordell! This one's not bad! Try some."

The Chocolate cake was rich, smooth and velvety.

"Excellent. This is some good stuff."

The Chocolate cake was rich, smooth and velvety.

"Excellent. This is some good stuff."

The kid next to the kid who made the good cake, a nderdy kid, said, "DON'T!!! JIMMY PUT WEED AND LSD IN THE CAKE!"

Nakamura spat it out and said, "Damn, that's why I saw Totoro running around singing 'Gloria' by Laura Branigan....."

Jiang said, "Jimmy, go to the office....I am suspending you, you know better than to put drugs in the cake!"

Jimmy said, "But my mom does it all the time when she makes brownies!"

Jiang said, "That doesn't matter! GO TO THE OFFICE!"

Jiang went to the office and called down the School Nurse.

She then turned to Cordell and said, "I'm sorry......so sorry......he's never done this before. None of my students ever did this before."

Cordell shrugged.

"Eh, don't worry, I'm largely immune to the effects of psychoactives, although that nasty fairy with the railgun hovering right outside my field of vision is getting annoying."

The guards decided that the malefactor needed some form of discipline other than say suspension.

Little Jimmy was on the ground, vomiting his guts out and shivering, his extremities turning blue. There were 2 small, barely visible pricks in his neck where one of the guards had bitten him.

"Don't worry, he'll live. I only injected enough to send him to the hospital.... for a couple of months."

Cordell shrugged.

"Eh, don't worry, I'm largely immune to the effects of psychoactives, although that nasty fairy with the railgun hovering right outside my field of vision is getting annoying."

The guards decided that the malefactor needed some form of discipline other than say suspension.

Little Jimmy was on the ground, vomiting his guts out and shivering, his extremities turning blue. There were 2 small, barely visible pricks in his neck where one of the guards had bitten him.

"Don't worry, he'll live. I only injected enough to send him to the hospital.... for a couple of months."

Mrs. Jiang said, "You're lucky you have diplomatic immunity, or else I would have handed you over to the police!"

The nurse then got Jimmy and said, "GOOD GOD! What did you do to him?"

The Guard spoke thusly: "Well, after he fed our Advisor and the Secretary of Education some cake laced with acid, I determined that merely suspending him wouldn't stop his drug use, so I injected him with some of my venom. But he'll live."

Jimmy was blue, as stiff as a board and cold as ice, but still breathing in shallow, ragged gasps.

The Guard spoke thusly: "Well, after he fed our Advisor and the Secretary of Education some cake laced with acid, I determined that merely suspending him wouldn't stop his drug use, so I injected him with some of my venom. But he'll live."

Jimmy was blue, as stiff as a board and cold as ice, but still breathing in shallow, ragged gasps.

The School Nurse said, "He looks terrible......we've gotta get him to Freeman Memorial."

The nurse dialed 911, and five minutes later, a team of paramedics took Jimmy to the Hospital.

The Principal said, "Ok......now, to the Shop."

He led Cordell to the Metals and Woods Shop, here, kids in safety gear were hammering away at cabinets, making metal bookends, tools, and toy cars. The sound of machinery moving was heard, and it looked more like a factory than a Shop. The teacher then said, "Hello, I'm Mr. Sapolsky, Shop teacher. I tell these guys how to work raw materials into useful tools and art works that they can be proud of, giving them a skill...how about you?"

Cordell thought for a bit.

"I'm an education advisor from MassPwnage. This class looks interesting. Do you teach bomb making here?"

Cordell thought for a bit.

"I'm an education advisor from MassPwnage. This class looks interesting. Do you teach bomb making here?"

Sapolsky thought, and said, "Uh, no. But I think you could use these skills to make guns.......Lord knows I did once, at National Armscorp."

Cordell grinned wickedly.

"Ah... National Armscorp, not a bad company. Oh, and you have enough machine tools here to make an AK-47."

Cordell asked the class: "Who here wants to see me make an AK-47?"

Cordell grinned wickedly.

"Ah... National Armscorp, not a bad company. Oh, and you have enough machine tools here to make an AK-47."

Cordell asked the class: "Who here wants to see me make an AK-47?"

Sapolsky said, "Sure."

The class said, "OOhhh......" in a very positive light.

Cordell motioned to the Guards.

"Get to work. Hurry up."

The guards went to work, stamping metal sheets, boring billets, twisting wire into springs etc.

Meanwhile, Cordell went, grabbed some Clorox teflon based toilet bowl cleaner and reacted it with something else, making a thick waxy substance.

In about 40 minutes, the guards finished one AK-47 with one clip of ammunition.

"Now" Cordell said as began dipping the bullets into the waxy substance, "An AK is no good unless you have some good old fashioned armor piercing bullets. Urban culture has given Teflon coated bullets the name "cop killers" for their ability to penetrate kevlar vests. If you're in the mood for some chemistry, the recipie for pure homemade Teflon is at www.masspwnage.co.mp."

Cordell loaded a magazine and slammed it into the gun.

"Now, which teacher do you all hate the most here?"

Cordell motioned to the Guards.

"Get to work. Hurry up."

The guards went to work, stamping metal sheets, boring billets, twisting wire into springs etc.

Meanwhile, Cordell went, grabbed some Clorox teflon based toilet bowl cleaner and reacted it with something else, making a thick waxy substance.

In about 40 minutes, the guards finished one AK-47 with one clip of ammunition.

"Now" Cordell said as began dipping the bullets into the waxy substance, "An AK is no good unless you have some good old fashioned armor piercing bullets. Urban culture has given Teflon coated bullets the name "cop killers" for their ability to penetrate kevlar vests. If you're in the mood for some chemistry, the recipie for pure homemade Teflon is at www.masspwnage.co.mp."

Cordell loaded a magazine and slammed it into the gun.

"Now, which teacher do you all hate the most here?"

One kid said, "The damn band teacher!"

The Principal then said, "NO! Okay, Mr. Hwang, I think you've outstayed your welcome here, there is a thing as bad taste.....we don't want any trouble..."

Nakamura then said, "Well, I am sure he will not kill anyone, just test it on a dummy....."

He turned to Cordell. "Right?"

"I would never kill a person for being a bad teacher.... the test will be on said band teacher's car.... But we should verify the accusations of the student before taking any further action."

Cordell turned to the kids.

"I'll be out in the parking lot in one hour."

The kid showed him to the band room.

"Hey! Guy who said he'd shoot up the car! Follow me!"

Mr. Sapolsky said, "Hey, Sign a pass!"

The kid filled out a pass, and Mr. Sapolsky signed it.

The kid soon thanked Mr. Sapolsky and led him to the band room. There, a man was leading the kids in a song.

The sound of instruments playing crappily was loud, and the band teacher said, "No no no! What have I told you!? Do you not practice?!"

He pointed to a kid in the trumpet section. "Mr. Blacker! Your pitch is awful.....fix your slide, lemme tune it."

Turning to a kid on the piano he said, "Geo, play a C."

He played the C, and the conductor and the kid began tuning.

The teacher saw the kid's binder, went up to the kid and said, "You ASS! You call this a binder!"

He threw the kid's binder on the floor. Commanding him, he said, "Clean that shit up."

The band teacher then said, "Okay, you maggots, I want to hear some good music........"

He began having them play again. Then, one person squeaked in the clarinet section, and then, he ran to the person who did it, and snatched her clarinet from her hands.

He then yelled: "F**king fix this clarinet, or you go to the Office!"'

The girl cried.....and then the band teacher said, "F**k you, I'm writing you up for insubordination."

As he went to his desk, he went, "Can't I get a f**king class that can f**king read music!?"

Meanwhile, the kid that brought him to the room whispered to Cordell, "That dude has a grudge against me.....he gives me extra music theory work and refuses to help me.....and you see him......his car is the red Mercedes Benz E55 AMG with the license plate 'BAD MFR.'"

"Wow. He is an ass. Get the Shop class and the guards, tell them to meet me in the parking lot."

Meanwhile, Cordell drove the Mercedes into the middle of the basketball court, having easily picked the lock and defeated the car's security systems.

Taking the kiddie porn, cocaine and the M1911 out of the glove compartment, Cordell got up out of the car and shut the doors.

The one the guards meanwhile, got a handheld railgun out from one of the Land Rovers (for later use).

"Wow. He is an ass. Get the Shop class and the guards, tell them to meet me in the parking lot."

Meanwhile, Cordell drove the Mercedes into the middle of the basketball court, having easily picked the lock and defeated the car's security systems.

Taking the kiddie porn and the M1911 out of the glove compartment, Cordell got up out of the car and shut the doors.

The one the guards meanwhile, got a handheld railgun out from one of the Land Rovers (for later use).

The kid said, "Holy shit!" reacting to the events.

The band teacher, meanwhile, was haranguing his students, unaware of the chaos to come.....

Cordell began to speak to the shop class.

"Today, you will witness the destruction of a car. Pity, this car's a good car. Now for your safety, I request that you stand at least 100m from the car in case it explodes."

Walking over to Principal Zhu, Cordell handed over the kiddie porn and cocaine to him.

"I believe these items are the property of your band teacher."

Cordell began to speak to the shop class.

"Today, you will witness the destruction of a car. Pity, this car's a good car. Now for your safety, I request that you stand at least 100m from the car in case it explodes."

Walking over to Principal Zhu, Cordell handed over the kiddie porn and cocaine to him.

"I believe these items are the property of your band teacher."

The Principal said, "National Police are going to have a ball.....you know, Don, that summary execution is the sentence for drug selling?! I was wondering how all that cocaine got into our school."

Meanwhile, on that note, Zhu called the Police. Soon, several men in trenchcoats walked into the area and the leader said, "National Police, Special Agent Putilov."

He turned to "Don" and pulled out a MAC-10. "Well, selling drugs, are we!? You know the sentence. We don't stand for that, especially on school grounds....."

Don soon began pleading, but Putilov then said, "F**k you. You make me sick."

He raised the gun and said, "By the Power Vested in me by the Demopublic of Upper Xen-"

Nakamura said, "Hold on, let the kids have a go at him."

The Special Agent said, "Okay......" He stepped back and he said, "Kids, you want me to shoot him? He's a deviant and a drug dealer."

"Wait... wait..." Said Cordell, "I have a better idea. Let's put him in car...."

The kids said, "YEAH! Smash his car first! Then shoot him!"

He turned to Cordell. "Hey, buddy. You wanted a go at this guy's car? You've got diplomatic immunity, go ahead. Throw him in.....I want a go, though."

"Alright then... you get to deliver the coup de grace. If you can fire a 100 pound railgun in a standing position. These kids do need to be entertained."

Cordell tied Don to the front seat of his Mercedes and shut the door.

"Now kids, you're going watch a man shit his pants in fear."

Offhandedly, Cordell shot off the hood ornament of the Mercedes without even looking at the target. Don squealed in fright. Then he shot the fuzzy dice hanging from the mirror, then the rearview mirror itself, laughing like a maniac.

"Alright then... you get to deliver the coup de grace. If you can fire a 100 pound railgun in a standing position. These kids do need to be entertained."

Cordell tied Don to the front seat of his Mercedes and shut the door.

"Now kids, you're going watch a man shit his pants in fear."

Offhandedly, Cordell shot off the hood ornament of the Mercedes without even looking at the target. Don squealed in fright. Then he shot the fuzzy dice hanging from the mirror, then the rearview mirror itself, laughing like a maniac.

The kids soon cheered, and many of the other teachers either cheered or showed expressions of dismay.

Eventually, it looked like Don did shit his pants....and the worst was yet to come. For Putilov took the railgun and fired it at Don, rendering his head to little bits and demolishing the top-front half of the car.

Falling flat on his back, he said, "WHOO!"

The kids then clapped.

The car was torn in half by the impact of the railgun. Both halves spun like tops on the ground for a few seconds before stopping.

Don's torso was split from groin to collarbone and his guts were pouring out onto the ground. Cordell handed the AK to the Shop teacher.

Turning to Nakamura he said, "Alright... let's visit the High School, shall we?"

Looking down at Putilov, Cordell smiled

"Nice shot man."

The car was torn in half by the impact of the railgun. Both halves spun like tops on the ground for a few seconds before stopping.

Don's torso was split from groin to collarbone and his guts were pouring out onto the ground.

"Alright... let's visit the High School, shall we?"

Looking down at Putilov, Cordell smiled

"Nice shot man."

Putilov highfived Cordell, saying, "Thanks, man.....that was the most fun summary execution I've done in a while."

He then got into his black Ford LTD, along with his buddies, and drove off.

Nakamura then said, "Alrighty then, let's go to the High School."

They then got into the Range Rovers in the front, and motioned for Cordell to join them.

Cordell and the guards got into the Range Rovers.

Meanwhile in the car, Cordell chambered another DU slug into the railgun.

Cordell and the guards got into the Range Rovers.

Meanwhile in the car, Cordell chambered another DU slug into the railgun.

Nakamura then said, "Now, we go to the High School.....this will be PSHS No. 60. Driver, hit it!"

They soon began going to the High School. The kids were cheering and waving goodbye, proud that one of the worst teachers in the school was dead.

"Actually, there was something I forgot to do at the middle school that I want to do at the High School. May I take some time alone to meet with the errr... outcasts, druggies etc.?"

"Actually, there was something I forgot to do at the middle school that I want to do at the High School. May I take some time alone to meet with the errr... outcasts, druggies etc.?"

Nakamura said, "Sure....the druggies we throw in rehab, but outcasts, there are plenty. Most are those damned Goths or Emo kids, whining over how their good lives are sucky and how they wanna die....at least the Emo kids are relatable, they don't get funny looking like the Goths."

"Alright we're here. Hopefully none of the teachers here abuse drugs."

Cordell and the guards got off.

"Alright we're here. Hopefully none of the teachers here abuse drugs."

Cordell and the guards got off.

They were met by the Principal, who was a gregarious Russian man.

He introduced himself as "Principal Yevgeny Efirimovich Nabokov. Please come in."

He then led the party inside, the High School was considerably more reserved than the Middle School, if anything, much of the walls were decorated with College ads and Class Ring ads. Kids were walking the halls, and hall monitors were keeping traffic moving.

"Let's get started shall we?"

Well, this place was an improvement over the ADD riddled middle school.

"Let's get started shall we?"

The Principal led Cordell to the Social Studies wing.

There, he opened the door, and led them inside a room with about 10-15 students, and a map of Upper Xen on the blackboard. The teacher was leading a lively discussion about the rise of the Meiji Imperium.

"...so, class, there are those that say, the Meiji Imperium was motivated by the economic elite, who wanted to consolidate power in their own hands. Others say it was a popular movement that sought to restore order in Upper Xen. What do you say?"

One student, a girl, said, "Well, I think it was a popular movement.....clearly, the people voted Mutsuhito into power, even after the Civil War, and they wanted him there because he would rebuild the nation to, if not its former self, then a stronger, more competitive power."

Another kid, an Emo kid with a "Halo" t-shirt, said, "For whose benefit? The elite clearely backed Mutsuhito, they motivated their workers to vote for him under pressure, and many who did vote for him were of the middle and upper classes. There were those who voted for him that were from the working class, but they were a minority. And besides, it was with the help of the zaibatsus that he took power as Emperor of Upper Xen."

The girl said, "Perhaps, but the middle clas was fast becoming a majority, during this time, many Chinese and Japanese alike were earning at least 20,000 Xenthalers a year, in modern terms, putting them in the middle class. Also, those stories are from a minority of employers. Many working class men voted with their own minds."

Cordell watched silently, then surrepitiously grabbed a textbook and thumbed through it, looking for "Gordon Freeman" and "Sierra Corp." The textbook would have to explain why the hell these people worshipped a computer game character, not that there was anything wrong with that.... But still, it was a bit of a strange national habit.

Cordell watched silently, then surrepitiously grabbed a textbook and thumbed through it, looking for "Gordon Freeman" and "Sierra Corp." The textbook would have to explain why the hell these people worshipped a computer game character, not that there was anything wrong with that.... But still, it was a bit of a strange national habit.

The teacher, a gruff Rhode Islander, noticed his flipping and said, "The heck are you doing!?"

He then got up, and flipped to the "War Of Restoration" chapter.

The text read:

.....This phase, beginning with Xonxt's Defection in 1756, is called the "Downfall." It would result in Nihilanth's death, and the breaking of the shackles that held the people in a most unpleasant state of bondage. But first a few more ingredients would need to be added to the pot.

Far away, in Northern New York, lived one of these ingredients. He was a perfect Enlightenment era renaissance man. He was an ameteur scientist (having published several important papers on the nature of electricity and energy), believed in the natural rights of the people, and was a carpenter. He had an usually characteristic beard, black-rimmed glasses, and maybe as a result of his profession, carried a red crowbar always. He used it to fight evil in his home colony, be it wolves, thieves, bandits, or the occasional French raid. His name: Gordon Freeman.

Gordon was involved in the French and Indian War, leading a militia force against the Iroquois and the French in the border regions near Canada. Here, he gained great prestige and fame for the use of his crowbar in battle. Many observers who fought with him claimed he never fired a shot. He would always use his crowbar to answer any challenge the French posed, and they soon feared him as "Le Homme avec un pied-de-biche:" the Crowbar Man.

As this fight was proceeding, he met a few more people that would soon liberate Upper Xen. During this time, a particularly useful and helpful person met Mr. Freeman and joined his infantry force. He was an Irish backwoodsman who, though not sharing Freeman's interest in science and "natural rights," did like guns. He was, in his home village, a gunsmith, a town watchman, and an excellent marksman. His bravery (some would say, to the point of stupidity) saved Freeman from a surprise night attack, earning him Gordon's lifelong respect. This man was Barnabas Calhoun.

"Barney," as he was called, proved to be a true friend to Gordon, and the two bailed each other out on numerous occasions. After the war, the two went their seperate ways, though they wrote often. Barney moved his gunsmithing business, and did a brisk trade, while Gordon continued his scientific pursuits, joining with two others: a retired Professor from Yale College named Walter Bennett, a physician named Dr. Kleiner, and a free black man with his own almanac and a shipping company named Dr. Eli Vance. The group, calling themselves the Lambda Society for Reason and Intellectual Perfection, continued blissfully pursuing science, until another cataclysm hit New York: the American Revolution. The war turned them into Patriots, but the Lambdas had to flee into the backwoods to avoid being caught by the British. They soon joined with other Patriot forces from Upstate, and fought the forces of the British generals St. Leger and Burgoyne. The two generals soon commented that their Indian and Loyalist allies and their regulars were all quaking in fear "over some damn fool with a carpenters' implement," to quote Burgoyne.

"That damn fool with a carpenters' implement" soon got his old reputation back, as at Oriskany and later at Saratoga, he and his friends began to perform heroic acts of bravery. Some recounted Freeman's charges into British cavalry lines with only a crowbar, some recounted Calhoun's use of several pistols at once, Pirate-style, to take down incoming Indians. Stories soon abounded, not all of them true. Whatever is true or not, there is only one certain thing. After the Revolution, Freeman was eager to settle down, and go back to science. But the traders returning from China soon brought tales of an epic battle for freedom, against a foe that seemed to have come from Hell itself. To prove this, a Chinese man had come to America, with a Vortigaunt in tow. The display and the Chinese man's speech, filtered through a Yankee interpreter, proved motivating, but America, busy with trying to establish itself as a nation, could not spare forces to aid China or Japan.

But Gordon Freeman could spare himself. He persuaded Barney, whose village was sacked by the Mohawks in a retalitory raid during the Revolution, to join him, along with the rest of the Lambda Society on what Freeman wrote was "a quest for liberty, and to bring light into darkness." Eli organized an expedition using the funds from his almanac, pruchased a ship, and organized an expedition.

Several months later, Gordon and Company, aboard a Yankee Clipper Ship called the SS Pequod, landed in Ningbo. By this time, Nihilanth had lost control of the Yellow River, and much of his warp system was destroyed.

Yet he still held on. The mad being still held Canton in his clutches and fortified it with a huge network of fortresses, warp gates, and increasingly, Shocktrooper mercenaries from another world, Race X. It was rumored that an agent of Nihilanth's had actually gone to Europe to witness how these humans developed their "technology," and this visit resulted in the development of Vauban-style fortresses in a huge network around Canton and the Pearl River, called, the Nihilanth Line. He was confident no humans could get in, and in fact, he even dreamed of rebuilding his empire.....

Little did Nihilanth know, however, that Gordon Freeman, Barney Calhoun, and the Lambdas, plus his rebellious Chinese and Vortiguant subjects, were craftier than he thought. They knew very well that for all of his fortifications, for all of his mercenaries, he was not invincible.

The Forces of Freedom had a Teleporter, used by the hated foe. The Lambdas discovered that this gate could be used to travel anywhere, as long as it had power and was connected to other gates.....but htey had no power.

Then, Gordon and his firends saw what the Chinese resistance and the Vortiguants had known for years. That the way to power these on Earth, was to use a special type of crystal, brought by the Borderworlders, that would create some kind of reaction that would open a portal. We know this reaction now as a Resonance Cascade, and this rediscovery proved useful, especially when a band of Chinese were able to acquire some, by means unknown to this day. They were able to open the portal, using the crystal and a lighting bolt......plus a good amount of luck.

The portal opened, Gordon, Xonxt, Barney, a Chinese man known only to us as the "Warrior" and a kuniochi ninja, whose name too has been lost to history, stepped through the portal. By good chance, they entered the castle of Nihilanth......and the Tale of Gordon Freeman tells what happened next.

"...they stepped inside, and were greeted with a most hideous dungeon. Gordon frowned at the sight, it was disgusting, the Spanish Inquisition would be proud of the torture machines and macabre instruments inside. A living factory seemed to exist, seeming to make soldiers out of a green jelly....Barney said to Gordon, 'I have a feeling that we will have many trophies tonight.'

It is then reported that Gordon and Company fought through the Complex, they systematically destroyed the factory, and fought many warriors, remaining unscathed. They reached Nihilanth's inner sanctum, where, in a fantastic fight, he and the rest of the crew fought Nihilanth using swords, crowbars, and 18th-century Grenades. In the end, the Grenades did the trick, weakening Nihilanth to the point where it took only one hit with Gordon's crowbar to finish him off.

The war was over, the Warp Gates to Xen stopped working, as their master and controller was no longer there to control them.

The people were free......now, the rebuilding had to begin. This was the hard part.

"Err... sorry about that... I was just wondering what role Sierra Corp. played in your nation's history, you know with all the popularity of Half-Life and all."

*bump!*

"Err... sorry about that... I was just wondering what role Sierra Corp. played in your nation's history, you know with all the popularity of Half-Life and all."

The teacher then said, "e qudisca! (OOC: SOmething my AP US History teacher says, I tried to render it as best I could) Sierra Company is responsible for a very successful game that is popular here, but come on....."

He then said, "Anyway class, do questions 20-40 for tonight. And your Civil War papers are due Wednesday, don't slack off!"

The class groaned, and bargained in vain for more time, still, the teacher said, "Ah, relax, just budget your time...."

"Alright, alright..."

The kid with the Halo shirt ended up passing the Guards outside...

"Alright, alright..."

The kid with the Halo shirt ended up passing the Guards outside...

He then stopped and went, "Woah.....I really have to stop taking those antidepressants. Are you guys Covenant Elites?"

The Guards looked at each other sheepishly.

"Ehmm.. what???"

Guard to Guard (In Lizard): "I think he's talking about that Xbox game."

"Oh wait.... that."

"Er... yea... wanna humor this kid?"

"Sure."

Guards (in Chinese (ooc: I'm assuming we're using Chinese since it's a language UX and MP have in common.): "Ehmm.. sure! Of course we are."

The Guards looked at each other sheepishly.

"Ehmm.. what???"

Guard to Guard (In Lizard): "I think he's talking about that Xbox game."

"Oh wait.... that."

"Er... yea... wanna humor this kid?"

"Sure."

Guards (in Chinese (ooc: I'm assuming we're using Chinese since it's a language UX and MP have in common.): "Ehmm.. sure! Of course we are."

OOC: Meh, its fine.

IC:

The kid said, "Wow, man, this is so awesome! Hey guys, come here!"

His buddies came up to the Guards and said, "Holy shit dude, Covenant Elites! Or look alikes......."

One got a digital camera. "I need a pic for Photo Class. Can I have a group shot with you guys?"

"Um... sure... Why not? How should we pose?"

"Um... sure... Why not? How should we pose?"

The kid said, "Well, hold up your guns, and we will pose in front of you, you guys are pretty big. Then, I'll take the shot."

He then began sizing up the crowd, telling his friends to move this way and that way, to get them into the viewfinder.

The guards, turned Covenant Elites posed for the camera.

Then Cordell came out and asked.

"Just what the hell are you doing??"

The guards, turned Covenant Elites posed for the camera.

Then Cordell came out and asked.

"Just what the hell are you doing??"

The kid turned and said, "Relax, it's for a Photography Class."

Then, he then said, "Okay, and say Cheese!" aiming the camera at the crowd.

The student took the picture.

Cordell motioned to the guards

"Alright, we have to continue, and please, put the railgun down please, you're gonna kill everyone in the floors above if you fire."

Cordell looked the kid with the Halo t-shirt in the eye.

"You really believed they were Elites, didn't you? One tip for you, get off the Xbox and get a life, you owe it to yourself."

The student took the picture.

Cordell motioned to the guards

"Alright, we have to continue, and please, put the railgun down please, you're gonna kill everyone in the floors above if you fire."

Cordell looked the kid with the Halo t-shirt in the eye.

"You really believed they were Elites, didn't you? One tip for you, get off the Xbox and get a life, you owe it to yourself."

The Emo kid then said, "Meh. I'm used to disappointment."

He then walked away with his books and his camera.

The Principal said, "Let us go now....."

He led the party to another room, here, it was a biology lab, kids in lab coats and goggles were dissecting dead Headcrabs, and a teacher with a cardigan vest and glasses that looked like a certain videogame scientist said, walking around examining the students, "Okay now, easy there Mr. Hu, the Main Poison gland is very delicate. Ms. Bleknap, please watch the legs. Mr. Kang! That scalpel is not a toy! Mr. Goldstein, nice job, love the clean entry into the Crab's stomach."

He then walked to an aquarium with a live Headcrab in it. He then puled out a slice of roast beef and said, "Here you go, Hedy, have some food," putting the beef inside.

The Crab ate it, and it lept with joy.

"Ah, the natural fauna of Upper Xen." Cordell turned to the guards.

"No eating anything in here, not the snarks, not the headcrabs, not the Xen tubeworms, not the butterflies, nothing."

"Damnit... come on... I've never had headcrab before..."

"No."

"Ok, ok!"

The guards busied themselves with photographing the vortigaunt, antlion and alien grunt anatomy charts, and postulating at any weak spots on their bodies.

"Ah, the natural fauna of Upper Xen." Cordell turned to the guards.

"No eating anything in here, not the snarks, not the headcrabs, not the Xen tubeworms, not the butterflies, nothing."

"Damnit... come on... I've never had headcrab before..."

"No."

"Ok, ok!"

The guards busied themselves with photographing the vortigaunt, antlion and alien grunt anatomy charts, and postulating at any weak spots on their bodies.

The scientist went, "Oh yes! Welcome gentlemen, I was expecting you. I am Professor Kleiner, related to the Great Issac Kleiner. How are you?"

"Oh, we're fine. Put it down please."

A guard who was trying to eat a snark put it back in its nest.

Another guard was eyeing the headcrab in the aquarium hungrily.

Crap, thought Cordell, the guards were getting hungry.

"Oh, we're fine. Put it down please."

A guard who was trying to eat a snark put it back in its nest.

Another guard was eyeing the headcrab in the aquarium hungrily.

Crap, thought Cordell, the guards were getting hungry.

Kleiner said, noticing the guard, "Please get your man away from Hedy, I spent a great deal of time raising her......and I don't want her getting eaten."

"You heard the man. Stop eyeing the headcrab. We'll eat later..."

Cordell turned back Professor Kleiner.

"Interesting wildlife in Upper Xen, they're dissecting headcrabs right now I suppose."

"You heard the man. Stop eyeing the headcrab. We'll eat later..."

Cordell turned back Professor Kleiner.

"Interesting wildlife in Upper Xen, they're dissecting headcrabs right now I suppose."

Kleiner beamed, "Yes, they are! Such wonderful creatures, Headcrabs.....deadly, yet complex and fascinating."

He then went to a student dissecting a Crab. "Here, you can see that the Crab has a developed brain, poison sacs, greater tactile and olfactory nerves, and even a poorly developed but existent visual sense, granted, we think it senses heat and uses infrared."

He pointed to a recessed tube like appendage. "Here is the Infestation Tube....this is the element that the Crab insrts into the Human to begin infestation. It has natural juices and bacterium on it that speed up the growth of the Headcrab's nervous system and allow it to take control of a host's body, and quickly too. These fluids, bacterium and the body's natural digestive juices also work to create the famous gaping chest cavity on a Headcrab Zombie, that serves as a sort of new mouth for the Crab, the Zombie simply shoving food into the cavity and the juices in the tube break it down and deliver the nourishment to the Crab, and its host in an unknown process, possibly osmosis."

"Infrared we understand perfectly. Lizards, and hybrids even up to only 1/8th lizard can use infrared emissions to create images."

"I can demonstrate if you wish to see."

Cordell pulled out a pair of infrared goggles.

"Identify which of your students has poor cardiovascular health with these. Don't tell anyone until the guards identify that person."

"Infrared we understand perfectly. Lizards, and hybrids even up to only 1/8th lizard can use infrared emissions to create images."

Kleiner said, "Fascinating.......I have heard much of the Pwnage lizardmen, but I have not had an opportunity to meet one in person before."

He then turned to the Guards. "Until now, of course."

He then put on the goggles, and began scanning, IDing a kid in the fifth row with a "Led Zepplin" shirt.

Cordell spoke to the guards.

"One of these kids has severe cardiovascular problems. Point out one."

Each of the guards pointed at a different person.

"Which one of them has the worst problems?"

The guards pointed at the kid in the Led Zepplin shirt. One of the guards spoke: "The kid in the Led Zepplin shirt has 80%+ blockages in 3 of his coronary arteries, he's at a risk for a rather serious heart attack."

Cordell spoke to the guards.

"One of these kids has severe cardiovascular problems. Point out one."

Each of the guards pointed at a different person.

"Which one of them has the worst problems?"

The guards pointed at the kid in the Led Zepplin shirt. One of the guards spoke: "The kid in the Led Zepplin shirt has 80%+ blockages in 3 of his coronary arteries, he's at a risk for a rather serious heart attack."

Kleiner said, "Fascinating! Such amazing abilities usually only belong to our Vortiguant student, Xonxt Do'tal."

One of the guards asked: "How much energy can one Vortigaunt discharge in a lightning bolt? Oh, and get the kid in the Led Zepplin t-shirt to the hospital, right now, although he doesn't know it right now, one of his arteries has become totally blocked."

One of the guards asked: "How much energy can one Vortigaunt discharge in a lightning bolt? Oh, and get the kid in the Led Zepplin t-shirt to the hospital, right now, although he doesn't know it right now, one of his arteries has become totally blocked."

Kleiner then said, "The average Vortiguant puts out about 15 Kilowatts of electricity per bolt."

He then noticed the kid was sweating profusely, and acting strangely, like he was about to have a heart attack.

Kleiner then said, "Get the nurse, and somebody help him!"

The kids then said, "Holy shit!" and began to help him, one kid aided the nurse, who soon came to the room, in getting him to the hospital.

The Guard, unfazed said, "15 kilowatts, interesting. Mind if we wire your student up to one of these?"

The guard detached a compulsator from a railgun.

The Guard, unfazed said, "15 kilowatts, interesting. Mind if we wire your student up to one of these?"

The guard detached a compulsator from a railgun.

Kleiner said, "Sure. Xonxt?!"

Xonxt said, "Yes, Teacher?"

Kleiner said, "Xonxt, this boy may need our aid, and we were wondering if you ould use your electric powers on him."

Xonxt said, "Ummm......well, okay, but I'll have to do it on low power, I might get sued."

He then saw the compulsator, and said, "Well, if you want me to use that, okay, but still, I am warning you, this might be a bit risky."

The guard said "Hmm... it takes around 50kw over 1/100th of a second to fire a 1000 gram slug at 5km second (the compulsator's still wired to the railgun). Try low power then. I suspect that even a gum wrapper moving a 5km a second will kill half the people in the classroom at this range."

The guard said "Hmm... it takes around 50kw over 1/100th of a second to fire a 1000 gram slug at 5km second (the compulsator's still wired to the railgun). Try low power then. I suspect that even a gum wrapper moving a 5km a second will kill half the people in the classroom at this range."

As Xonxt began charging the compulsator at the lowest energy he could muster, one of the gangsta kids in the room, a rare sight in UX, said, "Lemme try that gum thing!"

He threw a gum wrapper into the compulsator to the tune of a "NO!!!!" from Kleiner.

The gum wrapper bounced off the compulsator into the railgun and fell between the rails, hovering slightly between the rails for an infintesimally small period of time before firing.

It wasn't pretty.

The gangsta kid was hit in the chest by a gum wrapper moving at 5km a second.

It looked like he was hit in the chest at point blank by a double barreled sawed off 10 gauge magnum shotgun firing 000 buck. The gum wrapper then exited the kid's body and lodged 2 inches into the nearest wall.

Cordell tried not to giggle.

The gum wrapper bounced off the compulsator into the railgun and fell between the rails, hovering slightly between the rails for an infintesimally small period of time before firing.

It wasn't pretty.

The gangsta kid was hit in the chest by a gum wrapper moving at 5km a second.

It looked like he was hit in the chest at point blank by a double barreled sawed off 10 gauge magnum shotgun firing 000 buck. The gum wrapper then exited the kid's body and lodged 2 inches into the nearest wall.

Cordell tried not to giggle.

Kleiner said, "At least the Forensics class will have something to look at....."

Xonxt was less calm....going: "HOLY SHIT!"

"Don't worry kid, you didn't throw the gum wrapper into the railgun. Besides, the electrical reading wasn't too bad."

Cordell looked at the dead gangsta's body.

"I'm gonna visit the Forensics class."

He picked up 2 pieces of the kid's corpse and pulled the gum wrapper out of the wall and walked there.

"Don't worry kid, you didn't throw the gum wrapper into the railgun. Besides, the electrical reading wasn't too bad."

Cordell looked at the dead gangsta's body.

"I'm gonna visit the Forensics class."

He picked up 2 pieces of the kid's corpse and pulled the gum wrapper out of the wall and walked there.

Meanwhile, the Forensics class was going over the difference between the male and female bone structures. The teacher, a tall, eccentic guy, said, "Okay class, now, remember, what do male skulls have?"

A student raised his hand and went: "The male has a protruding Occipital Condoyle at the back of the skull, a more sloped forehead, a more defined browline, round eye sockets, and a jaw at a right angle."

The teacher said, "Good.....now what does the female skull have?"

Soon, they didn't see the Pwnage agent walking in with a railgun......

OOC: Funfact for the day: All of that medical stuff is true.

Cordell walked in.

"Hey kids, how would you like to analyze a real corpse?"

Cordell walked in.

"Hey kids, how would you like to analyze a real corpse?"

The kids went, "Oohh......"

The teacher then went, "Well, I don't see why not, extra credit for everybody."

He then asked Cordell. "Who are you anyway, and where is this body?"

Cordell tossed the corpse onto a dissection table and stuck the gum wrapper under it's tounge.

"I'm from the room down the hall. Some idiot did.... something to himself."

To the teacher he whispered "The idiot threw a gum wrapper into a live railgun. Have your students discover that."

*bump*

Cordell tossed the corpse onto a dissection table and stuck the gum wrapper under it's tounge.

"I'm from the room down the hall. Some idiot did.... something to himself."

To the teacher he whispered "The idiot threw a gum wrapper into a live railgun. Have your students discover that."

The teacher said, "Okay...."

He then said, "Okay, put on the aprons, get some goggles, and wash your hands! I want several groups, get the autopsy kits."

The kids rushed about, picking things up, getting ready to examine the body.

Cordell picked up the gum wrapper.

"Alright, a gum wrapper was found at the scene, lodged 2 inches into the wall, if you want to see it, there's a good sized hole in Professor Kleiner's room where it hit."

Cordell picked up the gum wrapper.

"Alright, a gum wrapper was found at the scene, lodged 2 inches into the wall, if you want to see it, there's a good sized hole in Professor Kleiner's room where it hit."

The kids nodded, and went back to examining the body and the room with the railgun slug.

The Principal soon led the party to another part of the school.

Here, a massive gymnasium with a parquet floor and basketball hoops set up was host to a group of kids running around the edges of it, the gym teacher, a man who looked like R. Lee Ermey, was running after them, yelling, "Keep going! My grandmother could run faster than you maggots.......there's only two more laps, you can do it!"

One said, "Sir, we've run 12 laps already!"

He then pointed to a tired largish kid sipping from the water fountain. "Are you going to quit like him and lose your participation grade?! If not, then keep going!"

The kids said, "We'll do it, sir yes sir!"

The gym teacher said, "That's more like, kids! NOW KEEP RUNNING!"

The kids continued to run accross the edges of the gym, and the teacher soon ran to meet the Principal. He then saw Cordell and said, "Good Day, so this is the guy they said be'd showing up. Welcome, I am Mr. MacDonald, I run the PhysEd Department here."

"You sure love to make them run. What's the average mile time for a kid around here?"

"You sure love to make them run. What's the average mile time for a kid around here?"

MacDonald smiled. "Son, running is a good sport, it works the legs, gets more muscles on 'em, each man can do 3-5 on average. Next, we're gonna do basketball, full-court."

He then called for the students to assemble.

"Alrighty! Kids, join up into two teams, get a basketball, we're gonna have some fun!"

The kids did so, frantically picking out teammates, and plotting strategies for victory.

A basketball bounced near a guard, the guard picked the ball up between 2 fingers and placed the ball in the basket.

"I think that counts as a dunk." said the guard.

A basketball bounced near a guard, the guard picked the ball up between 2 fingers and placed the ball in the basket.

"I think that counts as a dunk." said the guard.

MacDonald said, "Sounds like a challenge.......how's about my kids versus you. You seem willing to show off your skills, so let's jam."

The students said, "Okay......" not exactly enthusiastic, but still, willing to follow along, as he was a hard man that you did not want to say no to.

The guard grinned, although this wasn't apparent under armor.

"Alrighty then. We jump for the ball."

MacDonald had the kids and the Guard line up, and get ready in the center of the room. He then stepped back, throwing the ball into the middle.

The kids and the guard rushed for the ball, and one kid got it first, running to the basket on the lizard's side.

The kid tried a lay up. The guard snatched the ball out of the kid's hands and threw all the way across the court, where it hit the backboard and went in.

"3-0, me."

The kid tried a lay up. The guard snatched the ball out of the kid's hands and threw all the way across the court, where it hit the backboard and went in.

"3-0, me."

The kids then lined up for another round, the kid who had the ball knocked out of his hand going, "It's not over yet, man."

"Well true."

After several more humiliations, Cordell handed his jacket to a guard.

"Quit humiliating the kids. Play someone that can actually prevent the ball from getting into the basket."

"Well true."

After several more humiliations, Cordell handed his jacket to a guard.

"Quit humiliating the kids. Play someone that can actually prevent the ball from getting into the basket."

The kids went, "So wait, we can stop now?"

MacDonald then said, "Kids, hit the showers!"

The kids duly did so, running to their respective locker rooms.

"Watch this."

The lizardman aimed to throw the ball in again.

For a human, Cordell was fast.
REALLY fast.

He jumped and snatched the ball away an inch out of the Lizardman's hand.

Dribbling it out of the reach of the Guard's arms he shot a basket and made it in.

"3-2".

One of the kids simply clapped his hands, and cheered.

The Secretaries simply looked at each other, and said, "Wow."

MacDonald, meanwhile, said "Holy Crap, that was good......I like you guys, I was right to endorse this military ed program."

He then turned to Cordell and said, "Hey, insult some hippies for me when you go on tour, especially that f**k Letourneau, will ya? He works in the Art Department."

Cordell tossed the ball into the basket offhandedly.

"Ok, err... fine."

"Now to the Art Department..."

The Secretaries led him to the Art Department, where sure enough, a skinny teacher that looked like the hippie from Beavis and Butthead said, "Hello, sirs!"

He then moved ot he side and let them in, revealing a calm studio, with Mozart playing on a stereo, a vintage record player at that. Kids were working with charcoal, making prints.

"Hello. I see you have taste. Mozart is sure as hell better than the mainstream R&B crap on the radio these days. Ah... the art program. Anyway, someone from the other class, MacDonald or something, wanted me to call you a hippie, then proceed to insult you."

"Hello. I see you have taste. Mozart is sure as hell better than the mainstream R&B crap on the radio these days. Ah... the art program. Anyway, someone from the other class, MacDonald or something, wanted me to call you a hippie, then proceed to insult you."

Letourneau rolled his eyes and said, "Oh yeah, that guy, he's such a showboat. He says that to everybody, he has had it in for me since I fed him soy burgers."

At the word "soy", the guards recoiled involuntarily.

One of the guards started shouting.

"No wonder he called you a hippie! Vegetarianism is for the weak! The strong must dominate the lower animal classes, kill or be killed!" With this the guards cheered.

Cordell apologized: "I'm sorry, errr... Lizardmen are carnivorous creatures..."

Letourneau siad, "Now that is not true, vegetarianism is quite healthy, I am opposed to veganism, but I do shun meat.....you know meat increases your risk of cancer?"

Cordell shrugged.

"Cancer rates are really low among Lizardmen. I think most of the cancer isn't caused by meat, it's caused by the chemicals used when they process meat, like the antibiotics and hormones."

"Anyway, I think that your class may be interested in an alternative project I have in mind, got some spray paint?"

Cordell shrugged.

"Cancer rates are really low among Lizardmen. I think most of the cancer isn't caused by meat, it's caused by the chemicals used when they process meat, like the antibiotics and hormones."

"Anyway, I think that your class may be interested in an alternative project I have in mind, got some spray paint?"

Letourneau said, "Well, that would be in the metal shop, we mainly use liquid paints here, lead-free and ecologically safe. Then again, so are the paints in the metal shop, they are safe for the environment."

He then said, "I can go get some if you wish."

"Get some, as well as car paint finish. I have an idea involving your marine gym instructor."

Letourneau said, "Well, personally, I beleive in the idea of 'live and let live,' but inevitably, something must be done."

He ran down to the Metal Shop, and five minutes later, he had the needed paints and the finish. He got one particularly ugly paint, a nasty day-glo orange, and a really dull flat black.

"Not exactly what I was thinking. Follow me."

Cordell walked down to the metal shop, grabbed all the paints including the bright and festive colors.

"We're going to tiedye the gym teacher's car."

Before leaving the metal shop, he snatched a bottle of gorilla glue as well.

"Not exactly what I was thinking. Follow me."

Cordell walked down to the metal shop, grabbed all the paints including the bright and festive colors.

"We're going to tiedye the gym teacher's car."

Before leaving the metal shop, he snatched a bottle of gorilla glue as well.

Letourneau said, "Meh, I rarely do revenge ploys, unless they really tick me off."

The party then went to the the gym teacher's car. Letourneau brought along his art class, he wanted to let the kids know how to paint a car.

Letourneau then prepped the paints and said, "Okay. When you're ready."

"Now kids, your art teacher's going to show you how to tiedye paint a car, and then apply the finish so it looks brand new. Your gym teacher has donated his Hummer H1 with camoflague paint job over there."

"I'll be inside doing something... I just have a question, got sticker paper?"

"Now kids, your art teacher's going to show you how to tiedye paint a car, and then apply the finish so it looks brand new. Your gym teacher has donated his Hummer H1 with camoflague paint job over there."

"I'll be inside doing something... I just have a question, got sticker paper?"

Letourneau said, "Check with the Graphic Arts people, there'll be a man named Sapolsky. He'll get you some. He's got too much anyway, last guy we hired ordered too much paper."

Letourneau then said, "Now kids, you have to visualize the work...what do you want out of this, what kind of pattern do you envision? Think about it, and then, begin painting."

He then stopped, and then proceeded to hand each kid a spray can. "Work in tandem, share the cans, and trey to make soemthing tasteful. Don't make the coat too thick."

The kids eagerly went to work and in minutes, most of MacDonald's car was a nice tye-dye pattern.

The kids soon worked to finish the rest, and then, Letourneau applied the finish, saying, "Now, we apply the finish, so the paint stays."

Cordell walked up to Sapolsky's office.

"Yea, I need some sticker paper, and mind if I use your graphics design software for a sec?"

Cordell walked up to Sapolsky's office.

"Yea, I need some sticker paper, and mind if I use your graphics design software for a sec?"

Sapolsky said, "Yeah, sure. I'm on my prep period, so you're in the clear. We use good Windows machines, guaranteed rock solid, you'll have no problems."

He handed him a big bundle of sticker paper, and directed him to a line of computers.

"I'll need just a few... hold on."

Cordell printed a few "Honk if you're a homo" bumper stickers, walked outside and glued them randomly over the tie dyed Hummer.

"Now we observe the gym teacher's reaction."

"I'll need just a few... hold on."

Cordell printed a few "Honk if you're a homo" bumper stickers, walked outside and glued them randomly over the tie dyed Hummer.

"Now we observe the gym teacher's reaction."

MacDonald was walking outside, he was going out to lunch.

As he saw his Hummer, he gasped in horror. His manly Hummer now was painted in hippieish tye-dye colors, his bastion of manhood now reduced to a joke. Bumper stickers bearing the words "Honk if you're a homo" were emblazoned everywhere, and the fact that every sixth driver or so was honking, and every tenth was throwing garbage at him wasn't helping his simmering anger.

He began cursing and kicking his car, frantically trying to scrape off the offending stickers with a paint scraper (with no success).

He saw the art class, and he yelled, "Damn you, Letourneau!"

Letourneay fired back, "At least I have a girlfriend!"

MacDonald resisted the urge to run up and strangle the art teacher. The temerity! How dare he!

He simply resorted to kicking his car in frustration, and simply sulking.

Cordell turned to Nakamura

"Next up?"

Cordell turned to Nakamura

"Next up?"

Nakamura said, "The math department would be a good stop."

He led the party to a room with a blackboard, a very pretty Japanese lady as a teacher, and rows of students in desks, working furiously on algebra.

"Remeber.....there will be a test on slope, so remeber y=mx+b, and standard form!"

The kids groaned, but a quick quip: "Ah come on yourself, this is for your future."

She then turned and saw Cordell. "Especially if you join the Army......say, aren't you that guy from the Middle School who nabbed that perv?"

"Perv? What do you mean? Sure he was drug dealer but he didn't seem like a pervert to me."

One of the guards grinned

"What, did he grope you or something? I mean, you are very good looking, I for one would like to grope you mys-ARGH!"

Cordell released the pressure point.

"Sorry."

"Perv? What do you mean? Sure he was drug dealer but he didn't seem like a pervert to me."

One of the guards grinned

"What, did he grope you or something? I mean, you are very good looking, I for one would like to grope you mys-ARGH!"

Cordell released the pressure point.

"Sorry."

She said, "I mean, NP said soembody found kiddie porn in his glove compartment."

She then said, "Anyway, welcome to my Algebra I class, I teach basic algebra concepts, and some more. Then, there's algebra II, they do things like the quadratic equation."

"Alrighty.... let's try something more advanced for your next period, i'll pay $100 to anyone that can solve this one."

Cordell drew an advanced diagram (the schematics to Jackson City's Defense systems) on the board.

Then he wrote down railgun slug ballistic data on the board.

"The first student to hit a 6 foot tall soldier standing on the walls right between the eyes wins the money."

"Alrighty.... let's try something more advanced for your next period, i'll pay $100 to anyone that can solve this one."

Cordell drew an advanced diagram (the schematics to Jackson City's Defense systems) on the board.

Then he wrote down railgun slug ballistic data on the board.

"The first student to hit a 6 foot tall soldier standing on the walls right between the eyes wins the money."

The teacher then agreed.

Next period, she intorduced the problem, and added another bonus: extra credit, tons of it.

The students were reinvigorated, they soon began fumbling about with their books and calculators, working on the problem and furiously using up paper.

ooc: Assume this is the last period of the day, I want to see the extracurricular activities.

Cordell turned to the teacher.

"Hmm... they seem to be good. Who do you think will solve this problem the first?"

She pointed to a kid who looked more like a biker than a mild mannered student.

"That's Mikey. The funny thing is, he is the best in the class. He'll get this, I know it."

Cordell made a second offer: "Anyone that hits Stalingrad estate and kills the Czar and his wife in his bedroom" Cordell drew a second diagram, gets another $100.

Two of the kids said, "What? Sir, The Fabuses are God's gift to man, shut up!"

Cordell chuckled

"The Fabuses are God's gift to man, correct, although the God you are referring to is known for having a wacky sense of humor."

The two Fabusites said, "Whatever man, I don't listen to atheists. So what if God has a sense of humor? It is a lot better than yours."

The teacher rolled her eyes, and meanwhile, Mikey said, "Hey teach, I've your answer!"

He walked up and handed it to the teacher, who looked it over and handed it to Cordell.

"How's it look?"

"Aw shit this is.... this is..."

Cordell's jaw dropped. The calculations were pure genius. Not only would the railgun shell hit the soldier between the eyes, the approximate angle of drop would allow it to continue on and blow up the Kahtan embassy as it penetrated.

Cordell forked over the $100 from his wallet immediately.

"Aw shit this is.... this is..."

Cordell's jaw dropped. The calculations were pure genius. Not only would the railgun shell hit the soldier between the eyes, the approximate angle of drop would allow it to continue on and blow up the Kahtan embassy as it penetrated.

Cordell forked over the $100 from his wallet immediately.

Mikey picked up the $100 and said, "Thanks, sir."

He then made an angry glare at the rest of the class, and they got the message. He then sat down and pocketed the cash.

Cordell walked up to Mikey after class

"Say kid, want a job? The MassPwnage mercenary corps is always looking for a few good fire control technicians."

Mikey said, "Kickass...I was thinking about working in my Dad's motorbike shop."

Cordell left a MassPwnage business card.

"Call this number when you're 18 and want to sign up."

Mikey then said, "Thanks, man. You rock."

He then walked out of the room, it was the end of last period.

The Secretaries then said, "Lets see the guys play Baseball, shall we?"

"Ok... baseball, isn't it that sport where you try to ehmm... err.... crap... I forgot what it was."

Nakamura said, "It's where you hit a ball with a bat, and run around a diamond shaped field. I understand why people think it sucks, but hey, it requires a lot of thought too."

He led them to the back field. There, the School team, the Jackrabbits, was going through manuevers, pitching, and hitting the ball, going over strategies for later.

"Wait, I thought it involved using some sort of club to break someone's spine, knees or skull, it's a ball game? Weird."

Cordell pulled out a Palm Pilot and began to play a video.

2 Skorpion raiders were beating a Cambodian civilian to death in the video, each Raider was given 3 "strikes".

"We all thought that's how it worked until just 5 minutes ago."

Nakamura shook his head and said, "Wow, you guys have a 'unique' sense of humor, don't ya?"

Takeda Motoko, the Defense Secretary, simply said, "Nevermind the Education Secretary's comment.......it's not like NP doesn't do that. Personally, I've seen it in action versus some captured RALMers, it works wonders. That, and that song 'Dragostea din tei' by that Romanian band. Drives 'em crazy."

"Oh captured RALMers... you don't want to know what we do to them.... Unless you want to see the video of course, most of which are posted on violence porn websites."

Motoko said, a bit taken aback: "Okay......wow, you guys really do have a unique outlook on the world, huh?"

"Oh of course we do, and I'm betting at least one of the players on that field gets off on us torturing RALMers too. Anyway, let's watch the game."

"Oh of course we do, and I'm betting at least one of the players on that field gets off on us torturing RALMers too. Anyway, let's watch the game."

The Secretary of Education nodded and said, "Sure."

He then led them to the bleachers, and sat down. There, they watched the kids begin another practice round. The Coach was pitcher, and he threw off to a batter, who hit the ball, ran like the dickens, and safely made it to second base.

"Not bad..."

Cordell nodded.

"Some nice hand eye coordination... well built leg and shoulder muscles, not a bad sport, except the guy in left field can literally sleep, as he's doing right now."

Sure enough, Cordell was right, the guy in left field was not dozing off, but he was certainly distracted by a very pleasant daydream.

The Coach said, "Hey! Xibei! Get yer head out of the clouds, we've gotta shape up to fight the Rangers."

The chastised kid said, "Yes, sir." He then shook his head and got back into position.

That was good, because he caught a ball that was smacked hard into left field by a guy who apparently had a very bad day, running down the diamond like the Road Runner chased by the Coyote.

After watching for a while, Cordell decided that they would need to get to work on planning....

"Let's go back to the hotel and get to work" he said.

After watching for a while, Cordell decided that they would need to get to work on planning....

"Let's go back to the hotel and get to work" he said.

Nakamura said, "Meh, why not. We'll have the staff cook up some food if you want it."

They then went to their motorcade, and began driving to the Peninsula Hotel.

Meanwhile, on the road....

"Hmm.... who are these people with the signs, and the expletives?"

The protestors up ahead meanwhile, began to set up a roadblock up ahead.

"Crap."

Yup, sure enough, it was an angry gathering of protestors from the New Homeland Party, the resident opposition party. In this case, they were a group of angry mothers and fathers, probably peace advocates not happy about the fact their kids were going to get a military education at such an age.

They chanted "No More War!" and "R-O-T-C, Not where we want our kids to be!" and such, as they formed around the Range Rovers.

At that moment, one parent, a woman who looked innocent enough, pulled out a MAC-10 and fired at the Range Rovers, crying "Death to Government! Death to Lew! Power to the People!" The way she said it belied the fact she didn't take her meds, and in any case, things were made worse by the fact that she was using customized AP bullets, made using a pirated recipe on the Internet.

Good thing her aim wasn't that good, she hit one of the dummy vehicles and sprayed lead everywhere before she ran out of bullets. She frantically tried to reload, but she couldn't reach her spare.

At that moment, people were fleeing, and.....

OOC: MassPwnage, when you get back, you know what to do.

"I love welcoming committees."

Cordell ripped the door off his Range Rover with a fluid ease and drew out a 5 inch blade folding fillet knife from his jacket.

It looked something out of a martial arts movie. Cordell could move, he could move like no normal human could.

The woman with the MAC-10 stood no chance.

Her eyes widened in shock as Cordell slashed her throat to the bone with a fillet knife. Then before she fell to the ground, Cordell gutted her like a fish, splattering her entrails onto the ground.

Unbeknownst to the politicians, there was someone with a camera in the crowd....

Another MassPwnage related tape on a violence porn website.

Fuck.

The crowd scattered totally, and ran off.

The Secretaries simply watched the scene with horror, they were shielded by their bodyguards. They then sighed with relief, and smiled.

Cordell wiped the blood off his knife's blade and folded it back up.

"Ok, what do we do about the door to this Range Rover? And that guy with the camera who just ran off?"

Cordell wiped the blood off his knife's blade and folded it back up.

"Ok, what do we do about the door to this Range Rover? And that guy with the camera who just ran off?"

Nakamura said, "Meh. We'll get somebody to fix it...won't cost much, the damned government runs itself."

"The guy with the camera is anti-government, I think I just helped get your President defeated."

Nakamura said, "And how, technically, you did it, you're not a Xenizen citizen.......still, we'll concoct something, or unleash the CIA on him."

Cordell shrugged.

"Whatever, let's keep going, and hope I don't fall out of the car."

As they got in, Nakamura said, "Well, that is what the seatbelt is for."

He then motioned to the driver and said, "Let's go, take it slow for Mr. Huang, here."

The motorcade then proceeded at a quick but fitful pace.

They got to the hotel.
Now all Upper Xen has to do is describe the freakin' thing.

OOC: Easy, calm down.

IC:

The Peninsula Hotel was was quite ornate in appearance, Range Rovers and Rolls-Royces were going in and out, crewed by rich clients of the hotel. The interior of the hotel itself was opulent to the core, it had much in the way of marble tilings, butlers in tuxes wandering around, rich clients from all over the world sitting about and doing other such things.

There was a staircase in the center of the room, and after the motorcade got parked into the lot by the valets, and they went in, a butler came up to Cordell and said, "Ah yes, Mr. Huang, we have been expecting your party, please follow me........"

He motioned fore them to follow him to a pair of large doors that, when opened, led into a ballroom, and the aforementioned Manchu-Han Banquet being served up. The highlight was a roast pork, a large one too, to the pleasure of the Pwnage Guards.

Cordell couldn't even give the orders for the guards to stop before they leapt upon the banquet.

The pig was gone in a heartbeat.

"Nooooooo!!!!" lamented Cordell.

The guards, unsatisfied with the rest of the banquet, walked out of the hotel to forage around in the sewers.

"I'm gonna let them leave..."

The butler, nay, the entire staff stood in shock. They had seen their share of unusual guests in their lifetimes, but this took the cake......

The butler simply shook his head, and led the rest of the party to their assigned seats.

The food was then served, it was a sumptious multi-course extravaganza, filled with all kinds of meats and vegetables. As for the pig, it was quickly replaced with another reserve, and the dinner went on uninterrupted.

In the sewers of Hong Kong:

A lone Garg stomped around in the sewers looking for food. It sniffed around in the darkness.

A pack of antlions had brought down a Gonarch and were feasting on it, when the Garg drove them off.

Meanwhile, the lizards approached silently, occasionally crushing shockroaches and tubeworms beneath their huge talons. They stripped off their armor and left in the corner, so that they would be faster. And besides, hunting was not done with armor on.

They approached the Garg, then leapt onto it. Their combined masses and incredible strength pulling the Garg to the ground.

The Garg immediately responded by hurling off 2 of his assailants and breaking free. It readied its electric attack but, was knocked off course by one of the bigger guards. Then 3 more of the guards tackled the Garg again, slicing into it with their razor sharp claws and ripping off huge chunks of its flesh in their jaws.

The Garg, weakened by blood loss, roared out one last time before a guard killed it by stabbing his tail barb through the its forehead.

The guards ate their fill, then they left the rest for the antlions, snarks, vortigaunt hobos, headcrabs, thornets, and everything else that lived down in the Hong Kong sewers.

In the sewers of Hong Kong:

A lone Garg stomped around in the sewers looking for food. It sniffed around in the darkness.

A pack of antlions had brought down a Gonarch and were feasting on it, when the Garg drove them off.

Meanwhile, the lizards approached silently, occasionally crushing shockroaches and tubeworms beneath their huge talons. They stripped off their armor and left in the corner, so that they would be faster. And besides, hunting was not done with armor on.

They approached the Garg, then leapt onto it. Their combined masses and incredible strength pulling the Garg to the ground.

The Garg immediately responded by hurling off 2 of his assailants and breaking free. It readied its electric attack but, was knocked off course by one of the bigger guards. Then 3 more of the guards tackled the Garg again, slicing into it with their razor sharp claws and ripping off huge chunks of its flesh in their jaws.

The Garg, weakened by blood loss, roared out one last time before a guard killed it by stabbing his tail barb through the its forehead.

The guards ate their fill, then they left the rest for the antlions, snarks, vortigaunt hobos, headcrabs, thornets, and everything else that lived down in the Hong Kong sewers.

A sewer matenance worker was going on his beat, setting things on fire, fixing pipes, when he heard a very distinct fighting sound.

He knew better than to intervene, last time he did, he lost a hand that barely got reattached. Still, curiosity got the better of him, and he walked close to the source of the noise.

Raising his Maglite, he saw two lizardlike beings tearing away at every single xenofaunic lifeform they could get their hands on. They were eating well tonight, and he recoiled in fear at the sight.

He simply decided to back off, this was way too dangerous. He sidled away and began going back to work.

Going back to their armor, the guards (all 6 are down there) bumped into the retreating sewer worker. The guards were soaked in yellow Xenofauna blood, their fangs were still dripping with venom and their combat knife sized claws were still out. They looked scary.

One of the guards greeted the worker.

"Hello there. Nice night, isn't it?"

Going back to their armor, the guards (all 6 are down there) bumped into the retreating sewer worker. The guards were soaked in yellow Xenofauna blood, their fangs were still dripping with venom and their combat knife sized claws were still out. They looked scary.

One of the guards greeted the worker.

"Hello there. Nice night, isn't it?"

The Worker began offering money to them. "Here, take whatever you want, don't kill me!"

He threw at least 50 Xenthalers at them and ran away like a little girl.

Later....
The guards walked back in, dirty, tired and full.

Cordell glanced away from his dinner.

"Have a nice night?"

"Oh. Hell. Yea."

The Xenizen staff looked at the Guards with expressions that could only be summed up as "WTF?"

They then shook their heads, they were trained to handle all sorts of odd customer service situations. They then went about their normal business, serving food, cleaning up.

Nakamura turned to Cordell and said, "Hmm......I see your men decided to go hunting....by the scent of it, they did it in the sewers around Quarry Bay as well, quite a nasty, dreary area of town."

One of the guards spoke:

"I suspect so. I found a lot of hobos down there. This Alien Grunt drug dealer tried to attack us. Thornet?"

The guard offered up a handful of dead Thornets to Nakamura, Cordell and Motoko.

Nakamura said, "Uh....no thanks."

Motoko said, "Me neither."

"Your loss, these are GOOD." The guard popped another Thornet in his mouth.

Another guard spoke.

"Y' know, if you issued free lunch passes to groups of Pwnage tourists, your sewers would be cleaned out within a week."

Nakamura said, "Hmm....it would enable us to spend less money on cleaning up Quarry Bay. I'll keep that in mind."

After dinner was finished.

"Alrighty.. oh hell yea that was good meal." Cordell sighed in relaxation.

"Anyway, let's get started with business."

Nakamura said, "Soo....here is our existing ROTC concept."

He slid a manila envelope to him, and then said, "What changes and or additions do you propose to add? We did plan for one period a day of instruction, but if you wish, you may do more extensive changes, we are all ears."

Cordell read over it.

One period a day wouldn't do.

"Alright, my suggestion? Purely military schools, for those that are gifted, and regular schooling for those who are not."

"It should start at early as possible too, preferrably from birth."

Nakamura said, "Sure, we can do that......it would not be that expensive, considering we shell out a lot for our budget."

Motoko said, "Yes....this seems like a good plan, purely military schools seem okay for the gifted.....what about teaching those who can't make it basic skills, like drill and ceremonies and how to strip a rifle, and all that good stuff? I'd like them to be able to have some competence when the bright ones lead them."

"Hmm... mandatory arms training. And screw the pacifists. If they object, shoot them or something. Also, I would suggest forcibly impressing the following species into the program."

Cordell rattled off a list:

*Alien Grunts
*Shock Troopers
*Pit Drones
*Alien Overlords
*Vortigaunts (maybe)

"Hmm... mandatory arms training. And screw the pacifists. If they object, shoot them or something. Also, I would suggest forcibly impressing the following species into the program."

Cordell rattled off a list:

*Alien Grunts
*Shock Troopers
*Pit Drones
*Alien Overlords
*Vortigaunts (maybe)

Nakamura said, "Last time we tried to force Vortiguants to do anything, that was in the 1800's, they revolted....they are notorious for embracing personal liberty to the extreme. You force them in, they'll sue.....and they know how to sue. As for the others, they already have some element of military tradition in their cultures, but I think that extra encouragement, such as college money, will get them join."

"Probably. Meh, screw the Vortigaunts, they're not that good for the military anyways. Hmm... now onto curriculum.... Let's see what you have."

"Probably. Meh, screw the Vortigaunts, they're not that good for the military anyways. Hmm... now onto curriculum.... Let's see what you have."

Nakamura said, "It's in the manila envelope, basiclally, we have standard arms training, squad training, officer training, navigational training using math and geography, and all that good stuff."

"What about field improvisation, urban combat, unusual terrain combat, psychological conditioning, psychological warfare, technical skills, engineering and all that other good stuff? This curriculum seems to be inadequate in many areas."

"What about field improvisation, urban combat, unusual terrain combat, psychological conditioning, psychological warfare, technical skills, engineering and all that other good stuff? This curriculum seems to be inadequate in many areas."

Nakamura said, "Hm.....I'll make a note of that. We will add those items you suggested, probably in the exclusive schools we will set up. Some of these things will be taught in regular schools, like urban combat and field improv, plus engineering, and all the other basic-level skills you mentioned."

"Hmm... I'm just a bit concerned about psychological training, which I feel is necessary. New soldiers are generally paralyzed in battle when they first see some poor fool's guts splattered across the ground. Psychological training prevents that, and also, they tend to be more loyal than a non-psychologically indoctrinated soldier."

Nakamura then said: "Well, I'm obviously cool with that....we will obviously need psycholgical training for our regular grunts and officers. That is an essential...I will keep that."

"Good. Now, hmmmm... also, a bit of espionage training would be good. Besides, spies are hard to come by as it is."

Motoko milled the idea over, and said, "I think that might be good too...the CIA would like it, I'd tell you that much. Kathy Leang is always looking for spies, she's our director. I'd like it, if anything, it might bolster Military Intellegence, or what Kathy didn't take from it to fatten her own organization of pretty-boy assasins...."

She then muttered to herself "...bitch."

"We use an integrated approach in MassPwnage... and would you believe that at this moment, someone is trying to kill you?"

Motoko said, "Hell, I wouldn't be surprised....the CIA/NP Combine is considered to be the Fourth Branch, the Zhang-Sakura Consortium the Fifth."

Meanwhile, Kathy Leang, sure enough, was sitting across from them disguised as a matenance worker. She was looking at them, and said, "Bitch......nobody badmouths Kathy and gets away with it......I'll fix you like I fixed that reporter from the South China Daily."

She then got an evil smile as she pulled out her cell phone and called a plant in the kitchen, who was going to serve up another part of the banquet (in RL, the Manchu-Han Banquet takes at LEAST 10 Courses, if not more) to say: "Give 'em something they won't forget."

The contact, disguised as a chef in the kitchen, said, "Yes'm."

He slipped a tracking bug into the next part of the course, and primed it for Kathy's GPS scanner. She had a PPK, common to UX, but that wasn't what she was going to use. She planned to find Motoko's car, and rig it full of C4. The result was obvious...

The next part of the course was served up to the guests at the table, and Motoko graciously ate the part timed with the bug inside.

Kathy's scanner lit up, and soon, she smiled and said, "Yes....." before walking off.

Cordell was watching the maintenance worker intently. First question: What the hell was a maintenance worker doing eating in this plush hotel? Second Question: In uniform? Third Question: And why does that maintenance worker have Kathy Leang's face? Fourth Question: What's with the GPS scanner?
Fifth Question: Who's on the other end of the cell phone?

Cordell got up, sat next to Kathy, pulled his L21 10mm pistol out of his jacket and stuck it under her chin roughly, pushing her head backwards.

"Now now, what are we doing here?"

Cordell picked up the GPS with his free hand. The coordinates were centered around Motoko.

"And what's this?"

Cordell was watching the maintenance worker intently. First question: What the hell was a maintenance worker doing eating in this plush hotel? Second Question: In uniform? Third Question: And why does that maintenance worker have Kathy Leang's face? Fourth Question: What's with the GPS scanner?
Fifth Question: Who's on the other end of the cell phone?

Cordell got up, sat next to Kathy, pulled his L21 10mm pistol out of his jacket and stuck it under her chin roughly, pushing her head backwards.

"Now now, what are we doing here?"

Cordell picked up the GPS with his free hand. The coordinates were centered around Motoko.

"And what's this?"

In response, Kathy whipped out a King Cobra and put it up to Cordell's chest.

She smiled, and said in a smarmy voice that sounded vaguely Texan, "Well, gee......I dunno. Maybe she likes me, and I'm a stalker. Or maybe, I don't wanna talk."

She then stopped and smiled.

She then said, "Maybe I was just leaving.....eh?"

The guards bolted up and whipped out their weapons.

4 BR-5 18x121mm assault rifles, 1 RCR-41 Beta 25mm anti-material rifle. The railgunner however, saw something different.

"Shit... There's more... This place is crawling with Xenizen CIA."

The guards bolted up and whipped out their weapons.

4 BR-5 18x121mm assault rifles, 1 RCR-41 Beta 25mm anti-material rifle. The railgunner however, saw something different.

"Shit... There's more... This place is crawling with Xenizen CIA."

Motoko said, "WTF is going on, man?"

The Secretaries' Guards soon pulled out their own O'Dwyer Pistols, MAC-10's, and M4's, and began to go on guard for the enemy.

Kathy said, "Well, well well........this is a most beautiful turn of events. I'm surrounded by gunners, you are surrounded by gunners, we're all equal."

Indeed, she was right. About 200 CIA agents, half were Alien Grunts, others assasins armed with OICW rifles, LAW rockets, Thornets, and wnough WP and Hi-Ex grenades to blow North Korea to oblivion surrounded the party. A garg even smashed through one of the walls, and wailed before one of the CIA men told him to stop.

150 of the team stormed the ballroom, dressed as RALMers, the other 50 ran into the rafters armed with the newly purchased .700cal MassPwnage AntiLifeform Rifles and aimed downward.

Laser sights, cocking noises and a general cacophony of intimidating noises followed as the men pointed their guns inward at the Lizards and at the Secretaries.

Motoko simply said, "Where the hell did they come from?"

Kathy said, "Oh, my dear.......they were at my beck and call all this time."

Motoko then turned to Kathy and said, "You bitch! You always were the ambitious one, weren't you. I bet the President is next."

Kathy said, "Uh-Uh. No. I'll get a loyal man to replace him in the elections. I don't wanna kill him, I'm not Lady Macbeth, y'know. Besides, if anything, you never let me have any fun."

Motoko then said, "Well, I hardly see the waste of CIA resources on anime as 'fun.' I hardly see your abuse of CIA resources to ensure the singlehanded elimination of Apple Computers from UX as 'fun.' I don't see the systemic tests of Headcrab weaponry on prisoners as 'fun.'"

Kathy said, "Baby, they deserved it. If anything, I can distinctly remember that you sold pictures of yourself on the internet for 6 Xenthalers a pop."

Motoko's eyes widened, and she cried: "YOU. DIE. NOW!"

A CIA Man pointed a gun at her, and she stepped back.

She then turned to Cordell and said, "Now, Cordell, I don't think you're in any position to make orders, especially not when our xenofauna are paying a visit. Let us have the Secretary of Defense....and we won't bother your party anymore."

"Nah." Cordell grinned, and then leaned to his left, sliding on the inside of Kathy's forearm and popping the saftey on the King Cobra, before falling backwards in his chair, and shooting Kathy as he fell.

Then, Cordell shot the 2 CIA agents closest to Motoko as he kicked over the table from his position on the ground.

The Guards let loose with their huge rifles, and the railgunner blasted a row of pillars supporting the rafters loose, causing the aforementioned structure to collapse.

Meanwhile, the sniper ducked behind a large plastic tree and shot the Garg twice in the head.

"Nah." Cordell grinned, and then leaned to his left, sliding on the inside of Kathy's forearm and popping the saftey on the King Cobra, before falling backwards in his chair, and shooting Kathy as he fell.

Then, Cordell shot the 2 CIA agents closest to Motoko as he kicked over the table from his position on the ground.

The Guards let loose with their huge rifles, and the railgunner blasted a row of pillars supporting the rafters loose, causing the aforementioned structure to collapse.

Meanwhile, the sniper ducked behind a large plastic tree and shot the Garg twice in the head.

Kathy was injured, she was barely alive. She barely staggered up and picked up her King Cobra, firing several shots at Cordell, trying to say "You bastard!" but her jaw having a bullet in it, she was finding it hard to talk.

The fusillade had downed 10 CIA agents, and wounded several others. The CIA agents looked at each other reacted the only way they could: with lots of firepower.

They soon began engaging the Pwnageites using their OICW rifles and LAW's, spraying 5.56 shot and lobbing tons of grenades and rockets in the Pwnagites' general direction. They broke up into several teams of twelve, some going for the railgunner, others for the Lizards, and a few for Cordell himself.

Six CIA agents, all Alien Grunts, plus one guy who looked more like a male model-type than an agent formed a cordon around Kathy, firing rapidly and lobbing Hi-Ex and WP grenades at the Pwnage and Xenizen Guards. The Secret Servicemen threw up a table for cover and fired back, forcing the guards around Kathy to duck as they fired back in all directions. The male model guy pulled out a .454 Casull with a Scope, and began blasting away at random targets nearby.

Meanwhile, those surviving snipers began firing their Anti-Lifeform Rifles at the Lizards, shooting from the hip. They joined the Alien Grunts, who felt some competition in the room for the title of "Burliest and Meanest Creature," who were alternatively spraying Thornet shot, WP Grenades, LAW Rockets in 66mm and .700 fire at the Lizards.

Cordell ducked out of the way of Kathy's bullets and kicked over another table. From there, he shot the male model guy twice in the face, then pulled out his trusty fillet knife and threw it right into Kathy's eye.

The guards used a cover, fire and move tactic, ducking behind the pillars and plastic trees, firing a few shots and then moving again. A few 5.56mm rounds and .700 bullets were stopped by their heavy armor.

Meanwhile, the railgunner dived forward to avoid a LAW rocket, and then, pulled 2 sticky grenades (HALO plasma grenade basically) out and planted one in the lead grunt in the column and another in the middle grunt.

Then, the railgunner railgunned the 2nd to rearmost grunt and rolled for cover.

The CIA men were getting nervous. Their plot was unraveling, their leader had been killed, and two of their grunts had been atomized.

Still, they pushed on. They began to move and shoot, nevermind their casualties. They poured LAW rockets at the spot where the railgunner had ran to, and spraying it with bullets.

The remaining Alien Grunts and CIA men then went after the Pwnage forces, moving in and out of cover like they did on a wild goose chase and firing back at them with everything they had, at every opportunity.

The secret service agents were laying down a blanket of covering fire and then, some started to throw flashbangs, and a few high explosive grenades to flush out CIA agents ducking for cover to help the Pwnage guards take out any remaining pockets of resistance.

Meanwhile, the Railgunner had exited via the kitchen doors. He ran into the kitchen, through a service room, then burst into an elevator, climbing down the shaft as fast as he could.

Ah yes he thought.

The electrical room...

The agent cut all the power off and the entire hotel was thrown into pitch black.

The guards above however, could easily find the CIA agents with their infrared senses, and superior senses of smell and taste.

Ah.... perfect...

The secret service agents were laying down a blanket of covering fire and then, some started to throw flashbangs, and a few high explosive grenades to flush out CIA agents ducking for cover to help the Pwnage guards take out any remaining pockets of resistance.

Meanwhile, the Railgunner had exited via the kitchen doors. He ran into the kitchen, through a service room, then burst into an elevator, climbing down the shaft as fast as he could.

Ah yes he thought.

The electrical room...

The agent cut all the power off and the entire hotel was thrown into pitch black.

The guards above however, could easily find the CIA agents with their infrared senses, and superior senses of smell and taste.

Ah.... perfect...

The CIA agents said all at once: "F**K!" the moment the lights died. They soon faced the terrifying truth: they were at the mercy of superior beings, and not even the Alein Grunts could help them now.

Many of them turned on their onboard flashlights, and tried to navigate through the darkness. They had trouble fighting and fumbling around at the same time, many were running about like fool chickens with their heads cut off, though a few got into more organized bands and tried to make a breaak for the exit.

Meanwhile, outside, HKPD SWAT, HKPD regulars, and all kinds of civilians eager to issue Texas-style Justice were assembling outside in response, the fight was now national news and everybody wanted to do something.

One man, who looked to be the leader of this group dressed in flak armor and a baseball cap, yelled, "I want this building stormed, I want the Secretary of Defense and the Secretary of Education out alive! Kill as many as possible, we don't know what will happen. And for God's sake, will somebody tell the Pwnageites that we're friendlies!"

The guards were walking around silently, stabbing hapless CIA agents at will. The only noises were the sounds of teeth, claws and talons sticking into flesh, dying groans, and guts splattering the ground.

The power came back on after a few minutes.

The cops stormed in, a few of them lost their most recent meal onto the carpet after seeing the scene.

CIA bodies were scattered everywhere, most not in one piece. The guards had hit some CIA agents so hard, their blood and guts had splattered onto the walls from the center of the room.

The cleaning bills would be really, really, really expensive.

The SWAT team members walked out, and said "Damn...."

The Secretary of Defense simply said, "that's something I'll never forget. C'mon. let's go before they slap a HUGE cleanup bill on us."

"Thankfully, this didn't get destroyed." Cordell grabbed the Manila folder.

"Oh, where are we gonna stay now?" asked a guard.

Gordon Lew then suddenly appeared in the room. "Hey, I heard what happened...sorry......I think I might be able to help....you guys wanna shack up at my place for a bit? I kicked Fred out, he's in rehab, so you've got more room."

Cordell shrugged.

"Eh, it's better than staying on the plane. Oh, I have a preliminary program up and running. I hope I didn't ruin this hotel's reputation. People are going to be talking about this place for years."

Gordon said, "Meh, we'll probably be seeing some ghosts, we'll do some ghost tours, but I don't think the Pen will lose any business....not if the Lews have anything to say about it. We own this place, y'know, a lot of s**t gets done here, and that is a more important factor. Though I do think more security will be arriving here...and matenance will be quite busy."


He then led them outside to the waiting motorcade, who would take them to the President's House.

As they got to the President's house/palace/mansion/whatever, a MassPwnage delivery van left.

"Hmm... that looked like my cousin. Did he fuck up and trip as he was delivering your anti-lifeform rifle?"

As they got to the President's house/palace/mansion/whatever, a MassPwnage delivery van left.

"Hmm... that looked like my cousin. Did he fuck up and trip as he was delivering your anti-lifeform rifle?"

Gordon said, "Hmmm....apparently not. Why?"

"Just wondering..."

Meanwhile.... someone was loading up Fred's hentai CD's into a clay dispenser....

"Just wondering..."

Meanwhile.... someone was loading up Fred's hentai CD's into a clay dispenser....

Gordon said, "Oh yeah, I was just telling Kellin Hannon, he's from Camel Eaters and my daughter's boyfriend, that he could shoot those damned things up to test your new gun."

The vehicles then parked in the House, and then Gordon led them inside, where Melissa, his wife, was there to meet the party.

Cordell looked around...

"Err... judging by where Kellin is supposed to stand and calculating for bullet drop, windage and angle of fire, the first bullet fired should land right in Gordon Freeman Memorial Hospital, the Emergency room to be exact."

"Oh hello there." Cordell greeted Melissa.

Cordell looked around...

"Err... judging by where Kellin is supposed to stand and calculating for bullet drop, windage and angle of fire, the first bullet fired should land right in Gordon Freeman Memorial Hospital, the Emergency room to be exact."

"Oh hello there." Cordell greeted Melissa.

Melissa greeted Cordell in a voice that resembled a thick Rhode Island accent, and said, "Hello, hello, hello! Welcome to our humble home, please, come in!"

As Melissa led them in, she said to Cordell, "How was your stay here so far?"

"Hmm... more than 200 fatalities, 1 ruined Hummer, not a bad trip."

"Hmm... more than 200 fatalities, 1 ruined Hummer, not a bad trip."

Melissa said, "Oh my....such violence! Did you get any work done?"

"Oh, of course. Speaking of which..."

Cordell handed the folder to Gordon.

"This, is yours."

"Oh, of course. Speaking of which..."

Cordell handed the folder to Gordon.

"This, is yours."

Gordon said, examing the folder: "Not bad......glad to see that the interruption wasn't too much. Thanks."

"No problem, I haven't had that much fun since I was trapped alone in no man's land in the middle of a tank battle with the Soviet Republic of Russia."

Then suddenly Cordell's cellphone rang.

"Yea? Uh-huh, alright."

Cordell covered the speaker.

"It's the Great Leader, he wants to talk to you."

Cordell put the cellphone on "Hologram" mode and an image of the Great Leader Li appeared.

"Oh hello there, I hope whatever Cordell drew up is satisfactory."

"No problem, I haven't had that much fun since I was trapped alone in no man's land in the middle of a tank battle with the Soviet Republic of Russia."

Then suddenly Cordell's cellphone rang.

"Yea? Uh-huh, alright."

Cordell covered the speaker.

"It's the Great Leader, he wants to talk to you."

Cordell put the cellphone on "Hologram" mode and an image of the Great Leader Li appeared.

"Oh hello there, I hope whatever Cordell drew up is satisfactory."

Gordon said, "Hey, its no problem....unfortunately, I have not had an opportunity to read the packet yet. I trust though, that Cordell did a good job."

"Well anyway... how about a state visit later?"

Gordon smiled and said, "Cool, why not? You're always welcome to come to our neck of the woods."