NationStates Jolt Archive

Somewhere near the Admiralty Station, Hong Kong, around tea time.

Victoria Lew was sitting there, looking pretty, ixing herself up for her meeting with Kellin Hannon. Kellin was a boy she had met over Instant Messenger, and the two chatted regualrly, using e-mail and letters as well. She had grown fond of him, she felt he was quite an interesting and fun pwrson. Plus, the fact htat he was related to the King of Camel Eaters didn't hurt.

So, when she was loking for a suitor, as her mom had been nagging for her to do, she exercised the fact that she was 18 and asked Kellin to come to Hong Kong. She wanted to meet him in person, and see what he was like, perhaps have some fun times.

Little did she know that she would get more than she bargained for......

Anyway, as she sat in the bus stop near the Station, she cradled her gifts. They were a box of chocolates, $50 in a card, and a copy of The Zombie Survival Guide. She smiled and thought to herself:

"Kellin......even the name is nice......God, I'm a good girl, I get good grades, I work hard, I've been accepted into Kleiner Polytechnic, and I wanna be Chief of National Police. I have the brains, the wit, and the boobs to succeed......"

She chuckled at that last thought.

She then saw Kellin coming out of the station.

Oh God, what is he going to say!? she thought.

Then, he came up to her, and said......

OOC: Make up something cool, this is gonna be interesting...... ;)

"Hello miss do you know where I could find a Victoria Hannon......oh damnit I mean Lew!" He slid on the gravel and hit the ground his shoe flying off and smacking her in the face as he jumped up his cheeks flushed so much that the veins were noticeable.

"Oh gods above I'm so sorry!" He moved forward with a hankerchief to wipe her face off but slipped again and ended up face first in her cleavage. He coughed quietly and decided to stay there for a few minutes...

"Hello miss do you know where I could find a Victoria Hannon......oh damnit I mean Lew!" He slid on the gravel and hit the ground his shoe flying off and smacking her in the face as he jumped up his cheeks flushed so much that the veins were noticeable.

"Oh gods above I'm so sorry!" He moved forward with a hankerchief to wipe her face off but slipped again and ended up face first in her cleavage. He coughed quietly and decided to stay there for a few minutes...

"Hello miss do you know where I could find a Victoria Hannon......oh damnit I mean Lew!" He slid on the gravel and hit the ground his shoe flying off and smacking her in the face as he jumped up his cheeks flushed so much that the veins were noticeable.

"Oh gods above I'm so sorry!" He moved forward with a hankerchief to wipe her face off but slipped again and ended up face first in her cleavage. He coughed quietly and decided to stay there for a few minutes...

"Hello miss do you know where I could find a Victoria Hannon......oh damnit I mean Lew!" He slid on the gravel and hit the ground his shoe flying off and smacking her in the face as he jumped up his cheeks flushed so much that the veins were noticeable.

"Oh gods above I'm so sorry!" He moved forward with a hankerchief to wipe her face off but slipped again and ended up face first in her cleavage. He coughed quietly and decided to stay there for a few minutes...

Victoria screamed and said, "Holy shit!," shoving Kellin back. She then got him in a full nelson and forced him to the ground, saying, "Pervert! Get some! Get some!"

Then, she stopped and got up, turning red. This was Kellin Hannon.

F**k...., she thought.

Then, she said, "Sorry about that," helping him up.

After he got up, she then said, "I am Victoria Lew. You must be Kellin Hannon."

OOC: Last post for tonight. Feel free to respond, I'll get back to it tomorrow...

"Yeah I'm Kellin. Sorry bout that." He laughed and kicked the ground slowly whistling as his eyes flashed over her chest again.

Smiling broadly he shrugged and said. "So Vicky where should we go?" He looked around fingering a pocket knife as he turned quickly and scratched "himself" rather publicly. Turning back to face Victoria he smiled broadly and chuckled once more.

Victoria looked at him oddly for a moment, and thought, Okay.....

She then took a drink of water and said, "Well, I was waiting for the bus, then, when it comes, we can go get a meal, if you're hungry, then we could get back to Central Freeman City, where the President's House is. My Mom wanted to meet you."

She then said, "Just one thing. You willing to put up with a kid who's a Keith Moon-type who is a Fabusist and a Hentai freak?"

"Let me ask you a question. Do you serve camel? Also yeah sure I'll put up with the kid. Just so long as I get to slap him every once in a while. Hehe. So what type of food do y'all eat over here?"

He smiled and pulled out a silvery flask and took a swig. Putting it back he noticed her copy of The Zombie Survival Guide. He smirked and nodded approvingly.

*Jumps up.*
*Slams a label on the thread.*
*Uber exageration all around.*

Tag! Oh wow is this is wierd...

"Let me ask you a question. Do you serve camel? Also yeah sure I'll put up with the kid. Just so long as I get to slap him every once in a while. Hehe. So what type of food do y'all eat over here?"

He smiled and pulled out a silvery flask and took a swig. Putting it back he noticed her copy of The Zombie Survival Guide. He smirked and nodded approvingly.

Victoria said, "Well, we've got Chinese food, Japanese food, American food, you name it, there will be a restaurant.....we might have camel, there is a place called 'Habib's Bar and Grill.'"

Victoria said, "Bye the way, glad to see you like the Zombie Survival Guide."

Then, a double decker bus pulled, and Victoria said, "Yup, this is our bus."

She then walked in, along with Kellin, paying the driver and sitting in a seat near the front......unfortunately, they were also near two fat old ladies, and a group of gangsta kids, Japanese rappers, fllipping off everybody in the bus.

Kellin turned and looked at the gangster rapper kids. He chuckled a little to himself and got up walking back.

"Hey mons how ya doing? Min' turning dat down for everyone on da bas?" He looked at them with a wry grin both hands in his pocket.

If Victoria had been looking she would have noticed a sharp point coming out of the back of Kellin's pocket and a stick dangling from the back of his jacket.

Kellin turned and looked at the gangster rapper kids. He chuckled a little to himself and got up walking back.

"Hey mons how ya doing? Min' turning dat down for everyone on da bas?" He looked at them with a wry grin both hands in his pocket.

If Victoria had been looking she would have noticed a sharp point coming out of the back of Kellin's pocket and a stick dangling from the back of his jacket.

The Japanese rappers simply laughed, and the biggest one, who had a mohawk, said, "What's wrong wit' choo, man!? Don't you know who we are? We's the Inokashira Boyz. We make our own rules."

The others said, "OOOHHH! Tell him, Kenny! Tell him good!"

"Kenny," said, "Now, little man, who's your girlfriend? RAWAR!"

The others laughed, as Victoria said, "Hey, knock it off, I'm the President's daughter."

The "Inokashira Boyz" simply laughed and said, "You mean dat rat-soup eating mufuhker Lew? Who hangs out with that Klansman dude? Your daddy don't mean shit, he ain't my prez, nevrermind, you're a skank."

Victoria said to Kellin, "Kids like that should be left behind...."

Kellin laughed and slammed his head into one of the Inokashira Boyz. The stick that he had behind him swung around as he bent quickly trying to knock Kenny's feet out from under him as he rushed with the knife in his pocket.

"You don't call women skanks!" He roared charging into the gangstas.

OOC: The honor of women is held high in my nation. That's why he is attacking.

Kellin laughed and slammed his head into one of the Inokashira Boyz. The stick that he had behind him swung around as he bent quickly trying to knock Kenny's feet out from under him as he rushed with the knife in his pocket.

"You don't call women skanks!" He roared charging into the gangstas.

OOC: The honor of women is held high in my nation. That's why he is attacking.

Kenny was knocked to the floor, and then rolled to escape the knife. He then got up, and pulled out a Fairbairn-Sykes Knife, saying, "You wanna dance? I wanna polka."

Victoria pulled out a stungun, got up near Kellin, and said, "Need any help?"

The others simply laughed like hyenas and said, "That's EXTREME, DUDE!," before pulling out their own and brass knuckles and small ballpeen hammers.

Kenny then said, "Okay boyz! ADVANCE MENACINGLY!"

In an imitation of West Side Story, they began moving low on the ground, snapping their fingers and moving in a ritualized, almost choreographed style towards Kellin, humming tunes from the movie.

"You are the gayest dumbasses I've ever seen." Kellin shook his head and pulled out a pistol. He leveled it and began firing into the gang at random laughing maniacally.

He turned after all his bullets had been fired into the gang and sat down pulling out a copy of Ned Riley's The Art of Bargaining.

"You are the gayest dumbasses I've ever seen." Kellin shook his head and pulled out a pistol. He leveled it and began firing into the gang at random laughing maniacally.

He turned after all his bullets had been fired into the gang and sat down pulling out a copy of Ned Riley's The Art of Bargaining.

The bus driver stopped and said, "Holy Shit! What the f**k was that!?" Many of the people on the bus either applauded Kellin or ran in fear.

The gang members said, "F**k......" they were wounded, but not mortally so, they were limping out of the bus.

Kenny said, "We'll be back....."

Victoria said, "Wow. You've got diplomatic immunity, right?"

She pointed to the injured men, saying: "I have a snub-nosed .38 I carry besides the stungun, but I'm not inclined to do that...."

"Diplomatic immunity? Yeah I think so. Though I mean in Camel Eaters this wouldn't have been necessary. People on the bus would have already killed then for callin you a skank before I could even fire."

He smiled and took another swig from his flask he offered it to her for a moment the liquid inside glowing slightly as he did so. His smile beamed even more and he began twirling his stick for a moment while waiting for a response.

"Diplomatic immunity? Yeah I think so. Though I mean in Camel Eaters this wouldn't have been necessary. People on the bus would have already killed then for callin you a skank before I could even fire."

He smiled and took another swig from his flask he offered it to her for a moment the liquid inside glowing slightly as he did so. His smile beamed even more and he began twirling his stick for a moment while waiting for a response.

Victoria said, taking a swig of the fluid, "What is this? It is very good...."

"It's fermented camel milk mixed with banana smashings. In my country they call it Sand Tonic....I think there's some cow blood in there as well."

"It's fermented camel milk mixed with banana smashings. In my country they call it Sand Tonic....I think there's some cow blood in there as well."

Victoria resisted the urge to spit out the drink, she could take the fermented milk, and the bananas, but cow's blood! Of course, she didn't say that out loud, she wanted to be polite.

She gulped it down and smiling, said, "Hmmm....not bad...get my brother to try this, he'll freak out."

The bus stopped, and Victoria said, "Here we are, Central Freeman."

Getting her things, Vicky and Kellin walked off the bus into the stop.

"Hehe. You wanted to spit it out didn't you." He got his stuff and walked off glancing around at Central Freeman.

"It's so big and filled with unused space! Why you could land a carrier in here."

He got out a camera and took a few pictures.

"This place is nice. So where do we go from here, eh?"

"Hehe. You wanted to spit it out didn't you." He got his stuff and walked off glancing around at Central Freeman.

"It's so big and filled with unused space! Why you could land a carrier in here."

He got out a camera and took a few pictures.

"This place is nice. So where do we go from here, eh?"

Victoria said, "Well, I would not say its empty......"

She pointed to the National Bank of Upper Xen building (http://www.raingod.com/angus/Gallery/Photos/Asia/China/HongKong/images/HongKongBankOfChina01.jpg) and the Zhang-Sakura Consortium HQ. (http://half-life2.tpak.net/grafika/postavy/citadel.jpg)

"Those two take up a lot of space, and we do have the World's Largest Statue of Gordon Freeman, 900 feet in height. Anyway, a lot of business gets done here, and lemme see....where is Habib's Bar and Grill?"

She then puled out a map of the area, and then said, "Okay, it is a block in front of us, we keep walking, and we should see a sign with a stereotypical Arab guy with an AK, that is the place."

"Ooh stereotypical Arab guy!" He yelled pointing at the sign which he ran into speaking with anyone who would listen in fluent and fast Arabic.

He began ordering everything on the menu. Producing money left and right as he spoke even faster in a language he doubted anyone who worked at the restaurant knew.

"Ooh stereotypical Arab guy!" He yelled pointing at the sign which he ran into speaking with anyone who would listen in fluent and fast Arabic.

He began ordering everything on the menu. Producing money left and right as he spoke even faster in a language he doubted anyone who worked at the restaurant knew.

Victoria said, "Mmkay....I'll just have the roasted lamb and lentils."

She had that, and as she was eating, the manager, Habib, walked out, and met this interesting customer, who had excellent command of Arabic.

He said to him, "Hello, friend, I am Habib Al-Saheed, I run this place, you are the best customer I have had in a while! Finally, sombody who actually understands and speaks my tounge!"

He turned to Victoria and said to Kellin, "And who might your ladyfriend be?"

"The Presdent's daughter." He kept eating and then showed the manager a picture of this (http://www.neave.com/lab/misc/imagination.html)

"I felt like showing you that. Why you ask? Well I'm bored and wanted to see your reaction Mr. Habib."

"The Presdent's daughter." He kept eating and then showed the manager a picture of this (http://www.neave.com/lab/misc/imagination.html)

"I felt like showing you that. Why you ask? Well I'm bored and wanted to see your reaction Mr. Habib."

Habib said, "Very interesting, my friend...ah yes, the President's daughter!"

He turned to her and addressed her in English (common in UX, we use US English as a standard language), "How was your meal?"

Vicky said, "Um, great. The lamb was roasted well, and the lentils made a nice addition."

Habib said, "Thank you, I will give those to the chef. And let me say, it is an honor to have your patronage."

Across the room, a man in a long, black trenchcoat (http://pclab.pl/zdjecia/artykuly/carnage/postal2/postal_dude.jpg) was sitting and staring at the group. He peered through the sunglasses and said to himself, "Well, well, well..."

He got up, pulled out a Desert Eagle pistol and said, "Hey Habib, remember me?!"

Habib turned and said, "You......you infidel! You destroyed my shop, you ruined my plans! How did you get here!?"

The man said, "Nevermind that, I've got stuff to do....like waxing your ass."

Kellin rubbed his eyebrows and stood up glancing around the room at the man in trenchcoat. He walked over and patted the man on the shoulder.

"Why are you doing this man? He's a harmless little Arab. Plus that shotgun is really disguising the fact that you're over compensating for your incredibly small penis. So just hand the thing to me and sit down."

He smiled and held out a hand for the gun.

Kellin rubbed his eyebrows and stood up glancing around the room at the man in trenchcoat. He walked over and patted the man on the shoulder.

"Why are you doing this man? He's a harmless little Arab. Plus that shotgun is really disguising the fact that you're over compensating for your incredibly small penis. So just hand the thing to me and sit down."

He smiled and held out a hand for the gun.

OOC: He has a Desert Eagle pistol.

IC:

Habib said to Kellin, "No, sir, this is between him and me. Stand aside, for this infidel, who ruined my Arizona base, er, shop will get a royal smackdown."

The man in the trenchcoat said, "Kid, listen to him. This guy and I have some issues to work out.....you and your galpal, get the f**k down."

Several women with Desert Eagles and men who resembled IRA gunmen with bandoleers and Canadian camo jackets soon came to Habib's side.

In response, a team of look-alikes came to the man's side.

The man smiled, and said, "Today is the first day of the end of your lives."

Habib said, "Bring it, f**kwad."

The two sides soon began pulling out machetes and pistols, and went at it. Habib and the man began firing at each other, using Desert Eagles.

The scene turning to chaos, everybody left except Victoria and Kellin. Vicky, spooting a door at the end of the hall, said, "Let's go there.....we can at least hope not to get shot."

OOC: Damnit I went by the pic.

IC: Kellin debated with himself for a moment. "Can I at least fire blindly into the crowd a few times first?"

OOC: Damnit I went by the pic.

IC: Kellin debated with himself for a moment. "Can I at least fire blindly into the crowd a few times first?"

Vicky, loading her Ruger SP-101 with .357 Magnum, said, "Sure."

She fired at the IRA-looking men, and took some of them down. Her time spent on the range gave her the skill to compensate for the immense recoil the extra power of the .357 threw at Vicky, but still, she barely managed to hit the gunmen, who were by now throwing grenades and using full on M16A1 rifles on the men in trenchcoats, who were using the same armaments, plus Molotov cocktails.

ooc: \/\/007!!! U83r 1337 57uff!!!1

ooc: \/\/007!!! U83r 1337 57uff!!!1
OOC: Little bastard stay out.

IC: Kellin was in love. He raised up and began firing round after round into the crowd of fighting men. He pulled the pin on a grenade and threw it at an old couple that had been dining but was now cringing on the floor with fear.

Laughing maniacally he swept Vicky up into his arms and disappeared behind the door. That's when he realized what he was doing. His face flushed red as he lowered her down again.

"Sorry."

OOC: Little bastard stay out.

IC: Kellin was in love. He raised up and began firing round after round into the crowd of fighting men. He pulled the pin on a grenade and threw it at an old couple that had been dining but was now cringing on the floor with fear.

Laughing maniacally he swept Vicky up into his arms and disappeared behind the door. That's when he realized what he was doing. His face flushed red as he lowered her down again.

"Sorry."

Vicky said, "Not now, maybe later."

She then turned and saw the door close, but she managed to catch a glimpse of the sign that was on it.

It said, "EMPLOYEES ONLY, HATERS AND INFIDELS KEEP OUT!"

Vicky said, "I think we may have gone into a very unwelcoming place....."

She turned and saw several MSG barrels, and another door. Things looked innocuous so far, but still, there was something not right about this place.

She reloaded her revolver, and said to Kellin, "Eyes wide. You up for some more asskicking?"

OOC: Little bastard stay out.

I'm not joining in the RP considering its closed, I just wanted to post a 1337 message 'cause 1337 is cool. Sorry if you thought otherwise.

"I've been here less than twenty-four hours and have already gotten into two fire fights. I think I can handle it."

He approached the door slowly kicking it open and falling back gun pointed towards the open void. Then something dawned on him.

"Maybe later? Hehehe."

"I've been here less than twenty-four hours and have already gotten into two fire fights. I think I can handle it."

He approached the door slowly kicking it open and falling back gun pointed towards the open void. Then something dawned on him.

"Maybe later? Hehehe."

The door opened, and there were a group of Arabic, Irish and German men reading Japanese comic books. The walls were decorated with pictures of anime girls, and there was a portrait of a Japanese woman in a Canadian Camo jacket with an M16A1 in hand.

Vicky said, "F**k, these guys are from the Real Anime Liberation Movement. Glass 'em!"

The Germans went, "Schiesse! Get them, they know too much!"
They soon pulled out guns and got ready to start shooting.

Vicky put one of the barrels in front of her, and used it as a shield, firing out from behind it, getting one guy. They had MAC-10's, none too accurate, but quite deadly.

Kellin resorted to something drastic. He threw his rarest mangas at them. Shouting in a mixture of Irish and Arabic he was saying something along the lines of.

"Hey dudes we're not here to hurt you but if you promise not to kill us she'll give you oral pleasure! All you have to do is drop the guns."

Kellin resorted to something drastic. He threw his rarest mangas at them. Shouting in a mixture of Irish and Arabic he was saying something along the lines of.

"Hey dudes we're not here to hurt you but if you promise not to kill us she'll give you oral pleasure! All you have to do is drop the guns."

The terrorists began yelling at each other, and said to Kellin in Arabic, "Okay, man, but she'd better come out. And she has to wear this. AND ONLY THIS!"

They threw Vicky a flak jacket.

Vicky said, "The f**ks going on?"

"Okay Vicky here's the deal you wear only that and they'll put down their guns. They think you're going to give them oral pleasure." He leaned in and whispered.

"But I'm going to shoot them when they put their guns down. Got the plan?"

"Okay Vicky here's the deal you wear only that and they'll put down their guns. They think you're going to give them oral pleasure." He leaned in and whispered.

"But I'm going to shoot them when they put their guns down. Got the plan?"

Vicky, shocked, said, "The f**k!? Damnit, you'd better kill them quick, or I will f**k you up."

She then began undressing, and put on the flak vest. Perverts..... she thought.

She came out, and the terrorists said, "Yeah! Woo!!"

She rolled her eyes and said to herself, "Do this quick..."

Kellin licked his lips for a second and then shook his head unloading his gun into the terrorists quickly.

When he was done firing he reloaded and then emptied that clip into them. He did it again. Then he did it a third time.

"You have been raped with a spatula.......bitches." He lowered the gun and handed Vicky her clothes.

Kellin licked his lips for a second and then shook his head unloading his gun into the terrorists quickly.

When he was done firing he reloaded and then emptied that clip into them. He did it again. Then he did it a third time.

"You have been raped with a spatula.......bitches." He lowered the gun and handed Vicky her clothes.

Vicky put her clothes back on, and said, "Thanks, Kellin."

She then went on a looting spree. She took a MAC-10, three clips of ammo, at least 500 Xenthalers, and as much manga as she could fit into a laundry sack.

Vicky said, "Well, if you wanna take something, go ahead....these guys don't need their guns anymore."

He took as much ammo as he could carry, his manga and some other rare ones, the flak jacket Vicky had worn (for maybe later) and the heads of the men he had killed.

"Well where should we set off to now? Your house mayhap?"

He took as much ammo as he could carry, his manga and some other rare ones, the flak jacket Vicky had worn (for maybe later) and the heads of the men he had killed.

"Well where should we set off to now? Your house mayhap?"

Vicky said, "Sure. We'll need a car though. this stuff is heavy."

She then saw the terrorists' 1963 Lincoln Continental.

Vicky said, "You wanna take that?"

"Wow. A gang fight, two firefights, and car-jacking! I love Upper Xen."

He broke into the car and hot wired the engine quickly throwing all the stuff in the back and gesturing quickly to Vicky to throw her stuff in and get in.

"I always wanted to just high-tail it down a random street."

"Wow. A gang fight, two firefights, and car-jacking! I love Upper Xen."

He broke into the car and hot wired the engine quickly throwing all the stuff in the back and gesturing quickly to Vicky to throw her stuff in and get in.

"I always wanted to just high-tail it down a random street."

Vicky threw her stuff in the back, and got in.

"Okay, you can't miss the House, it is the big Mansion loioking thing on top of a hill....it is near the Northwest edge of Central Freeman."

"Hehe. Well we'll find it eventually."

He grinned like a demon and hit the throttle hard taking off down the street at random screaming as he turned up the radio and leaned out of the car shouting in a mixture of Appalachian, Arabic, and Irish.

He hit a drop-off in the street sending the car flying for a few yards.

"Hehe. Well we'll find it eventually."

He grinned like a demon and hit the throttle hard taking off down the street at random screaming as he turned up the radio and leaned out of the car shouting in a mixture of Appalachian, Arabic, and Irish.

He hit a drop-off in the street sending the car flying for a few yards.

Vicky said, "The f**k are you doing!? Hong Kong traffic will eat you alive!"

The surrounding drivers were freaked out, screaming at Kellin things like "Watch it, asshole!" and "Up yours, buddy!"

Soon, a cop on his beat, driving around on his Harley, soon saw Kellin's antics, turned on his sirens and began driving after him, yelling into his radio:

"We've got a crazy! Repeat, we've got a crazy! Somebody get this asshole and ticket him, throw in a Disturbing the Peace for good measure, over."

He pulled out his Colt .45, fired warning shots at the car.

"Hey Vick! This thing has hydraulics!" He turned the hydros on sending the car straight up at full speed.

It wobbled a bit from where it was and came crashing back down on all four tires. Kellin leaned back in his chair and laughed his ass off as the shots his the back of the windshield.

He got out of the car and then jumped up standing on top of it as he peered into the screaming traffic looking for the cop that had fired at him. He spotted him and waved high. Except his gun was in his hand that he was waving with.

"Hey!" He screamed. "How are ya? Was I speeding?"

The cop said, "F**k. He's got a gun."

He called on the radio, and said, "HQ, this is Unit 6, that dude I was chasing has a loaded pistol. REPEAT: A LOAED F**KING PISTOL! GET SOME SWAT GUYS IN HERE, NOW!"

He pulled out his .45 and said, "Okay man, put down the gun, and surrender peacefully! If you don't, HKPD will take the time and the tax money to shoot your ass! YOU HEAR ME!"

He shrugged and beckoned Vicky out of the car handed her the gun and then threw the man some of his other weapons.

The throwing knife didn't have the protective blade cover on it though.

He shrugged and beckoned Vicky out of the car handed her the gun and then threw the man some of his other weapons.

The throwing knife didn't have the protective blade cover on it though.

The knife hit the front tire of the man's Harley. He then said, "That's it tough guy! YOU DIE NOW!"

He began firing at them. At the same time, his buddies arrived, and got out shotguns, M4's, and XP-25 Vle Machine Pistols (based on the O'Dwyer). Encircling the Lincoln, they soon began aiming their guns at the couple.

One of them said, "Hey, that is the President's daughter! F**ker kidnapped the Prez's daughter! He's an RALM'er! WASTE HIM!"

Vicky soon shoved Kellin low on the ground along with herself as the men began firing.

"Aw f**kers are pissing me off Vicky. Also why are they shooting at us?"

He had to fight an urge not to grab her ass while he was laying there. He decided he valued life too much though.

He rolled over twice ending up under the car with her on top of him again.

"Aw f**kers are pissing me off Vicky. Also why are they shooting at us?"

He had to fight an urge not to grab her ass while he was laying there. He decided he valued life too much though.

He rolled over twice ending up under the car with her on top of him again.

Vicky said, "Apparently, they think you've kidnapped me....."

She got a hanky, and waved it at the men. They stopped firirng and said, "Come out!"

Vicky came out and said, "He didn't kidnap me, Kellin's a person I met on IM, and I decided to meet him here. We went out to eat, and got into a mess with some RALMers at Habib's."

The men talked for a moment and said, "Wait, how do we know you aren't brainwashed?"

Vicky rolled her eyes and said, "Listen, guys, just calm down. Let us pass, everything will be okay."

The men talekd and said, "Fine, you've a clean criminal record, we trust you, but we all get a free nut-punch to your boyfriend for making us waste our time."

Vicky said, "Fine....."

She turned to Kellin and said, "Kellin? Did you hear that?"

"Uh.....yeah I did. Are you going to shoot them or something while they're at it? Like I did at the restaurant. To save our lives!"

He rolled out from under the car and got up slowly looking around at the men who all wanted to crunch his nuts.

"Uh.....yeah I did. Are you going to shoot them or something while they're at it? Like I did at the restaurant. To save our lives!"

He rolled out from under the car and got up slowly looking around at the men who all wanted to crunch his nuts.

Vicky said, "Hmmmm......I have a better idea."

The men got up and said, "Let's kick his ass!"

They lined up, and moved to punch him in the nuts....

Then, Vicky pulled out the MAC-10 she had and said, "Don't f**kin' move. You forgot something. Mr. Hannon has diplomatic immunity. You f**k with him, his government can f**k with you."

THe cops said, "At least one?"

She said, "NO!"

They said, "Fine, but mark my words, we'll get you....."

They all drove off, leaving a scene of carnage and a very torn up Lincoln Continental.

A hobo walking by said, "Lucky bastard," and walked off.

Kellin burst out laughing at the scene.

"You just threatened police officers that my family would do something about me getting my nuts pulverized?"

He leaned against the car and through his head back tears streaming his eyes from the hilarity of it.

"My family would do something all right. Descend upon them in the night and let a horny bear loose in their rooms!"

He fell over and got back up dusting off his clothes he looked at the hobo.

"Hey you guy. Need a job? Cause I need a driver for this place. Not used to Hong Kong traffic."

Kellin pulled out some cash and put it in the front seat of the Continental and the got in back.

"It's all yours buddy if you'll agree to drive us."

Kellin burst out laughing at the scene.

"You just threatened police officers that my family would do something about me getting my nuts pulverized?"

He leaned against the car and through his head back tears streaming his eyes from the hilarity of it.

"My family would do something all right. Descend upon them in the night and let a horny bear loose in their rooms!"

He fell over and got back up dusting off his clothes he looked at the hobo.

"Hey you guy. Need a job? Cause I need a driver for this place. Not used to Hong Kong traffic."

Kellin pulled out some cash and put it in the front seat of the Continental and the got in back.

"It's all yours buddy if you'll agree to drive us."

Vicky smiled and said, "If it is one thing HKPD knows, it's diplomatic immunity. They don't f**k with guys with that status, they don't wanna get sued or shot, or have a horny bear come into their house....."

The hobo said, "Sure. Hold on."

He got into the Continental, and said, "OKay you kids, get onboard! I hope you don't mind my driving style..."

Vicky got inside, the door simply fell off, and she just slid in.

Kellin chuckled and patted the hobo's back.

"Let's go manny!"

He began driving, he was quite calm, but sometimes, he had a tendency to drive on the sidewalk in insane fits, exposing them to angry passersby who opened fire on them with Colt .45's, Lugers, or M14's (we have very liberal gun laws).

Still, the hobo got them there safe, he slammed into the fence of the President's House, scremaing, "PRAISE JEBBUS! THE WORLD IS MADE OF CHEES AND EWES!"

He ran out, with his cash.

Vicky got out and used the intercom in the gate, she spent five minutes explaining why a beat up 1963 Lincoln was lodged in the fence.

Then, the gates opened, and she said, "Let's go."

"Damn I gotta get that guy's name. He'll make a nice addition to my adopted family."

He turned and looked at her.

"Yeah let's go. Though we may need to come up with a better explanation of why I'm here other than IM. Some parents get pissed off by that sort of stuff."

He kicked the fence open and walked inside the gates.

"Damn I gotta get that guy's name. He'll make a nice addition to my adopted family."

He turned and looked at her.

"Yeah let's go. Though we may need to come up with a better explanation of why I'm here other than IM. Some parents get pissed off by that sort of stuff."

He kicked the fence open and walked inside the gates.

He and Vicky were greeted by two burly Presidential Guards.

They soon said, "Ms. Lew, you're late....your mother is expecting you."

Vicky said, "Got it. Kellin, I gotta touch base with the parents, it'll be a moment...."

She then followed one of the guards. The other one said, "Hands up, please."

He began frisking him, running him over with a metal detector and scanning him for chemicals. After a twenty minute battery of tests, soem of which were ridiculously complex and humiliating, the guard said, "You can go now."

Kellin walked inside and looked for Vicky. When he spotted her he went up and said.

"I'm pretty sure one of those guards just came on to me. I mean is he supposed to shove his gloved hand up my ass and wiggle his fingers like that?"

He walked strangely for a little while.

Kellin walked inside and looked for Vicky. When he spotted her he went up and said.

"I'm pretty sure one of those guards just came on to me. I mean is he supposed to shove his gloved hand up my ass and wiggle his fingers like that?"

He walked strangely for a little while.

Vicky said, "Well, my Mom, she chewed me out, saw me on the news with Ron Burgundy with that MAC-10. Of course, she simply caned me, the Lews still use corporal punishment, and she took away my phone priveleges for a month."

She then noticed his walk and said, "Yeah, I dunno why they do that, anyway, wanna see my room?"

"You have your own room? Awesome! I usually have to sleep with the King's harem."

He paused for a moment and considered what had just come from his mouth.

He hung his head and kicked himself in the nuts before saying. "Not like that."

"You have your own room? Awesome! I usually have to sleep with the King's harem."

He paused for a moment and considered what had just come from his mouth.

He hung his head and kicked himself in the nuts before saying. "Not like that."

Vicky said, "Ah, I'm not fazed by that."

She then led him to her room.

It had a huge CSI poster on the door, a skeleton in one corner, a picture of Haruko Haruhara from FLCL on the wall, a poster detailing the various types of Colt .45's and a bookshelf of Who memorabilia and mangas, plus books on guns and history.

She had a laptop plugged into the wall, it had a a band sticker on its top that said "MAXIMUM R&B: THE WHO"

She then bowed and said, "Welcome to my lair."

I read the first page of this thread, and thought, "A story line".

Have fun! Action/adventure is usually better than most story line plots. ;)

"Hey is that a bed!"

He walked around the room poking and prodding everything he saw.

Eventually he looked around quickly and dove into the underwear drawer looking for hidden porn.

"Well haven't found any yet but there has to be some in here."

He kept digging.

"Hey is that a bed!"

He walked around the room poking and prodding everything he saw.

Eventually he looked around quickly and dove into the underwear drawer looking for hidden porn.

"Well haven't found any yet but there has to be some in here."

He kept digging.

Vicky said, "Well, if you want something hidden, here it is..."

She closed the room door, walked to the Haruko poster, and pushed it aside, revealing a hole in the wall.

She stuck a wire in, and, and a lock clicked. A door opened slowly, and inside, a hidden cache of anime toys, bear bonds and a safe with all of her valuables, including a few secret tapes and footage of Black Projects nobody was legally supposed to have.

She then said, "Whaddya think? Welcome to my Secret Stash."

"Hehe. Wow!"

He walked up to it and took the vault out examining the contents. His eyes went up as he picked through the videos.

"Can we watch a few of these?"

"Hehe. Wow!"

He walked up to it and took the vault out examining the contents. His eyes went up as he picked through the videos.

"Can we watch a few of these?"

Victoria said, pulling out a DVD: "Sure. Here's some test footage from the 1988 Khotan Headcrab Missile Test."

She popped it into her Okama Gamesphere, who recognized it, and queued it up.

She then shut all of the windows, activated a few White-Noise makers, and turned down the lights.

She then said, "Here we go...."

"To quote a great man. Ooh pretty boom!"

He pulled out his flask and sat back to watch the tests on Headcrabs.

Mid-way through he mumbled out loud.

"I wonder if there tasty?"

"To quote a great man. Ooh pretty boom!"

He pulled out his flask and sat back to watch the tests on Headcrabs.

Mid-way through he mumbled out loud.

"I wonder if there tasty?"

Victoria said, "Shh....hold on, here is the part where the CRF goes in and meets the Zombies."

The black and white NVG footage, grainy at best, showed men in camo and gas masks, walking into a facility just hit with one of the test rockets.

Soon, a few minutes later, they began encountering Zombies. Things began to resemble the movie Aliens, as the soldiers were running, and hiding from the hordes of filthy, homicidal, moaning screaming zombies and Headcrabs. The platoon who was filiming the event was losing one of its men, until six remained....

Vicky said, "How do you like it?"

"Is this a real event? If so I feel bad for those men but they provide great entertainment."

He began eating imaginary popcorn watching the screen intently as he did so. His hand drifted upwards in the old yawning long arm move.

He cracked his neck quickly and kept moving his arm....

"Is this a real event? If so I feel bad for those men but they provide great entertainment."

He began eating imaginary popcorn watching the screen intently as he did so. His hand drifted upwards in the old yawning long arm move.

He cracked his neck quickly and kept moving his arm....

Just then, as Vicky said, "Well, it is a real life event, not one of our proudest," a loud, percussive drumbeat filled the air.

After five minutes, Vicky said, "Hold on.....that's the drumbeat from the Who's Road Runner. I think I know who that is."

She got up, paused the movie, and went next door.

She threw opened the door, and revealed a very messy room with pictures of women in bikinis from various anime series, a very mussed up bedspread of Asuka Langley Sohryu from Neon Genesis Evangelion, and shelves of anime DVD's, not all of them aporopriate for younger viewers or people under 18.

On his desk, which was very cluttered, an open copy of The teachings of the Prophet Fabus was out, and several more Fabusist books lay on the bed, laying next to an open drawer with a crackpipe, an issue of the Hong Kong Expose (our resident tabloid), and a hentai magazine.

In the side of the room was a boy (http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Garden/4989/shinji/shinji1.jpg) who had a Quadrophenia t-shirt on, headphones, and soem very ratty jeans, banging away on a drum set. He was sweaty, antsy, and had a crazed look on his face. If somebody could win a Keith Moon impersonation prize, this guy would win it. (OOC: No disrespect meant to Keith, I am a Who fan myself).

Vicky said, "F**king stop banging that damn drum. I'm watching a good movie."

The boy continued to hammer away at his drums.

Vicky said, "Did you hear me?!"

The boy put his headphones down, and said, "Yeah, see I did hear you, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to care. Practicing my drum sets, and I can't be bothered."

Vicky said, "Fred, if you don't stop hammering that drum, Mom and Dad will 'accidentally' find your stash of porn, crack, and Fabusist literature."

Fred said, "Fine."

He stopped playing his drums and said, "For you mate, anything."

Vicky said, "Jeez, I am not one of your whores.....clean yourself up, will ya? And get some air freshener cause it stinks in here!"

Fred said, "Relax, Vicky, don't worry........anyway, I hjeard about that spree near Habib's, kickass. I know several guys at school who'll love to meet you."

Vicky said, "F**K off. I don't want to know your perv asshole friends."

Fred said, "Your loss, mate."

Vicky then rolled her eyes, and went back to her room.

Kellin looked at the porn with distaste. He humphed once and turned back around flicking Fred off and then secretely glancing at what porn he had collected.

Kellin looked at the porn with distaste. He humphed once and turned back around flicking Fred off and then secretely glancing at what porn he had collected.

Fred, acting very antsy as he soon began suffering from withdrawal, threw a Fairbarn-Sykes knife at Kellin, missing him by inches, saying, "F**king give me back my s**t!"

Kellin got up. Now when a Hannon gets up in the manner that Kellin got up it means someone may be dying very soon.

He walked over slowly throwing the knife in the air and catching it before it landed.

"So, you like throwing stuff at me, eh? You little prick."

Kellin threw the knife hard at Fred's face....

Kellin got up. Now when a Hannon gets up in the manner that Kellin got up it means someone may be dying very soon.

He walked over slowly throwing the knife in the air and catching it before it landed.

"So, you like throwing stuff at me, eh? You little prick."

Kellin threw the knife hard at Fred's face....

....and Fred ducked, missing the knife by inches.

He said, "You took my s**t! You don't mess with a man's stash of porn!"

He then broke down, and began saying, "Just hand my s**t back....."

"Give me the crack pipe and renounce Fabus and you get it all back little buddy."

Kellin held an open hand forward. Ready to accept the articles.

"Give me the crack pipe and renounce Fabus and you get it all back little buddy."

Kellin held an open hand forward. Ready to accept the articles.

Fred said, "Fine....here's my pipe, and my books on Fabus."

He handed the goods to Kellin in several shopping bags.

"You're going to go outside and burn it while I watch. Then you're going to take a shower and quit being an arse. Then and only then. Will you get your porn back."

Kellin looked through the bags quickly and then gestured outside with a nod of his head.

"You're going to go outside and burn it while I watch. Then you're going to take a shower and quit being an arse. Then and only then. Will you get your porn back."

Kellin looked through the bags quickly and then gestured outside with a nod of his head.

Before that happened, Vicky's mom said, "Dinnertime!"

Fred said, "Coming......"

Vicky said, "What's going on?"

"Well I was getting him to renounce Fabus and stop being a pain in the arse and give up smoking crack."

"Well I was getting him to renounce Fabus and stop being a pain in the arse and give up smoking crack."

Vicky said, "her, lemme help you."

She then got him in a headlock, and told him, in no uncertain terms: "This man is our guest....and my boyfriend. You f**k with him, his nation goes to war with us. You f**k with him, his parents will be happy to introduce you to a very horny bear. Got it?"

Fred said, "Jesus! I'll stop!"

Vicky let go and said, "C'mon, Kellin, let's go to dinner....we're having chicken and camels tonight."

"Boyfriend? Kick arse!"

He coughed and silently kicked Fred in the gut before following Vicky down to dinner.

At the table he bowed to all present and sat down admiring the chicken for a few minutes before poking it and looking around to see if he was allowed to eat yet.

"Well this is nice place y'all have here. My da breeds some turtles out there in Cuba. But mostly he uses it as an excuse to lay back and relax. Too tired to go on any more diplomatic missions he says."

Kellin smiled at the assembled people and lifted his flask in toast.

"To the furtherment of allyship mongst our two great nations!"

He tilted his head back and drained the flask in one go before slamming it on the table and giving a loud appreciative roar.

"Boyfriend? Kick arse!"

He coughed and silently kicked Fred in the gut before following Vicky down to dinner.

At the table he bowed to all present and sat down admiring the chicken for a few minutes before poking it and looking around to see if he was allowed to eat yet.

"Well this is nice place y'all have here. My da breeds some turtles out there in Cuba. But mostly he uses it as an excuse to lay back and relax. Too tired to go on any more diplomatic missions he says."

Kellin smiled at the assembled people and lifted his flask in toast.

"To the furtherment of allyship mongst our two great nations!"

He tilted his head back and drained the flask in one go before slamming it on the table and giving a loud appreciative roar.

Gordon Lew, Melissa Lew (his wife), Granny Lew, Jimmy Chaing, Fred Lew and Vicky all said "Here Here!"

They then drank their glasses down.

Gordon then said, "Let's eat!"

Everybody soon dug in, the chicken before long was reduced to particulate components as people began taking bits of it, and serving themselves.

Gordon Lew then said to Kellin, "So, Kellin......how do you like our little neck of the world so far?"

Kellin laughed and looked at him skeptically.

"Sir. There is nothing little about Upper Xen. The place is frellin' huge! And I love it! Two firefights in one day. God's balls where else can I get that sort of deal?"

Kellin laughed and looked at him skeptically.

"Sir. There is nothing little about Upper Xen. The place is frellin' huge! And I love it! Two firefights in one day. God's balls where else can I get that sort of deal?"

Gordon said, "Well, then, I'm glad to see you've entertained yourself....did you say two firefights? I only saw the one with Vicky on XNN with Ron Burgundy."

"Oh yeah there was one at Habib's joint. These perverted Canadians were bout to kill us. So I says if Vicky will give them oral pleasure will they let us go? They said yeah we will. So Vicky changes into the jacket they gave her to wear. A flak jacket it was. And when they're not looking I unload into their stagnant arses. Three whole clips."

Kellin sat back in his chair munching on chicken and camel.

"Oh yeah there was one at Habib's joint. These perverted Canadians were bout to kill us. So I says if Vicky will give them oral pleasure will they let us go? They said yeah we will. So Vicky changes into the jacket they gave her to wear. A flak jacket it was. And when they're not looking I unload into their stagnant arses. Three whole clips."

Kellin sat back in his chair munching on chicken and camel.

Gordon said, "Son, that was a most clever plan. A bit odd, but I used to have to think on my feet, too, I was a commando once. And those probably weren't Canadians, those were RALMers, they like Canadian jackets for some reason."

"Hey, as my father once said. To each his own perversion. And thank you sir for the compliment."

Kellin leaned forward a little and cleared his throat.

"So, what is your opinion of Fabus, crack smoking, and the illegal use of underage hentai?"

"Hey, as my father once said. To each his own perversion. And thank you sir for the compliment."

Kellin leaned forward a little and cleared his throat.

"So, what is your opinion of Fabus, crack smoking, and the illegal use of underage hentai?"

Gordon said, "Well, Fabus is a nice guy, I met him, but his ideology freaks me out a little, what with the race-baiting and all. And hentai? S**t, that stuff gives us anime fans a bad name. We also punish crack smokers with rehab, and get drug dealers with summary execution. I think it is a terrible and filthy habit, I admit I tried weed, but I didn't like it."

"Well sir have you been in your son's room lately?"

Kellin produced the bags of hentai and crack that had been taken from Fred's room.

"You see sir Vicky and I found all this in your son's room. I just thought you should know about it."

"Well sir have you been in your son's room lately?"

Kellin produced the bags of hentai and crack that had been taken from Fred's room.

"You see sir Vicky and I found all this in your son's room. I just thought you should know about it."

Gordon was surprised. He then turned red with rage.

He walked up to Fred, picked him up by the scruff of his neck, and told Kellin, "Excuse us for a moment."

He then went off to the side, and soon, the sounds of furious arguing, caning, and fighting could be heard all around the house. Heavy footsteps accompanied Fred's cries of pain as Gordon dragged Fred to his room, and soon, out of the window in the Dining Hall that overlooked Hong Kong, rocks of crack, hentai books, a computer, several life-size statues of Rei Ayanami and various other anime girl characters soon rained down.

Well, the crack and the hentai didn't survive. The comp lived. Everything else was somewhere in between, either smashed to bits or damaged or miraculously saved.

Then, bits of credit card rained down, and soon, a veritable waterfall of filth, hentai, Fabusist literature and other goods fell to the amazement of onlookers, along with a litany of abusive language and sounds that could only be that of a heavy bamboo cane hitting human flesh.

Then, Fred himself soon fell, apparently, he had jumped, in an attempt to kill himself. He didn't die, and soon began running, as Gordon jumped down and chased him, spouting hateful language, venting a day's worth of political mayhem, backroom deals gone wrong and diplomatic crises gone haywire.

Vicky said, "Wow. I've never seen him do that."

"It's simply beautiful. That is what it is. That little bastard finally got what for! Whoo! God bless a man who's angry at his son for being a stoned out pervert freak racist SOB!"

Kellin then noticed that Vicky's mother was sitting across from him.

"Sorry Ms. Lew I didn't meant that you were a b*tch."

He looked down in embarrasment.

"It's simply beautiful. That is what it is. That little bastard finally got what for! Whoo! God bless a man who's angry at his son for being a stoned out pervert freak racist SOB!"

Kellin then noticed that Vicky's mother was sitting across from him.

"Sorry Ms. Lew I didn't meant that you were a b*tch."

He looked down in embarrasment.

Melissa simply said, "Apology accepted....Gordon just had a rough day at the office, I have a feeling he will never live this down. Good thing folks still love me, I'm the Evita to his Juan Peron."

Melissa then said, "So.....tell me about yourself. How did you meet my daughter?"

"Uh...........bear hunting. Yeah that was it. Bear hunting. In.........Manchuria. Yeah, Manchuria.........eight years ago. Yeah eight years ago."

Kellin fidgeted for a second more before realizing how stupid he'd just sounded.

"Uh...........bear hunting. Yeah that was it. Bear hunting. In.........Manchuria. Yeah, Manchuria.........eight years ago. Yeah eight years ago."

Kellin fidgeted for a second more before realizing how stupid he'd just sounded.

Melissa said, "Come now, you can tell me...unlike Gordon, I am very accepting."

Vicky said, with authority and conviction: "Well, he is a nice boy I met at the Yue Hwa Department Store. I was getting some stuff, and we bumped into each other."

Melissa said, "Well, I'm glad to hear that."

Vicky thought: Score......

"Yeah Yu Hwore Department Store. I was looking for stationary and pencils. To write home about. Using the stationary and pencils I'd purchased."

"Yeah Yu Hwore Department Store. I was looking for stationary and pencils. To write home about. Using the stationary and pencils I'd purchased."

Melissa said, "Here.....have some tea. Relax."

She then poured Kellin a cup of tea and offered it to him.

He gulped the tea and smiled for a moment.

"Yeah Yue Hwa Department Store. I was shopping for a new flask. This one has a slight leak."

He gulped the tea and smiled for a moment.

"Yeah Yue Hwa Department Store. I was shopping for a new flask. This one has a slight leak."

Melissa looked at him oddly. "Hmm, I could recollect not but a few seconds ago that you said you were getting stationery."

She then leaned close and said, "Be honest. You met her on AIM. A mother knows, but I won't hold it against you."

"Yeah I did. Though I use Yahoo."

OOC: Sorry for the late response.

"Yeah I did. Though I use Yahoo."

OOC: Sorry for the late response.

OOC: That's cool.

IC:

Melissa said, "Ah well.....so, you kids want dessert?"

She pointed to a very delectable chocolate mousse pie.

Just then, Gordon stumbled back in, bloody, with a bottle of Jack and with a MAC-10 in hand.

He then put the gun on the table and said, "Anybody want to hear how my night went?"

"Umm. Sure how were you?"

Kellin nodded at the blood soaked Gordon.

"Mmm. Dessert."

"Umm. Sure how were you?"

Kellin nodded at the blood soaked Gordon.

"Mmm. Dessert."

Gordon said, "Well it all started when I was chasing that little f**k....I was cursing at him, all that good stuff. Along the way, he picks up a MAC-10, evidently, those matenance people didn't pick up that Lincoln you guys slammed into the fence-and Vicky, you wil pay for that-and Fred got the gun you guys took. He tried to shoot me in the foot, but he missed, and I tackled him. I then screamed at him for several more minutes, and he cried like a little girl. Eventually, I agreed that he would stay away from the house and go to rehab, in exchange, I would stop kicking his ass. Then, I dragged him into that Lincoln, and drove him to a rehab clinic."

He continued. "A funny thing happened then....after I dropped him off, I was met by a horde of Zombies, and then a gang of Goths who decided to summon Slaneesh, one of the Chaos Gods. I spent what seeemd to be an eternity trying to stop the Chaos forces from opening a portal to this world, fighting a Daemon Prince with a MAC-10, and defeating Chaos Cultists and Headcrab Zombies with a baseball bat. I then drove away, and was greeted by HKPD, who nearly had me locked up in a mental institution when they realized I was the President. They fined me for disturbing the peace, one of em was a Warhammer 40k fan, and let me go."

He said, "Well, let's eat."

He served the chocolate mousse pie to everybody, and began eating his share.

"Zombies? Hmm. Why would zombies be here?"

Kellin slowly ate his mousse trying to figure out what in the world was happening with zombies.

"Zombies? Hmm. Why would zombies be here?"

Kellin slowly ate his mousse trying to figure out what in the world was happening with zombies.

Gordon said, "Well, we have a problem with Headcrabs here, they zombify people when they kill them. They are a problem in urban and rural areas alike."

"Oh. Well then. Do they taste good?"

"Oh. Well then. Do they taste good?"

Gordon then said, "Well, they're like fugu, Japanese blowfish, you've gotta make 'em right, or else you get hit with a dose of headcrab venom, which kills. The legs, and some inner tissues are fine. Personally, antlions are easier to eat, they've more usable bits, don't use the pheremone sacs though."

bump

"Ooh. Phereomone sacs! What would they do? Hmm."

Kellin leaned forward wondering what evil acts he could pull with some Headcrabs under his command. Maybe some antlions too.

"Tell me of these antlions. Are they ant like lions? We have creatures that resemble these monstrosities in our nation. Tongers, we call 'em. Great hulking critters. Half man, half pit bull. We keep them as guards and pets in the royal clan."

"Ooh. Phereomone sacs! What would they do? Hmm."

Kellin leaned forward wondering what evil acts he could pull with some Headcrabs under his command. Maybe some antlions too.

"Tell me of these antlions. Are they ant like lions? We have creatures that resemble these monstrosities in our nation. Tongers, we call 'em. Great hulking critters. Half man, half pit bull. We keep them as guards and pets in the royal clan."

Gordon then said, "Well, they're buglike thingies that growl like lions (and like lions are carnivorious, hence the name), they use the pheremones to do various things, like signal others when its mating time, when it is time to hunt, and, I figured this out to my advantage in Yunnan in 1979, attract other antlions to prey. So if you have pheremones, especially from a female mother Antlion, you could concievably control a whole swarm, I did that once versus some guerillas in Yunnan, I got the pheremone sacs and threw them into an enemy trench, the Antlions had a feast."

He then summoned a servant to bring him a book with the words Xenizen Encyclopedia of Xenofauna and said, "Here's a more detailed descrpition of the antlion's combatitive nature," flipping to the right page, which displayed this:


http://www.planethalflife.com/half-life2/enemies/antlion.jpg

Antlion

Antlions always appear in small groups that constantly "reinforce." In short, no matter where they show up, you can never kill all of them. They are fast and capable of hop-gliding short distances, but relatively weak. Whenever you have to deal with them, kill the ones that are attacking you and run. Also note that you will find machines that constantly pound the ground when activated - these create a "safe" radius that antlions will not cross.

http://www.planethalflife.com/half-life2/enemies/antlionguard.jpg

Antlion Guard

These things are really powerful and nasty, and require lots of weapons fire to destroy. Suffice to say, they're a bit like Gargantua from Half-Life in the sense that they're "minibosses."

He handed the book to Kellin.

OOC: courtesy of www.planethalflife.com

Kellin flipped through the book amazed as he took notes on a napkin with an extra pencil he had lying around.
His eyes were a blur as he took in the information smiling to himself as he pulled out a mini-chemical dictionary and did a few equations quickly.
He got up and thought for a moment more.

"These things are pathetic in their weaknesses. A brood could be bred in Camel Eaters if you don't mind a team coming in to collect enough samples. Why, damn! We could trade! Antlions for Tongers! With our advanced biologic manipulation processes we could easily produce a gland in the royal clans of our assorted nations so that Antlions would be at our beck and whim!"

He sat down quickly a little flushed in the cheeks. A blackness was creeping into them slightly as he rubbed his chin in thought.

"If you wanted Tongers they're easy enough to breed and then train. Viscious little bastards. Smart too. We'd be happy to give you some."

Kellin flipped through the book amazed as he took notes on a napkin with an extra pencil he had lying around.
His eyes were a blur as he took in the information smiling to himself as he pulled out a mini-chemical dictionary and did a few equations quickly.
He got up and thought for a moment more.

"These things are pathetic in their weaknesses. A brood could be bred in Camel Eaters if you don't mind a team coming in to collect enough samples. Why, damn! We could trade! Antlions for Tongers! With our advanced biologic manipulation processes we could easily produce a gland in the royal clans of our assorted nations so that Antlions would be at our beck and whim!"

He sat down quickly a little flushed in the cheeks. A blackness was creeping into them slightly as he rubbed his chin in thought.

"If you wanted Tongers they're easy enough to breed and then train. Viscious little bastards. Smart too. We'd be happy to give you some."

Gordon said, "We'd be happy to give you some. I must warn you, Antlions breed like crazy. Very hard to handle. These Tongers seem interesting.....I could get a few for the National Zoo and Wildlife Preservation Park. Jimmy'd like one, he needs a good guard animal."

Jimmy, next to Gordon, said, "Oh yeah. How much can USD$10,000 get me?"

"I'd say........well shoot free! How many you need? Also," Kellin pointed to a page in the book, "these Houndeyes, would we be able to get a few of them maybe? We have a strange love of pack animals in Camel Eaters. Especially dangerous ones."

He got up and stretched for a moment. Strange ripples were seen under his shirt as he bent unnaturally in all directions. His eyes flicked over everything before submerging in his head.

He pulled out a cell phone and quickly dialed speaking in a strange dialect.

"Twa'dis'ga Utoman fik. Carg Antlion-san!" He rolled his eyes and made a talking sound with his hand. "Duno Tongers-san! Ka toogan!"

He hung up and rolled his back again. Sitting down for a moment he smiled at the assembled.

"The deal is done."

"I'd say........well shoot free! How many you need? Also," Kellin pointed to a page in the book, "these Houndeyes, would we be able to get a few of them maybe? We have a strange love of pack animals in Camel Eaters. Especially dangerous ones."

He got up and stretched for a moment. Strange ripples were seen under his shirt as he bent unnaturally in all directions. His eyes flicked over everything before submerging in his head.

He pulled out a cell phone and quickly dialed speaking in a strange dialect.

"Twa'dis'ga Utoman fik. Carg Antlion-san!" He rolled his eyes and made a talking sound with his hand. "Duno Tongers-san! Ka toogan!"

He hung up and rolled his back again. Sitting down for a moment he smiled at the assembled.

"The deal is done."
Jimmy then said, "Cool. One will do nicely."

Gordon said, "Well, the Houndeyes are normally USD$5,000 per Houndeye, for you, I am making a deal, they're free. How's 50 sound?"

"Sounds perfect! And Tongers are pack animals. Two or three would work best. Thank you. I must sleep or something now!"

Kellin got up excused himself many times and vanished up the stairs quickly.

OOC: You just gave us antlions? Wow. NEW WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION!

"Sounds perfect! And Tongers are pack animals. Two or three would work best. Thank you. I must sleep or something now!"

Kellin got up excused himself many times and vanished up the stairs quickly.

OOC: You just gave us antlions? Wow. NEW WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION!

OOC: As I said, they breed like crazy. Take good care of them, and they will serve you well.....

IC:
Gordon said, "Okay..."

Granny Lew said, "Ah, you made a right choice with this Hannon, he's a Lo fan, but he is rich and a royal....listen, Vicky, I want somebody to continue the family line, and to give the wealth of the Lew line to! This Hannon boy, I'm watching him.....he will be a good suitor."

Vicky said, "Great to hear some positive words on my dating choices, Granny."

Granny said, "What, it's not that you've been making bad choices, I just feel that they don't deserve to inherit the wealth of the Lew line! Our shares of the Zhang-Sakura Consortium, plus our Consolidated Hotel Company, have taken us to the top, and I want it to stay that way!"

Vicky said, "Fine......at least I am not a lesbian."

Granny said, "Yes, thank God, I am not going to give any funds to that fool Fred, my son was always a bad parent."

Gordon said, "I resent that."

Granny said, "Because its true! That damn son was our hope, and you let him become a crackhead who beats up Jews! My friends at the Club, the Steiners, won't talk to me anymore, because your son embraced Fabusism!"

Gordon rolled his eyes and said, "Mom....."

Granny said, "Nevermind that, Vicky, you should check up on your boy."

Vicky said, "Uh, okay."

She then ran after Kellin, searching for him, wondering why he did what he did.

Kellin as a Camel Eaters citizen had always been a little paranoid so he'd always been able to listen to a whisper from across a very crowded room.

He didn't know any Chinese so Lo fan sent him reeling. He moved a little into the shadows tracking someone's footfalls as they approached him.

His cheeks flustered with a strange dark red. He moved in the shadows easily crouching low and moving quickly forward. Standing and sliding he eased behind the person who was stalking him.

He brought in some air grabbing the scent of the person in front of him. He recognized that scent. Flashbacks to earlier that day burying his head in some very good friend's cleavage.

He smirked and tapped her on the shoulder. "Vicky? What are ye doing here?"

Kellin as a Camel Eaters citizen had always been a little paranoid so he'd always been able to listen to a whisper from across a very crowded room.

He didn't know any Chinese so Lo fan sent him reeling. He moved a little into the shadows tracking someone's footfalls as they approached him.

His cheeks flustered with a strange dark red. He moved in the shadows easily crouching low and moving quickly forward. Standing and sliding he eased behind the person who was stalking him.

He brought in some air grabbing the scent of the person in front of him. He recognized that scent. Flashbacks to earlier that day burying his head in some very good friend's cleavage.

He smirked and tapped her on the shoulder. "Vicky? What are ye doing here?"

Vicky yelped and said, "I was looking for you...you got me, why'd you run off?"

"Sleep. I needed sleep. Or something. I'd probably do something before I slept. Hmm. What was your grandmother talkin' about?"

"Sleep. I needed sleep. Or something. I'd probably do something before I slept. Hmm. What was your grandmother talkin' about?"

Vicky said, "Well, Granny is the head of the Consolidated Hotels Company, the South China Cable Company, the Lew Brothers Office Supplies Company and a member of the Board of Directors of the Zhang-Sakura Consortium."

"I am the heiress to a vast fortune........and Granny, as a result, is a little concerned over who I marry. She wants somebody to hand the money to when she dies, and it sure as hell is not going to Freddy boy. Personally, she likes you, Dad and her do not get along. She was talking about those things, mainly. That and how Dad is a bad, well, Dad."

"Your gram scares me. Hey wanna' mate?"

Vicky could obviously smell the drink on him as he raised both eyebrows and stumble a bit.

"Your gram scares me. Hey wanna' mate?"

Vicky could obviously smell the drink on him as he raised both eyebrows and stumble a bit.

Vicky looked at him oddly and said, "Well, I think you need to sit down first, maybe have some coffee, and let that liver of yours soak up that alcohol. Then, we can have our little bit of fun."

She directed him to the Study, where she put him in a very comfy chair, and then got a servant to get some coffee.

"Is not alcohol! My poison glands....they went crazy!"

He stumbled into the chair passing out quickly as his body went limp. He rolled and thrashed in the chair a bit.

He kept saying something about a cat..

"Is not alcohol! My poison glands....they went crazy!"

He stumbled into the chair passing out quickly as his body went limp. He rolled and thrashed in the chair a bit.

He kept saying something about a cat..

Vicky said, "Fuck...."

She then said, "I'm calling the hospital." Picking up the phone, she dialed the emergency number and said, "Hello, emergency, this is Victoria Lew....come to the Preisdent's House, I have a sick man here.....he is from Camel Eaters........he passed out, and his is twitching wildly......you'll be coming soon? Thanks."

She then hung up, and called for Gordon. He came in and said, "Holy shit! Call 911!"

Vicky said, "Well, I did, they said they'd be coming soon, five minutes, tops."

Gordon said, "Damn, damn, damn....."

Five minutes later, the EMTs were driving like Hell, taking Kellin to Gordon Freeman Memorial Hospital.

They drove into the loading dock, and within five minutes, the doctors had him in the Emergency Room. They soon began administering CPR and using a defribrillator to try and bring him to life, and they prepped intelligent nanite anti-toxins, and began injecting them in via an IV, hopefully this would get things calmed down.

All of this was attended by a doctor that mysteriously looked like George Clooney.

Kellin opened one bloodshot eye and sniffed the air for a moment. He sat up quickly accidentally smacking a man in the face as he did so. Spreading his arms and yawning he said.

"That's one hell of a power nap." Sliding off the table he looked around again.

"Why in the hells am I here?"

Kellin opened one bloodshot eye and sniffed the air for a moment. He sat up quickly accidentally smacking a man in the face as he did so. Spreading his arms and yawning he said.

"That's one hell of a power nap." Sliding off the table he looked around again.

"Why in the hells am I here?"


The man who looked like George Clooney said it best when he said, "Son, your poison glands went into overdrive, and this little lady here called 911. We managed to get the swelling down and the levels of toxin within normal levels for a Camel Eaters citizen, you'll be out in a few hours."

He then said, "Just to let you know, she's paying for the operation."

Kellin blinked once.

"You do realize that it's normal for poison glands to go into overdrive during extended periods of stress? It makes us toxic and then acts as a super catalyst for adrenaline. But if you have any alcohol in you at the time then you get all weird. I mean after the purge that my body will be undergoing in several minutes I'll be able to lift a car with no problem."

He nodded at Vicky and smiled mouthing thank you as he cracked his neck once more.

OOC: ADVERTISEMENT!!!!!!! http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=395029

It's good. Kind of..........at least original.

Kellin blinked once.

"You do realize that it's normal for poison glands to go into overdrive during extended periods of stress? It makes us toxic and then acts as a super catalyst for adrenaline. But if you have any alcohol in you at the time then you get all weird. I mean after the purge that my body will be undergoing in several minutes I'll be able to lift a car with no problem."

He nodded at Vicky and smiled mouthing thank you as he cracked his neck once more.

OOC: ADVERTISEMENT!!!!!!! http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=395029

It's good. Kind of..........at least original.

The doctor said "Wow."

Then, turning to his medical staff, yelled, "Why didn't anybody tell me about this!? Damnit!! Those nanites aren't going to break down for another six hours!!"

He then turned to Kellin and produced a very thick stack of USD$100 bills. "Kid, you're not going to sue me for malpractice, are you? Those nanites'll break down, everything'll be hunky-dory in a few......Here's some motivation not to."

He shoved the bills in his hand, smiling desperately.

This is some bloody funny shit!

Kellin looked at the bills. Sniffed them for a moment. And then punched the doctor in the face. Standing up he followed the smell traveling down the hall and upwards to a sick ward. His eyes galzed over as his hunting instincts took over.

He also ran into a steel door. Which knocked him out.

bumpAGE!

A few minutes later, Dr. Clooney had Kellin back in bed with a cold pack and some bandages on his head, and restraints to keep him from doing anything else.....odd.

He then said, "Nurse, keep a cold pack on him, watch him, I do not, repeat, do not want him to go bonkers.....this kid is freakin' me out."

He then said to the very pretty nurse, "I'm going to get some chow."

The Nurse then said, "Yes, Doctor."

Dr. Clooney left, sure enough, and the Nurse sat by him, changing his bandages and getting him a new cold pack every so often.

Kellin was in heaven. Some random asian nurse was watching over him and his libido was raging. With a drug addled and now an erection addled mind he assumed only one thing would happen next.

He felt all warm and fuzzy inside as he mated with the bedsheets. Then he woke up. Turning he snapped his eyes open and snarled as he writhed quickly claws flaring he ripped at his bonds. Venom spat from his mouth as he screamed and then went completely toxic as sweat poured the alcohol from his body. His lungs burned with the effort for a moment as he snapped his bonds easily and sat up.

Turning to the nurse he said. "Hey bonny! Can I get some water? And a banana."

Kellin was in heaven. Some random asian nurse was watching over him and his libido was raging. With a drug addled and now an erection addled mind he assumed only one thing would happen next.

He felt all warm and fuzzy inside as he mated with the bedsheets. Then he woke up. Turning he snapped his eyes open and snarled as he writhed quickly claws flaring he ripped at his bonds. Venom spat from his mouth as he screamed and then went completely toxic as sweat poured the alcohol from his body. His lungs burned with the effort for a moment as he snapped his bonds easily and sat up.

Turning to the nurse he said. "Hey bonny! Can I get some water? And a banana."

The Nurse said, "DOCTOR CLOONEY!!!!"

The Doctor, walking in with a cup of Ramen Noodles said, "Wha-oh, shit," noticing the fact that Kellin had broken out of his restraints. He was clearly not amused, and a tad scared.

The Doctor said, "Nurse Kamiya, what did he say to you?"

Kamiya said, "Well, he wanted a glass of water and a banana."

Dr. Clooney, nervously, then said, "Then f**king get it!"

Shre then ran to the kitchen to fetch the items, and came back wheeling a tray with a banana and a glass of water on it.

Dr. Clooney said, "Call that girlfirend of his, maybe she can calm him down."

Nurse Kamiya said, "Yes, sir."

She left running, and five minutes later, she arrived with Vicky in tow. Vicky said to Kellin, "Are you okay?"

Kellin looked at Vicky. Then remembered something about bedsheets. He shook his head and smirked.

"Oh yeah I'm good. In more ways than one."

Dashing quickly he grabbed her and ran out the hospital door. His tongue hanging from his mouth as he ran like the wind. Dragging her for a moment before nimbly pulling her into his arms and dashing out of the hospital and staring for a moment at passing traffic before slamming his fist through the metal of a passing truck and holding onto the inside of it.

Holding on he moved his feet up with Vicky in his arms.

"That place sucked Vicky. Why the hell did we go there?"

Vicky said, sorrowfully, "Well, I didn't know about those poison glands......and what they're really supposed to do. Guess I'll have to make it up to you, sorry."

She then said, "Why don't we go to the country, and hunt?"

Kellin dropped easily from the truck running out of the street and onto the nearest sidewalk. Putting Vicky down quickly he cracked his neck and smiled once more.

"So? Where is this countryside you speak of? What is there to hunt?"

He paced for a moment and then paused as if remembering something.

"Oh yeah.............we'll have to wait until tomorrow to hunt. If I go toxic any more tonight I might go into a coma for a few days."

Kellin dropped easily from the truck running out of the street and onto the nearest sidewalk. Putting Vicky down quickly he cracked his neck and smiled once more.

"So? Where is this countryside you speak of? What is there to hunt?"

He paced for a moment and then paused as if remembering something.

"Oh yeah.............we'll have to wait until tomorrow to hunt. If I go toxic any more tonight I might go into a coma for a few days."

Vicky smiled and said, "But of course, dear."

She then thought, smiled and said, "I think we can go to Hunan Province, I hear they've got lots spicy food and Antlions to hunt."

Then, she hailed a taxi.

Kellin got a phone call. Pulling out his cell phone he spoke quickly. Turning back to Vicky he smirked and got into the cab. He leaned in and whispered.

"Guess what? I'm the ambassador to Upper Xen now."

He pulled back grinning smugly as he spoke in broken Mandarin.

"To Hunnan bitch!"

Kellin got a phone call. Pulling out his cell phone he spoke quickly. Turning back to Vicky he smirked and got into the cab. He leaned in and whispered.

"Guess what? I'm the ambassador to Upper Xen now."

He pulled back grinning smugly as he spoke in broken Mandarin.

"To Hunnan bitch!"

The Hong Kong cabby looked at him funny, and said to him in no uncertain terms in Boston-accented English:

"Very funny, you expect me to drive almost 10 hours to some faraway place, when my route covers Central? Kid, I'll get you to the bus station, but then, you're on your own!"

He then drove them, sure enough, to the Sunshine Bus Lines station at Central, where he dropped them off, and then asked them for:

"18 Xenthalers please."

Kellin searched through his pockets for a moment. He found nothing.

"How about a night in the royal harems instead? Let me get yer name and I'll put it up on the let in list."

Kellin searched through his pockets for a moment. He found nothing.

"How about a night in the royal harems instead? Let me get yer name and I'll put it up on the let in list."

The driver thought, and said, "Kid, did you say harems? I am kinda stuck in an Andy Capp kinda thing, the wife is getting on my nerves! I'm with ya......but on one condition."

He then said, "You're going to Hunan, right? Get me some of that Hunan chili sauce.....and I don't mean the stuff you put on your noodles."

He handed them the portfolio to a dating service to Vicky, who opened it to revealed a gussied up version of the man driving the cab. "Try to find me a girl in Hunan, I'll be divorcing the wife anyway, you do this, I'll carry you for free....."

He then smiled. "For life."

Kellin looked at the man oddly. "You're pathetic man. God's sakes find yer own woman. Know what? You don't deserve a woman. Yer evil! But if you'll drive us for free........"

Kellin snatched the brochure and then apologized for snatching it from her hands.

Kellin looked at the man oddly. "You're pathetic man. God's sakes find yer own woman. Know what? You don't deserve a woman. Yer evil! But if you'll drive us for free........"

Kellin snatched the brochure and then apologized for snatching it from her hands.

The driver said, "You know what? Maybe I will drive you to Hunan myself. You're on, buddy."

Vicky then said, "Hold on."

Vicky then produced a cell phone out of her purse, and called the President's House.

"Hey Dad, its Vicky.....yeah Kellin's fine.....no, that is normal. We need the Martini-Henry, the King Cobra, and the Springfield, and probably the Crossbow. We're going hunting."

Then, she said, "Yes it is sudden, but I have cash, and we need to get away for a bit....Granny, is that you? Granny...ew. Please let that be the end of your speech. Fine. Sorry......'Kay, bye."

Vicky turned to Kellin and said, "Dad says to pick up the guns at the House, and then we go."

Vicky then turned to the driver and said, "You know where the President's House is, right?"

The driver smiled and said, "Babe, who doesn't? I'll get you there, in a jiffy."

He then drove as quickly as he could, evidently, he was a veteran at navigating the maze of streets and the epic traffic game that was Hong Kong at Rush Hour.

Kellin smirked and slid a knife out a bit. He winked at Vicky and nodded at the driver.

"So when do we hunt? And waht is a Martini-Henry?"

Kellin smirked and slid a knife out a bit. He winked at Vicky and nodded at the driver.

"So when do we hunt? And waht is a Martini-Henry?"

Vicky smiled.

"The Martini-Henry was the standard rifle of the British Empire in the 1870's to the early to mid 1880's. It fired a .455 caliber round, a metallic cartridge, and it was a single-shot lever-action rifle. The rifle of Empire, it did handily versus the Zulus in Africa, and it served Britain well."

She then said, "We have a fully working original model from 1881. Dad has a Martini-Enfield, which is a Martini-Henry converted to .303 caliber, like in the Lee-Enfield Mk III."

She then said, "As for the hunt, we have to get some stuff first, and and then we go to Hunan, takes about 10 hours."

Kellin shuddered in ecstasy at the fact that a gun nut was his girlfriend. He thought for a moment.

"Mind if I grab some stuff from CE? They'd be able to get here and back no prob. Hmm.............some hand cannons, chain guns, Toxin secretion break down range. Yeah I can call all these in. OH AND CHECK THIS OUT!"

He pulled out a huge file filled with information on glands, phereomones, and antlions.

"I sent some stuff back last night and they sent me this."

He pulled forth a long tube filled with a strange liquid.

"Yep, this'll form a gland in yer body that will allow you to control Antlions. It cost quite a lot to get made in such a short time."

Kellin shuddered in ecstasy at the fact that a gun nut was his girlfriend. He thought for a moment.

"Mind if I grab some stuff from CE? They'd be able to get here and back no prob. Hmm.............some hand cannons, chain guns, Toxin secretion break down range. Yeah I can call all these in. OH AND CHECK THIS OUT!"

He pulled out a huge file filled with information on glands, phereomones, and antlions.

"I sent some stuff back last night and they sent me this."

He pulled forth a long tube filled with a strange liquid.

"Yep, this'll form a gland in yer body that will allow you to control Antlions. It cost quite a lot to get made in such a short time."

Vicky said, "Cool.....I'd like to see what kinda hardware you've got."

Looking at the tube, she then said, "As for that, do I drink it or will it require a painful injection?"

"Painful injection!"

"Painful injection!"

Vicky said, "Well, there is a price for everything. Got a needle?"

Kellin smirked and pulled a knife from his pocket stabbing Vicky's arm quickly and pressing the liquid into the tiny wound.

Kellin smirked and pulled a knife from his pocket stabbing Vicky's arm quickly and pressing the liquid into the tiny wound.

Vicky winced, but she took the liquid amazingly well.

Then, she began feeling a little woozy, and then, suddenly, she stumbled about for a bit, and then said, "WoW! That was cool."

She then says, "You know, I never felt more alive..."

Kellin looked at the liquid in horror. He then pulled out another vial glancing that one over as well. His face went white with horror.

"I just gave you the toxin that my glands produce......................"

He coughed once or twice.

"Umm. We should probably get out of the cab."

Kellin looked at the liquid in horror. He then pulled out another vial glancing that one over as well. His face went white with horror.

"I just gave you the toxin that my glands produce......................"

He coughed once or twice.

"Umm. We should probably get out of the cab."

Vicky went, "WHAT!?!?"

She then grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and said, "You gave me poison? Shit! How powerful is this stuff!?"

She then spaced out, and then said, "I've got Grace Slick singing 'White Rabbit' in my head.......woah........."

She then started getting woozy, and began mumbling the lyrics, sure enough, to Jefferson Airplane's "White Rabbit:"

One pill makes you larger
And one pill makes you small,
And the ones that mother gives you
Don't do anything at all.
Go ask Alice
When she's ten feet tall.

"Well.........let me see. It can take down a rhino. Umm. We need to get you to a hospital before your temperature rises. And then the purges begin. Then.......well the last part is the good part. Hehe. CABBY TO THE HOSPITAL BEFORE I SHOOT YOU IN THE HEAD!"

Kellin pulled out a gun to emphasize this point.

OOC: The stages are these. The bodies temperature rises to displace the toxins after a time. The toxin causes the body's immune system to kick in and create a massive purge of all bodily systems of any impurities. Then the toxin after being broken down to a point mixes into the adrenal glands and creates a super-human for a few hours.

"Well.........let me see. It can take down a rhino. Umm. We need to get you to a hospital before your temperature rises. And then the purges begin. Then.......well the last part is the good part. Hehe. CABBY TO THE HOSPITAL BEFORE I SHOOT YOU IN THE HEAD!"

Kellin pulled out a gun to emphasize this point.

OOC: The stages are these. The bodies temperature rises to displace the toxins after a time. The toxin causes the body's immune system to kick in and create a massive purge of all bodily systems of any impurities. Then the toxin after being broken down to a point mixes into the adrenal glands and creates a super-human for a few hours.

OOC: Nice, I still think it is a bit off-kilter to see her sing Jefferson Airplane.

IC:

Vicky then said, "Jesus, is it f**kin warm in here or is it me?"

The cabbie then said, "Jesus!"

He then hit the accelerator, and proceeded to drive in a manner reserved for many games involving vehicular destruction, going on the sidewalk at 55 mph, zigzaggin, doing U-turns, he drove like mad.

Vicky then said, "Hey, Kellin..........you mind getting me soem water, seriously......."

Kellin nodded to himself for a moment and produced a tiny bottle of Gatorade.

"Drink this it's better for you."

Kellin nodded to himself for a moment and produced a tiny bottle of Gatorade.

"Drink this it's better for you."

Vicky took the bottle of Gatorade and drank it down. She then licked her lips and said, "Damn that's good."

She then started going into seizures, and began cussing repeatedly. One thing that could be recognized was that she said, "Something's happening, fix it, *!**@#$*@&$#(!"

She then collapsed, and began twitching wildly. The cab soon amde it into the hospital, just in time.

Kellin looked at the seizure for a moment.

"Damn that's new. Must be some sort of evolutionary trait among these people that they go limp before soiling themselves. Ah well."

Kellin grabbed her around the waist and picked her up running into the hospital at a breakneck speed.

"I'll need some salt, raw poultry, and several gallons of gatorade. Then I'll need some things to strap her down with as well."

He set her down on a mat and motioned for the things he'd asked for.

Kellin looked at the seizure for a moment.

"Damn that's new. Must be some sort of evolutionary trait among these people that they go limp before soiling themselves. Ah well."

Kellin grabbed her around the waist and picked her up running into the hospital at a breakneck speed.

"I'll need some salt, raw poultry, and several gallons of gatorade. Then I'll need some things to strap her down with as well."

He set her down on a mat and motioned for the things he'd asked for.

The Nurse said, "Wait.....you're that freakazoid from before! What the f**K are you doing here?!"

Well, it turned out that the Cabbie had taken them to Gordon Freeman Memorial, again......

She then said, "Wait, nevermind, Staff, get some salt, some raw poultry, and several gallons of gatorade! NOW!!!"

The Medical staff got the stuff, and in about five minutes, brought it to Kellin.

Doctor Clooney, who had heard that his runaway patient had come back, came to watch the proceedings.

Vicky, meanwhile, had begun to stabilize, but she was feeling very painful, and, she seemed to be able to bend the hospital waiting room chairs simply by squeezing them.
OOC: Wait....I take it the seizures were NOT needed.

OOC: Not really.

IC: He threw the salt onto the raw meat nad then began shoving some down her throat as he poured the Gatorade into her mouth. He cut a small vein in her arm letting a strangely colored and scented blood drain from her arm.

"You see I'm not sure whether or not y'all can survive the level of heat needed to dissapate the toxin in your system."

He let some of the blood drain into a cup before swallowing it and putting it back under to collect a few more drops.

He turned and looked at the doctor. "Hey Clooney how are you?"

OOC: Not really.

IC: He threw the salt onto the raw meat nad then began shoving some down her throat as he poured the Gatorade into her mouth. He cut a small vein in her arm letting a strangely colored and scented blood drain from her arm.

"You see I'm not sure whether or not y'all can survive the level of heat needed to dissapate the toxin in your system."

He let some of the blood drain into a cup before swallowing it and putting it back under to collect a few more drops.

He turned and looked at the doctor. "Hey Clooney how are you?"

Noticing what he did, Clooney said, "Great. How are you? What the f**k did you just do?"

"Drank some human blood and saved her life?"

Kellin made a rather rude gesture rather quickly before baring his fangs at the doctor and screaming as he rushed at him. Venom dripping from his second row of pointed teeth.

"Drank some human blood and saved her life?"

Kellin made a rather rude gesture rather quickly before baring his fangs at the doctor and screaming as he rushed at him. Venom dripping from his second row of pointed teeth.

Dr. Clooney produced a Ruger SP-101 out of a convienent shoulder holster and did a shootdodge, a la Max Payne, and fired at Kellin's legs.

Kellin didn't notice. He'd gone toxic and his vision had gone tunnel. He really wanted to kill the guy in front of him.

Kellin didn't notice. He'd gone toxic and his vision had gone tunnel. He really wanted to kill the guy in front of him.

Clooney cursed, saying "F**king small caliber."

He threw the gun to the side, and pulled out a Colt Commander's LP in .45 Caliber, firing away at Kellin, same as before, shoododgeing and jumping around.

Kellin fell to the floor vomitting as the bullets were pushed from his body rather quickly. Black blood followed in their wake as he stood snarling at the man before him.

Raking sharp claws along a wall slowly he stepped forward and grabbed the gun from the doc's hands and began beating the man with it.

OOC: Check the Virginia Combine thread. Pwease? :p

Kellin fell to the floor vomitting as the bullets were pushed from his body rather quickly. Black blood followed in their wake as he stood snarling at the man before him.

Raking sharp claws along a wall slowly he stepped forward and grabbed the gun from the doc's hands and began beating the man with it.

OOC: Check the Virginia Combine thread. Pwease? :p

Dr. Clooney said, "Jesus! I'm sorry, stop, G*******!"

He barely mustered the eneregy to fight Kellin when a strong hand gripped him. It was Vicky, apparently, she had gotten into the superstrength stage.

She said to Kellin, "Down, boy."

OOC: I can change it if it gets a bit too ahead......as for the VA thread, done and done.

Kellin whirled to face her gently gripping her arm he patted her shoulder and stepped away snarling at the good doctor for a moment as he did so.

"I see you've discovered the super human stage of going toxic. Hehe.......so you feel extra weird or what?"

OOC: Naw is good. WHOO! Party at my house!

OOC: Responding in my RALM guise, working and typing at the same time, and generally unwilling to switch out, due to the extra effort.

IC:

Vicky then said, "Actually, I feel kinda cool. Anybody here got a steel plate and a Sony Handycam? I wanna get this on tape."

The Nurse then produced a steel mess tray, and one of the staff began filming Vicky, as she punched a hole in the tray, amazingly, with no damage to her hands whatsoever.

Then she said, "You got that?"

The staff nodded, and then she turned to Kellin, and then said, "You know, I gotta say, that venom is pretty sweet."

Then, she started sniffing the room. Looking out the window, she said, "Hold on."

The next thing the staff saw, she smashed out of one window, was beating the living crap out of a man who had snatched a lady's purse, gave the lady her purse back, and continued beating him.

She threw the man into the hospital, he smashed the other window on the way in, and he tumbled to the floor.

She then jumped back in, and said, "You f**kin' wanna steal from old, ladies, huh? Feel big, huh?"

The man said, "Leave me alone!"

He ran down the hallway, Vicky following.

OOC: Is cool.

IC: Kellin laughed and remembered what it was like fighting criminals in Camel Eaters. He laughed again and cracked his neck for a moment before sniffing the air for Clooney once more...

OOC: Is cool.

IC: Kellin laughed and remembered what it was like fighting criminals in Camel Eaters. He laughed again and cracked his neck for a moment before sniffing the air for Clooney once more...

Vicky then came back, saying, "My God, that was tough. Criminals never learn."

Then, she said, "Where's Clooney?"

Clooney had ran to a broom closet when nobody was watching. He decided to call for help. Pulling out his cell phone, he dialed a number and said to the person on the other line: "We have a problem."

The voice said, "Indeed, nobody messes with a member of the Evil Council. We will send help."

Clooney nodded, hung up, and then loaded a tranquilizer gun. He conspired to fire the gun at Kellin, hopefully taking him down.......

He then got up, and exited the broom closet, he looked around and moved quietly, hoping to get the drop on him.....

As a Camel Eaters citizen Kellin was naturally somewhat paranoid. This was probably because of the strange creatures that hunted all Camel Eaters ancestors. So only the most paranoid, jumpy, and generally untrusting people survived to reproduce.

Kellin was descended from this. He was mostly very very hard to sneak up on. He heard something that sounded like a man. He heard the dragging step of this person before. Except it was slightly heavier. About 2-18 pounds heavier to be exact.

The doctor had a gun..........or a dog. Maybe a really big log. No. A gun would be more appropiate in this situation.

"I think he might have a gun or a small dog or log or really old cellphone or maybe a tiny pygmie woman he fell in love with."

He said all this to no one in particular.

As a Camel Eaters citizen Kellin was naturally somewhat paranoid. This was probably because of the strange creatures that hunted all Camel Eaters ancestors. So only the most paranoid, jumpy, and generally untrusting people survived to reproduce.

Kellin was descended from this. He was mostly very very hard to sneak up on. He heard something that sounded like a man. He heard the dragging step of this person before. Except it was slightly heavier. About 2-18 pounds heavier to be exact.

The doctor had a gun..........or a dog. Maybe a really big log. No. A gun would be more appropiate in this situation.

"I think he might have a gun or a small dog or log or really old cellphone or maybe a tiny pygmie woman he fell in love with."

He said all this to no one in particular.

Clooney said, "S**t."

He took no chances, firing the darts at Kellin in rapid succession while running at him, ululating. A distinctive ring showed on his finger: An interlocking triad symbol.

Kellin laughed. "You don't understand the first thing about toxicity and heat do you? Your darts are enough of a damper to allow me to go toxic. You see," He pulled out a clipboard putting up a finger to silence the screaming doctor, "because of the bodily temperature required for me to go toxic I can only go toxic a few times a day before my temperature can't keep up anymore to break it down. Though I could still go toxic if need be the venom would stay in my system longer causing me to become sick. However because of the sedative's in those darts my adrenal glands have been activated. As you should know adrenaline clears the blood system of all poisons. Thanks for letting me go toxic so I can kill you."

Kellin smirked and put the board away while growling and launching himself at the walking corspe of doctor Clooney..........

Kellin laughed. "You don't understand the first thing about toxicity and heat do you? Your darts are enough of a damper to allow me to go toxic. You see," He pulled out a clipboard putting up a finger to silence the screaming doctor, "because of the bodily temperature required for me to go toxic I can only go toxic a few times a day before my temperature can't keep up anymore to break it down. Though I could still go toxic if need be the venom would stay in my system longer causing me to become sick. However because of the sedative's in those darts my adrenal glands have been activated. As you should know adrenaline clears the blood system of all poisons. Thanks for letting me go toxic so I can kill you."

Kellin smirked and put the board away while growling and launching himself at the walking corspe of doctor Clooney..........

The Doctor, stepping back, then said, "Help me, Evil Council!"

The "help" arrived in the form of several ninjas that soon came through the hospital windows. They had MAC-10's, Fairbairn-Sykes knives, katanas, and bad attitudes. They then addressed Kellin:

"You, interloper, do not step any further.....this man is under our protection."

"Damnit!"

Kellin walked away secretly slapping one of the ninjas across the face on his way out.

"Damnit!"

Kellin walked away secretly slapping one of the ninjas across the face on his way out.

Clooney said to the ninjas, "Watch him.....the Council needs to know his powers."

The ninjas nodded, and soon began imitating Spiderman, as they began leaping from building to buidling.

Vicky followed him out, and she then said, "What hte heck's going on? ANd what is with this 'Evil Council," anyway?"

Kellin shrugged and thought for a moment on what he had seen so far.

"You are some crazy people. One thing I do ask though. Do you have shotgun lamps?"

He thought this over for a moment and how cool it would be.

Kellin shrugged and thought for a moment on what he had seen so far.

"You are some crazy people. One thing I do ask though. Do you have shotgun lamps?"

He thought this over for a moment and how cool it would be.

Vicky said, "Shotgun lamps? Huh? Now that is crazy...."

As they were walking back to the cab, Vicky then said, "Well, no, why do you ask?"

"I always wanted to shoot someone with a lamp."

"I always wanted to shoot someone with a lamp."

Vicky said, "Very eclectic tastes.......huh."

They then got to the cab, and before getting in, Vicky said, "Say, do you have that Antlion juice, still?"

"Yeah I do. You want some? Hehe soon you'll be almost as strange as a regular Camel Eater!"

"Yeah I do. You want some? Hehe soon you'll be almost as strange as a regular Camel Eater!"

Vicky said, "Meh, I'm used to that. I was regarded as the weird one."

She then said, as they got in the cab, "Wanna do the injection at my place? That way, we can get some stuff done there as well, mainly, get our guns."

She then said, sliding inside the taxi, "Wow, we're late...let's go."

"Hehe. Sure why not? I just hope we don't have to kill any more innocent cab drivers tonight. Or have those crazy RALMers on our ass again."

Kellin looked at the cab driver and then shut up.

"Hehe. Sure why not? I just hope we don't have to kill any more innocent cab drivers tonight. Or have those crazy RALMers on our ass again."

Kellin looked at the cab driver and then shut up.

The cabbie said nothing, but looked very worried. Still, he drove them home, relatively event-free.

When they got there, Vicky got out, and saw Gordon waiting. He then said, "Well its about time....where were you guys? I was gonna call the police!"

Vicky then said, "Well, we were out and about.......Kellin's okay, apprently, his body naturally makes poison, gives him uberstrength. I learned that firsthand."

Gordon's anger turned to curiosity. He looked at Kellin and then said, "Son, is this true? You guys secrete poison? And it gives you superpowers?"

Kellin laughed and nodded swiftly his face somewhat blackened as he approached President Gordon.

"Not really superpowers per se. Just excessive strength, speed, endurance, pain tolerance, and the ability to heal really, really quickly. Though if we do it to many times in one day or night we go into a coma for a few days. Though our bodies stay nice and toxic for most of that time."

Kellin laughed and nodded swiftly his face somewhat blackened as he approached President Gordon.

"Not really superpowers per se. Just excessive strength, speed, endurance, pain tolerance, and the ability to heal really, really quickly. Though if we do it to many times in one day or night we go into a coma for a few days. Though our bodies stay nice and toxic for most of that time."

Gordon smiled and said, "Kellin, you're really something."

He then said, "Come on you two, come inside, we have your tools of destruction ready."

He then motioned for them to follow him into the President's House.

"Thanks sir though could I borrow some pliers? I have a few bullets left in me stomach."

"Thanks sir though could I borrow some pliers? I have a few bullets left in me stomach."

As they walked in, Gordon found a pair of pliers and gave them to Kellin.

"Here you go."

Kellin stabbed himself repeatedly in the stomach. Twisting the pliers he pulled each bullet out and let them fall to the floor.

"Well let's go inside, eh?"

Kellin stabbed himself repeatedly in the stomach. Twisting the pliers he pulled each bullet out and let them fall to the floor.

"Well let's go inside, eh?"

Gordon said, "Yup."

They went inside, there was a collection of firearms wiating for them. Sure enough, the promised Martini-Henry, King Cobra, Springfield, and the Crossbow, a 50lb model from Sears, sat in the room in neat cases.

Gordon said, "Now-"

Vicky said, "I know, these are tools of destruction, they can kill, you had a guy play with one of these and he killed himself. I got it. Always treat them like they're loaded."

Gordon said, "Well, besides the attitude, nice job. Anyway, remember that stuff."

He then picked up the Springfield and took it out of its case. It was a nice rifle, in good condition.

He then said, "Ain't she a beaut?" working the action. "She'll take down pretty much anything, save charging Rhinos."

He then picked up a new box, saying, "But that is why I got this!"

He opened it up, sure enough, it was a MassPwnage Anti-Lifeform Rifle. Gordon smiled, proud of his new gun, saying, "Bought it today, got it express shipped, even had a dude run in and hand it to me."

He let the two look at the MALR for a bit, while he said, "Damn thing fires a .700cal round. It'll detach your retinas if you're not careful, but I know Vicky, she's not going to go willy nilly. She know's what she's doing."

Kellin stared for a moment his eyes glazing over.

Soon his voice went shrill as he began to bounce like a small child.

"Me wanty!"

Gordon then said, "Easy there, here, take a look."

He handed Kellin the rifle, it was a bolt action that was heavy and quite large.

He then said, "So, me boy, how do you like it?"

"I don't know I haven't shot it yet."

Kellin began turning the gun in his hands before hoisting it to his shoulder and looking around through the scope.

"Where's something to shoot?"

Gordon said, "Well, unless you wanna go to Quarry Bay.....we probably don't have anything to shoot here..."

Gordon then got an evil smile. "...unless you wanna shoot up Fred's Hentai disks, which are pirated copies anyway. There's a good many of em out front, I'll have the staff get them into the clay dispenser."

Kellin smirked and pumped an imiginary shotgun in the air.

"Hells yeah."

Gordon then said, "Kickass."

He then set up the clay dispenser, and loaded it full of hentai. Readying it, he called to Kellin, "Okay, me boy, load the guns and let's have some of the old ultraviolence."

Kellin grinned widely and grabbed a gun loading it quickly he licked his lips and aimed into the sky.

"Let's shoot us some virgin raping tentacle monsters on paper that I like to look at so much..............scratch that last part."

Kellin grinned widely and grabbed a gun loading it quickly he licked his lips and aimed into the sky.

"Let's shoot us some virgin raping tentacle monsters on paper that I like to look at so much..............scratch that last part."

Gordon said, smiling, "What statement about hentai?"

He then pulled back the clay shooter, and screamed: "PULL!" as he let the "clays" loose into the sky.