NationStates Jolt Archive

The People's Republic Imperial Palace:

The Great Leader Li checked his files and messages. Hmm... nothing today.
Well, except maybe... Ah... The Pwnage navy wanted to move the Pacific fleet to the Gulf of Mexico.

Unfortunately, that meant that whatever nation in the Gulf

But the Great Leader wouldn't let his navy get behind schedule. Nope.
Time to use the ancient and time-honored Pwnage art of blackmail.

Cancun, Mexico:

Yin Wai-Tong, the Xenizen ambassador to Mexico, sat besides the hotel pool, next to his secretary Haruko Tsujimoto. This was a nice place to spend his off hours. A waiter, a young Asian man by the looks of it, brought a couple of margaritas to them. Life was good. And Haruko was definitely better than Yin's wife. That's according to a narrator's brain scan. Haruko was so young... so pretty.... And what's more, she adored Yin.

Yin thought life was good, especially after they went back up to their hotel suite and fucked (for the 4th time that day too).

Meanwhile.... there was a little something Yin DIDN'T know.
The waiter was a Hidden Eye agent. He had dropped nano-cams on both Yin and Haruko....

The People's Republic Imperial Palace:

The Great Leader Li checked his files and messages. Hmm... nothing today.
Well, except maybe... Ah... The Pwnage navy wanted to move the Pacific fleet to the Gulf of Mexico.

Unfortunately, that meant that whatever nation in the Gulf

But the Great Leader wouldn't let his navy get behind schedule. Nope.
Time to use the ancient and time-honored Pwnage art of blackmail.

Cancun, Mexico:

Yin Wai-Tong, the Xenizen ambassador to Mexico, sat besides the hotel pool, next to his secretary Haruko Tsujimoto. This was a nice place to spend his off hours. A waiter, a young Asian man by the looks of it, brought a couple of margaritas to them. Life was good. And Haruko was definitely better than Yin's wife. That's according to a narrator's brain scan. Haruko was so young... so pretty.... And what's more, she adored Yin.

Yin thought life was good, especially after they went back up to their hotel suite and fucked (for the 4th time that day too).

Meanwhile.... there was a little something Yin DIDN'T know.
The waiter was a Hidden Eye agent. He had dropped nano-cams on both Yin and Haruko....

As they were being watched, Yin and Haruko were generally making whoopee, and doing things I can't mention here.

After they were done enjoying themselves, Yin got up, stretched out, and used the toilet.

He then said, "Babe, you are the best......give Daddy some sugar."

Haruko said, seductively and in a purring manner, "Mmm...hold on, babe.."

She then downed her fifteth can of Red Bull, and threw it on the floor. Then, she proceeded to put on a Joe Walsh record, and they went at it again....

OOC: Your cue, MP.

The Pwnage agent, the waiter from earlier slipped in from the level and entered through the balcony door, catching Haruko dead on with Yin's dick in her mouth.

"Shame Ms. Tsujimoto, you do realize that if Mr. Yin's wife were to see this sight, her feelings would be badly hurt."

"Meanwhile, I hate keeping this thing coiled up all day, so I'll let it loose."

The agent's 9 foot long tail (flesh toned, as he's half human) came loose from his shirt and slapped both Haruko and Yin to the nearest wall, pinning them by their arms in a standing position.

"The People's Republic of MassPwnage would like to negotiate with the Republic of Upper Xen."

The Pwnage agent, the waiter from earlier slipped in from the level and entered through the balcony door, catching Haruko dead on with Yin's dick in her mouth.

"Shame Ms. Tsujimoto, you do realize that if Mr. Yin's wife were to see this sight, her feelings would be badly hurt."

"Meanwhile, I hate keeping this thing coiled up all day, so I'll let it loose."

The agent's 9 foot long tail (flesh toned, as he's half human) came loose from his shirt and slapped both Haruko and Yin to the nearest wall, pinning them by their arms in a standing position.

"The People's Republic of MassPwnage would like to negotiate with the Republic of Upper Xen."

Yin said, "You slimy motherf**ker. Didn't anybody tell you that voyeurism is a felony, even here in Mexico?"

Haruko then said, "Nevermind that, you're married!?"

She then screamed at Yin. "Scumbag!.....I should've known there was something up with you.....men with money are usually married."

"Yes, yes Ms. Tsujimoto, they usually are. To use an analogy, (ooc: from the movie Phone Booth) his wife is like a home, and you're like a fancy hotel."

"Now Mr. Yin, I hope you don't mind, I'd like to show Ms. Tsujimoto a few pictures of your family before we go on. I apologize for breaking into your house though."

Another agent, walked in with a load of photo albums and began pulling out the photos one by one and showing them to Haruko.

"Now, I can understand why you like fucking Ms. Tsujimoto, Mr. Yin. Your wife is one UGLY bitch."

"And of course, judging by the pictures, Ms. Tsujimoto, how many children do you think Mr. Yin has?"

"Yes, yes Ms. Tsujimoto, they usually are. To use an analogy, (ooc: from the movie Phone Booth) his wife is like a home, and you're like a fancy hotel."

"Now Mr. Yin, I hope you don't mind, I'd like to show Ms. Tsujimoto a few pictures of your family before we go on. I apologize for breaking into your house though."

Another agent, walked in with a load of photo albums and began pulling out the photos one by one and showing them to Haruko.

"Now, I can understand why you like fucking Ms. Tsujimoto, Mr. Yin. Your wife is one UGLY bitch."

"And of course, judging by the pictures, Ms. Tsujimoto, how many children do you think Mr. Yin has?"

Yin went red with rage at that statement. "F**k you, my wife may be getting old, and her performance in the sack may be getting subpar, but she is a good mother."

Haruko went, "Then why the f**k did we do all those S&M games, huh!? Why did we have hours of wonderful sex!? TELL ME, YOU C********KER!"

She then went red and said, "Excuse me, I think she has three..."

She then smiled evilly. "....if I win, I want some salt to shake into this woksuckers' eye."

OOC: Common insult from Japanese to Chinese in UX, part of that old sectional insults tradition.

"3? You are a perceptive woman. All the photos show 2, because he Photoshopped his son George out of all of these, and burned the ones of him alone. Guess why..."

"And, I'll be sure to inform your wife, Mr. Yin that you don't value her services in bed."

"3? You are a perceptive woman. All the photos show 2, because he Photoshopped his son George out of all of these, and burned the ones of him alone. Guess why..."

"And, I'll be sure to inform your wife, Mr. Yin that you don't value her services in bed."

Yin said, "Oh please, no. She's already f****king with me and threatening to walk out with the kids......and she's taking my National Health checks. Bitch. I'll do anything. Don't tell her!"

He then started weeping, "I've got kids! Two very smart and athletic kids! One's a baseball champ, the other won the National Geographic Bee.......for the love of God, stop!"

Harukp guessed, "Wait...the man said you had a third kid......"

She smiled evilly. "He must have been gay, wasn't he? Queer as a three-Xenthaler bill!"

The Pwnage agent nodded.

"That's correct. So he disowned him."

"Anyway.... We've contacted George. He seems very interested in this situation."

Somewhere else:

George Yin was having lunch at some cafe outside his office.

Oooh. The guy that just sat 2 tables away looked cute... (Pwnage agent).

The Agent got up and walked over to George.

"Sir, could you please follow me."

"Sure. Handsome."

The Agent almost groaned, but for duty's sake, he kept it in.

The Pwnage agent nodded.

"That's correct. So he disowned him."

"Anyway.... We've contacted George. He seems very interested in this situation."

Somewhere else:

George Yin was having lunch at some cafe outside his office.

Oooh. The guy that just sat 2 tables away looked cute... (Pwnage agent).

The Agent got up and walked over to George.

"Sir, could you please follow me."

"Sure. Handsome."

The Agent almost groaned, but for duty's sake, he kept it in.

George followed the Agent, keeping quiet and thinking about his date with his buddy Roger....that is, if he'd get there in time, it seemed as if this man had something to talk about.

He shuddered. Was it Clarion!? His boss hated gay guys, he always tried to find some reason to fire them, he usually found good ones.....

Still, he kept it to himself, as he followed the Agent.

-----------------------------

Yin grew furious at that.

"So what?!? The little fairy deserved it! He was f**king one of his friends in the ass, he did that many times against my will, he was also filling his room with gay comics, what was I supposed to do!? Such perversion cannot happen in my household! That wife of mine, she turned him into a gay boy...."

Haruko said, "F**k you, you probably did it."

Yin said, "If I wasn't pinned to the wall, I would rip out your eyes and screw you skill-first to death!"

Haruko said, "You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

Yin spat on her, and then turned to the Agent.

"Fine, you wanna talk, let's. The f**k you wanna use Mexico for?"

"We need to base MassPwnage's Pacific fleet in Mexican Waters. Against the will of your President, and without your President hearing a word of this. You will arrange for the fleet to be supplied as well, although we will pay for what we take."

Somewhere Else:

"Oh, about that boss of yours..."

2 Pwnage Skorpion Inquisitors (who just happened to be gay partners) were in Clarion's office kicking the absolute shit out of his homophobic ass. The door was locked, and security was paid off handsomely to do nothing.

"Meanwhile, we wish for you merely to pour salt in your father's eye at a later point. Maybe kick him. Besides, you might want to meet his mistress." The agent handed George a salt shaker and and a cell phone.

"Call Roger, tell him that you have family issues."

"We need to base MassPwnage's Pacific fleet in Mexican Waters. Against the will of your President, and without your President hearing a word of this. You will arrange for the fleet to be supplied as well, although we will pay for what we take."

Somewhere Else:

"Oh, about that boss of yours..."

2 Pwnage Skorpion Inquisitors (who just happened to be gay partners) were in Clarion's office kicking the absolute shit out of his homophobic ass. The door was locked, and security was paid off handsomely to do nothing.

"Meanwhile, we wish for you merely to pour salt in your father's eye at a later point. Maybe kick him. Besides, you might want to meet his mistress." The agent handed George a salt shaker and and a cell phone.

"Call Roger, tell him that you have family issues."

George frowned. "My dad? I don't have a dad....oh wait, that asshole?"

He called Roger. "Hi, honey. I'll be late, my family has some issues."

Roger was heard to be saying, "No problem, I'll let you take care of it....that's cool."

George hung up and said, "Okay man, I knew it, my dad is a hypocrite. He can love whoever he likes, but when I do my thing, he throws me out. Lemme see, I don't need the salt, I just want to talk."

----------------

Yin said, "Well, you mean my President...Presidente Alvarez might allow this, he is anti-Fabus. I think I can get Presidente Alvarez to allow you to use the Villa Naval Base near Merida and the Cozumel Marine Facility near Cancun.....if he doesn't tell Lew. The bastards are best friends, they hunt and go to Alvaez's ranch in Sonora."

"I'll save the salt shaker then... Meanwhile, we're going to fly you to Mexico... Get in the black Mercedes, the chauffeur inside will drive you to the airport."

ooc: out for the night.

"I'll save the salt shaker then... Meanwhile, we're going to fly you to Mexico... Get in the black Mercedes, the chauffeur inside will drive you to the airport."

ooc: out for the night.

George got in the Mercedes, and sat down. He wondered what he would say as he met his dad....

OOC: Nice, when you get back, Yin Wai-Tong made a response...

"Well, we're going to trust you to keep President Alvarez's mouth shut. You know what the consequences are for not doing so, right?"

Somewhere Else:

The Chauffeur wasn't human. The Chauffeur was much larger than a human, and was green. Scariest thing of all, the Chauffeur had a forked tounge.

"Well, we're going to trust you to keep President Alvarez's mouth shut. You know what the consequences are for not doing so, right?"

Somewhere Else:

The Chauffeur wasn't human. The Chauffeur was much larger than a human, and was green. Scariest thing of all, the Chauffeur had a forked tounge.

George said, "Is that a Lizardman?"

---------------------

Yin said, "Okay.....you and I could say they are on joint exercises with the Mexicans, they are allowed to play against other nations. So, that will be nice...."

Mexico:

"Joint exercises? Ehmmm... that might work, but who will be giving the order? You can say the order came from Gordon's desk, but the President might check up with Gordon."

Somewhere Else:

The Chauffeur nodded.

"Yup. Oh yea, buckle up."

The Chauffeur took off in the car like a Mexican cabbie, flying down the roads at speeds of up to 180 mph.

The Mercedes hurtled into the airport parking lot, around the terminals and onto the runways, where it skidded to a halt near a C80 cargoplane.

The agent looked at the Chauffeur. His look gave the statement. "Did you have to do that?"

The Chauffeur replied "Oh come on, going Mexican cabbie is fun as hell."

The agent rolled his eyes.

"Alright, everybody onto the plane..."

Mexico:

"Joint exercises? Ehmmm... that might work, but who will be giving the order? You can say the order came from Gordon's desk, but the President might check up with Gordon."

Somewhere Else:

The Chauffeur nodded.

"Yup. Oh yea, buckle up."

The Chauffeur took off in the car like a Mexican cabbie, flying down the roads at speeds of up to 180 mph.

The Mercedes hurtled into the airport parking lot, around the terminals and onto the runways, where it skidded to a halt near a C80 cargoplane.

The agent looked at the Chauffeur. His look gave the statement. "Did you have to do that?"

The Chauffeur replied "Oh come on, going Mexican cabbie is fun as hell."

The agent rolled his eyes.

"Alright, everybody onto the plane..."

Yin then smiled and said, "Perhaps we can tell Lew about these joint exercises, and say you're training with the Mexicans in naval and air tactics. He usually takes that pretty well, and let's Alvarez manage things from there. The question is you moving your troops, then, Alvarez can invoke the Mexican Neutrality Acts, and either detain your men or allow them to go free, but also fix up Fabus' shit, too."

------------------------------------------

George got on the plane, and said, "This is a new experence....."

"About Alvarez.... He won't detain our soldiers, otherwise we'll be paying him a small visit in the middle of the night.... just to chat and maybe kill him and his family. You know. I almost thought of visiting you at the embassy, but then I didn't want to kill all those guards of yours."

"About Alvarez.... He won't detain our soldiers, otherwise we'll be paying him a small visit in the middle of the night.... just to chat and maybe kill him and his family. You know. I almost thought of visiting you at the embassy, but then I didn't want to kill all those guards of yours."

Yin said, "You bastards.....you have no morals.....Alvarez will not bow to you, I know it, the man is called the incorruptible for a reason."

"The man is called incorruptible because the public has no idea his Defense Minister takes kickbacks while he calmly turns a blind eye."

"Meanwhile, we trust you can force Alvarez's hand in this matter."

"The man is called incorruptible because the public has no idea his Defense Minister takes kickbacks while he calmly turns a blind eye."

"Meanwhile, we trust you can force Alvarez's hand in this matter."

Yin said, "How the f**k did you know that? Fine, I'll get him to allow you in....unmolested. Happy?"

"Thank you very much, although I can't quite let you go yet... You see, your son George requested a conversation with you. And in order to prevent you from throttling him, I have to keep you restrained like this."

Outside the Hotel:

After the C80 landed, the Chauffeur hijacked someone's new Ferrari Enzo to deliver George to the Hotel.

The Chauffeur pointed up to the top floors of the hotel..

"Your father's in there. Most luxurious suite of course."

"Thank you very much, although I can't quite let you go yet... You see, your son George requested a conversation with you. And in order to prevent you from throttling him, I have to keep you restrained like this."

Outside the Hotel:

After the C80 landed, the Chauffeur hijacked someone's new Ferrari Enzo to deliver George to the Hotel.

The Chauffeur pointed up to the top floors of the hotel..

"Your father's in there. Most luxurious suite of course."

George walked in and said, "Hi, dad."

Yin said, nervously and coldly, "Hello.....I see you want to talk."

George said, "Dad. Why did you throw me out of your life? I am your son too. I may be gay, but Dad, that is what I am."

Yin snapped back. "That is a lie. You are a deviant. Homosexuality is a choice, and frankly it is a bad one. You picked a bad choice, therefore, I kcikced you out to teach you a lesson."

George said, exasperated: "What lesson?! All I got was that you hate gays. All I got was that I am worthless to you-"

Yin said, "Well you are. Unless you get a girl and stop being a deviant, you are not my son."

George said, "Dad, what is wrong with you? Why do you not listen to reason?"

Yin then snapped back: "Don't tell me about reason, boy. You have none. Homosexuality is disgusting. I think it is filthy. And I am ashamed to have raised a gay son. You know what the neighbors were saying? They said I was a bad father. Damnit, I am not. I had to do something."

Yin raised his voice, saying, "And if it meant exiling my own son ,then so be it! I am not afraid to say it! I would do it again! I will not have such disgusting behavior in my house! Why didn't you be liek me, and join the Army, and go work for Uncle Gordon? WHY!? YOU LITTLE FAIRY! YOU SELFISH, LITTLE, A**-LICKING, ANIMAL! YOU DID NOT BENEFIT THIS HOUSEHOLD, YOU ONLY BROUGHT ME PAIN AND SELF-LOATHING! F**K YOU, GOODNIGHT!"

George said, "But-"

Yin said, "I SAID GOOD NIGHT! WHO ARE YOU! I DON'T KNOW YOU!"

George said to one of the Agents, "Can I have that saltshaker now?"

"Oh of course."

The agent handed George a salt shaker.

He then let Haruko free, and handed her a salt shaker too.

"Have fun..."

"Oh of course."

The agent handed George a salt shaker.

He then let Haruko free, and handed her a salt shaker too.

"Have fun..."

George said to Haruko, "Lemme go first."

He then said to Yin, "Dad, this is a corrective measure."

Before he could say anything, Yin got a full shaker of salt in his eyes, George unscrewing the cap first and then applying.

Yin screamed in horror, he could be heard from the lobby. However, the Hotel Manager, who got plenty of people who did worse things, simply did not pay attention.

Haruko then applied the shaker, saying to George, "Wow, you must really hate your Dad."

George said, "Was he?"

Haurko then slapped him, and shook the salt in his eyes, also emptying the full container, yelling, "This-is-what-you-get-you-son-of-a-bi**h!"

She then stepped back, as Yin was yelling and moaning in pain.....the pain was too much for words.

The agents were cackling. One of them poured Red Bull down Yin's mouth.
(Caffiene increases the sensation of pain as it's a stimulant)

After a while, the 2nd agent threw a bucket of cold, cold water in Yin's face.

"Alright, we'll be leaving now, thanks for your cooperation. Oh yea, take these... The vending machines actually accept these. " The first agent threw a packet of 3 Xenenthaler bills on the ground.

The Pwnage agents left via the window.

The agents were cackling. One of them poured Red Bull down Yin's mouth.
(Caffiene increases the sensation of pain as it's a stimulant)

After a while, the 2nd agent threw a bucket of cold, cold water in Yin's face.

"Alright, we'll be leaving now, thanks for your cooperation. Oh yea, take these... The vending machines actually accept these. " The first agent threw a packet of 3 Xenenthaler bills on the ground.

The Pwnage agents left via the window.

Yin was staggering, barely able to see, barely able to move....

He found, in the bathroom as he cleaned up, a stun gun. George grabbed it, and knocked him down.

George said, "Good bye, Mr. Yin. I don't know why you hate me so, but I hate you back."

He shocked him again, and he walked off, throwing the stung gun to Haruko, who used it on his privates.

The neighbors down the hall could hear her scream, "You like that, don't ya!? F**king pig! I'll sue your ass! Either divorce her or leave me alone!"

Yin said, "Okay, okay.......I'll divorce her......she was taking my money.....just stop tasering me!"

Haruko stopped, kissed him and said, "Bai Bai!"

She then dropped the gun, and walked away....leaving Yin to suffer greatly.

The 2nd agent couldn't find his stun gun.

"Hey crap, my stun gun, I can't find it."

The first agent replied.

"It's probably in the hotel room, go back for it."

The agent walked back, and seeing Yin on the ground, took a piece of tape and taped the stun gun in the "fire" position and shoved the thing up Yin's ass as far it would go, then left. He would tell the first agent he lost it.

~~~Meanwhile~~~

The Pwnage Pacific fleet moved into the Gulf of Mexico outside of Cancun.

The fleet was as follows.

1 floating base. 4,000 airplanes+ mobile shipyard/dry dock.
5 SeaDragon class Ubercarriers, 1200 planes each.
5 Zheng He class Uberbattleships.
10 Draconis class missile battleships.
10 Nexus class BattleCarriers, 125 planes each
35 SeaClaw Class Cruisers.
20 SeaSnake class Nuclear subs with 40 SLBMs each.
100 SeaLeopard Class Destroyers.
420 Transport/Supply/Logistics ships.

The 2nd agent couldn't find his stun gun.

"Hey crap, my stun gun, I can't find it."

The first agent replied.

"It's probably in the hotel room, go back for it."

The agent walked back, and seeing Yin on the ground, took a piece of tape and taped the stun gun in the "fire" position and shoved the thing up Yin's ass as far it would go, then left. He would tell the first agent he lost it.

~~~Meanwhile~~~

The Pwnage Pacific fleet moved into the Gulf of Mexico outside of Cancun.

The fleet was as follows.

1 floating base. 4,000 airplanes+ mobile shipyard/dry dock.
5 SeaDragon class Ubercarriers, 1200 planes each.
5 Zheng He class Uberbattleships.
10 Draconis class missile battleships.
10 Nexus class BattleCarriers, 125 planes each
35 SeaClaw Class Cruisers.
20 SeaSnake class Nuclear subs with 40 SLBMs each.
100 SeaLeopard Class Destroyers.
420 Transport/Supply/Logistics ships.

Yin was wincing in pain, that stungun was very painful...

Running on adrenaline, he barely managed to remove it. He then got to a hospital, and spent the night....

The Next Day....

A very battered Yin, still recovering from the events of the Night before, called President Lew, explaining that the Pwnageites wanted to run joint exercises, for the purpose of strategy and tactics.

Lew said, "Okay, Yin, by the way, you sound like you had a rough night."

Yin said, "Don't man, don't......just let them in."

Lew said, "Fine, I wish Benito would tell me these things. F**king hell, let em in, I'll tell Xiang at Villa."

Yin then said "Cool, bye." Clling President Alvarez, he explained that the Pwnagites wanted to go and train with his troops.

President Alvarez then said, "Damn, that would expaluin the mass fleet around my nation. F**ks should've told me first."

Yin said, "Lew says its ok."

Alvarez said, "Fine, if Gordy says its cool, i'll let 'em in. If they do anything....it is your fault."

Yin gulped and said, "Thank you."

Hanging up, he muttered, "I have to get a new job."

ooc: Nice...
Out for the night.