NationStates Jolt Archive

The document previously located here has been destroyed pursuant to an order of the Acting Chairman (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7972359&postcount=58) due to the discovery that it was a fraud and does not constitute an official document of the Federation of Exalted States.

No, go back to the playground...

EWNN Nightly News

Good evening, I'm Chris Woodard.

In today's n00b alert, the Exalted States have declared war on several seemingly random nations, without reason. These nations include The Dictatorship of Suffraly, The Conglomerate of Armacor, The Stabilizing Force of 1 Infinite Loop, The Confederacy of Joshs shorts, and the Armed Republic of Nomopofok. The Ministry of Foreign Affairs has taken the unusual step of banning all Evil Woody Thoughts citizens from traveling to Exalted States, for it expects Exalted States to be glassed shortly. The nations upon which Exalted States declared war have yet to respond.

(OOC: Why are you doing this?)

Josh's Shorts has flown in helicopters to transport many of it's visiting citizens with families at still at home back to the homeland for safety. :sniper: :mp5:

This just in: Exalted states is about to get his rear kicked by 200+ nations.

I think he missed the other 99.99999999 um.. 999.. yeah.. 999 percent of the nations out there...

..999? no... nein nein nein... yeah, that works.. =^^=

The Prime Minister would love to respond, but he is too busy laughing - or trying to control said expulsion of content disbelief.Vasiliou Bandanaris
Agustinate of International Relations

EWNN Nightly News

This just breaking...the Exalted States have declared war against Evil Woody Thoughts. The Psychotic Dictator who rules Exalted States gave no indication as to why, though I can only surmise that it has to do with my mention of Exalted States a few minutes ago. Wow. Never have I reported on a nation so...suicidal.
------------------------------------------------------
*At Prime Minister Woody II's mansion*

Prime Minister Woody II sat watching the evening news, and snickered when he heard of Exalted States' declaration of war. He had never heard of the nation, it surely must not be any threat, and it had basically declared war upon half the world. This was gonna be one short war. He logged on to his computer and looked up Exalted States in the national intelligence database. The following information flashed across the screen:

Government Statistics
Population: 5,000,000
Civil Rights: Few
Economy: Developing
Political Freedoms: Few
Income Tax Rate: 34%
Exchange Rate: 1 Exalted Federal Note = $0.29
Gross Domestic Product Per Capita: $4,972
Total National Production: $24,857,652,173
Private Consumption: $14,902,299,666
Government Budget: $10,821,035,334
Administration (26%): $2,588,391,652
Welfare (12%): $1,194,642,301
Healthcare (12%): $1,194,642,301
Education (12%): $1,194,642,301
Religion and Spirituality (9%): $895,981,726
Defence (9%): $895,981,726
Law and Order (21%): $2,090,624,027
Commerce (0%): $0
Public Transport (0%): $0
Environment (0%): $0
Social Equality (0%): $0
Government Waste (8%): $865,682,827

UN Estimates
Economic Grey Sector: 0%
Grey Sector Product: $0
Grey Sector Breakdown:
Basic Necessities: 0%
Healthcare: 0%
Education: 0%
Transportation: 0%
Luxuries: 0%
Recovered Product: $0
Worker Enthusiasm: 62%
Government Efficiency: 92%
Consumer Confidence: 44%
Unemployment: 19.04%
Population Growth Rate: 117%
Nation Age: 1 Days
Literacy: 100%
National Loyalty (Individual): 26%

Yes. This was gonna be fun. Now, to use those shiny new earthquake-inducing ICBM's, or to actually annex the territory? Prime Minister Woody II would have to decide quickly, and make a policy speech soon.

"Chellis feels left out. Hereby, it declares war on the Exalted states for not declaring war on it. We shall spare no creature. Also, anyone who does any damage to Exalted States, other than us, will be considered an enemy of chellis, and war will be declared."

Kaeya Misho, Foreign Minister of Chellis.

----

Five battlegroups were to be deployed, with four carriers included. A cargo ship was loaded to the brim with Firebombs, while only two marine divisions would accompany the five fleets. Most of the destruction would be done with aircraft.

"Chellis feels left out. Hereby, it declares war on the Exalted states for not declaring war on it. We shall spare no creature. Also, anyone who does any damage to Exalted States, other than us, will be considered an enemy of chellis, and war will be declared."

Kaeya Misho, Foreign Minister of Chellis.

----

Five battlegroups were to be deployed, with four carriers included. A cargo ship was loaded to the brim with Firebombs, while only two marine divisions would accompany the five fleets. Most of the destruction would be done with aircraft.

Prime Minister Woody II wishes to suggest an alliance against this sorry excuse for a nation. Chellis may keep the territory, but we don't want to be completely left out of the damage-dealing. :D

To: Kaeya Misho, Foreign Minister of Chellis

From: Lady Seto Kamiki, Gaian Foreign Advisor

Transmitted message:

"Tally Ho..."

~ End Message NS+172005.1150GLT

"Chellis feels left out. Hereby, it declares war on the Exalted states for not declaring war on it. We shall spare no creature. Also, anyone who does any damage to Exalted States, other than us, will be considered an enemy of chellis, and war will be declared."

Kaeya Misho, Foreign Minister of Chellis.

She's all yours, Foreign Minister Misho. Happy hunting.

Eleftherios Venizelos Jr.
Agustinate of Defence

Prime Minister Woody II wishes to suggest an alliance against this sorry excuse for a nation. Chellis may keep the territory, but we don't want to be completely left out of the damage-dealing. :D

"We will allow any conventional attacks to occur before we land, and coordinated conventional attacks afterward."

Kaeya Misho.

Hahaha... Exalted Nations is gonna get CHEESED*!

Go on, roll yer hoop. If he does *try* to get nasty, Falcania will activate their Godmode Defence Network, and all warships will switch from firing artillery shells to their auxiliary IGNORE cannons.


*It's like being creamed, only it takes a LOT longer.

From the Ministry of Information

EDITED TO REMOVE FALSE INFORMATION

The Ministry of Information has learned of [DELETED] operations in the rogue nation of Joshs Shorts. The [DELETED] are, the Ministry has learned, a group of Exalted citizens residing abroad who sought to independently advance [DELETED DUE TO ITS REFERENCE OF A DOCUMENT DISCOVERED TO BE A HOAX]

The operation in question involved the use of brave tactics by those willing to give their lives for [A HOAX]. The fighters, having having moved abroad many years ago before the appearance of [THE HOAX], managed to obtain massive quantities of simple explosive devices in Joshs Shorts and coordinated the simultaneous boarding of buses, subways and trains during the morning rush hour. When the planned moment struck, the operatives detonated the explosives underneath their clothing and attacked the heart of Joshs Shorts. While it is assumed that some of the [DELETED] fighters' plans did not work out, the devastation appears quite massive and it is presumed that the overwhelming majority of [HOAX FOLLOWERS] were quite successful in their plans to each kill many [FOREIGN] citizens.

Those killed were apparently individuals who cannot be regarded as civilians in any sense because [DELETED]. [DELETED DUE TO REFERENCES TO A CITIZEN OF EXALTED STATES WHO DID NOT EXIST]

Activate the Godmode Defence Network!
Hahaha, we don't take your godmode seriously, n00b

This is a great day for our nation."

If great day means you get yourself pwned in five minutes by the Chellian armies, have a fun time.

Eleftherios Venizelos Jr.
Agustinate of Defence

EDITED TO REMOVE FALSE INFORMATION

The Ministry of Information has learned about a new [HOAX FOLLOWER] operation against the [FOREIGN] nation of Evil Woody Thoughts. At leat twenty operatives, constituting a group a fraction of that in the last [HOAX FOLLOWER] attack, have used precisely the same methods as the [HOAX FOLLOWERS IN] Joshs shorts. It appears that they managed to increase their effectiveness by engaging in their operations in much more densely populated urban transport systems. The extent of their [DAMAGE] is not yet known, but the Ministry of Foreign Affairs informs us that a death toll of several hundred would be rather conservative.

hahahahaha... I cannot believe this. I may even make a movie:

N00B WARS: WHEN GODMODERS UNITE!!!

I think this smiley sums up all our thoughts: :rolleyes:

Well, I'm running out the IGNORE cannons already.

DECLARATION OF WAR

By order of the Chairman of the Federation of Exalted States, the Federation hereby declares that a state of war exists between itself and the following nations:

The Dictatorship of Suffraly, The Conglomerate of Armacor, The Stabilizing Force of 1 Infinite Loop, The Confederacy of Joshs shorts, Armed Republic of Nomopofok, Imatron, Al Hosani, Shaum, Darakjain, Gross Twuelpstedt, Lackland, Rozanna, Chokwen, Zubazz, Shimonee, SlimeLand, Airawan, Shelleys, Red Thunder, West Lancashire, Frohlich, Jestund, Fifien, Markdovia, Marshall0213, Kentiva, Delphi 7, Fulf, Rashawn, Greenslime, Anime-Otakus, Baltzatu, Mazuko, Celticbhoys, Free Pacific States, Pinkerton X, FadetoBlack, Alienmarky, Atlantis Capitol, Weazing, TheNiro, Cadeyrn, Retchonia, Johnny Z, Bono B Bono Bonoduche, Sheshewoon, SmellyGoat, Misunderstood Bastards, Mosoviet, Oppressed majorities, Blophnia, St Phil and Sheri, Kastria, Thoroc, Kaikyo, Dea-4, Proctoscopia, Malingerers, Hilton Hotels, PinefilledGrapefruit, Keelonoia, Luotsi, Zoefield, Tartuga, Birdpath, Armaradon, JayCNichols, Maajas, Adur, Bordiga, C6H5OH, Augar-acin, Yogu, Dipsadn, Zantya, Moldavite, RolyA, Luthern, Onatac, Le Chatellier, Naldo, Auire, Orpo Korpo, Keyamonte, CroMem, East Daedalus, Mahnutzak, Talgarath, Micro-Ra, Solsona, Bruderheim, Horvatia, OOE, Beans Frog, Systems for Living, Pembridge, Cal Lutheran, Bostwickian, Pearl of the Orient, Grizzlor, New Lusitania, Yanacachi, Marksus, Pedronya, ElChico, Antonius the First, Monczechzistan, Whippy Dip, GoddessMaureen, Ze Inari, Huttah, Stormilladom, Thought and Beauty, Nouveau Bretagne, Koraendor, Forwardland, Drongos, Uniquenation, Raisen Crush, Heylo, Middle Earthia, Chiquitistain, Upper Lestoria, Vette Boss, Englebert, Cheeseits, Sir Paul-us Kennieve, Freedomsville O Brian, Everlasting Money, New Bernsland, The Blessed Relm, Jaqd, Conservative Cajuns, Fizzilvania, Chatelard, Allieworld, Poppa Homer, Oungavar, Morhams, Gandolfini, Poo-rovia, Sevota, Friedmansville, Scalding Stone, Terra Ice, Perfectcircle, Escherburg, Pangeea, Sashlandia, Walolin, Brodnax, Dragon-noir, Forgotton_realms, Munovia, The Arche, Samadhi-, Somatimes, The South Sand Islands, Radishseed, Motamafacai, United Mercs, My Private Little Isle, Sixtoland, Shizzleforizzleyo, Generatia, SKIMP, Eroctoc, Soviet Pudistan, Z4ph0d B33b13br0x, Ninja Pirate God, Bertuna, Simonaland, Kenboy, HamppukaupunkiII, Yuirmam, PONIES ARE AWESOME, Scott-Unit, LKYLand, Lamu, A bad name, L_u_p_i_n, Wenolien, Vargina, Mihein, Littlebitch, Macfleesylor, Nocs, Lady Kuja, Scanners, United Vidit, Independent Americans, Stetsons, Dolanda, Sweevildom, SpartanNation, Aerovia, Bromwich, FAOs Frederick, Generix, Startrooper86, Polopolis, Robustania, Tipharethia, Wutzalhabistan, Tipsville, Illahie, AspenChica, TrentOhann, Hominidaens, Bretean, Absolutely Everything, CryptoUtopia, Sceptoria, Moshmushmaloomloo, Heart of Flesh, Central Creations, Freedommess, Cute Little Kitties, Tribolgia, R O L A N D, Cash Refund, Tiberial Plains, Spctrewulf, Klondike the Klod, Tjisnamnsuks, Limerica, Emz Ville, The Loyal Citizen, Pokemonkillers, Nibbly Pig, Satanistic Cats, Chickerell, Rampant Rabbis, The buckets, Demanators, Sarcastic Jokers, Canntia, KTorak, Bellzaka, Thepeoplesfrontofjudea, Pseng, The Cracked, The park vaults, El Fnordodor, Baronwilliamton, Serialkillas, Wingonia, Teosamaland, Fastosus, More Free Things, VallisMarinieris, Meekrab, Shroudedmist, Big Rick, Dekekrtt, Dochas, Yeaagh, Union espaniola, Dubyahater, Shpongleland, Rampant Liberalism, Shinland, Soen, Spanktavania, Langeria, Posix, Red17, Mamotia, Shpe, Abstractions, Robredo, Drennin, Five Splar, Bocinski, Constantilopovich, Ravenhallow, Shwarditch, Endtime, Bounikistan, Gnidrah, BeyondEarth, Lucaria, Sempiternal Elysium, Mixed Mouse, DieXsel, Mother Crunch, Chambata, The GoldenPath, Donutsia, Gece, Exasperation, Liberal Badgers, Supremas, Generica and Dullness, Bokentopia, N4zguL, Nurdzikistan, Dangleopia, Furreh People, Kelssek, Icillan, Fish burgers, Enali, AFUTistan, Smallia, Lmps Pmps, Tor Johnson, Depperoniac, Kanberry, LaDeDaDeDum, The Pattern is Broken, The Genderless, Denmarkania, Wegman, Nightburger, REDMONSTER, Falling Rocks, Heatherinism, South Redfern, Dripci, Sineal, Holtslovakia, Irlandese, Freedom Spreaders, Bill-Bauer, The Dawson Islands, Bonswalia, Lemonz, Alpha15, QRZDOTCOM, The Empyreans, Feliti, Appanoose County, ClemsonTigers, Frederick Barbarossa, Animus Vitae, Smiley Happy Land, Herzogovina, Ohland 3, Imperial Kingdoms, Kate-Atonia, Narccisses, LibertyJustice, Reamons, Nutritious Snacks, Ralphaelli, Catrinity, DiDiZee, Okanogan, Eyesayyeah, Lorderbands, Chrisocco, Pungeunt Manchego, Hawthorn Sound, Videla, Pr0z4c, Winkel sint elooi, West kankystan, Marcutio, Tiag, Lucky Goldstar, Biun, Nalinia, Altrusim, The Rock of Wardalia, Harmonthep V, Vachement-Chouette, Hinata Islands, Morbidstine, Teahupoo, The Psychodelics, Algonquia, Mehulia, Chillin aka shawn, Kaburi, Daxonia, George21, Philosophical Liberty, Aqua Cascadia, Bradius, Belise, Tiskoian, 4d5e6f, Tightheadistan, Jessicas Kirkland, 5th Floor, Seekers of G-d, KajunLand, Uzbechistan, Sonneia, Husstler, Balooniation, Sciuridania, PhatPhucks, Water Pixies, Midasland, Parrowdice, Flobodan, Sorting, Malyndia, Viseman, Bombonia, HereNow, Lorok, Lammia, Tourniquet Seven, The Sase, Hard work and freedom, Blacura, Zipa De Do Da, Kadorkistan, Feight, Koskeshi, Borkio, Beer Bongia, King Zerstorer, Puppies and Valium, Xanxia, Khalrasian, Greggorio, Crozanian, Wigfield, Fartogo, Arghentinia, Omairia, Zharkarlen, Bankyoo, Gizmo and Jessica, Hordend, UHLEMEK, Rotter, Velenora, Canada V2, Foney Island, Redneck Pride, Aylandlandfive, WZ Forums, Yelda, Loprestia, Nendeln, Wolfenlands, Knuckles Promised Land, Novus Terra Reborn, Rusiennne, The Cardinal freon, Steenia, Cheer and Love, Gunzs, JS Nijmegen, The Dancing Butterfly, Renegade _Corporations, Aston, Thrope, Dioxin, PIcaRDMPCia, Al-Zar, Nerrethans, Gray Army, La Commune Quebecoise, Ophainia, Skredtch, Abadan, Plastic Explosives, The GTVA Colossus, Venerable libertarians, Zomnkeria, Maraque, JayRoddia, Real Sylvania, The Dog God, Hippietania, Ueberwald, Erinnor, Innocentius, The devine one, Styrland, Metal Poets, The Teejinator, No power structure, Walking To and Fro, Ripped Pants, Ariddia, Mescania, Pimps Have Seven Lives, Kingsey, Kyndcat, Gaiah, Denea, Kamikachidonia, Adam Island, Martha Stewart prisonr, Graceland in Memphis, Sinns right hand, Christopher IV, Brabant states, Silly Sharks, Noazia, Three Spinning Legs, Peaonusahl, Zapvilla, Dominate, Clintoned, SlowRoll, Dahlk, Therilon, Liberal Fascism, Domintora, Pili-Nuts, Alcadi, Queer Republicans, Luna Amore, Safj, Yangzhou, Occupied Smithania, DaJonesians, The Bruce, The Shaft, TheZone, Wherramaharasinghastan, Polamnesia, Albion and Arcadia, Dutch-ess, Rotovia, North-Baltia, ---Narnia, Heanor Gatians, Hargrimmia, Maubachia, Scylding, President Gary, Pine Lake, Pettorano, Faithful Servants, Lord Malak, High Spiritus, Voltairea, The New 100 Donuts, La Tropicana, Aztec National League, Bijanian Utopia, Guarafiana, Orlia, New York Jet Fanatics, Windleheim, LouFerringoland, The Talisman, Shanagolia, FoxTopia, Himmelstat, Anaximanderin, Joven, The Derrak Quadrant, Borgoa, Markodonia, Albar Sarta, Shogoki, Duplek, Master Tom, Dominic McD, Racoonesia, Tappey, Atlantic Districts, SSsEva, Taloni, Mikeswill, Varonnia, Hessen Nassau, Buaness, Docekaheedron, Nowherenessity, Euston, Neo Judea, Solidus Cell, Terranah, Womblinia, Ofidouissa, Cricket Fans, Leothan, Jake 4, Mazinopolis, Uginin, Justice and Democracy, Mettatron, The Bitter Rose, Achsnetd, Culex, Tierra del Queso, DHomme, Fincand, Mosopotamia, Sotha Syl, Oniram, Czech Minutemen, North Koster, Unrestrained Anarchy, Spurland, Stansfeldland, Shandus, Zippino, Dedstantinople, Pepsi Texaco, Great Morganton, Kyoryu, Uber Penguins, Saysomething, Stellar Nations, Ritwick, Tanthe, Naval Snipers, Byelorussia , Lisknatsiya, Self-proclaimed Colony, Ryiak, Fire Deep, Monkeystonia, Seamus McCaffrey, Manfredonia, Chivalric Knights 2, The Army of Prachya, Steven Kyle, Andy the Great III, Insequa, Dominicalius, Marmites, Sam99978, Lemotia, Franchina, The Belima, Fortunedome, TheBongos, The Roos Union, Devros Le Barbu, Grumioland, Dizziness, Socratic Apostles, North Central America, Thomason, Spongebobians, Anti-Margarine, Defection, Memorial Park, Saspian, Freedmark, Uthron, Kevin Gunn, Ameliastan, The Lost Civilisation, The Starr Empire, Schmitopia, Elgarve, Najitene, Texicanio, The Marine Infantry, Hockey Fandom, WoS-Badrang, Orioni 2, Krowhe, Caidoz, Dawitus, Dogcattle, Ralnia, Evil Woody Thoughts, Ultraliberalisme.

OK, I thank you for your attention, but Honor demands I state this for you first.

Under NS War guidlines, as I last remember them.
a nation is not Nuclear capable until it has 500 million in Population, and your armies are at peacetime 7% of your Population, and at War 10%, Therefore you have a max Military of 500,000 at your current state of War.

My Population is 4.2 Billion therefore, at Peacetime I have, a Military population of 600 Million, that is 120 soldiers for each of your citizens,

Do you really want to do this?

Military intelligence information transmission
From: King Falcon II of Falcania
To: all nations
Definitely NOT secure transmission

I recommend using the tactics employed by us for dealing with such declarations of war: 1. allow them to get close 2: activate your Godmod Defence Network 3: as the n00b attempts to get through to you, hit them with a shell from a well-aimed IGNORE cannon.

Do you really want to do this?

*watches as Exalted States backs into a corner and renounces his war claims against 1IL* ;)

The first Carrier group, already near Exalted States before, parked about 300km away from the nation. While a satelite was moving toward the nation, 2 V-121S scout aircraft made their way toward Exalted states. At heights of 65,000 feet, these modified V-121 bombers used their wing-shape and ramjet engines to slice through the skies, while radar absorbant materials and the removal of hardpoints made it harder to hit the aircraft. The aircraft used multiple types of radar to find the best targets for hitting, mostly looking for large cities.

V-121's and Rafale's were being prepared for fighter-bomber missions. Firebombs would be used on cities, while Durandal Anti-runway weapons were being prepared for use on any runways the enemy had. Two V-121's with hardpoints were being used only for Scalp EG runs. Every hour, 50 could be fired from the two to various targets.

The Rafale's were being tasked with taking down any airforce Exalted states could bring up. They carried 2 durandals, four Mica's, and four Meteor's, as well as two droptanks. They didn't have any DEAD's loaded, but they had them ready on the carrier, incase the enemy had any stealths.

EWNN Nightly News

We interrupt this broadcast to bring you a speech from Prime Minister Woody II, presumably in response to Exalted States' declaration of war.

"Good evening. I am sure that the citizens of Evil Woody Thoughts are no doubt...surprised that any nation would declare war upon us without even offering a reason. Yet it has happened. Not fifteen minutes ago, I learned that the Chairman of Exalted States declared war on several hundred nations, including Evil Woody Thoughts, by watching this very news program.

However, Exalted States poses no conventional threat to us. The Chairman is claiming to have successfully carried out a terrorist attack in another nation, but the psychotic dictator is not credible and such reports have not been corroborated.

In response to this declaration of war, I hereby order 300 long-range missles, equipped with conventional warheads, to be launched at the capital of Exalted States. Perhaps this will awaken the Chairman from his insanity. I am also ordering the deployment of the Second Aircraft Carrier group to the region, to assist other nations wishing to invade Exalted States. The nation of Chellis has expressed interest in this.

One thing is certain: Before long, the nation of Exalted States shall be no more. Good night."

Do you really want to do this?

OOC: Of course. I love playing the roll of the small terrorist rogue state. Also, I should note that I am not god-moding per se because the actions of my nation are perfectly consistent with those of a truly psychotic dictator and the use of terrorists and the state media to falsely claim that they spontaneously ocurred by some freedom fighters is fully consistent with the MO of such a rogue government.

Don't worry, I was laughing as hard as you were when I wrote the declaration.

The Ministry of Information has learned about a new freedom fighter operation against the rogue nation of Evil Woody Thoughts. At leat twenty operatives, constituting a group a fraction of that in the last attack, have used precisely the same methods as the fighters against Joshs shorts. It appears that they managed to increase their effectiveness by engaging in their operations in much more densely populated urban transport systems. The extent of their success is not yet known, but the Ministry of Foreign Affairs informs us that a death toll of several hundred would be rather conservative.

Uh yeah, I don't have any mass transit

Public Transport Budget (0%): $0

http://nseconomy.thirdgeek.com/nseconomy.php?nation=Evil+Woody+Thoughts

IGNORED

At least do some research into the nations you declare war on. :rolleyes:

OK, I thank you for your attention, but Honor demands I state this for you first.

Under NS War guidlines, as I last remember them.
a nation is not Nuclear capable until it has 500 million in Population, and your armies are at peacetime 7% of your Population, and at War 10%, Therefore you have a max Military of 500,000 at your current state of War.

My Population is 4.2 Billion therefore, at Peacetime I have, a Military population of 600 Million, that is 120 soldiers for each of your citizens,

Do you really want to do this?

OOC: 7% is a godmode for wartime. 5% is usually seen as the highest possible in wartime, and seeing your economy, you cant handle losing that much of the population.

Also, I should note that I am not god-moding per se because the actions of my nation are perfectly consistent with those of a truly psychotic dictator and the use of terrorists and the state media to falsely claim that they spontaneously ocurred by some freedom fighters is fully consistent with the MO of such a rogue government.

The MO, maybe (whatever that is), but not the actual practicalities. Even with your paltry population, it would be impossible to have a tourist in every state.

OOC: Of course. I love playing the roll of the small terrorist rogue state. Also, I should note that I am not god-moding per se because the actions of my nation are perfectly consistent with those of a truly psychotic dictator and the use of terrorists and the state media to falsely claim that they spontaneously ocurred by some freedom fighters is fully consistent with the MO of such a rogue government.

Don't worry, I was laughing as hard as you were when I wrote the declaration.

OOC: This is probably an NS player with a puppet, his writing is too good for a hataria.

OOC:a nation is not Nuclear capable until it has 500 million in Population,
I thought it was 300?

A Dreadnought bomber flies overhead. It drops a single shell, which falls into the Exalted States territory. However, instead of exploding on impact as bombs are wont to do, is instead cracks. Exalted States citizens who are passing by cautiously approach it. Inside the unexploded bomb, is a single piece of folded paper. One brave man cautiously opens it. He reads:

*********
*IGNORED!*
*********

ooc: Am I in that list? I'm too lazy to look. Meh, probably not. Meh, probably just as well, I don't think I could handle a war with a newbie.

OOC:
I thought it was 300?

OOC: Since this is freeform, there is no limit.

Orbit, NSEarth

Battlestars Pacifica, Galactica, and Colombia move into position for possible orbital Bombardment, or troop drops, awaiting a reply from the Nation of Exhalted States. Perhaps this is but a Misguided declaration from a Madman, or perhaps their rulers Child got a hold of the Hotphone, anywho, they waited.


[ooc]

Chellis, last time I actually visited II 7 was Peacetime and 10 was wartime, therefore you have to accept my apologies,
also I presume you are getting your information from the XML feed, I never found out how to access it and the economy scripts cannot cope with a Pacific, so We in the East tend to ignore that stuff especially considering that the UN affects our nations in game in ways it cannot in the real world, we really dont put a lot of emphasis on the XML or Scripts.

Loop,

OOC: Since this is freeform, there is no limit.

OOC: Now don't give Exalted States ideas...but with a military budget of less than a billion USD, there's no way ES would be able to afford them.

OOC: I simply got it off your front page, it being "fair", if I remember correctly.

OOC: Since this is freeform, there is no limit.

[ooc] again last time I visited II it was 500 million, and it has been a while, I think my last IC visit to II was in summer of 2003.

also how does one get that XML feed thingy?

OOC: Now don't give Exalted States ideas...but with a military budget of less than a billion USD, there's no way ES would be able to afford them.
OOC: What is the typical price for nukes here at NS?

OOC: I simply got it off your front page, it being "fair", if I remember correctly.

[ooc]
kekeke, we pay little attention to that too in the East, that whole UN messing stuff up bit again,
*edit*
Hit send too early,

The last three UN thingys did that to me,

[ooc] again last time I visited II it was 500 million, and it has been a while, I think my last IC visit to II was in summer of 2003.

also how does one get that XML feed thingy?

OOC: I dunno, i dont use it.

[ooc]
kekeke, we pay little attention to that too in the East, that whole UN messing stuff up bit again,

OOC: True. I assume my economy is much higher than what is generally considered freightening(35-40k GDPPC), because of various factors.

C'mon people! Less chat more splat!

OOC: What is the typical price for nukes here at NS?

OOC: Nobody around here will sell nukes unless you have at least 100 million population (that I know of, anyway). A Peacekeeper ICBM can be had for about $70 million, but at this point, Exalted States still needs to buy muskets for half of its farmers. ;)

If you're interested, here's a storefront. (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=380627)

C'mon people! Less chat more splat!

Hmm...I'm still waiting for a response to my missle launch...unlike teh n00b, I let other nations determine the casualties from my attacks, per NS conventions.

[DOCUMENT CONTENT DELETED DUE TO ITS BASIS IN FALSE INFORMATION]

OOC: All claims about casualties were vague and clearly for propaganda purposes only. I intentionally left Evil Woody Thoughts with the ability to acknowledge just a few dozen deaths and execute any captured terrorists. Also note that while the number killed in my country should be accepted--we do, after all, have no way to defend ourselves against such a massive attack--the claims about targeting schools and residential districts should be regarded as propaganda. Feel free to clarify what your actual tragets were.

OOC: All claims about casualties were vague and clearly for propaganda purposes only. I intentionally left Evil Woody Thoughts with the ability to acknowledge just a few dozen deaths and execute any captured terrorists.

OOC: OK. I see your point about private transportation.

Is your nation a coastal nation? (I have very evil thoughts :D )

IC:

EWNN Nightly News

This now breaking...Two bombs have exploded near Woody Square. The death toll is unknown; about forty people have been injured. Police have found the remains of a suicide bomber, along with ID documents issued by the Exalted States. Meanwhile, Exalted States has reported casualties in excess of 50,000 from the bombardment in which Evil Woody Thoughts is now participating. More as it becomes available..."

MINISTRY OF INFORMATION
PRESS RELEASE

[CONTENT REMOVED TO CORRECT FALSE INFORMATION]

Secret IC:

Prime Minister Woody II summoned Admiral Douglass, Chief of Staff of the Armed Forces, for a surprise meeting. The topic of discussion: the use of force against Exalted States. Both the Prime Minister and Admiral Douglass agreed that Exalted States needed to be wiped off the map, but they disagreed on whether Chellis could do it quickly enough or if Evil Woody Thoughts needed to do the dirty work itself. The Prime Minister ordered the Admiral to contact OSS and have ten seismic ICBM's aimed at Exalted States as a preliminary measure. He would issue an ultimatum soon.

*SECRET COMMUNIQUE TO EXALTED STATES*
*FOR THE CHAIRMAN'S EYES ONLY*

THE GOVERNMENT OF EXALTED STATES IS HEREBY ORDERED TO CEASE AND DESIST OPERATIONS WITHIN EVIL WOODY THOUGHTS, AND RETRACT ITS DECLARATIONS OF WAR AGAINST ALL NATIONS INVOLVED. FAILURE TO DO SO WILL RESULT IN DEPLOYMENT OF OUR SEISMIC ICBMS, WHICH ARE CAPABLE OF TRIGGERING 9.0 RICHTER SCALE EARTHQUAKES. IF YOU FAIL TO ACCEPT THIS ULTIMATUM, YOUR ENTIRE COUNTRY WILL BECOME NOTHING MORE THAN A NEW FAULT LINE. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

*END COMMUNIQUE*

(OOC: Nearly all of my nation's R&D since its inception has gone into geology--links to research in sig. Those links, in turn, link to earlier research.)

NSEarth, Orbit
Bridge Battlestar Galactica

Captain Rogers paced the deck awaiting the orders to fire, but according to the readouts on the monitor, the nation who had declared war was rather preoccupied with its first oponent, "How many Cylons were issued for this battle?" he asks his Tactical officer,
"not a lot, just 10, million, most are in the drop pods and ready to go clean up once we finish Orbital and traditional bombardment sir"
Rogers furrows his brow, "how many nukes?"
"same as always but Geberal Secretary Mizrahei has yet to allow launch."
"Funny when they invaded the Lizards were all up for using them, remember when they hit Nagasaki?"
"Yeah" replies Yamaguchi, the tactical officer, "I had family there."
Rogers surveys the situation, "we hold here until needed,"

"Sir, all schools we could hit have been destroyed. We will make more waves for the hospitals next, and then firebombing will commence on suburban areas."

"Excellent."

------

"Chellis Reiterates the fact that any nation that does damage to Exalted States shall be deemed an enemy of chellis, and war will be declared. This is ours. Evil woody thoughts is the only one exempt from this."

Kaeya Misho.

MINISTRY OF INFORMATION
PRESS RELEASE
EDITED TO CORRECT SUBSTANTIAL FALSEHOODS

[AN INDIVIDUAL MENTIONED IN VARIOUS FRAUDULANT DOCUMENTS] has been executed for Crimes against the Exalted People by Negligent Conduct. The [AFOREMENTIONED PERSON] was shot by a security guard at 8:30 AM after having attended a meeting at which he [COMMITTED A FRAUD AND GREAT CRIMES AFTER HEARING OF] [THE] Ministers’ unanimous advice to appease enemies. The Minister of Defense immediately became Acting Chairman pursuant to the Law of Succession and pardoned the security guard. The Minister of Justice then promptly indicted the [THE AFOREMENTIONED PERSON] for his crimes. At 8:45 AM, the [AFOREMENTIONED PERSON] and defendant was convicted and ordered to be executed by security staff no later than 8:30 AM that same day.

The former Minister of Defense and Acting Chairman, Yuso Edjak, is meeting with his Ministers to consider [A] threat of further genocidal attacks.

Evil Woody Thoughts watches the succession within Exalted States with great interest, and expresses approval regarding the assassination of the psychotic Chairman. The ultimatum issued earlier stands, though we will give the new government a short amount of time to consider and accept it before we act on it.

OOC: It's 3 AM here--time for bed.

OOC: It's 3 AM here--time for bed.
OOC: Ooh! I have LUNCH at 3 am :p (yes i'm a night owl ;) )

OOC: Sorry, i've just been laughing my arse off. Hehe... What a funny thread.

OOC: Ooh! I have LUNCH at 3 am :p (yes i'm a night owl ;) )

OOC: Well, some of us have to get up early too. *sigh* Were it up to me, I'd stay up past sunrise and sleep during the day. ;)

Funny thread, indeed! :) Keep it going!

ORDER OF THE ACTING CHAIRMAN OF THE FEDERATION OF EXALTED STATES

I, Yuso Edjak, in light of the conviction and execution of Adet Futop, find that Mr. Futop was ineligible for office and even citizenship due to his criminal activity. Mr. Futop's apparent Chairmanship was a fraud and did not constitute a leadership of the Federation of Exalted States. Thus, his purportedly official actions and deeds are hereby null and void. The Records of the Federation shall be updated to reflect that the Federation has had neither a Chairman nor a citizen by the name of Adet Futop.

Among the erroneous Records of the Federation that shall be destroyed as an illegal hoax is a document that purports to declare a state of war between the Federation of Exalted States and the following nations:

The Dictatorship of Suffraly, The Conglomerate of Armacor, The Stabilizing Force of 1 Infinite Loop, The Confederacy of Joshs shorts, Armed Republic of Nomopofok, Imatron, Al Hosani, Shaum, Darakjain, Gross Twuelpstedt, Lackland, Rozanna, Chokwen, Zubazz, Shimonee, SlimeLand, Airawan, Shelleys, Red Thunder, West Lancashire, Frohlich, Jestund, Fifien, Markdovia, Marshall0213, Kentiva, Delphi 7, Fulf, Rashawn, Greenslime, Anime-Otakus, Baltzatu, Mazuko, Celticbhoys, Free Pacific States, Pinkerton X, FadetoBlack, Alienmarky, Atlantis Capitol, Weazing, TheNiro, Cadeyrn, Retchonia, Johnny Z, Bono B Bono Bonoduche, Sheshewoon, SmellyGoat, Misunderstood Bastards, Mosoviet, Oppressed majorities, Blophnia, St Phil and Sheri, Kastria, Thoroc, Kaikyo, Dea-4, Proctoscopia, Malingerers, Hilton Hotels, PinefilledGrapefruit, Keelonoia, Luotsi, Zoefield, Tartuga, Birdpath, Armaradon, JayCNichols, Maajas, Adur, Bordiga, C6H5OH, Augar-acin, Yogu, Dipsadn, Zantya, Moldavite, RolyA, Luthern, Onatac, Le Chatellier, Naldo, Auire, Orpo Korpo, Keyamonte, CroMem, East Daedalus, Mahnutzak, Talgarath, Micro-Ra, Solsona, Bruderheim, Horvatia, OOE, Beans Frog, Systems for Living, Pembridge, Cal Lutheran, Bostwickian, Pearl of the Orient, Grizzlor, New Lusitania, Yanacachi, Marksus, Pedronya, ElChico, Antonius the First, Monczechzistan, Whippy Dip, GoddessMaureen, Ze Inari, Huttah, Stormilladom, Thought and Beauty, Nouveau Bretagne, Koraendor, Forwardland, Drongos, Uniquenation, Raisen Crush, Heylo, Middle Earthia, Chiquitistain, Upper Lestoria, Vette Boss, Englebert, Cheeseits, Sir Paul-us Kennieve, Freedomsville O Brian, Everlasting Money, New Bernsland, The Blessed Relm, Jaqd, Conservative Cajuns, Fizzilvania, Chatelard, Allieworld, Poppa Homer, Oungavar, Morhams, Gandolfini, Poo-rovia, Sevota, Friedmansville, Scalding Stone, Terra Ice, Perfectcircle, Escherburg, Pangeea, Sashlandia, Walolin, Brodnax, Dragon-noir, Forgotton_realms, Munovia, The Arche, Samadhi-, Somatimes, The South Sand Islands, Radishseed, Motamafacai, United Mercs, My Private Little Isle, Sixtoland, Shizzleforizzleyo, Generatia, SKIMP, Eroctoc, Soviet Pudistan, Z4ph0d B33b13br0x, Ninja Pirate God, Bertuna, Simonaland, Kenboy, HamppukaupunkiII, Yuirmam, PONIES ARE AWESOME, Scott-Unit, LKYLand, Lamu, A bad name, L_u_p_i_n, Wenolien, Vargina, Mihein, Littlebitch, Macfleesylor, Nocs, Lady Kuja, Scanners, United Vidit, Independent Americans, Stetsons, Dolanda, Sweevildom, SpartanNation, Aerovia, Bromwich, FAOs Frederick, Generix, Startrooper86, Polopolis, Robustania, Tipharethia, Wutzalhabistan, Tipsville, Illahie, AspenChica, TrentOhann, Hominidaens, Bretean, Absolutely Everything, CryptoUtopia, Sceptoria, Moshmushmaloomloo, Heart of Flesh, Central Creations, Freedommess, Cute Little Kitties, Tribolgia, R O L A N D, Cash Refund, Tiberial Plains, Spctrewulf, Klondike the Klod, Tjisnamnsuks, Limerica, Emz Ville, The Loyal Citizen, Pokemonkillers, Nibbly Pig, Satanistic Cats, Chickerell, Rampant Rabbis, The buckets, Demanators, Sarcastic Jokers, Canntia, KTorak, Bellzaka, Thepeoplesfrontofjudea, Pseng, The Cracked, The park vaults, El Fnordodor, Baronwilliamton, Serialkillas, Wingonia, Teosamaland, Fastosus, More Free Things, VallisMarinieris, Meekrab, Shroudedmist, Big Rick, Dekekrtt, Dochas, Yeaagh, Union espaniola, Dubyahater, Shpongleland, Rampant Liberalism, Shinland, Soen, Spanktavania, Langeria, Posix, Red17, Mamotia, Shpe, Abstractions, Robredo, Drennin, Five Splar, Bocinski, Constantilopovich, Ravenhallow, Shwarditch, Endtime, Bounikistan, Gnidrah, BeyondEarth, Lucaria, Sempiternal Elysium, Mixed Mouse, DieXsel, Mother Crunch, Chambata, The GoldenPath, Donutsia, Gece, Exasperation, Liberal Badgers, Supremas, Generica and Dullness, Bokentopia, N4zguL, Nurdzikistan, Dangleopia, Furreh People, Kelssek, Icillan, Fish burgers, Enali, AFUTistan, Smallia, Lmps Pmps, Tor Johnson, Depperoniac, Kanberry, LaDeDaDeDum, The Pattern is Broken, The Genderless, Denmarkania, Wegman, Nightburger, REDMONSTER, Falling Rocks, Heatherinism, South Redfern, Dripci, Sineal, Holtslovakia, Irlandese, Freedom Spreaders, Bill-Bauer, The Dawson Islands, Bonswalia, Lemonz, Alpha15, QRZDOTCOM, The Empyreans, Feliti, Appanoose County, ClemsonTigers, Frederick Barbarossa, Animus Vitae, Smiley Happy Land, Herzogovina, Ohland 3, Imperial Kingdoms, Kate-Atonia, Narccisses, LibertyJustice, Reamons, Nutritious Snacks, Ralphaelli, Catrinity, DiDiZee, Okanogan, Eyesayyeah, Lorderbands, Chrisocco, Pungeunt Manchego, Hawthorn Sound, Videla, Pr0z4c, Winkel sint elooi, West kankystan, Marcutio, Tiag, Lucky Goldstar, Biun, Nalinia, Altrusim, The Rock of Wardalia, Harmonthep V, Vachement-Chouette, Hinata Islands, Morbidstine, Teahupoo, The Psychodelics, Algonquia, Mehulia, Chillin aka shawn, Kaburi, Daxonia, George21, Philosophical Liberty, Aqua Cascadia, Bradius, Belise, Tiskoian, 4d5e6f, Tightheadistan, Jessicas Kirkland, 5th Floor, Seekers of G-d, KajunLand, Uzbechistan, Sonneia, Husstler, Balooniation, Sciuridania, PhatPhucks, Water Pixies, Midasland, Parrowdice, Flobodan, Sorting, Malyndia, Viseman, Bombonia, HereNow, Lorok, Lammia, Tourniquet Seven, The Sase, Hard work and freedom, Blacura, Zipa De Do Da, Kadorkistan, Feight, Koskeshi, Borkio, Beer Bongia, King Zerstorer, Puppies and Valium, Xanxia, Khalrasian, Greggorio, Crozanian, Wigfield, Fartogo, Arghentinia, Omairia, Zharkarlen, Bankyoo, Gizmo and Jessica, Hordend, UHLEMEK, Rotter, Velenora, Canada V2, Foney Island, Redneck Pride, Aylandlandfive, WZ Forums, Yelda, Loprestia, Nendeln, Wolfenlands, Knuckles Promised Land, Novus Terra Reborn, Rusiennne, The Cardinal freon, Steenia, Cheer and Love, Gunzs, JS Nijmegen, The Dancing Butterfly, Renegade _Corporations, Aston, Thrope, Dioxin, PIcaRDMPCia, Al-Zar, Nerrethans, Gray Army, La Commune Quebecoise, Ophainia, Skredtch, Abadan, Plastic Explosives, The GTVA Colossus, Venerable libertarians, Zomnkeria, Maraque, JayRoddia, Real Sylvania, The Dog God, Hippietania, Ueberwald, Erinnor, Innocentius, The devine one, Styrland, Metal Poets, The Teejinator, No power structure, Walking To and Fro, Ripped Pants, Ariddia, Mescania, Pimps Have Seven Lives, Kingsey, Kyndcat, Gaiah, Denea, Kamikachidonia, Adam Island, Martha Stewart prisonr, Graceland in Memphis, Sinns right hand, Christopher IV, Brabant states, Silly Sharks, Noazia, Three Spinning Legs, Peaonusahl, Zapvilla, Dominate, Clintoned, SlowRoll, Dahlk, Therilon, Liberal Fascism, Domintora, Pili-Nuts, Alcadi, Queer Republicans, Luna Amore, Safj, Yangzhou, Occupied Smithania, DaJonesians, The Bruce, The Shaft, TheZone, Wherramaharasinghastan, Polamnesia, Albion and Arcadia, Dutch-ess, Rotovia, North-Baltia, ---Narnia, Heanor Gatians, Hargrimmia, Maubachia, Scylding, President Gary, Pine Lake, Pettorano, Faithful Servants, Lord Malak, High Spiritus, Voltairea, The New 100 Donuts, La Tropicana, Aztec National League, Bijanian Utopia, Guarafiana, Orlia, New York Jet Fanatics, Windleheim, LouFerringoland, The Talisman, Shanagolia, FoxTopia, Himmelstat, Anaximanderin, Joven, The Derrak Quadrant, Borgoa, Markodonia, Albar Sarta, Shogoki, Duplek, Master Tom, Dominic McD, Racoonesia, Tappey, Atlantic Districts, SSsEva, Taloni, Mikeswill, Varonnia, Hessen Nassau, Buaness, Docekaheedron, Nowherenessity, Euston, Neo Judea, Solidus Cell, Terranah, Womblinia, Ofidouissa, Cricket Fans, Leothan, Jake 4, Mazinopolis, Uginin, Justice and Democracy, Mettatron, The Bitter Rose, Achsnetd, Culex, Tierra del Queso, DHomme, Fincand, Mosopotamia, Sotha Syl, Oniram, Czech Minutemen, North Koster, Unrestrained Anarchy, Spurland, Stansfeldland, Shandus, Zippino, Dedstantinople, Pepsi Texaco, Great Morganton, Kyoryu, Uber Penguins, Saysomething, Stellar Nations, Ritwick, Tanthe, Naval Snipers, Byelorussia , Lisknatsiya, Self-proclaimed Colony, Ryiak, Fire Deep, Monkeystonia, Seamus McCaffrey, Manfredonia, Chivalric Knights 2, The Army of Prachya, Steven Kyle, Andy the Great III, Insequa, Dominicalius, Marmites, Sam99978, Lemotia, Franchina, The Belima, Fortunedome, TheBongos, The Roos Union, Devros Le Barbu, Grumioland, Dizziness, Socratic Apostles, North Central America, Thomason, Spongebobians, Anti-Margarine, Defection, Memorial Park, Saspian, Freedmark, Uthron, Kevin Gunn, Ameliastan, The Lost Civilisation, The Starr Empire, Schmitopia, Elgarve, Najitene, Texicanio, The Marine Infantry, Hockey Fandom, WoS-Badrang, Orioni 2, Krowhe, Caidoz, Dawitus, Dogcattle, Ralnia, Evil Woody Thoughts, Ultraliberalisme.

IT IS SO ORDERED.

Yuso Edjak
Acting Chairman of the Federation of Exalted States

OOC: Well, some of us have to get up early too. *sigh* Were it up to me, I'd stay up past sunrise and sleep during the day. ;)
I actually do that! :D

Although, I'm trying to "normalize" my sleep schedule, so I can get a job here in the United Blue States of America :D

EWNN Nightly News

In a move unheard of in international diplomacy, Exalted States has annulled its foolhardy declarations of war. Yesterday, the psychotic Chairman was assassinated, and the new government has called the late Chairman "a fraud," his actions "an illegal hoax," and declared that all policy decisions of the late Chairman no longer exist. The Foreign Ministry has acknowledged the annulment of the conflict and ordered the cessation of offensive operations.

OOC: Good night, and I mean it this time ;)

OOC: Good night, and I mean it this time ;)
Good night :D

POLICY STATEMENT OF THE MINISTRY OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS

The nation of Chellis has issued a declaration of war against the Federation of Exalted States. The Ministry of Foreign Affairs assumes that this document, like a recently-destroyed fraudulant document from a Chairman of Exalted States who never existed, was issued in error by troublemakers.

The Ministry of Foreign Affairs requests the following action by Government of Chellis:

1. The aforementioned declaration of Chellis against Exalted States should be recognized as a fraud and annulled accordingly.

2. The perpretrators of the hoax who caused great destruction on the ground should be promptly executed for their crimes.

OOC: I simply see this as one thing: A mod is once again playing you all for fools. This is what I think. Ha ha ha!

The mods get you every time.

"But sir, we already have so many firebombs to use..."

"No buts. Pull back...just not too far. Stop attacking, until they piss us off again."

"Yessir"

and so the n00b learned the error of his ways, chellis ran away, EWT put his earthquake nukes back in his pockets and went to sleep and they all lived happily ever after.


THE END

*yawn*
There was a war? I was declared in it? And I missed it!?!?
Oh, well.
Goes back to sleep