NationStates Jolt Archive

"This is Joseph Mladic, speaking via the White Peoples Radio and Television Network. I am pleased to announce that work has begun on the construction of two statues in the center of Jackson City, side by side, each will be exactly one mile in height. One is of the Czar, Roger Fabus, the other is of the Czarina, Alice Fabus."


"These statues will symbolize just how close to the heavens the Czar and Czarina are, and that they are indeed rulers who are divinely ordained and that they carry out the will of God, here on Earth."



"The cost of the statues has not yet been determined, nor is it likely we'll know until after the project is done. But fear not, the taxpayers would not settle for less than perfection and excellence in the statues that will represent their monarchs, so you all should rest safely knowing that your leaders will be portrayed in the most splendid of fashion. We spared no expense in the design, and will spare none in the construction."

May Generalissimo J.L. attend the unveiling of these statues?

"A bit overdoing it, don't you think--a mile tall? Sounds like a rather big target to me. Even I'M not that full of myself. Anyway, good luck- let's hope it doesn't fall over."

-Kaiserine Yuna Mannerheim

The Highness, Czar Hayden, wishes to attend the unveiling of these statues. May I and a secretary discuss the travel arangements and the like? -- Jackson Kilpatrick, Head Of The Foreign Relations Directorate

To commemorate this event, two crates bearing twenty bottles of wine each, thirty of the finest cakes and pies in the world, a golden elephant statue weighing over 2 tons and worth over $10,000,000, a brand-new McLaren F-1, and a Halmark gift card will be sent to the Fabuses.

Anti-Fabus Statues to be Built

Today parliament approved the creation of several statues with Anti-Fabus messages to be built in Red Square. Among them is a 15 foot statue of Roger Fabus hanging from a gallow with people celebrating beneath the body. Another is a 50 foot statue of Lenin bitch slapping - yes, bitch slapping - Alice Fabus. There are several others, including Joseph Mladic being beaten down by a group of workers who are led by the founder of Hallad, John Connolly.

OOC: Fun, fun.

"All friendly powers are welcome to attend, you all know who you are, so just ask the Ministry of the Interior for clearance passes. Hostile powers, and you know who you are, don't even bother asking."


Czar Roger Fabus

"All friendly powers are welcome to attend, you all know who you are, so just ask the Ministry of the Interior for clearance passes. Hostile powers, and you know who you are, don't even bother asking."


Czar Roger Fabus

Thank you, sir. By the way, I hope our gift is to your liking?

-Generalissimo J.L.

IC:

This is quite an undertaking, we hope all ends up well.

President Jarrod Branam presses a little green button, that was oddly enough positioned next to the big red one, that positioned 4 Cruise Missiles towards the direction of these new statues. He looked over at his cabinet and said with a chuckle as he pulled the piece of grass from his mouth "Boys! We got ourselves a new target" in his usual deep Jarridian Accent (very similar to a Texan Accent)

IC:

This is quite an undertaking, we hope all ends up well.

President Jarrod Branam presses a little green button, that was oddly enough positioned next to the big red one, that positioned 4 Cruise Missiles towards the direction of these new statues. He looked over at his cabinet and said with a chuckle as he pulled the piece of grass from his mouth "Boys! We got ourselves a new target" in his usual deep Jarridian Accent (very similar to a Texan Accent)



Ooc- Since you made your missile maneuvers a public IC, I take it the world knows? So I can reply IC.


Ic-


"Fire anything against any target in my nation, and I will do to you what I did to Seryown, which is now a smoldering radioactive crater. They tried to harm my wife, and they paid, they all paid. I suggest you learn from their mistakes, any missiles, conventional or otherwise, fired against my nation or Commonwealth, will be met with a full nuclear, chemical, and biological response. Laugh it up, boy."

Czar Roger Fabus

From the Desk of the Chancellor

I would like to send personal congradulations and best wishes for undertaking this project, but I strongly believe that a one-mile high statue is a rather difficult endeavor to undertake. Afterall your workers will come under a considerable amount of trouble at such a height (unless of course you are building the statue in a horizontal posistion) as well there will most likely be immense wear on the statues at that height. Finally it would also serve as an incredibly large and tempting target for any hostile forces.

Those matters aside, I would like to wish you the best of luck on the construction of such a grand monument.

Chancellor,
Alexander Faulkner

[OOC- Note to self. New target if invasion plan E-2 commences. Question. What's it made of?]

IC- We hope that your lovely wastes of metal that could be better used for industry or the war effort don't topple over.

This finally shows us beyond a reasonable doubt the difference between Mississippi and Samtoina. We use our resources to work on objects of industry, technology, and war in the knowledge that those will inspire fear in people just by us having them and using them. You devote your money to big, symbolic objects that will scare tiny nations and do nothing to larger nations such as ours.

Ah well. To each his own. But threatening other nations with nuclear annihilation? Tsk tsk. Shame. Let's not go slinging around threats of that nature. In fact, you nuke someone for using a non-WMD against those statues and we'll reply in kind to such a threat to world security and the well being of our nation. We don't like the idea of a nuclear winter, no siree. But don't take it personally.

Have a nice day,

Samtonian Council of Thirteen

We will be happy to attend the statue opening. We will give a mana sapling and fine silk for the opening

"This beats by 700 foot tall statue of myself receiving the crown of Parthia from Ahura Mazda, and the 300 foot tall statue of myself standing over the body of a Shoobooshaaban, and the 200 foot statue of myself standing atop a pile of Arab corpses. I would greatly love to attend the unveiling of these massive statues to see the amazing work of the man who has beat me."

-Shah Khosru III

OOC:
Firstly; thank you very much Hallad; I was drinking when I read your post.
(still funny though)

IC:

The Mississippians are really good...
They should turn professional.

-AFP

---------------------

Secret IC:
The First Minister to her secretary; "Is someone compensating for something?"

"So.... the Fabus's will officially be members of the mile high club?" said the Emperor into the nearby netcam, which broadcasted his message.

A series of chuckles erupt through the throne room.

"Seriously though, these make blantant targets, and will be very very tricky to build."

"So.... the Fabus's will officially be members of the mile high club?" said the Emperor into the nearby netcam, which broadcasted his message.

A series of chuckles erupt through the throne room.

"Seriously though, these make blantant targets, and will be very very tricky to build."



"Did you ever ask yourself who would be dumb enough to attack a statue and thus start a war with a major military power such as the Mississippian Federation?"


Czarina Alice Fabus

IC:

This is quite an undertaking, we hope all ends up well.

President Jarrod Branam presses a little green button, that was oddly enough positioned next to the big red one, that positioned 4 Cruise Missiles towards the direction of these new statues. He looked over at his cabinet and said with a chuckle as he pulled the piece of grass from his mouth "Boys! We got ourselves a new target" in his usual deep Jarridian Accent (very similar to a Texan Accent)

The Emperor points at the transcript. "Them."

This looks to be a great statue. I hope that there will be a way to get to the top and enjoy the view.

Czar Sam Fabus

Official Statement, Imperial Government

His Imperial Majesty's Government greatly looks forward to seeing these architectual impossiblities crush their foundations and collapse, crushing vast swathes of your capital. His Imperial Majesty does hope that you will make the images public.

"Ok.... Now, just one question. WHY? Do you want to mount weapons of mass destruction in the eyes or something? Or are you merely coddling your egos. And yes, we have mile high buildings in our nation, but they actually serve a purpose, unlike these statues."-The Great Leader Li.

"Ok.... Now, just one question. WHY? Do you want to mount weapons of mass destruction in the eyes or something? Or are you merely coddling your egos. And yes, we have mile high buildings in our nation, but they actually serve a purpose, unlike these statues."-The Great Leader Li.



"The purpose of these statues is two-fold. One, they will have a concealed radio antenna to allow the White Peoples Radio and Television Network to be heard anywhere in the world when satellite signals are disrupted by weather. But mostly, they will be there to remind the Mississippian people of who their leaders are."

Czarina Alice Fabus




"My wife covered their purpose well-enough, I have only this to add. The antenna is concealed so things remain visually appealing, not for security reasons."

Czar Roger Fabus

"Eh. You're probably going to need serious guy wiring to hold those things up. Oh well, good luck to you then."

Ooc: I broadcast Joseph Mladic's show on my nation's comedy channels so this is a boon to MassPwnage.

Momanguise national television station no 212

"...however, leaving aside the story of Decisive Actions sheer idiocy we bring you a new exciting product, mini-ME! Based on actual pictures taken inside of Mississippian Egypt, these inch high statues of the Czar and the Czarina can be stepped on, buried, fed to your worst enemy, or...."

*the camera cuts to a willing volunteer removing his trousers*

"You can use them to dislodge any offending piece of excrement! Constipation need no longer be a problem! Please observe..."

*Volunteer proceeds to demonstrate removing poo from arse*

"And so, buy a mini-ME today, and save yourself from the devil and hell!"

A mile high? Almost as big as your ego Fabus. Almost.
On a side note, anyone like to place any bets on to how long it'll take the statues to fall down and crush half the city?
President Cheeser12

[OOC: Bleh, IC it is then.]

IC: "Now, you all see what we're gonna do? 'cause when we finally go ahead with this, I want everyone to have had a long time to mull over it. I don't want anybody doing this who doesn't think it's a good idea."

Bak sat back in the chair, the small above ground bunker's only light source being an unshaded power saving bulb hanging from the ceiling, illuminating only a tiny amount of the small wooden table around which the 8 members of the senior council were gathered, along with the chairman, as the blizzard outside beating against the metal dome protecting the these few important men.

"Well Bak", said Kota, one of the other men around the table, "The sort of retribution we could expect would be enormous. We've only managed to avoid being wiped out for two reason. One, we managed to use this old research base without the government even knowing it still exists, and two, we've not done anything serious enough to warrant them searching for us actively. Quite simply, if we do this, we're gonna need a hell of an escape plan when the shit hits the fan."

Bak sat forward again, hands on the table, clenched into fists.

"Dammit! We're here to MAKE shit hit the fan! We're here to STOP the government dammit! If we go ahead with this, the government wont stand a chance! You know the Orbital Constructs wont step in!"

Kota smiled broadly. He was one of the only people in the council who had known Bak before the orginisation went into full swing, and he knew more than well that this angry mood would pass.

"Listen Bak", said Kota, "It's just that we need to be cautious here. It's no good doing this and defeating the government if we end up being destroyed. Look, we have a long time to plan wether or not we'll go ahead with this. We'll just decide it over that time."

Bak pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing.

"Alright, we'll reconvene tomorrow at the same time. At that point we'll discuss further wether we should do this. Dismissed."

IC:

President Branam was sitting at his desk reading the paper, while discussing matters

"You know what the really funny thing is about this whole statue business?" said Jarrod as he laid his paper on the desk.

"What?" replied Kim Shaffer, secretary of state.

"The fact that no one, not even the citizens of DA care about these damned statues. I mean, just look at this title 'DA Builds Statue, World Picks Nose and Flicks Snot at Them', could this not be anymore humiating for the Fubusies? Or whatever they happen to be called. Even the story is mere sentences long." Jarrod said as he showed her the paper.

"Well Mr. President, sometimes leaders in these pathetic countries have to prove to themselves that they can lead, and building massive effigies for future generations to destroy is a good start." said Kim with a smile.

"Excellent! We shall prepare a gift for them." said Jarrod as he got up.

The note says: In hopes of a more productive future in your statue building, we wish to send you this video, that we fill, immortalizes this situation of world opinion. Please do enjoy, I'm sure Elma...or...ummm...Alice will enjoy this.

The video contained footage of a very large fat man dancing and making obscene gestures towards his crotch.

The Jeruselem Catholic Church refused to comment on the Decisive Action's plans to build mile high statues of their leaders, but Bishop John quoted Leviticus 19:1-5.

1 And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,
2 Speak unto all the congregation of the children of Israel, and say unto them, Ye shall be holy: for I the LORD your God am holy.
3 Ye shall fear every man his mother, and his father, and keep my sabbaths: I am the LORD your God.
4 Turn ye not unto idols, nor make to yourselves molten gods: I am the LORD your God.
5 And if ye offer a sacrifice of peace offerings unto the LORD, ye shall offer it at your own will.

The Jeruselem Catholic Church refused to comment on the Decisive Action's plans to build mile high statues of their leaders, but Bishop John quoted Leviticus 19:1-5.

1 And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,
2 Speak unto all the congregation of the children of Israel, and say unto them, Ye shall be holy: for I the LORD your God am holy.
3 Ye shall fear every man his mother, and his father, and keep my sabbaths: I am the LORD your God.
4 Turn ye not unto idols, nor make to yourselves molten gods: I am the LORD your God.
5 And if ye offer a sacrifice of peace offerings unto the LORD, ye shall offer it at your own will.
That's the truth
Vice President Sasha Alexander Romeov.

4 Turn ye not unto idols, nor make to yourselves molten gods: I am the LORD your God.


Aye, that's Gods lawe.

High Priest Cecil Howitte,
Of the Muramar Orthodox Church

Ok, everyone who's lost posts here: go along with the thread originator's wishes and keep things IC from now on, 'k?