NationStates Jolt Archive


Are Mississippians really that rude? (Language warning)

Decisive Action
04-01-2005, 13:56
Ooc-

Because of this

UN experts telephoned citizens from all nations at just before dinner time, in a study to determine which populations were the rudest.

Decisive Action is ranked 1st in the region and 2,415th in the world for Rudest Citizens.

I just had to make a little page about rudeness in Mississippi.

Do to the excessive use of language, I blanked out 1-2 letters in each word so the young-ins that might come in here despite the warning don't have to see any words they're not supposed to. (Typically if I have a post that has language, it's spread out over a long distance, but the swearing density in this post is such that it warranted, in my opinion, my extra care in the form of blanking parts of words out)

Enjoy, it's pretty funny.

Oh, and these are being broadcast around the world by the world press, so feel free to make IC comments.


Ic-

The United Nations recently released some recordings of phone conversations they had with various Mississippians.



Roger and Alice were just sitting down to dinner in their mansion on the Stalingrad estate. Suddenly the phone rang.

Alice answered it.

The man from the UN started talking, "Is this Alice Fabus? This is the United Nations, I'm calling to see if..."

Alice immediately interrupted the man, "The UN eh?"

He spoke again, "Yes, we want to know if you're rude or polite, in your own opinion."

Alice smiled, "Hmmm... Are we rude?"

The man nodded his head, "Yes, we'd really like to know."

Roger stopped eating and whispered to Alice, "Dear, whoever the f--k is calling, I'm trying to eat my dinner, tell them to go to hell..."

Alice grinned and then said into the phone, "Are we rude? What the f--k kind of question is that? One second, lemme think, f--k you, my husband and I are trying to eat dinner."

Alice then hung up before the UN man could say anything else.




Meanwhile, in Pretoria, William Fabus and Sylvia Katrina Fabus were sitting down in a high-scale restaurant and were having some wine before dinner. William's cellular phone rang (A governor-general must always have his phone on, or at least should always have it on)

The UN got right to the point, "Mr. William Fabus, we're calling from the UN..."

He immediately cut in, "Woah, woah, wait a minute, you're calling from the Jewnited Nations, is that it? Well hold on just a second here, first, it's either Archduke Fabus or Governor-General Fabus, got it?"

The UN man frowned, not pleased to have the United Nations referred to in a term that insulted both the UN and jewish people, he sucked it up though and said, "Archduke Fabus, a few questions please, we are doing a study to determine if you're rude or polite..."

William sighed, "I got a few questions for you, can your d--k reach your a-s?"

The man was shocked, "What the... What kind of question is that?"

William sighed and asked again, "Can your d--k reach your a-s?"

The man was clearly angry and just wanted to get the call over with, "I suppose so, maybe, why?"

William chuckled, "Good, then go f--k yourself, I'm having dinner with my wife." He then promptly hung up.




Back in Mississippi, on the Stalingrad estate, but at Curtis Fabus's mansion, he was sitting down to dinner when the phone rang, it was a woman from the UN, she cheerfully stated who she was, "Hello, Dr. Curtis Fabus? This is the United Nations calling... I'm..."

Curtis immediately grabbed a gun and shouted, "Black helicopters! Christine! Look for black helicopters!"

The woman on the other end sighed, "Dr. Fabus, please, this is a serious call..."

Curtis frowned, "Fine, who is this?"

The woman answered, "If you must know, I was the Miss United Nations in 2004..."

Curtis smiled, he immediately knew who it was, he had seen her on television, he grinned a bit, "So, what do you want to know, how big I am?"

The woman frowned, "No Dr. Fabus, let's try to keep this at a professional level shall we?"

Curtis smiled again, "So, what you wearing?"

She ended up just hanging up on him.




The people listening to the recordings of the conversations were left to conclude, "Are Mississippians really that rude?"
Canad a
04-01-2005, 21:14
OCC: Funny indeed it was, thank you for spreading your sense of humour, and blunt to the point.
MassPwnage
04-01-2005, 21:20
ooc: heh, nice.... I was 4th rudest in the region. Here's what happened at my call.

The Leader's Palace, In the Dining Room, 7 P.M.

The dining room was just a large, bare room with concrete walls. The leader walked in, stark naked, because no one wore clothes to dinner in the People's Republic of MassPwnage. A live veal calf,trembling was lead into the middle of room by an imperial guardsman who left and promptly closed the door. The leader retracted his claws, then his talons, then the 22 inch long barb on his tail. Then he went to work.

One slash tore out the calf's spine so violently that all the vertebrae popped from its back like button's on a fat man's shirt popping off. The Great Leader then chopped off the calf's head with his tail before it hit the ground, spraying blood everywhere. Then, an attendant knocked on the door.

"It's the U.N, sir, they're on the phone."

The leader spat.

"Tell them to go back to fucking their siblings and children!"

The assisstant replied, "I can't, it's important."

"Put it on speaker.... then."

The room's speaker system crackled to life. The U.N caller, a man who spoke in a very slow monotone said:
"Hello. We. Are. Conducting. A survey...."

The Great Leader interrupted.

"Look, bitch, would you quit wasting my fucking time and get to the point?"

The Caller continued:
"On. Rudeness. In..."

The conversation was cut short abruptly by the leader throwing a rib bone through the speaker.
Camel Eaters
04-01-2005, 21:21
ooc: hehe
Risban
04-01-2005, 21:24
OOC: Lol. Funny stuff there, DA.
Kahta
05-01-2005, 00:36
OOC: lol I tought people in Mississippi were proud of being polite...
Itinerate Tree Dweller
05-01-2005, 00:44
ooc: Itinerate Tree Dweller is ranked 7th in the region and 2,235th in the world for Rudest Citizens.

*ring ring ring*

~Your call has been blocked because the automated phone scanner detected a severe a**hole on your side of the phone system. We suggest that you quit your job, rent a gun and buy a bullet; after that you should be able to figure it out. Anymore calls will result in wishes of death and pestilence on your people and land.~
P3X1299
05-01-2005, 00:56
OOC: LOL! That was just too funny. I just couldn't resist doing this either, especially given the level of corruption in the RL U.N.

P3X1299 is ranked 1st in the region and 2,504th in the world for Rudest Citizens.

IC:

John Carter's Residence, Thaler City

Carter was just sitting down to a nice steak dinner, when his business phone began to ring. He picked it up.

"Hello. This is a U.N. survey. We are conducting a phone survey to learn who is rude and who is not."

Carter took a bite of his steak and began to talk with his mouth full.

"You said you're with the United Front for Bribes and Corruption?"

"No, sir. I'm with the United Nations."

"Oh, that bunch of blustering windbags. In that case, why don't you call my hotline that I have set up for solicitation of bribes. I'm sure that they can probably hook you up."

"Sir, I just want to know if you consider yourself rude."

"Rude? What is this? Some kind of telephone survey?"

"Yes, it is a telephone survey."

"So you want me to answer your questions?"

"Sir, I've only got one question. Do you consider yourself to be rude?"

"I'm sorry. I don't do telephone surveys damn it."

With that, Carter slammed down the phone and turned back to his steak dinner.
Canad a
05-01-2005, 03:45
Canad a is ranked 12th in the region and 117,716th in the world for Rudest Citizens.

PRESIDENT'S RESIDENCE - PRESIDENTIAL BUILDING COMPLEX
Victoria, Vancouver Island, Vancouver, Federal Republic of Canada

President Wittrock sat in the recliner as he read the Canada Times Newspaper as heard the phone ring, he picked it up and answered, "Hello, President Wittrock here. How may I help you?"

"Hello this is Steven Rogers from the United Nations, I am calling for an international survey."

"An 'international survey', on what?" The President asked slowly.

"Do you think your rude, Mister President?"

"No, no, I'm not rude but this is a survey? How did you get this number? Its private!"

"Oh, I apologize for bothering you..."
The Parthians
05-01-2005, 04:38
The Parthians is ranked 1st in the region and 348th in the world for Rudest Citizens.

The phone in the study of the Shah rang as he sank his teeth into plate after plate of delacacies of Persian cooking.

With a mouth still full of food he answered just before he let a massive gulp. "Lord Teymorian, is that you?"

The man on the other side began to speak, "No, I'm part of the UN and I am looking for Shah Khosru."

The Shah was clearly annoyed, "I am Shah Khosru you dumb piece of s--t. What the f--k is wrong with you, are you stupid or something? I know you guys are sinister b-----ds trying to kill everyone and implement your New World Order, but I never knew you could be this stupid. You f-----g retard, you need to die, I'm going to f-----g kill your whole f-----g family for being a servant of the NWO. I'll have you and the rest of them kidnapped and brought here, a few hours in my torture chamber should get it straightened out who is the Shah! Go f--k yourself! Now, what did you want to ask, quickly, I am busy!"

The UN employee just sat there and said nonchalantly, "Nothing, you gave us all we needed to know the answer to our question!"
Iuthia
05-01-2005, 06:42
OOC: Heh, well we didn't need UN Stats to tell us that Mississippians are rude... though it does make me wonder because UN stats for the intelligence of your people compared to the claims of obcenely high intelligence supermen don't really match. I suppose some things are more desirable then others...
Pacitalia
05-01-2005, 07:27
OOC: Yeah, it doesn't make sense. I'm 1st in region and 1601st in the world for Rudest Citizens but I would rank DA higher than myself for sure ;)
Estayland
05-01-2005, 07:31
Mississippi is the hospitality state. Of course... Ive heard thats only because of the same reason you say a fat girl has a good personality.
Sora Lovers
05-01-2005, 07:39
OOC: Wow you make a good argument over that one ;) rudeness rules your countries lol
Camel Eaters
05-01-2005, 07:40
OOC: I got 1st in my region and 2,488th in the world.
Decisive Action
05-01-2005, 07:54
OOC: lol I tought people in Mississippi were proud of being polite...



Ooc- They are polite, to other Mississippians and to whites from nations we have good relations. Not to international bodies that we've hated since the day they were formed (ie. UN).
Decisive Action
05-01-2005, 07:58
Mississippi is the hospitality state. Of course... Ive heard thats only because of the same reason you say a fat girl has a good personality.



Ooc-

Just like the motto from the movie Southern Comfort, "It's the land of hospitality, unless you don't belong."


Mississippians treat other Southerners fine, (White) Bolivians fine, (White) Argentines fine, (White) Chileans fine, (White) Uruguaians fine, Commonwealthers fine, and most Europeans fine.

Mississippians hate Brazilians (Even white Brazilians) this will be covered in RPs when I talk about the nearly decade long "Mississippian Brazilian War".
Callisdrun
05-01-2005, 08:07
OOC: 38th in my region and 109,445th in the world.