NationStates Jolt Archive

PCN News Wire AP
Haven Defense Initative Test Fails

Several Pentagon officials are now confirming to PCN that a routine test of the Haven Defense Initative, a missile shield constructed to protect the region from nuclear attacks, failed today. Out of ten criteria for success, the test fufilled nine, however, the tenth - hitting the target - was missed by 137 miles.

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Staff Hallway 1-A6
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President David R. Mitchell
You know what you are? You are the Charlie Brown of missile defense. The Pentagon is Lucy.

Chief of Staff Adam Halliburton
I'm not familiar with the reference.

President David R. Mitchell
Peanuts. Charlie Brown.

Chief of Staff Adam Halliburton
I've heard of them. I'm just not conversant in them.

President David R. Mitchell
Why?

Chief of Staff Adam Halliburton
I've never read the comics.

President David R. Mitchell
Adam, were you born at age 55?

Chief of Staff Adam Halliburton
I know there's a dog.

President David R. Mitchell
Charlie Brown wanted to kick a football and Lucy would hold it, except she'd pull it away at the last minute and Charlie Brown would fall on his butt.

Chief of Staff Adam Halliburton
That's funny?

President David R. Mitchell
No, but each time Lucy would find a way to convince Charlie Brown that this time she wouldn't pull the ball away. But she would and, once again, Charlie Brown would fall on his butt.

Chief of Staff Adam Halliburton
And that's funny?

President David R. Mitchell
It's satirical.

Chief of Staff Adam Halliburton
What's it satirizing?

President David R. Mitchell
The Pentagon bringing you to the Situation Room every time they run a new missile test so that you come to me and tell me how great it works so I'll put money in the HDI system.

Chief of Staff Adam Halliburton
You should put money in the HDI system.

President David R. Mitchell
It doesn't work.

Chief of Staff Adam Halliburton
It will work. One day soon... and there're a couple of three star generals in there. Call any of 'em Lucy and you're on your own.

They enter the situation room...

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White House Situation Room
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President David R. Mitchell
Hey, where are we?

General James Taylor, Joint Chiefs
The kill vehicle is on a clear trajectory.

Chief of Staff Adam Halliburton
What's the time to the target.

General James Taylor, Joint Chiefs
Fifty seconds. Colonel, could you walk the President through?

Colonel Kevin Chase, Joint Chiefs
Yes, sir. Mr. President, approximately 3 minutes, a missile was launched with a simulated nuclear warhead from the Southern Haven Straights.

President David R. Mitchell
And it's going to hit my garage in Christmas Bay when?

Colonel Kevin Chase, Joint Chiefs
Well, sir, once the missile cleared cloud cover, it was detected by the early warning satellites, which launched an interceptor, or kill vehicle.

Missile Monitor
[on radio] 10 seconds to SRB separation.

Missile Officer
SRB separation is solid rocket boosters separation. That means a high-resolution radar on the ground has gotten a lock on signal from the kill vehicle.

Missile Monitor
[on radio] Go SRB separation.

Missile Officer
[on radio] Confirm solid rocket booster separation.

Missile Monitor
[on radio] Kill vehicle's away. Coming over a 044.

Missile Coordinator
[on radio] 20 seconds to target intercept.

Missile Monitor
[on radio] Go flight.

President David R. Mitchell
So what happens now?

Chief of Staff Adam Halliburton
In 20 seconds, it collides with the nuclear warhead.

President David R. Mitchell
Where?

Chief of Staff Adam Halliburton
Outer space.

Colonel Kevin Chase, Joint Chiefs
17 miles above the earth's atmosphere.

President David R. Mitchell
Okay, but we don't have anybody out there right now do we?

Chief of Staff Adam Halliburton
Sir...

President David R. Mitchell
When we stay at the hotel's in Edolia, we have to check out Michener's typewriter.

Missile Monitor
[on radio] Intercept in 5, 4...

Missile Officer
Here we go.

Missile Monitor
[on radio] 3, 2, 1.

Silence. As everyone hangs their heads, an officer sighs.

President David R. Mitchell
Is that silence a pretty good sign?

Chief of Staff Adam Halliburton
No.

Missile Monitor
[on radio] Negative intercept.

General James Taylor, Joint Chiefs
Have we got sensor readings yet?

Colonel Kevin Chase, Joint Chiefs
No.

Missile Monitor
[on radio] Negative intercept. KM warhead has overshot it's target.

President David R. Mitchell
It was just enthusiastic.

Chief of Staff Adam Halliburton
By how much?

General James Taylor, Joint Chiefs
Uh, Adam...

Chief of Staff Adam Halliburton
[sternly] By how much did it miss the target?

General James Taylor, Joint Chiefs
Colonel?

Colonel Kevin Chase, Joint Chiefs
137.

Chief of Staff Adam Halliburton
We missed the target by 137 feet?

Colonel Kevin Chase, Joint Chiefs
Miles.

Chief of Staff Adam Halliburton
[looks at him, incredulous] We missed it by 137 miles?!

President David R. Mitchell
When you consider the size of outer space, Adam, that's not so bad. Oh, and by the way, the words you're looking for are "Oh good grief".

President walks out...

Official Announcement of the United States Government

The Government of the United States of Allanea would like to offer to Pilot and any Haven nations interested in building such a system, the plans for the Nautilus ABM laser system, developed by Israel and America in the late 20th century, with a 90% chance of interception of ICBMS, IRBMS, and even low-flying aircraft. We offer those free of charge due to our sincere interest in Haven stability. Further, we can deliver sample Nautilus stations to those interested in them, provided the nation in question is in Haven.

OOC: I RP as if RL events have happened IC, if you do otherwise, just imagine it's some Allanean system.

[Erm, I hope that's your private SDI system, cause the system I designed is a hell of a lot deeper than that. For one, there are kenetic kill and laser sats in orbit, then there are missiles (although I assume those aren't mine), and finally there are the ground-based strategic lasers. Even if one of the systems missed, all three most certainly wouldn't.]

[OOC: All of Kelanis's ICBMs and IRBMs are equipped with mirrored second-stage and terminal stage ablative armor capable of dispersing oncoming strategic laser bursts enough to screw up the intercept solution.

Not to mention the hundreds of thousands of decoy IRBMs with MIRVs carrying chaff and teddy bears...]

[*groans* First of all Kelanis, I'm not sure anybody actually cares because it isn't likely that any RP involving any inter-Haven war is going to allow nukes. Second, you do realize that's going to seriously reduce what payload you can carry, right? Third, no ablative armour I'm aware of is mirrored and even if it were, ablative armour isn't designed to deal with high-powered lasers.]

The Imperator rubbed his eyes and yawned as he looked up at the briefing that his aide held in front of his face. "What's this?" he asked, "and why did you have to wake me up to show it to me?"
"Apparently, sir," the aide said, "The Pilotans are claiming that the HDI system doesn't work." The Imperator laughed.
"You woke me up because the Pilotans are denying reality? They do that virtually every day!"
"Yes sir... but I thought that you might want to hear about it. It could have consequences for future Haven relations."
"If the missile shield didn't work, most of Edolia would be a radioactive crater," the Imperator chuckled. "They must have been testing the part that they launched. Just because they use inferior technology doesn't mean that they can make broad, sweeping statements. The Edolian, Scandavian and Cat designs are far more effective than theirs."
"Yes sir." The Imperator thought for a moment.
"Offer to sell the Pilotans our technology, and if they don't want to, offer to buy their defense satellites. They might not be of the highest quality, but we can probably get some use out of them, incorporating more advanced technology and putting them into the new Edolian missile net."

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White House Oval Office
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Secretary of State Christopher Bruno
"Sir, the Edolians sent a message to our attache that they would be willing to buy off our defense satelittes and other such instruments. They feel we are 'technologically inferior'"

President David R. Mitchell
"Well, you can see that really hurts me coming from the embassy of a country that cannot even bake its' own bread."

Chief of Staff Adam Halliburton
"Well, they have a point. After the test, we're going to hear alot about how we should be renovating the missile shield. And the military for that matter. Perhaps we should get in contact with someone, have them draw up a provisional plan to design us a missile shield."

President David R. Mitchell
"How much is this going to cost?"

Chief of Staff Adam Halliburton
"Well, we have a 3.3 trillion dollar surplus that Congress has been waiting for us to appropriate."

President David R. Mitchell
"Alright, get on the phone with some people. Let me know in two, three days how we're going to do this."
_________________________________________________________________

To: Arms Manufacturing Nations
Re: The Development of a Missile Shield

The nation of Pilot is not putting out a blanket call to any arms manufacturing nations that can build a complete and functional missile shield. We have 3.3 trillion dollars to spend right away and we wish to have the best grade equipment we can buy. Additional money can be appriopriated. Please respond as quickly as possible.

Official Announcement from Allanean Arms, Inc.

We will happily build such a system from your specification. It will be based around the Nautilus systems used by Allaneans, and accompanied by a large amount of AA missiles, space-to-ground weapons, and a Sattelite/Ground Radar Early Warning System [SGREWS].

At your service,
Kirill Nivensky,
CEO, Allanean Arms, Inc.

Official Announcement from Allanean Arms, Inc.

We will happily build such a system from your specification. It will be based around the Nautilus systems used by Allaneans, and accompanied by a large amount of AA missiles, space-to-ground weapons, and a Sattelite/Ground Radar Early Warning System [SGREWS].

At your service,
Kirill Nivensky,
CEO, Allanean Arms, Inc.

Give us a throughout explaination of how the system works, its specifications, its cost and building time and then we will talk.

~ Department of Defense.

Phoenix Defense Industries would like to propose the following system for the Pilot SDI.

72 ground-based missiles with single kinetic kill interceptors
72 ground-based missiles with single bomb-pumped gamma ray laser warheads
12 ground-based 5Mw Chemical Oxygen Iondine Lasers per major city
36 satellites with 20 Osmium kinentic kill darts per satellite
36 satellites with single 2Mw Chemical Oxygen Iodine Laser

Costs:
$25 Million per satellite
$30 Million per missile
$5 Million per ground-based laser

Estimated total cost (excluding ground-based lasers): $6.12 Billion