Hogsweat
30-12-2004, 03:32
Okay, this is a joke but it's also true. it reflects my tank corps in its entirety.
This is just one brigade.
Enjoy!
MOTTO OF THE 15th ARMOUR BRIGADE
"Tanks are much nicer than personalities"
-Soviet Bloc (not 15th Brigade):- We should just classify the invasion of Hogsweat as the Basic Armor Crewman's Training Course.
-At the Reservation-
“Why are we missing a tank comrade?”
NEWS BULLETIN One of our tanks has been captured by fascists and is heading downtown!”
IN THE TANK “WHEEEEE!!!!”
Vodka Will Destroy Enemy!
The shells fell, but none out of the 5 hit any enemy tanks.
"Why have we stopped shooting comrade?" Asked the Commander
"We swapped our shells for Vodka at Brigade Supply comrade!" Replied the Gunner
At Enemy Position
"what thehell... they are shooting vodka at us! SOUND THE RETREAT!"
Inspection Day
"Comraede, why is this barrel filled with rust?" The commissar demanded an answer.
"No comrade, rust improves Tankist Morale. In divison, we say rust good for luck" the Tankist answered.
"Very good comrade. Carry on" The commissar strode off to inspect the other tanks…
Summer Nights..
"There's too much snow comrade!" Shouted the gunner, vainly trying to get a lock on his target.
"But it's summer!" The Commander shouted
"Divisional HQ Don't know that" The Gunner yelled back amidst the combat.
In Combat, Weapon Helps!
The tank burned, but luckily the crew had ejected. However, over the hill loomed an enemy infantry squad searching for survivors..
“Comrade, where are weapons that are supposed to be loaded on the tank?” The driver asked.
“We used up all the ammunition shooting birds.” The gunner replied.
“Oh. Did you hit any?” The Driver looked interested.
“No, they were all moving.” The gunner answered solemnly.
Never Betray Comissar!
Shells exploded around the tank squadron. The lead tank, was manned by a one commissar Breykelov.
“Tanks of the 15th Brigade, 28th Squadron, FORWARDS!” The commissar screamed
“We are behind you” uttered the tank squadron commander. The Commissar tank powered forwards, taking several hits before a missile to the turret finished off the Merkava. Where was the commissar's support you ask?
Down the village pub having a pint.
last words of comrade Antropov!
The insurgent village of Telebetskytruskyov was all but crushed. Tanks of the 15th Brigade rolled over the crushed cars and blasted rebel houses. Suddenly out of a street, an old bazooka popped out.
“Don’t worry comrades, Bazooka cannot harm our tan-“
The resulting explosion ripped apart the Merkava so fiercly the remains of Comrade Leader Antropov could not be found.
Hopefully I'll get some more done =)
This is just one brigade.
Enjoy!
MOTTO OF THE 15th ARMOUR BRIGADE
"Tanks are much nicer than personalities"
-Soviet Bloc (not 15th Brigade):- We should just classify the invasion of Hogsweat as the Basic Armor Crewman's Training Course.
-At the Reservation-
“Why are we missing a tank comrade?”
NEWS BULLETIN One of our tanks has been captured by fascists and is heading downtown!”
IN THE TANK “WHEEEEE!!!!”
Vodka Will Destroy Enemy!
The shells fell, but none out of the 5 hit any enemy tanks.
"Why have we stopped shooting comrade?" Asked the Commander
"We swapped our shells for Vodka at Brigade Supply comrade!" Replied the Gunner
At Enemy Position
"what thehell... they are shooting vodka at us! SOUND THE RETREAT!"
Inspection Day
"Comraede, why is this barrel filled with rust?" The commissar demanded an answer.
"No comrade, rust improves Tankist Morale. In divison, we say rust good for luck" the Tankist answered.
"Very good comrade. Carry on" The commissar strode off to inspect the other tanks…
Summer Nights..
"There's too much snow comrade!" Shouted the gunner, vainly trying to get a lock on his target.
"But it's summer!" The Commander shouted
"Divisional HQ Don't know that" The Gunner yelled back amidst the combat.
In Combat, Weapon Helps!
The tank burned, but luckily the crew had ejected. However, over the hill loomed an enemy infantry squad searching for survivors..
“Comrade, where are weapons that are supposed to be loaded on the tank?” The driver asked.
“We used up all the ammunition shooting birds.” The gunner replied.
“Oh. Did you hit any?” The Driver looked interested.
“No, they were all moving.” The gunner answered solemnly.
Never Betray Comissar!
Shells exploded around the tank squadron. The lead tank, was manned by a one commissar Breykelov.
“Tanks of the 15th Brigade, 28th Squadron, FORWARDS!” The commissar screamed
“We are behind you” uttered the tank squadron commander. The Commissar tank powered forwards, taking several hits before a missile to the turret finished off the Merkava. Where was the commissar's support you ask?
Down the village pub having a pint.
last words of comrade Antropov!
The insurgent village of Telebetskytruskyov was all but crushed. Tanks of the 15th Brigade rolled over the crushed cars and blasted rebel houses. Suddenly out of a street, an old bazooka popped out.
“Don’t worry comrades, Bazooka cannot harm our tan-“
The resulting explosion ripped apart the Merkava so fiercly the remains of Comrade Leader Antropov could not be found.
Hopefully I'll get some more done =)