NationStates Jolt Archive

OOC: Yes i going to declare war on a noob. Why?? WHY??? Because im all out of Lsd thats why.

Breaking news.

Today Zackaroth's Archbishop concil declared war on Escrew because of recent events and to recent boredness. Zackaroths High Leader Had this to say: " I believe if we want christianty to spread threw out the world so we need to destory this satanis cult before ot grows. Of course this is all bullshit we needv the extra land." There you have folks. Zackaroth is going to war. The leader also said any nation helpinbg us will recive a a basket of furits and a free subscritioon to Cathloic girls monthly.

We will send a monkey from one of our zoos. Now where's that fruit basket?

A fruit basket has been sent.

A fruit basket has been sent.

We will help most definetaly. A large flock of pigeons has been sent.

"No $#!&! Thats some Pretty &$%#ing good fruit!" - Damian Daivo, President.

The Empire of Risban shall send some scorpions to help.

The Confederacy of Lachenburg will aid you nation by sending thousands of starve-craved Hampsters with golf clubs to defeat the forces of Escrew.

Image of Hamsters (http://gp78.free.fr/photos/pga/hamster.jpg)


Unfortunantley, the Grand Canton is allergic to apples, so we would appreciate it if you removed all the apples from the basket.

Maximilian Von Hinterguard
Direktor of International Relations
Confederacy of Lachenburg

The Dominion of Nordrreich wholeheartedly supports the actions of Zackaroth and military assistence is being considered. However, we may have significant trouble with the wayward former possession of Ashkenazia on our hands and be unable to help with effective military forces.

Send fruit baskets. One accidently got somthered in apple sauce which was mistakenly sent to lachenburg

Please accept this gift from The Protectorate of Henrytopia. We would like to surrender the services of the Imperial Death Star (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v282/zerogeeR6/NationStates/deathstar.jpg). Our government had retained their services but no longer finds it necessary as we moved the entire nation into another zen-less dimension which is quite good may I add. We have secured and paid for IGNORE aerial bombardment from the Imperials for a small fee as they were also annoyed by the foolish acts of said zen masters. We have a contract to allow the use of the Death Star and the Imperial Armies as well for a retainer of one dollar if you find it necessary, we left two dollars on the counter if you need it.. keep the change.

The Protectorate.

To all Zackaroth forces:

Stand down immedeatly. Lay down your weapons, and you will be let off unharmed. Our fleets are on stand by to begin to move in if you should ignore this. If you are willing to disregard this, I will have no choice but to declare war. I repeat, stand down.

From: Shogun Himura Kenshin

-Shogun of Pschycotic Pschycos-
_Pilot of the ZGMF-10A Freedom-

" You do realize he declared war on everybody so its our right yo declare war back. Cmon join us. The fruit is aswome.

Zackaroth, we have called upon our Moronic Legion of the Hilltops to assist you in this endeavor. They are fierce warriors, devout to their commander.. and quite stupid so they should fare very well against any moronic defense thrown at them. We have dispatched their commander, the babbling organ grinder's monkey to your nation for further instructions. Please feel free to use this elite guard against the ScrewE... I mean EScrew maniacs.

Inkana will send its most fearsome mutants.

The Tigird:
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/images/cloning8.jpg
The Eagog:
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/images/cloning1.jpg
And the Ramonknine:
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/images/cloning5.jpg

Slinao will send 10,000 plague infested rats, each contained in an airtight container and been trained to sniff out the EScrew population of Zen Radicals.

Each rat also has a small firebomb attached to it in case the Zen try to cleanse the rat and use it to their benifit.

Where is my fruit at?

We are sending 3000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 blood thristy sodomite giraffe to escrew

fruit has been sent

Damn! Thats some F!@#$%^ good fruit!

A shipment of overweight cows has arrived from Yafor 2.

We have sent a group of bounty hunters to hunt down the Zen master and destroy the nation of escrew since the nation seems to be immune to nuclear blasts

OOC: This is hilarious! ^^

La Habana sends a plague of rabid dogs to attack eScrew

The HDC seems to have amassed a large amount of soiled jock straps and we have incorporated them into a conventional bomb delivery system for your air force. They are en route to you as we speak.

The nation of New Frussia has sent sabotuers in and has planted many "dirty bombs" all over your foes nation. SEND THE FRUIT!....and the porn....


If you wanna know whats in the dirty bombs, look down while on the toilet. Oh yes, lots of poop spreading destruction.

Urukku will offer thousands of our latest PDS-2000 (Pants Dispersal System) bombs. Each PDS-2000 drops 2000 pairs of ultra-short-shorts. These come in a variety of hideous shades of pink. While we can't guarantee they'll kill anybody, they'll certainly make the enemy look silly.

To: Glorious Leader, Nation of Zackaroth
From: Emporer Shaz Bot, The Holy Empire of Shazbotdom

The Holy Empire of Shazbotdom will send 1 Pot Bellied Pig.....his name's Rooster. He eats a lot and shits a lot, he will make their nation a smuldering shit pile!!

Fruit and porn has been sent. The overweight cows has been sent to attk Escrew. We believe the attk will occur withen the 3rd month of 2006 when they finally get there.

The Republic of Siap is sending the Rabbit from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. We want our fruit basket!!! We'll also throw in the dead parrot from the dead parrot sketch (No, he's just resting)

FRuit have been sent even though tragically the dead parrot was resting and fell to his death when we threw him off a building to bomb Escrew. CErmonys are being held.

i wonder if he knows this yet.

The Imperial Republic of Hataria will Send Zackaroth 20 Newly Built Nehernia Class Battleships to help in his war against EScrew.

~Electronic Communication to Zackaroth~
Despite us having no record of such a nation existing, I am sending 400 schoolgirls armed with slingshots. They are quite deadly for some reason.
-Dictator Enigma
~End Communication~

The Federation is willing to do its share by supplying the attacking forces with 500 slightly rotten cobs of corn. Good luck, and godspeed.

Having once met your delegation somewhere at an event which we can't really remember, a senior ministry official noted the Zackaroth group was particularly festive. With this in mind our nation has decided to assist you in this matter. We will be sending 50,000 pounds of Swiss Cheese, 50 cases of Cool Whip dressing, 153 gallons of unpasturized goat milk, 254 pounds of assorted christmas candy leftovers, and 1284 tubs of Cottage Cheese.

Feed your armies well.


Good luck in your endeavor.

J. Wales
Prime Minister
Holy Republic of Hawdawg

~Electronic Communication to Zackaroth~
Despite us having no record of such a nation existing, I am sending 400 schoolgirls armed with slingshots. They are quite deadly for some reason.
-Dictator Enigma
~End Communication~


THank you but for some reason a few nights after we put them in the men's barracks they were all perganant. Care to explain this foul treachery!!!!!

The Republic of Siap is sending the Rabbit from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
Noooo!!

THank you but for some reason a few nights after we put them in the men's barracks they were all perganant. Care to explain this foul treachery!!!!!

Personally, I would have thought it obvious that you don't put them in the men's barracks.

OOC: Unless you nation is Sarkarasetans, they can't get pregnant. Humans and Sarkarasetans are not genetically similar enough to breed. While I enjoyed the laugh, I just wanted to point this out.

Yeah well. Your a big stupid head and your nation is a pile poop. Ok. Now go one and cry to your mommy or somthing.


OOC: Could of told they were of a diffrent race

Yeah well. Your a big stupid head and your nation is a pile poop. Ok. Now go one and cry to your mommy or somthing.

"Sir, you're reply?" Orbez asked.

"Arrange an accident for their leader," Enigma said.

OOC: Could of told they were of a diffrent race

OOC: Meh. I thought most people would read the factbook before RPing.

Today The Zackaroth army got to try its POKING STICK OF DOOM!!! It is a big wodden stick held by 3 men that poke the enemey into defeat.

I send the last gay in the village, (my lil bro) he'll get them all to submit also i'm sending you a truck load of crazed munchkins (they like pie..... lot's of pie) be warned they are very very very annoying do NOT return to sender!!!!!


Great Dictator Of PHGS Weyr

p.s don't like oranges but pineapple is good send lots.

p.p.s the munchkins are best used droped from a very great hight and left for dead.

Today The Zackaroth army got to try its POKING STICK OF DOOM!!! It is a big wodden stick held by 3 men that poke the enemey into defeat.

Umm, Zackaroth, I would advise you not point that Poking Stick of Doom at Dictator Enigma.. you thought the attck by the Real Anime Liberation Movement was bad.

I gleefully send myself, armed with my trusty dual spear(basically a staff with serrated spear points on both ends) and clothed in mythril chain mail. EScrew is doomed.
-President Carpenter

OOC: Well, I see eScrew is now destroyed (good work there!), but I missed the actual battle. Anybody have a recap?

The Oppressed Peoples of Asshelmetta opened our borders to refugees from our neighbor and irritant eScrew. All fleeing Zen Masters have been interned in re-education camps.

OOC: not that it'll do much good. he'll be back as eScreweScrew before you know it.

Henrytopia is safe guarded by attacks from EScrew and any of it zen masters. Here is an excerpt from a recent development..

In an unprecedented act of godmodding, The Protectorate of Henrytopia announced today that it was removing the entire nation to a radically different dimension where no fanatical zen masters ever existed in the past or will ever exist in the future. This portal in the space-time continuum has been forever locked and bound so that radical, ridiculous zenites may never follow.

OOC: I thought locking eScrew out of the region of Zen was a particularly funny move. Kudos!

Henrytopia is in the process of passing legislation to eradicate the term 'zen master(s)' from any literary works or mentioned in the news unless it is directly related to comic books or printed on toilet paper.