Senseless Hedonism
22-12-2004, 23:02
On behalf of Senseless Hedonism, the following letter has been submitted to random citizens in every country in the UN, trusting that the pious and noble citizens that receive this letter forward it to the appropriate national leader.
Congratulations, world leader! Your nation, ___________, has agreed to enter into an international treaty with The Nomadic Peoples of Senseless Hedonism!
I, _______, hereby endebt my nation, ________, independent of the ruling body of my nation, to Senseless Hedonism's defense against wrongful attack. Provided Senseless Hedonism establishes a legitimate government, is free of humanitarian crises, and halts all nuclear research for the duration, I will defend Senseless Hedonism against wrongful attack.
__________ (name)
__________ (country)
__________ (signature)
Please return this letter in the included pre-paid envelope.
Also included in the envelope are dozens of photos.
Photos of decapitated bodies, starving children, and eyeless citizens.
The humanitarian crisis in Senseless Hedonism has reached a climax. In the past 3 months, there have been reported over 4 million deaths at the hands of the increasingly powerful biker gang, "Hitler's Honkeys". While a disproportionate number of the victims are Jews, the group claims to be attempting to control the politics of Senseless Hedonism by eradicating the non-criminal drug-using interest group composed almost entirely of people with red hair.
The weak, ugly, and flatulent president of Senseless Hedonism, whose name I forget, recently (it was like, Tuesday I think?) met with the leader of Hitler's Honkeys to discuss a truce. Due to the ideological nature of the gang, the president...I think, John, maybe?...offered to give up a number (like, all) of government positions to benefactors and members of Hitler's Honkeys.
In a shroom-induced delirium, a blonde-haired hippy stumbled into the dilapitated shack the meeting was held in (it's hard to get people to pay their taxes in Senseless Hedonism), suggesting that, quote, "like we should get like foreign countries to like enforce this idea." Both John (?) and the other guy were like totally smitten by the idea.
A non-profit organization known as "Publisher's Clearing House Political Interest Committee" is in charge of informing other countries of Senseless Hedonism's wishes.
I know this reporter isn't alone in saying, like, help us. Please.
Congratulations, world leader! Your nation, ___________, has agreed to enter into an international treaty with The Nomadic Peoples of Senseless Hedonism!
I, _______, hereby endebt my nation, ________, independent of the ruling body of my nation, to Senseless Hedonism's defense against wrongful attack. Provided Senseless Hedonism establishes a legitimate government, is free of humanitarian crises, and halts all nuclear research for the duration, I will defend Senseless Hedonism against wrongful attack.
__________ (name)
__________ (country)
__________ (signature)
Please return this letter in the included pre-paid envelope.
Also included in the envelope are dozens of photos.
Photos of decapitated bodies, starving children, and eyeless citizens.
The humanitarian crisis in Senseless Hedonism has reached a climax. In the past 3 months, there have been reported over 4 million deaths at the hands of the increasingly powerful biker gang, "Hitler's Honkeys". While a disproportionate number of the victims are Jews, the group claims to be attempting to control the politics of Senseless Hedonism by eradicating the non-criminal drug-using interest group composed almost entirely of people with red hair.
The weak, ugly, and flatulent president of Senseless Hedonism, whose name I forget, recently (it was like, Tuesday I think?) met with the leader of Hitler's Honkeys to discuss a truce. Due to the ideological nature of the gang, the president...I think, John, maybe?...offered to give up a number (like, all) of government positions to benefactors and members of Hitler's Honkeys.
In a shroom-induced delirium, a blonde-haired hippy stumbled into the dilapitated shack the meeting was held in (it's hard to get people to pay their taxes in Senseless Hedonism), suggesting that, quote, "like we should get like foreign countries to like enforce this idea." Both John (?) and the other guy were like totally smitten by the idea.
A non-profit organization known as "Publisher's Clearing House Political Interest Committee" is in charge of informing other countries of Senseless Hedonism's wishes.
I know this reporter isn't alone in saying, like, help us. Please.