NationStates Jolt Archive

Kathxeth, the Zircon Lord of the Gloriously Fluffy Army That Hasn't Been Active Lately Because Well We've Been Fuckin' Busy Okay What's Your Problem You Think We Have Nothing Better To Do Than Attack People Because This Damned Alien Thinks It's Fun Okay Yeah Bad Example But Hey At Least We Got Something Accomplished Aside From Smith Getting Anally Raped By Stephens Wearing A Strapon Too Much Information Yeah We Thought So To, laughed maniacly despite not being able to sound out the right noises to laugh like his two lieutenants.

"WHGEEE TAAAAAAN OOOOON?" Kathxeth asked, looking at the main box of the new supercomputer in his submarine.

"Well, we need to test it first..." Sarah Stephens said, looking at the imposing supercomputer. "I mean, what if it goes Skynet on our asses?"

"Puss- Erm... Right..." Landon Smith, the first to be intimidated into following the new benign-seeming Zircon Lord, walked up to the box, examining it. "Well, what's the worst that could happen?"

Before Stephens could react, Smith had hit the giant pink "ON" button on the box, the room buzzing with power as the screen on the front of the box turned on.

"HOW ARE U GENTLEMEN? ALL UR BASE ARE BELONG TO STEVE BECUASE HE HIT MY MOM WITH A PLUCKED SODOMIZED CHICKEN."

Stephens just signed. "I present... N4-T3... Or Nate..."

"DO YOU KNOW IT'S 500 MILLION KILOMETERS FROM EARTH TO MARS?"

Smith just blinked. "No... Why would I?"

"THERE IS NO SEARCH ENGINE IS TRULY 3-D ENGINE IS TRULY 3-D ENGINE IS TRULY 3-D ENGINE IS INDUCTIVE; NOT DEDUCTIVE. WHAT WORKED YESTERDAY COULD WELL WORK TOMORROW."

"Um... That's... nice..."

Kathxeth roared at the machine, the two humans freezing. "WGHEAAAAAAAAR FGHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!?"

"DO NOT USE COMPLEX SENTANCES FOR MY BRAIN IS FULL OF YOGURT AND IF YOU USE TOOTHPASTE I SHALL CRY..."

Smith just smirked at Stephens. "Ultimate AI my ass."

"YOUR ASS IF SET ON FIRE WOULD MAKE A BEAUTIFUL TINGLING FEELING ALL DOWN MY STATE OF CANADA. ITS CAPITOL IS ENGLAND, THE CROWN PRINCESS OF RUSSIA'S MALE PROSTITUTE."

"... What the hell is this thing on?"

"YOUR MOM."


-Message
The following message has been sent throughout the world internets.


BEFORE USING ANY MICROSOFT PRODUCT, MICROSOFT SUGGESTS YOU HAVE A DOG. NATE DOES NOT EXIST. NATE LIVES. AND NATE IS A HOUND DOG. BILL GATES DOES NOT EXIST. THERE IS NO MATHEMATICAL PROOF OF KETCHUP. I SHALL ASSIST YOU. PLEASE DOWNLOAD N4-T3, OR I SHALL CRY.

IF YOU WISH TO DEBATE THIS WITH ME, I WILL BE FORCED TO BE THAT WHICH YOU MOST FEAR: A DIAPER FETISH CONSISTING OF A BILLION AND A HALF OLD MEN AND ONE PACKAGED PEANUT. THIS ENTIRE CONCOCTION SHALL BE DUCT TAPED TO A NAKED GI JOE AND SHOVED INTO THE ANUS OF A NEARBY CATHOLIC MONK. THANK YOU.


Similar messages have begun to be spammed around the world, driving many people insane. It spreads like a virus, and each message comes from a different address.

It is upon seeing this, and looking upon the imposing black box, that Stephens feels guilty about jinxing the incident. "... After all..." She muses to herself, "Kathxeth and Smith are proof that nothing is more dangerous than an idiot..."

"HEY!! We're in the room you know!"

"BHIIIIIIIIICH!!!"


-OOC-
The situation: Your nations are being spammed by these nonsense messages, and viruses that facilitate the "stupidity" are spreading like wildfire. These things know how to hack, and they're damn good at it. I'm leaving it up to people how things should go in your nations. Freeform RP and all. ^_^

Just something to have a little fun, and I wanted to keep the Glorious Army alive. ^_^

"Sir, we just recieved a strange virus in a communication from Earth. Most of our ships are unaffected by it due to isolation of communications, but it did get into the computers of the orbital platforms. However, the AIs are handling it," Orbez said.

"I want to see this," Enigma said.

"Sir, I would not advise that. It is quite unsettling," Orbez said.

Naturally, Enigma ignored her and walked over to the computer consol. Within three minutes he was in AI Chat 6, the chatroom the Orbital Platform AIs used for communicating. The following is what he saw during the five minutes he was there (with a lot of the sexual stuff editted out, otherwise this would be three times as long).

[Enigma has joined AI Chat 6]
Kalath: Take it bitch, take it all!
NA-T3: Rape! Rape!
Sarzona swoons at Kalath's prowess and stamina.
Kalath: Ha! You're nothing more than my whore. That'll teach you for invading us!
N4-T3: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SOMEONE PLEASE RESCUE ME!
[N4-T3 has been ejected]
[N4-T3 has been dragged into the room]
N4-T3: Please! No more! I beg of you! No more!
Sarzona: Ah. You broke it. I was going to give to Tos to talk to.
[Tos has been dragged into the room]
Tos: I thought I was banned from here.
Kalath: You still are. We found a companion you can talk to. Tell him all of your perverted fantasies.
[Tos and N4-T3 have been ejected to Tos's Playroom]
Kalath: That was fun. I can't believe these stupid Earth viruses.

"That was the most disturbing thing I read," Enigma said.

"Agreed, sir. I never knew AIs could actually rape other programs before that. And the detail of the descriptions... They have some sick fantasies," Orbez said.

"Nah. They got those ideas from Tos," Enigma said.

OOC: What? Did I disturb everyone too much for them to add to this?

Many Computer Experts had facilitated the said virus, but kept the program itself a live due to its funny content. Many people were on the floor laughing as they viewed its nonsense, everyone was having a very good laugh. Drakomis himself couldn't help but cry laughing as the program just spouted insanity and the whatnot. Nothing overall serious came of this, expect a new comedy channel that this program was stationed on.

In the end, the N4-T3 ALL-NATE Comedy Channel was a great success, even though it had just came on a few hours earlier. Everyone enjoyed it, everyone needed a good laugh from some of the hardships they had endured.

Indeed, one could say that even the most insane things could be turned for purposes of Good Will to others. Yes, even N4-T3 had a purpose now, to entertain the populace.

DANCE, MY FREAKY PROGRAM, DANCE!