NationStates Jolt Archive

Have you grown weary of conquering and subjugating small nations, oppressing the weak, and kicking puppies?

We didn’t think so.

Announcing the grand opening of the Evil Dictator’s Lounge and Gentleman’s Club, the only all exclusive club created solely for the entertainment of heartless powermongers and vicious tyrants the world over.

Located in the lavish Alexei district in beautiful Generia City, the Evil Dictator’s Lounge and Gentleman’s Club is complete with two fully stocked bars, a comfortable atmosphere, beautiful women who will cater to your every desire, a staff of frighteningly polite Shoobooshabaan slaves, trained monkeys, a Polish football team, and every other comfort and entertainment worthy of the most base and callous individuals.

Relax in the well furnished Alexei room and smoke hand rolled Havanas while our slaves lick the ashes off of your finely polished shoes. Throw darts in the ‘Sarajevo’ lounge with Fidel Castro as you enjoy the music of Dutch jazz pianist Geert Bleeker, kidnapped from Amsterdam solely for your amusement. For the more cultured despot, enjoy our selection of fine art, Rembrants and Van Goghs stolen from museums across the world.

The Evil Dictator’s Lounge and Gentleman’s Club is sure to provide you with the opportunity to unwind after a hard day of genocide and ruthless oppression as you rub elbows with others of your noble profession.

As we here at the Lounge try to maintain an exclusive atmosphere to preserve the highest possible standards of evil and corruption, we are a members only club. Register for full membership today, and let our fleet of private aircraft bring you to the only place free from the watchful eyes of the annoying forces of justice and those pesky U.N. inspection teams.

Members list (all government officials from these nations are welcome at the EDLAGC):

Generic Empire
Borman Empire*
Freudotopia
Draconis Federation
The Island of Rose
Roach-Busters*
Doomingsland
Nikalaos the Great
Risban
Wirraway
Draconis Nightcrawlis
Samtonia*
The Parthians
Chellis*
The Merchant Guilds
Inkana
Xerisia*
Holy Paradise
The Burnsian Desert
The Real ALM
Pimpin' Hood*
Waylend
Tyrandis*
The Emperor Fenix
Zarbia
Nutropinia*
LaMorai*
Keloon*
Godular*
Psychopathic Warmongers
Ruthless Slaughter
Mass Pwnage
Fascist Confedracy*
Harrylandia
Nation of Fortune*
The Umbrella Corporation
The Warmaster


Members marked with a * have made various contributions to the club, through additions or monetary donations.

Added an RP thread for plotting evil schemes and whatnot:

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=383243

((OOC: Technically, Sergei is a gentleman :x. TAG :P))

I "Consul" Dala Vedra of the Draconis Federation, formally request to become a full member.

join dude

I "Consul" Dala Vedra of the Draconis Federation, formally request to become a full member.

Congratulations! Your membership has been approved. Welcome to the club.

Official Statement from The International Confederation of The Island of Rose:

I personally request to join this club. I might not be an Evil Dictator, but I am a Gentleman and I am well known around Evil Dictatorship circles. And yes, I know Emporer Antinous personally.
Sergei Ilyanov
President of The Island of Rose (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Byeltsin.jpg)
http://img80.exs.cx/img80/4857/tr69fg.gif

((OOC: Is he still in power?))

Official Statement from The International Confederation of The Island of Rose:

I personally request to join this club. I might not be an Evil Dictator, but I am a Gentleman and I am well known around Evil Dictatorship circles. And yes, I know Emporer Antinous personally.
Sergei Ilyanov
President of The Island of Rose (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Byeltsin.jpg)
http://img80.exs.cx/img80/4857/tr69fg.gif

Despite your not being a particularly evil dictator, because of Emperor Antonius's personal request to allow your membership, we have indeed approved you. Welcome to the club.

and back to the top

Whether Generalissimo J.L. is a benevolent beacon of kindness or an odious, despotic epitome of evil has long been the subject of debate. Nevertheless, he requests membership in this intriguing club.

The emperor requests membership to this fun club.

Emperor Atticus requests membership into this club.

As President Holtz is a moral family man, and not evil, he will not request membership. However, he asks you to send 8 bottles of your finest wine for romantic dinners with his wife. You shall receive a check of 20,000 Gold Coins to pay for the wine and to help fund the club.
-Jeremiah Brown, Aide to President John Holtz.

Emperor Scorpius of the Empire of Risban requests permission to enter this club from time to time.

Emperor Atticus requests membership into this club.

(OOC: WTF? What happened to Emperor Nikolaos?)

(OOC: WTF? What happened to Emperor Nikolaos?)
OOC: http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=383179

Achilles Brown requests a membership to this esteemed club.

Whether Generalissimo J.L. is a benevolent beacon of kindness or an odious, despotic epitome of evil has long been the subject of debate. Nevertheless, he requests membership in this intriguing club.

Of course President J.L.'s membership here will be welcomed and accepted. Feel free to drop in whenever you find the time.

The emperor requests membership to this fun club.

And naturally he is approved. Welcome to the club.

Emperor Atticus requests membership into this club.

The Emperor's membership is hereby approved. Welcome.

As President Holtz is a moral family man, and not evil, he will not request membership. However, he asks you to send 8 bottles of your finest wine for romantic dinners with his wife. You shall receive a check of 20,000 Gold Coins to pay for the wine and to help fund the club.
-Jeremiah Brown, Aide to President John Holtz.

Of course membership in this club is most voluntary, and we would be happy to honor your request for 8 bottles of our finest wine, a Generian merlot from the vineyards in southern Generia. We also thank you most heartily for the most gracious payment.

Emperor Scorpius of the Empire of Risban requests permission to enter this club from time to time.

The Emperor has been granted a full membership. Feel free to drop in at your leisure.

Achilles Brown requests a membership to this esteemed club.

The coordinator has been given a full membership.We are certain you shall enjoy yourself here.

((OOC: I'll make an RP thread for when your respective members decide to drop in.))

bump

Of course President J.L.'s membership here will be welcomed and accepted. Feel free to drop in whenever you find the time.

(OOC: Thanks, but it's Generalissimo J.L. now.)

I, Lord Azazel, wish to recieve membership this interesting club.

I'll join. I mean, I look like freaking Ernst Stavros Blofeld from the pictures of me that you can see!

Plus, I'm willing to do whatever it takes to further Samtonia, be it building giant lasers on spacestations, drilling nukes into the planet's core, or even cackling madly.

And come on, look at some of my advisors....err, fellow council members. Drucker, dear God. The man looks like a dinosaur. With a man like that by my side, how can't I be evil?
http://img94.exs.cx/img94/7525/JamesDruckerMinisterofForeignAffairs.jpg
James Drucker, Minister of Economics

http://img94.exs.cx/img94/2290/Clipboard12.jpg
Minister X, Leader of Samtonian Council of Thirteen

I, Lord Azazel, wish to recieve membership this interesting club.

Your membership has been approved.

I'll join. I mean, I look like freaking Ernst Stavros Blofeld from the pictures of me that you can see!

Plus, I'm willing to do whatever it takes to further Samtonia, be it building giant lasers on spacestations, drilling nukes into the planet's core, or even cackling madly.

And come on, look at some of my advisors....err, fellow council members. Drucker, dear God. The man looks like a dinosaur. With a man like that by my side, how can't I be evil?
http://img94.exs.cx/img94/7525/JamesDruckerMinisterofForeignAffairs.jpg
James Drucker, Minister of Economics

http://img94.exs.cx/img94/2290/Clipboard12.jpg
Minister X, Leader of Samtonian Council of Thirteen

Yes, you make an excellent point. With a mysterious head of state, an ever present white cat, and the willingness to cackle madly, you must of course be admitted as quickly as possible.

Good. I'll send construction tems to begin building an add-on to your building then at this time, if you don't mind. Samtonia will graciouslly pay forand construct a tasteful addition to your building- the premium conference room.

From holding ransoms of heads of state to debating on what to do next, this excellent conference room will leave you cackling madly and the pesky do-gooders scratching their heads in amazement before being gunned down by guards.

With oak panelling, gold chandeliers and candelabras, high-backed bullet-proof leather chairs, and walls and a ceiling sturdy enough to withstand a nuclear blast, C-4 charge, or multi-division assault, the chamber will quickly become the nucleus of any future planning the club may have to do.

Estimated cost is somewhere around 20 billion USD, but we'll give you it for free. The gift of membership. However, we get to decide who sits where, in order of joining the club. This is our only request for this room, as I don't want any pesky cameras being able to see my face. It's difficult too stay a secretive leader when you've got the friggin' paparazzi after you!

http://img94.exs.cx/img94/2290/Clipboard12.jpg
Minister X, Leader of Samtonian Council of Thirteen

Good. I'll send construction tems to begin building an add-on to your building then at this time, if you don't mind. Samtonia will graciouslly pay forand construct a tasteful addition to your building- the premium conference room.

From holding ransoms of heads of state to debating on what to do next, this excellent conference room will leave you cackling madly and the pesky do-gooders scratching their heads in amazement before being gunned down by guards.

With oak panelling, gold chandeliers and candelabras, high-backed bullet-proof leather chairs, and walls and a ceiling sturdy enough to withstand a nuclear blast, C-4 charge, or multi-division assault, the chamber will quickly become the nucleus of any future planning the club may have to do.

Estimated cost is somewhere around 20 billion USD, but we'll give you it for free. The gift of membership. However, we get to decide who sits where, in order of joining the club. This is our only request for this room, as I don't want any pesky cameras being able to see my face. It's difficult too stay a secretive leader when you've got the friggin' paparazzi after you!

http://img94.exs.cx/img94/2290/Clipboard12.jpg
Minister X, Leader of Samtonian Council of Thirteen

Ah, by all means. We welcome the addition, however we do request that a trap door leading to a tank full of pirhanna be added, a surprise for the forces of justice.

((OOC: An IC thread for your leaders' arrivals and subsequent antics at the EDLAGC:

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=7758329#post7758329 ))

Ah, but of course. We'll put it right under the chair marked "DO NOT SIT ON: SOURCE OF VILLAIN'S POWER"

And another by the door. Just in case. Although we're going to go ahead and put in mutant piranhai[OOC=-ae?-ai?-as?] who secret some type of highly corrosive substance and have their genes modified to make them receptive to laser beams placed upon their heads.

And the usual laser traps, automated guns, actual sentry posts, fake sentry posts, lighting, escape holes, etc.. wil be added as necessary, free of charge, unless we need money.

Oh, and as for seating and stuff. You will get the head of the massive conference table. The people who have joined will get seats, in descending order, around the table, which will be added to if needed. To prevent anyone from seeing my face with a camera, I'll be in a special "Flash-proof, camera-proof" booth up above the conference table's height a bit, so I can see the people at the table and so my cat can easily get out of the booth and crawl around if she wants.

And we'll all get the exact some chairs. All high enough so no heads can be seen and wide enough so that all can be used to barricade the main entrance if necessary.

http://img94.exs.cx/img94/2290/Clipboard12.jpg
Minister X, Leader of Samtonian Council of Thirteen

Ah, but of course. We'll put it right under the chair marked "DO NOT SIT ON: SOURCE OF VILLAIN'S POWER"

And another by the door. Just in case. Although we're going to go ahead and put in mutant piranhai[OOC=-ae?-ai?-as?] who secret some type of highly corrosive substance and have their genes modified to make them receptive to laser beams placed upon their heads.

And the usual laser traps, automated guns, actual sentry posts, fake sentry posts, lighting, escape holes, etc.. wil be added as necessary, free of charge, unless we need money.

Oh, and as for seating and stuff. You will get the head of the massive conference table. The people who have joined will get seats, in descending order, around the table, which will be added to if needed. To prevent anyone from seeing my face with a camera, I'll be in a special "Flash-proof, camera-proof" booth up above the conference table's height a bit, so I can see the people at the table and so my cat can easily get out of the booth and crawl around if she wants.

And we'll all get the exact some chairs. All high enough so no heads can be seen and wide enough so that all can be used to barricade the main entrance if necessary.

http://img94.exs.cx/img94/2290/Clipboard12.jpg
Minister X, Leader of Samtonian Council of Thirteen

Excellent. I can see we made no mistake in admitting you. I had nearly forgotten to specify my intention to equip the pirhanna with laserbeams.

bump

His majesty Shah Khosru III, King of Kings, Brother to the Sun and Moon, Beloved by Ahura Mazda has expressed to me interest in joining the club. Our beloved Shah has long been ruling Parthia with an iron fis.... er.... loving hand... euhh... yeah.... and believes his rule of tyranny and opp.... er... loving his people more than qualifies him for membership in this club of despo....er... happy nice rulers.

-Some Government Clerk


When the message had been sent two soldiers broke through the doors and threw handcuffs around the clerk for thought crimes and threw him into the black security van, never to be heard from again.

We would like to not only become members, but establish a wing to the club, a library of the finest works of evil dictators, as well as a shooting range and other goodies. We would also like to send some chellian special operations troops as guards for the club. Never know when some good doer feels they need to kill people to fill that hole that develops from a lack of kicking puppies.

His majesty Shah Khosru III, King of Kings, Brother to the Sun and Moon, Beloved by Ahura Mazda has expressed to me interest in joining the club. Our beloved Shah has long been ruling Parthia with an iron fis.... er.... loving hand... euhh... yeah.... and believes his rule of tyranny and opp.... er... loving his people more than qualifies him for membership in this club of despo....er... happy nice rulers.

-Some Government Clerk


When the message had been sent two soldiers broke through the doors and threw handcuffs around the clerk for thought crimes and threw him into the black security van, never to be heard from again.

His majesty the Shah shall be granted full and complete membsership to the Evil Dictator's Lounge and Gentleman's Club.

We would like to not only become members, but establish a wing to the club, a library of the finest works of evil dictators, as well as a shooting range and other goodies. We would also like to send some chellian special operations troops as guards for the club. Never know when some good doer feels they need to kill people to fill that hole that develops from a lack of kicking puppies.

Your membership has been approved. We thank you for the most generous offer to establish an additional wing, and will of course welcome the addition. Chellian special operations troops will of course be permitted to compliment the Imperial Praetorians and other assorted goons already providing security for the club. We can never be too careful when dealing with those pesky forces of justice. Damn them and their lack of mean...

Lord Sta'coth sat there in front of a holo-screen in the Guild Palace in Alpha Colony, Sol System...

An advert flashed up on the screen...

'An advert for an evil dictators club... how fun... I must join. After all what is such an organisation without us... the millenia old darkness.'

To: Generic Empire

We would wish to become part of this club. Lord Stra'coth has expressed a personal interest in getting to know some of it's members better and we already know a few well enough. We consider our so called 'crimes' (genetic manipulation, mass species experimentation, several billion deaths, bombarding defenseless planets, torture etc the list is pretty huge) to be to the benefit of the species and the future.

We would also like to ask if you have any single malt... since Lord Stra'coth is rather partial to it...

Regards,

The Shadows

OOC: Great idea though G.E.

"This is not good, we must contribute."

We will be building an underground garage able to hold 2 bulletproof limos for each member, vans to carry away all surviving personel, and a semi-bulletproof helicoptor for each member. The aviary exit will be a large trap door covered with a hill so that no forces of justice will be able to tell that evil resides below it. ANd of course several ramps for the vehicles leading to multiple concealed entrances much like that of Batman, so they can be sealed.

Also we will be providing several champagne fountains from teh SEATO party AND 300 competent guards. I hate how evil villans always have their plans ruined by incompetent guards. Hundreds of men with automatic weapons should be able to AT LEAST wound a hero. Yet they never do, btu not with these men.

((OOC: Excuse any mistakes, Im in the basemnet which has lost heat and I cant quite feel my fingers))

Lord Sta'coth sat there in front of a holo-screen in the Guild Palace in Alpha Colony, Sol System...

An advert flashed up on the screen...

'An advert for an evil dictators club... how fun... I must join. After all what is such an organisation without us... the millenia old darkness.'

To: Generic Empire

We would wish to become part of this club. Lord Stra'coth has expressed a personal interest in getting to know some of it's members better and we already know a few well enough. We consider our so called 'crimes' (genetic manipulation, mass species experimentation, several billion deaths, bombarding defenseless planets, torture etc the list is pretty huge) to be to the benefit of the species and the future.

We would also like to ask if you have any single malt... since Lord Stra'coth is rather partial to it...

Regards,

The Shadows

OOC: Great idea though G.E.

((OOC: Thanks. I thought so myself.))

Your record is more than sufficient to account for a full membership. Welcome to the club. With regard to your question on the availability of single malt, of course it will be made available in preparation for Lord Stra'coth's visits.

Official Statement

Whilst the government of Zoogiedom is not particularly large and a far cry from a dictatorship, President Hanelis would like to attend the Lounge for 'purely observatory' purposes.

Signed,

----

******

"Wait a minute, Mr. President," cried the Defense Secretary Dredon, cornering him. "Now see here, you aren't about to not take me along, are you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why, I'm the PERFECT form of a cruel and unyielding dictator!"

"Well, you're psycho enough, I'll give you that..."

Dredon pressed on. "While you, sire, have shown time and time again that you have utter disregard for such activities!"

"Since?"

"How many times did you try to rein us in during Uberstock, eh? We were about to have a good lot of fun 'til you showed up with all your 'honor this' and 'valour that." Dredon paused. "You're not right for this. You know you aren't cruel, you're not raging, you're not a dictator. You barely have the capacity for anger. Me..."

"Oh fine," said Hanelis, relenting finally. "You may come along. But nobody, NOBODY else."

"Okay," said Dredon, grinning like a boy given candy.

Then the rather explosive state secretary, Dailey, stepped from the shadows. "What about me?"

The President sighed, a great, heaving sigh.

PM to Emperor Antonius

Would you mind if a few of my associates came along?

"This is not good, we must contribute."

We will be building an underground garage able to hold 2 bulletproof limos for each member, vans to carry away all surviving personel, and a semi-bulletproof helicoptor for each member. The aviary exit will be a large trap door covered with a hill so that no forces of justice will be able to tell that evil resides below it. ANd of course several ramps for the vehicles leading to multiple concealed entrances much like that of Batman, so they can be sealed.

Also we will be providing several champagne fountains from teh SEATO party AND 300 competent guards. I hate how evil villans always have their plans ruined by incompetent guards. Hundreds of men with automatic weapons should be able to AT LEAST wound a hero. Yet they never do, btu not with these men.

((OOC: Excuse any mistakes, Im in the basemnet which has lost heat and I cant quite feel my fingers))

We thank you for your contributions. It does seem that the forces of justice these days do have a higher tolerance for bullets.

Official Statement

Whilst the government of Zoogiedom is not particularly large and a far cry from a dictatorship, President Hanelis would like to attend the Lounge for 'purely observatory' purposes.

Signed,

----

******

"Wait a minute, Mr. President," cried the Defense Secretary Dredon, cornering him. "Now see here, you aren't about to not take me along, are you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why, I'm the PERFECT form of a cruel and unyielding dictator!"

"Well, you're psycho enough, I'll give you that..."

Dredon pressed on. "While you, sire, have shown time and time again that you have utter disregard for such activities!"

"Since?"

"How many times did you try to rein us in during Uberstock, eh? We were about to have a good lot of fun 'til you showed up with all your 'honor this' and 'valour that." Dredon paused. "You're not right for this. You know you aren't cruel, you're not raging, you're not a dictator. You barely have the capacity for anger. Me..."

"Oh fine," said Hanelis, relenting finally. "You may come along. But nobody, NOBODY else."

"Okay," said Dredon, grinning like a boy given candy.

Then the rather explosive state secretary, Dailey, stepped from the shadows. "What about me?"

The President sighed, a great, heaving sigh.

PM to Emperor Antonius

Would you mind if a few of my associates came along?

While we cannot at this time allow you full membership status, on account of a distinct lack of dictatorship in your nation, as TZP was a major part of the last Uberstock, and upon personal request of Lord Antonius, you will be permitted to attend the EDLAGC for observatory purposes, though your acces to the more evil wings will be restricted.

Of course, of course; that is most acceptable.

--

"All the more incentive for me to take over this country," grinned Dredon evilly.

"Now, now..." Hanelis snapped his fingers, calling for his attendant. "Henson! The man needs his meds!"

"Right away, sir..."

bump

(OOC: Are any of you going to post in the IC thread?)

Could Kriegor Zan Varr ask for full time membership, he is interested in discussing many issues with his compatriots from other nations.

We'd also be willing to contribute 50 million USD to see that this club flourishes.

Yours,

Grand Inquisitorial Lord Matthias, Keeper of the Seal, Guardian of the Tome

Could Kriegor Zan Varr ask for full time membership, he is interested in discussing many issues with his compatriots from other nations.

We'd also be willing to contribute 50 million USD to see that this club flourishes.

Yours,

Grand Inquisitorial Lord Matthias, Keeper of the Seal, Guardian of the Tome

The membership of Kriegor Zan Varr has been approved. Welcome to the club.

((OOC: On an unrelated note, I'm thinking that the club should undertake plotting an unecessarily complex evil scheme sometime in the near future.))

Oh really I do hope it is quite, Dreadfull, no?

(OOC: Are any of you going to post in the IC thread?)


Done so.

His holiness, Lord Emperor Arkkonis requests membership into this Evil Dictator's club. Upon acceptance, his holiness will supply the club with 50 beautiful women hand selected from his harem for any purpose the management deems fit.

With best regards, His Holiness, Lord Emperor Arkkonis of Xerisia.

Kriegor Zan Varr thanks you and will be arriving shortly.

Yours,

Grand Inquisitorial Lord Matthias, Keeper of the Seal, Guardian of the Tome

CEO Franz Josepf would be delighted to join this exclusive club.

bump

His holiness, Lord Emperor Arkkonis requests membership into this Evil Dictator's club. Upon acceptance, his holiness will supply the club with 50 beautiful women hand selected from his harem for any purpose the management deems fit.

With best regards, His Holiness, Lord Emperor Arkkonis of Xerisia.

The Lord Emperor Arkkonis has been granted full membership, and we are grateful for your offered contribution. There is no such thing as too many beautiful women.

CEO Franz Josepf would be delighted to join this exclusive club.

And so he shall. A full membership has been granted Mr. Josepf, and we look forward to seeing him here at the lounge.

bump

Cyrus Lanier, the dictator and head of the mercenary army of Naton of Fortune, wishes to join this most esteemed club.

Cyrus Lanier, the dictator and head of the mercenary army of Naton of Fortune, wishes to join this most esteemed club.

Mr. Lanier has been granted full membership.

Mr. Lanier has been granted full membership.
He sends his deepest thanks and will be heading there shortly.

bump

I the supreme Lord and Master of Cammolot request membership in this little club to show our sincerity we donate 100 tanks 50 missiles with chemical agents an twenty children to be used as you want. :mp5:

Maybe I could join?

"Children! We are not a coalition of perverts and Michael Jacksopn groupies. We are a coalition of evil dictators and to me it seems you're tryign to join a pedophile club."

SECRET IC:

"I, Kimiko Ayasugi of the Real ALM, would like to join this club. I think that the bombing of several expressways in the name of anime makes me quite 'evil' by world standards."

SECRET IC:

"I, Kimiko Ayasugi of the Real ALM, would like to join this club. I think that the bombing of several expressways in the name of anime makes me quite 'evil' by world standards."

Indeed it does. Welcome.

Supreme director Halick Mahogny would gladly bribe his way in to this fine establishment if he could.
I would gladly donate several of my nations finnest uranium tipped banana bombs, perfect for htat casual terrorisation of the weak "free" people.

They are a rare product after the destruction of my nations many forrests and only a handful remain but I am still ready to donate a hundred or so of them to this establishment.

Kim O the "Presidente" of Waylend would like to join.
Small list of evil deed done by Waylend.
Abusing Rights
Abusing Freedoms
Kicking puppies then wearing their furs
Torture
Execution
Getting young adults addicted to highly powerful drugs to make more cash.
Corporate take over
Over threw the last Presidente
letting people shoot trespassers
making people take shots that slowly make them loose nerves for pain.
Making kids work in factories
blowing up whales
taking money from the dead
Making killer robots
using killer robots
Polluted the environment
supported terrorists
And many many more!

Would you mind if I join:

Supreme Dictator Patel
I am an evil dictator planning to take over the UN and the world and unite it into one. Founder of World Dictatorship to form my member's nations like the USSR into one but cannot control it. I am Stalin and Saddam.

Statement from the Office of the Executor

"Hmmm... This association of yours is quite intriguing. I, Xavier Davidson, wish to issue my request for membership.

For reference, I have:
- Invaded foreign nations for economic concerns
- Cursed like a sailor during diplomatic negotiations
- Personally killed the Politburo after leading a capitalist revolution, all three hundred
- Committed mass murder of communists, Nazis, furries, KKKers, et al., including a mime
- Kicked kittens, puppies, and other small woodland creatures
- Brutally suppressed any and all forms of public protest
- Ordered the nuclear annihilation of two nations
- Etc.

Also, I would like to make a donation of two billion dollars to the facility, wired from my personal account."

http://www.zellfantasy.it/strate7/ico_cloud2.gif
Executor Xavier Davidson
Executor of the Imperium

Supreme director Halick Mahogny would gladly bribe his way in to this fine establishment if he could.
I would gladly donate several of my nations finnest uranium tipped banana bombs, perfect for htat casual terrorisation of the weak "free" people.

They are a rare product after the destruction of my nations many forrests and only a handful remain but I am still ready to donate a hundred or so of them to this establishment.

Your nation's name is enough. No need for further explanation. Welcome aboard.

Kim O the "Presidente" of Waylend would like to join.
Small list of evil deed done by Waylend.
Abusing Rights
Abusing Freedoms
Kicking puppies then wearing their furs
Torture
Execution
Getting young adults addicted to highly powerful drugs to make more cash.
Corporate take over
Over threw the last Presidente
letting people shoot trespassers
making people take shots that slowly make them loose nerves for pain.
Making kids work in factories
blowing up whales
taking money from the dead
Making killer robots
using killer robots
Polluted the environment
supported terrorists
And many many more!

With that kind of reference, you should be running the club...but you won't be. Your membership has been approved.

Committed mass murder...including a mime

After seeing this, we must of course allow you entry into this evil establishment. We appreciate your donation.

Roman Republic, nobody cares about the U.N. so unfortunately at this time I must deny your entry into the EDLAGC. Until you have executed a truly diabolical deed, your membership will be restricted. Thank you for taking the time to apply. Please accept our gift of an exploding fruit basket as our condolence.

Roman Republic, nobody cares about the U.N. so unfortunately at this time I must deny your entry into the EDLAGC. Until you have executed a truly diabolical deed, your membership will be restricted. Thank you for taking the time to apply. Please accept our gift of an exploding fruit basket as our condolence.

Damn it

Lord Shirassi is considering requesting membership to your esteemed club, but wonders if the destruction of roughly 20 million civilians is really diabolical enough, or does he need to go out and randomly slughter some more.

Other evil acts include: The ruthless domination of several weak cultures and use of them as slaves producing cheap weapondry

pirateering

poor manners

Lord Shirassi is considering requesting membership to your esteemed club, but wonders if the destruction of roughly 20 million civilians is really diabolical enough, or does he need to go out and randomly slughter some more.

Other evil acts include: The ruthless domination of several weak cultures and use of them as slaves producing cheap weapondry

pirateering

poor manners

This will be sufficient. Lord Shirassi has been granted full membership.

President Viktor Trotzig of Zarbia more than qualifies as an evil dictator and would like to join this club.

President Viktor Trotzig of Zarbia more than qualifies as an evil dictator and would like to join this club.

A list of notorious diabolical exploits would be most appreciated.

Fascism; racism; installation of apartheid in Angola; murder; torture of POWs; attempts at genocide; murder of dissidents; etc.

Many, many crimes against humanity have been carried out by the orders of Mr. Trotzig. As well, Zarbia is on the Axis of Evil list made by imported_ViZion.

The Sovereign Armed Dictorship of Nutropinia's proud Dictator Paul 'The Mad' Silver would like to join. As a token of our appreciation we would like to donate a Giant Clock O' Doom for the clubs entertainment. To use you strap someone on the clock at the time you want them to die. When the time comes the giant razor sharp hands cut the person in two.

Fascism; racism; installation of apartheid in Angola; murder; torture of POWs; attempts at genocide; murder of dissidents; etc.

Many, many crimes against humanity have been carried out by the orders of Mr. Trotzig. As well, Zarbia is on the Axis of Evil list made by imported_ViZion.

Ah, a fellow Axis of Evil member. Welcome.

The Sovereign Armed Dictorship of Nutropinia's proud Dictator Paul 'The Mad' Silver would like to join. As a token of our appreciation we would like to donate a Giant Clock O' Doom for the clubs entertainment. To use you strap someone on the clock at the time you want them to die. When the time comes the giant razor sharp hands cut the person in two.

We appreciate the donation, and have granted Dictator Paul 'The Mad' Silver a full membership.

Okay I'm going to try this again

Dictator Patel
killed 1 million Catholics in genocide
Forced Citizens to build statues of the great Dictator
Formed the RAF(Revolutionary Armed Forces) terrorist organization to bring order in the country
Destroyed political freedoms.

Sweet, Now I have a place other than my humoungous palaces, fleet of private planes and many yachts to get boozed up, have lots of sex with gorgeous women and torture. What a glorious world.


-Dictator Paul 'The Mad' Silver

Okay I'm going to try this again

Dictator Patel
killed 1 million Catholics in genocide
Forced Citizens to build statues of the great Dictator
Formed the RAF(Revolutionary Armed Forces) terrorist organization to bring order in the country
Destroyed political freedoms.

The third is interesting, so...

Congratulations! You have been granted full membership.

"how we have grown."

Bhalk slowly wipes a tear from his eye.

"I just...I just...I just wanna kill some commie bastards to commemorate this."

There there, it just happens that I have a communist prisoner right over, here, maniacal laughter, have fun, maniacal laughter.

I am glad to see that you are an, evil... well perhaps evil is to light a word, maniacal dictator, yes that seems antiquate, NO? maniacal laughter

Tortures commie prisoner.

"Yay!"

I knew you would enjoy him, maniacal laughter.

Generalissimo J.L. would like to donate a gift to this club:

10,000 cigars
150 bottles of wine
250 stand-up comedians (we kidnap only the world's funniest)
100 musicians (same as above)
An orchestra of 130 (only the best!)
750 of the world's best cooks, specializing in everything from Italian to Chinese to Mexican to Mediterranean to Thai
45 dartboards w/4,000 darts
10 pool tables
100 arcade games
5 wet bars w/10 stools each
1 swimming pool, 1 mile by 10 miles
5 of every video game console
10,000 novels
7,500 works of non-fiction
80 big-screen TVs
10 movie theater screens
2,500 dancing girls
A really big-ass box filled with other assorted goodies

bump

The Puppetmaster of LaMorai demands enterance into the Evil Dictators Lounge! Here is a list of my evil accomplishments:

1.Tore the tag of my Mattress.
2. Returned VHS without Rewinding.
3. Given people I don't like a mind influencing fever which twists and manipulates their minds and bodies, turning them into freaks who have no recollection of their previous lives. Then I force them to live together in a giant carnival, which I rule and regulate with an Iron fist. Occasionally, I randomly pick a handful to die in a most brutal and horrific way, then I celebrate by going out and turning more people into freaks.
4.Gave money to George W. Bush.
5. Employed 100,000 telemarketers to call people I loathe.
6. Crushed 50 puppies under my iron boots.
7. Lowered the drinking age in LaMorai to 6. (Months, not Years)

Wow thaqt is pretty impressive. But I'm not sure what that number four implies, it kind of makes me want to use my large clout to deny you entry.

Bhalk quickly reaches into his pocket and pulls out an oversized dirt clout, "Dont make me!"

(For the purpose of this owrkign pretend a dirt clout is a dirt clod and really exists)

Lord Gabon of the Keloon would like to join. Here's what I've done:

1) Destroyed an entire planet because my eggs were soggy and it was Thursday...or something...I don't remember. It was fun.
2) I've cancled Christmas for 40 years and counting!
3) Got drunk at a party and called Kevin Bacon hot: then, later, killed all attendents of the said party with a variety of cooking utensils.
4) Didn't like the Matrix.
5) Graduated Magno cum Mallo of my class of 600, have full eHD from Dr. Doom's Latvian Academy.
6) Have used the word "FOOL!!!" over eight-billion times.
7) Have used the phrase "YOU FOOLS!!!!" over one-hundred-and-eight billion times.
8) Use the word "Coo" instead of "Cool."

Coo.

-Lord Gabon

PS: I've got some niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice donations, if I'm accepted that is.

First off, we thank Roach Busters for their generous donation, and promise that it will only benefit the members of the club.

Second, we welcome into our ranks the most sociopathic nations of LaMorai and Keloon. Happy hunting.

Alright!!! The Keloon are in the hizzood!

So, here are my donations:

10,000 Dr. Doom's Lean, Mean, Fat-Reducing, Evil Grilling Machines
160 Archie McFee $100 Grab Bags
40,000 Dancing bears complete with unicycle and optional paracel
56 ATVs for the...
10 mile by 10 mile All-Dirt terrain ground

...and finally...

One really groovy lava lamp

Coo.

One really groovy lava lamp

Coo.
OOC:Those things rule! they're strong too, my cousins wife managed to drop mine about 4 1/2 feet onto a lightly carpeted ground, and it didn't break

I think he used the money on Pretzles. Bah, when you open your doors to me, I will allow each one of you to visit my carnival for free! Bring your families. I will *try* not to subjugate any of you or your families for at *least* 6 hours after arriving. After 6 hours, I may enslave you, or bathe in the stolen hopes and dreams of humanity. Whichever comes with a little paper umbrella. Oh, and 50,000,000 gold Lorins will be donated to the club, and entertain yourselves with all the freaks you can kill with a giant mallet.

OOC: Number 155 in all of NS for "Most Corrupt Government"... wee!

I, Cassius Longarm, and my esteemed Second-In-Command / Twelve-Foot-Tall-WarMech-Of-DOOMZORZ, The Twelfth One, would like to apply for membership within this esteemed and... somewhat dubious guild.

Things I've (personally) done:

1) Shot our Health Minister in the face.

2) Six times.

3) With a .44 Magnum.

4) While screaming epithets about his parental heritage.

5) In front of witnesses.

6) Who cheered.

7) Authorized the complete and utter eradication of any and all religions within the Dominion. You may have thought this was just a simple phasing out, but that's only because we don't let much news out from our little world.

8) Damn Buddhists.

9) Authorized a program of public despair incorporating periodic introduction of some plucky little boy who stands in front of my personal headquarters shouting that the injustice will end and that the revolution will destroy all of the oppressing governate, and various other forms of inciting rebellion. This is instantly followed by six Cougar Robots converging upon the boy and eating him. This is just to make certain that when somebody tries it for real, nobody will listen.

Things That The Twelfth One Has Accomplished:

1) Blowing stuff up

2) Blowing stuff up better

3) Killing people

4) Resurrecting Them

5) Killing them again

6) Cloning them

7) Exploring the gray area of killing hundreds of one person. Does it count as one kill or one hundred? GRRRGH existentialism!

______________________________________________________________

We hope that this is sufficient.

well Godular, you definatly hav emy vote for admitance, but it's not a democracy, it's a dictatorship, so that means nothing.

What's a democracy?

I'd swear it rings a bell, but the last I think I heard of it, whoever mentioned it was smeared on my windshield.

Twice.

right, just tell that to my cougar, I'm sure when she jumps at your neck she's just playing.

Still taking members???

If so, I'd like to join.

right, just tell that to my cougar, I'm sure when she jumps at your neck she's just playing.

Actually, Cougars are our national animal.

And we designed a ten-foot-tall-at-the-shoulder multi-task / terror warbot, programmed to be as utterly demoralizing and vicious as possible, around said national animal. These things DELIGHT in eating the skulls of the enemy.

They kinda like rolling around in entrails too. Its disturbing to watch.

They breathe flame, too!

Want one? Two? Two hundred? We don't give a crap who we sell too!

Nah I'm good
OOC: and the main difference here is that I have actually worked with cougars. If you doubt me I work at a wildlife rehabilitation/veterinary clinic, and right now we have a 20 year old bobcat. Just had to throw that one out there, BTW I'm only 17.

Can I join? We have a "benevolent president" for a leader.

Congratulations to our newest inductees, the most dubious Godular, the crazed maniacs of Psychopathic Warmongers, and the cackling sociopaths of Ruthless Slaughter.

I'd love to join. If I'am admitted, I'd like to donate cigerettes and cigar to the lounge from Fasces Tabacco Inc. for aslong as I'am a member.

Sincerely,
Czar Charles Hayden

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v521/Fascist_Confederacy/CoatOfArms.jpg

"I would like to join up. I'm willing to donate small furry animals and people (any kind) for you to torture in case you get the urge."-The Great Leader Li.

Looks like I need to torch more villages, villagers, and crops before you will let me into the Evil Dictator club. I just finished clubbing my 1,000th baby seal while on vacation if that helps any.

I am one of the most evil dictators out there I belong to the dictatorship reagion I have a burning scull on my flag. I am sure I am evil enough to be a member in your club. I am evil I tell you evil.

I will donate 1,698,798 counterfit copies of Max Berries NationStates as reading meteral, fire starters, or scratch paper. Whatever you little heart disires.

HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA (EVIL DICTATOR LAUGH)
This is a offical message of the supreame dictator of Harrylandia and I approve this message for all to read
. I love this club and I hope to post a lot and read a lot in my own evil tone and ways

((OOC: LaMorai, check the list on the first page. You're in.))

We welcome both Mass Pwnage and Fascist Confedracy into our ranks.

I hope you will accept my evil cry to be a member of the evilist club on the plante.

Long Live Dictator Of Harrylandia!!
Long live Evil dictatorships of the world!!!

If I am accepted into the evil club I will give everyone a way to blow up stuff. I have so many nucluar warheads it will be a "BLAST"

HAHAHAHAH (EVIL DICTATOR LAUGH) I know I am procistant, which meanst that I will be as evil as a telemarketer.

I love to blow up the things people love, like disco clubs, video arcades, and carnivals, and replace them with IRS taxing stations, and dentist.
I make all of my citizens attend the dentist every day and haved a root canal and replace their teeth with plaster saber tooth tiger teeth that are farmed with all the illeagal marajuania crops.

I will also provide
1- evil attack war bees (3 million per person of any members population)
567,787,455,888 tons of honey to feed the bees per nation.
(Attack bees guarnteed to invade a rival country in 30 days or less or your money back)
A model of the queen of england and attack corgi's that will rip her to shreads.
A bumper sticker that says too evil for good on every car of every citizen in the entire nation of every member.
A DR. EVIL take do it yourself take over the world kit.
A Evil cat you can stroke when you make a evil laugh
I will make a 12,000 meter tall and 6,575 meter wide statue of all the brutel dictators of the many counties that are in the evil club.
A rivial polish football team to challange the oter one that came with the club in a death match with sticks and clubs.
Any busyness of unspeakeable evil you want you can get me to create for any member just ask!

This is a offica message of the supreame dictator of Harrylandia and I approve this message!
LET ME JOIN NOW OR ELSE
HAHAHHAHAAH(EVIL DICTATOR LAUGH)

Sweeeeeeeeet...

In honor of this momentous occasion, I would like to donate a lifetime supply of a particularly vile concoction we have come to dub "Hellfire Megawhiskey."

This vitriolic substance tastes somewhat of an unholy combination of habanero extract and wood distillate, and clocks in at approximately ninety proof by itself. However this is not the true fury that is HellFire. The peppery taste is actually a chemical enzyme that, when exposed to water, converts into approximately two alcohol molecules. This is not a sudden development, but very... amusing when completed.

To put a long story short, after ingestion, the alcohol level of a single shot converts to approximately 300 proof. This may seem impossible to those with experience in the booze-crafting business, but let us assure you from personal experience that people drinking this stuff often drop to the floor and begin spouting mathematical theorems.

Its often handy to keep a notebook nearby.

While some may find the non-user-friendly nature of this drink hard to swallow (LITERALLY), others may perceive this paint-remover substitute as a challenge.

In honor of this momentous occasion, I would like to donate a lifetime supply of a particularly vile concoction we have come to dub "Hellfire Megawhiskey."


We thank you for this exceptional gift.

((OOC: Harrylandia, I'm in a good mood so I'll let you in, but please read the stickies at the top of the forum before you post in any more threads, especially mine. Also, please work on your spelling and grammar.))

The Republic of Pacitalia wishes to become a member of this club. We'll be more on the gentleman's side than the evil dictator's, but we have some friends and allies already present at the club.

Seeing as so many people continue to give gifts Borman must remain a 'good' gift giver. As such we are donating one cigar case as seen at the SEATO party for each member of the club with special passes for 3 free refills for each case.

I appologize for my bad spelling, i do not spell check.

In honer of my acceptence to the club of evil dictators I will offer all members a array of rusted chainsaws (best torture tool around) 2 tons of high quality Nucluar divices, and another evil kitty who will attack the girl scout cookie salespeople who arrive innociently at the door.

HAHAHAHAHAH(EVIL DICTATOR LAUGH)

THIS IS A OFFICAL MESSAGE FROM THE SUPREME DICTATOR OF HARRYLANDIA AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE!!!

bump

Evil evil evil dance, evil evil dance, I'm doin my evil dance, evil evil dance, evil evil evil dance, evil evil dance, I'm doin my evil dance, evil evil dance, evil evil evil dance, evil evil dance, I'm doin my evil dance, evil evil dance, evil evil evil dance, evil evil dance, I'm doin my evil dance, evil evil dance,

Join in yall, dance the evil dance.

(Group)
Evil evil evil dance, evil evil dance, I'm doin my evil dance, evil evil dance, evil evil evil dance, evil evil dance, I'm doin my evil dance, evil evil dance, evil evil evil dance, evil evil dance, I'm doin my evil dance, evil evil dance, evil evil evil dance, evil evil dance, I'm doin my evil dance, evil evil dance,

Evil evil evil dance, evil evil dance, I'm doin my evil dance, evil evil dance, evil evil evil dance, evil evil dance, I'm doin my evil dance, evil evil dance, evil evil evil dance, evil evil dance, I'm doin my evil dance, evil evil dance, evil evil evil dance, evil evil dance, I'm doin my evil dance, evil evil dance

As the truly evil Brian Dredon, defense minister, walked down the corridor, he proudly boasted to his exasperated President that those in the Evil Dictator's Lounge would be overwhelmed by his supreme evilness. "They will see in me things too terrible to behold!" he boasted. "For I am the bringer of Truly Evil things, and will bear Terrible Visions of TERROR! into this lounge..."

And then, entering, he beheld those doing the EVIL DANCE. "Well, maybe not that terrible."

"None can walk on the might of the evil dance! None...wel...excpet Slash and a select few others."

"Now throw another girlscout on the fire, don't let it go out, we must continue the evil dance." "Evil evil evil dance, evil evil dance, I'm doin my evil dance, evil evil dance, evil evil evil dance, evil evil dance, I'm doin my evil dance, evil evil dance, evil evil evil dance, evil evil dance, I'm doin my evil dance, evil evil dance, evil evil evil dance, evil evil dance, I'm doin my evil dance, evil evil dance."

OOC: I just realized this isn't the RP thread. Do this in the RP thread, the evil dance.

OOC: I just realized this isn't the RP thread. Do this in the RP thread, the evil dance.
I was wondering

This isn't the RP thread?.... O_o .... What is?

Cyrus Lanier, the dictator and head of the mercenary army of Naton of Fortune, wishes to join this most esteemed club.Mr. Lanier has been granted full membership.
It appears I'm not on the list of those accepted, A typo I wanted to point out, or then again your just evil.
Further more, I will donate this shiny penny I beat a homless man for.

I think its on the first page.

Evil Dance!!
Yes Yes Yes
Hahahahahahahaha Mucha Luche Trua Laamdfam(evil Dictator Club Laugh)
This Is A Offical Song Of The Evil Dictatorship Of Harrylandia And I Approve This Evil Dance

Harry Hill The Supreme Dictaor Of Harryalnaida And Member Of The Evil Club.

Do it in the RP thrad.

bump

Pork?

bump

The Corporation hereby wishes to join.


[If I get in, list me as the Umbrella Corporation.]

The Holy Empire of the Warmaster would like to register, and looks forward to such exclusive delights.

You're both in.

GE, you should start a thread for the second meeting of the Club. If you want to, that is.

hello

the Dictatorship of Zachyd would like to join the club

hello

the Dictatorship of Zachyd would like to join the club

OOC: You just bumped something from last year.