NationStates Jolt Archive

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v293/grunt74/santanooooo.jpg
" Good evening, I'm Georgie Peterson with our top story this hour..
In a sad turn of events, Santa Claus has been reported dead. His body was found in greenland along with his riendeer and sleigh, and a polaroid image, the killers apprantley gloating over their successful murder of the great icon of Christmas, Santa Claus. He was buried today among millions of screaming and crying children. What is the world to do now that there is no Santa?
A terrorist group known as the Elven Liberation Front has claimed responsibily and has placed a video of the murder on thier website. The webhost is based in France, and a full investgation is underway to apprehend these murderous bastards..
In other news today....."

Green Sun celebrates the ending of the nightmare called Santa Claus. A majority of crimes commited during the Christmas holiday have been commited by people dressed as Santas, so we are glad that this will stop.

Nsendalen reports a general sentiment of "WTF?" and "Dude, I know weed's legal here but that's just odd..."

The nation also predicts a robust seasonal period despite this news.

fade in

Good evening, this is Asus Norton, your Live at 5 reporter coming to you from our broadcast studios in Buddsvile.

In our top story tonight, police have arrest some 43 elves believed to be members of the Elven Liberation Front or "ELF" terrorist group that has been identified as the organization responsible for the cold blooded murder of Santa Clause. Fearing lynch mobs, the police are holding the prisoners at an undisclosed location for further interrogation.

In a cryptic note delivered via courrier to our studios this afternoon, someone who identified himself only as "The ELF" stated ::: cut to picture of crudely handwritten note with voice over :::

"He said, 'The kid wants an x-box.' I said, 'what's that?' He said, 'I don't know, just make the #&%()#^$ thing!!!' That's all we could take. No union or collective bargaining power, no 401K, health insurance that is little better than a Mutual of Omaha emergency hospital co-pay plan. Enough was enough. We organized, we told him 'All Your Base Are Belong to Us." He ignored us still, we did what we had to do. We hereby announce to all Toys-R-Us stores, malls and other frequent hangouts of this tyrant - "All Your Base Are Belong to Us." We will rule your children, whether you like it our not.
The Elven Liberation Front"

OOC: for those who don't know: All Your Base Are Belong to Us (http://www.planettribes.com/allyourbase/AYB2.swf)

Bump

OOC: Bout time someone shot down that fat red elf!

There is no santa claus.

There is no santa claus.

your kidding right? how can you not believe in Santa Claus

There is no santa claus.

Quite true, now that he's been murdered.

Part from DNS broadcast.

...where one man was poked to death with sticks and other pointy objects by a mob of angry kids. The man has been indentified as a spy from the nation of Crazed Marines and was at the time dressed up as a elf, little did he know about the news that shocked the world.

At about 12.03 the man was viciously poked to death by blood-thirsty kids hungry for revenge.

DAF troopers found themselfs too shocked and afraid to intervene in the masacre.

Well I for 1 am happy he is gone these kids nowadays need to work for what they get and not depend on some fat slob to just show up with some free toys. if the elves didn't get him i had a squad of Assassins looking for him.

:( :( :( :( :(

"Good.

It's supposed to celerate Saint Nicolas, but the Amermikan Pigs heard SAINT niCOLAS, and made it SANTA COLAS, or Santa Clas.

How the PIGS made him him a fat man in red still puzzles us..."

-Ludo Hienkel, Chief Officer of Defense, The Great Sixth Reich.

He owes me an airsoft gun...

He owes me an airsoft gun...

"If you call him Saint Nicolas, we'll send you one for free..." -Ludo Hienkel, Chief Officer of Defense.

(OOC: In the words of many... XD)

"If you call him Saint Nicolas, we'll send you one for free..." -Ludo Hienkel, Chief Officer of Defense.




SAINT NICHOLAS owes me an airsoft gun.

The following message was broadcast on primetime cartoon television networks.

ATTENTION, CHILDREN OF THE BURNSIAN DESERT

Santa Claus is not, repeat, NOT dead. His death was faked by a right-wing terrorist group that attempted to undermine your belief. Remember, the moment you stop believing is the moment the magic stops. Also, every Tuesday is free cookie day at Burnsian Fun Fun Government Centers! Come by and pick up a 'Santa Lives!' cookie!

http://www.volny.cz/ak-47/aks-74u/russian_soldier.jpg
Commander Nathan Rienhan
Burnsian Intelligence Initiative (BII)
Director of Propeganda

SAINT NICHOLAS owes me an airsoft gun.

"Danke! We'll ship your airsoft gun right away on Lufthansa Cargo!" -Ludo Hienkel, Chief Officer of Defense.

(OOC: TBD, interested in doing an international scandal due to USSNSR spies sneaking into a Burnsian Fun Fun Government Center to steal the ever so lovely 'Santa Lives!' cookies?)

frankly, I'm glad to be rid of that obiece petaphile. We're talking about an old guy who sneaks into your house in the middle of the night, a man who your child writes to in secret and i won't even bring up the slave labour at his north pole 'workshop'. Or as its more commonly known, 'neverland ranch north'. I glad someone had the sense to kill off that drity son-of-a-bitch!

Um... Dude, Santas not dead. That and he owes me some nukes. Thats right St. Nick, you owe me big time!

"Good.

It's supposed to celerate Saint Nicolas, but the Amermikan Pigs heard SAINT niCOLAS, and made it SANTA COLAS, or Santa Clas.

How the PIGS made him him a fat man in red still puzzles us..."

-Ludo Hienkel, Chief Officer of Defense, The Great Sixth Reich.
I like how you spell American

Um... Dude, Santas not dead. That and he owes me some nukes. Thats right St. Nick, you owe me big time!


n00bs...... I hate them. This one finds copying others a good tick-me-off strategy.

Quite true, now that he's been murdered.

Hear hear!

I like how you spell American

OOC:

That's actually an "In-Character" remark by fierce Nationalist Ludo Hienkel, who is always muttering "Stupid AMERIKAN PIGS!" He spells American the German way, as he thinks anything German is better than anything else... (You should see him at conferences... especially when he gets drunk!) :)

OOC: Oh ok, sorry... btw when you said donka, did you perhaps mean danke, which is German for thanks?

"Donka! We'll ship your airsoft gun right away on Lufthansa Cargo!" -Ludo Hienkel, Chief Officer of Defense.


OCC: Isnt ist Danke?

OCC: Isnt ist Danke?

Yes, but "Donka" is how you pronounce it. I do not actually take German this year, but I will be taking it next year, so I'll be speaking good German then.

OOC: Oh ok, sorry... btw when you said donka, did you perhaps mean danke, which is German for thanks?

Yes, I did.

(OOC: TBD, interested in doing an international scandal due to USSNSR spies sneaking into a Burnsian Fun Fun Government Center to steal the ever so lovely 'Santa Lives!' cookies?)

OOC: Lol, sure, TG me.

Nnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!

Can't we just use Jack Skellington? :D:D:D

Yeah! It's easier to make yourself look fatter than you really are! A new Santa and less robberies! WOOOOOOOOO!