NationStates Jolt Archive

Anthony Debaskus, a half Italian half Greek comedian. He was born to a Greek father and Italian mother in the 1970s. Born in Eltengrad, he was always the class clown and a sort of smartass. Always had a mistress or two around during those days too. Oh and college, he was a pimp. No seriously, that was his job. He had like 20 hookers to control. Pimping ain't easy ya know? Anyway, his actual job was being a stand up comedian. Famous for his quick wit and satire, he rose. He's actually one of the most famous comedians in the entire Commonwealth. Well, that would change today.

Anthony was on stage, the spotlight on him. The audience laughing at his every joke. Then, a phone was rolled out unto the stage, it was red, of course. The audience was confused, why does Anthony need a phone? Then in his Brooklyn accent he answered. "A'ight here's how it goes. I know dis thing is shown on international levels or whateva. So Imma let world leaders call me, to have the privilage to talk to me. Come on baby, let's go."

The audience laughed. Why would a world leader call a comedian? Maybe he would get calls, maybe being the main word. But now all they could do is wait, and wait some more. "The numbah is 546-865-0001, a'ight?" He said it, he knew he forgot something.


((OOC: Basically, Anthony represents the Rosian people. So if you call him you get made fun of! So come on, let's have a little fun hm?))

Gaius picked up the phone, seeing the advert on TV. He had a bottle of beer in his hand.

"Hell-o" He said drunkenly. "Yo-u have the fine-s look-ing" Gaius was cut off by his wife.

((OOC: Lol))

OOC: Oh dear, hehe...the Royal States' leaders wouldn't waste their time with this "trivial" affair, but TAG for amusement. I'm watching this one closely, hehe.

Jason, the chancellor picked up his phone to get some chinese food, "Hello yes, I would like 1 fried rice...."

Jason, the chancellor picked up his phone to get some chinese food, "Hello yes, I would like 1 fried rice...."

Anthony picked up the phone. "Congrats..." He looked at the Caller ID. "Jason... hey you sound like dat Chanceperson or whateva." The audience laughed. "Sir, let me say it is a privilage to call you a dumbass. And you sir, are a dumbass. First of all, who uses tear gas to bomb ships? There's this thing called ummm bombs?!"

The audience laughed. "Also, evacuating your citizens? Hell if I was gonna die, I woulda made the people around me die too. I don't care if you say you was being compassnate or whateva, but Jesus, what dumbass doesn't use dare citizens as soldiers?"

The audience kept on laughing. "And worst of all, when you should be trying to run away, you're ordering fried rice! Sir, no wonder you're about to die, and you're ordaring fried rice?! Your death will be a blessing on this Earth, because people like you gave people like us Barney, good day." Click.

((OOC: Note, I'm not that good at making fun of people :) ))

ooc:LMAO, mind if I put that first part in my sig?
IC:"How rude, see if I order form there again, hmf!" and he slammed the phone down.

Emperor Mobius, slightly amused at Debaskus' jokes, picks up the phone and dials the number.

"Avast, ye salty dog! How goes it on the high seas?" He says into the reciver.

The Shah punched in the number, "Hello, is this Lord Rostam Teymorian? I really need those M-60s for the upcoming deer hunt."

((OOC: Note, I'm not that good at making fun of people :) ))

OOC: i noticed




that was just an example Huzeny humour

Emperor Helldawg picked up the phone to order a pizza, and accidentaly dialed the number for the comedian,

"Errr, yeah, I'd like two large cheese pizzas..."

that was just an example Huzeny humour

((OOC: Bah :p))

Emperor Mobius, slightly amused at Debaskus' jokes, picks up the phone and dials the number.

"Avast, ye salty dog! How goes it on the high seas?" He says into the reciver.

Anthony picked up the phone. "We have an Emperor Mobius.... and he's talking like a pirate. From the nation of Ravea. Who the hell is that?" The audience laughed. "You aren't even worthy of talking to me. Who cares about Ravea, it's so stupid."

He continued. "And avast? Avast what? I swear if you all talk like that over there I'm surprised you even know how to dial a phone. Now please leave me alone, I've got better things then to talk to a pirate."

((OOC: I don't know much about your nation, sorry.))

The Shah punched in the number, "Hello, is this Lord Rostam Teymorian? I really need those M-60s for the upcoming deer hunt."

Anthony smirked. "Well well well, this is the Shah. Yeah I heard about ya. You hate commies dontcha? And who the hell hunts rabbits with M60s? Somebody has small penis eh?"

The audience laughed, he continued. "Yeah, you call yourself tough. But all you do is attack the Amish, the Amish! What the hell has the Amish done?! Youse not so tough." The audience kept on laughing. "And all you do is kill commies. Sure you stopped, but that's because you had over athousand nations against ya."

The audience kept laughing. "Now I suggest you get Viagra like all the old people, hunt with a normal rifle, and do better things then to kill commies to vent your sexual frustrationisms. Good day." Click.

Emperor Helldawg picked up the phone to order a pizza, and accidentaly dialed the number for the comedian,

"Errr, yeah, I'd like two large cheese pizzas..."

"Well well well, the idjits just keep coming." He looked at the ID. "Oh this is a classic, Emporer Helldawg of Doomingsland. Everything about your nation is corny ya know that?"

The audience chuckled. "First of alls, what kind of idjit wastes thousands of dollars to kill commies? An H-Bomb on ONE person?! How bored do you have to be to kill somebody like that? That's just pathetic."

The audience laughed. "You own an entire Empire, you can have woman fight each other... in mud... naked! But instead you kill a guy with an H-Bomb. Can somebody say homo?"

The audience kept laughing. "And your name. Helldawg. Ooooh, I'm scared! Why couldn't you get a better name, Helldawg ooooh! Why not Malificous! That scares me shitless that's for sure. Then again, we have a President whos name is pronounced Sir Gay." The audience laughed. "Now, go back to your pizzas, and get laid already, geez." Click.

((OOC: Bah, best I could do.))

*the president picks up the phone"

"Hello Anthony, you are a stupid-head."

After sobering up, Gaius rang again, accidentaly dialing the number for the nearest KFC.

"Hi, can I have two Zinger Tower meals and a large fries."

Emperor Barbarossa picked up the phone. Not knowing His Sister, Tai-Sai-Nam is Behind him

"If I didn't know better, My sister is Getting as big as those Trains she likes...*Sound of Frying Pan Hiting some one on the head* OW!!!!!!!"

*the president picks up the phone"

"Hello Anthony, you are a stupid-head."

Anthony responded. "Well I'm a stupid head? Youse the stupid one, youse called this numbah. And geez, what the hell will your people think of youse in the next election? I'm sure you won't get re-elected again that's for sure."

((OOC: Dimminar, I don't know much about you sorry. Hataria, eh? Kanabia, I can't make much fun of you either, you've been in General for too long, traitor :P ))

Jack (you know the one) was lonely. He began pacing before having an idea.

"Damnit!" He yelled as the idea escaped him. Aw there it was again. He'd order a hooker!

Dialing the number. He says into the phone. "Yeah hi I'd like a "date" and if you could send her over. Well that'd be awesome. My address is the cave right next to the giant tree. It's near a river of fire you should be able to find it."

"Next time you hear my voice, it will be in hell. Secondly, that H-bomb killed a few hundred thousand commies, dumbass. As a matter of fact, I frequently make hot women fight in mud for my entertainment, hell, what do you think I'm doing now?" *camera pans to a large group of hot women wailing on each other in mud*, "Good bye, dumbass."

The phone clicked off, leaving an erie silence in the room.

The emperor turned to his secretary, a really hot chick who didn't actualy know how to read. "I want that asshole disapeared. Now."

"Yes, m'lord."

The secratary, in turn, picked up a phone, and dialed the DLII HQ, and ordered a ninja to head to TIOR and kill the comedian.

Generalissimo J.L. wanted to get rid of a particularly annoying boy scout who kept wanting to sell cookies that tasted like cement, so he thought he'd ring up Skar and see what he could do. Instead, he accidentally dialed the comedian's number. "Hello, I'd like to speak to Skar. I have another job for him."

Emperor Nikolaos picked up the phone to call NTG Corp. HQ but he dialed in the wrong number because he was to busy watching the comedian show going on right now.

"Emperor Nikolaos here. How many WMDs have we sold this past year?"

Kanabia, I can't make much fun of you either, you've been in General for too long, traitor :P ))

Heheh :)

OOC: Poor TIOR, overrun with phone calls. The studio is going to have one hell of a Long-Distance Bill.

Josef grinned. He dialed the comedians number.

"You're a n00b, and I am l337. End."

((OOC: I guess Helldawg doesn't have a sense of humor :p))

Jack (you know the one) was lonely. He began pacing before having an idea.

"Damnit!" He yelled as the idea escaped him. Aw there it was again. He'd order a hooker!

Dialing the number. He says into the phone. "Yeah hi I'd like a "date" and if you could send her over. Well that'd be awesome. My address is the cave right next to the giant tree. It's near a river of fire you should be able to find it."

Anthony responded. "Hey, it's a troll! And he's lonely! He wants a hooker! Look, if God made you ugly for a reason, there's a reason. And that reason is he doesn't want you to get laid. I bet you're so ugly that a hooker wouldn't even bang ya. She'd leave and pay YOU to get away from her. I'm sorry man, just go back to jacking off to your softcore porn 'kay? Bye." Click.

Generalissimo J.L. wanted to get rid of a particularly annoying boy scout who kept wanting to sell cookies that tasted like cement, so he thought he'd ring up Skar and see what he could do. Instead, he accidentally dialed the comedian's number. "Hello, I'd like to speak to Skar. I have another job for him."

Anthony looked at the Caller ID. "Well well well, it's Generalissimo J.L. I bet he doesn't even know what that means." The audience laughed. "What does J.L. mean, Justa Loser?" He continued. "This guy's a hypocrite. 'I am for freedom! Now lemme kill these commies...'" The audience laughed again. "But no seriously, J.L., you're a good guy. Sure your nation's name is one of the stupidest ones in the world.."

"... but you're good. But you're ugly, I've seen your picture. You'd scare a kid right out of video game I can tell ya that." The audience laughed. "And now you're Generalissimo. Great way to steal from Franco I'll tell ya that. Geez louise and for the love of God, get a new flag, it sucks!" Click.

Emperor Nikolaos picked up the phone to call NTG Corp. HQ but he dialed in the wrong number because he was to busy watching the comedian show going on right now.

"Emperor Nikolaos here. How many WMDs have we sold this past year?"

Anthony picked up the phone. "It's the Emperor of Greece! Well hello Nikolaos, how are you doing today? Here's another right wing imperialist nation! Everybody clap!"

The audience laughed. "What better things to people like you do other then conquer nations? I read about this Great Idea and whatnot, and you say that Alexander did you can too. Well, there's a reason why Alexander's kingdom failed, because it couldn't hold! Don't gimme that "he died" bull, it won't work. Now go back to running your country, I'm sure that's more fun then wasting people's lives over a crappy Island nobody ever heard of, good day." Click.

((OOC: Nick, I couldn't think of anything else, sorry.))

Dear lord, they've let another Rosian get his hands on a television camera.

Should I call up Sergey? I'm sure he wouldn't like the idea that you are insulting every single nation on the planet, although knowing him, he may just come down there himself and start helping. There was a hilarious joke he told about his wife and a horse once, but.....

Besides the point. How many Samtonians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Make me laugh, funny man. I haven't got all day.

http://img94.exs.cx/img94/2290/Clipboard12.jpg
Minister X, Leader of Samtonian Council of Thirteen

OOC:You could have made fun of the fact that they encouraged bisexuality in ancient greece for Nikolaos. Yes, my emperor is an emotionless robot when it comes to people making fun of him.

IC:

Outside of the studio

Blue in position.

Roger, red team breaching door.

A small team of ninjas began to sneak into the studio. They would wait for the comedian to get boring to the rest of the world, then they were going to kill him. One team was breaking in through the roof, while the other sat out in the parking lot in an inconspiciuos looking white van.

Anthony chuckled. "How many? None. They're too busy kissing your ass they don't know how a light bulb looks like. And why are you hiding your face, too ugly to show it to the world?"

The audience laughed. "Seriously now. I hope nobody gits too seriousness. We all needs to laugh a lil eh?"

((OOC: Doom, I think TIoR would've noticed a large cargo plane and a 8 foreign men that are armed ya know?))

OOC:Shhh, they're ninjas!

OOC:Shhh, they're ninjas!

((OOC: You do realize that the ninjas must die and the comedian lives right? And that TIoR has no gun laws?))

OOC:Yes, I realize that, how else would they sneak in with all of that crap? Besides, I've got some funny stuff for the ninjas to do that would make the audience kill the comedian, hehehe.

Grand Commander Torroth Halcyon needed a laugh. Ergo, he picked up the phone.
"Yes, hello. This is Anthony the comedian? This is Torroth Halcyon. Make me laugh."

Without warning a Giant Projector of Light toppled down from the ceiling, and in a sharp whiplike motion the cord plugged itself into the nearest jack. Then heavenly light blazed from the Overhead Projector and made all gasp in wonder as an electronically transmitted slide appeared on the wall:

http://home.ripway.com/2004-1/54396/rose.jpg

(I'm sure you remember this, no? ;))

(I'm sure you remember this, no? ;))

((OOC: Touche. But why did you keep the pic in the first place :P ))

Anthony scoffed. "Wha you think you can command me? I don't do that, make me laugh, bah. You wanna laugh? Hire a hooker to play with your giggle stick, I bet you'll laugh then. The only one who can command me is mah wife!" Click.

((OOC: Touche. But why did you keep the pic in the first place :P ))

Anthony scoffed. "Wha you think you can command me? I don't do that, make me laugh, bah. You wanna laugh? Hire a hooker to play with your giggle stick, I bet you'll laugh then. The only one who can command me is mah wife!" Click.

((OOC: For occasions such as these. I do believe it's still on the NATO forums ;)))

"Ha! I am in need of an early birthday present! But since you cannot be commanded to do anything, we'll just wait and see what you have to say about a man who keeps a handgun under his throne!"

Rapion unloaded the clip from his Desert Eagle and opened a COM line.

"Yeah, hi. Uh.... I saw this... Thing over the COM waves, I guess I'll take up the offer..."

Prime Minister Cowlquape Pentephraxis of Sanctaphrax picked up the phone to order room service, but got the wrong number. "Hello? Who is this?"

OOC: Amazing how many National Leaders can Dial the wrong Number in such a short period of time. But hey, we'll go with it for the comedic value, hehe.

Prime Minister Ell picked up his phone and dialed to the kitchen. "Bring me up tonight's special, will you? Thanks."

Supreme Commander Gregori McKenna dialed the phone number for Grand Admiral Josef's house... but he didnt know that he dialed the number on to the comedians cell phone instead.

"Hello... This is Supreme Commander Gregori... I want to talk to Grand Admiral Josef."

((OOC: I guess Helldawg doesn't have a sense of humor :p))

Anthony looked at the Caller ID. "Well well well, it's Generalissimo J.L. I bet he doesn't even know what that means." The audience laughed. "What does J.L. mean, Justa Loser?" He continued. "This guy's a hypocrite. 'I am for freedom! Now lemme kill these commies...'" The audience laughed again. "But no seriously, J.L., you're a good guy. Sure your nation's name is one of the stupidest ones in the world.."

"... but you're good. But you're ugly, I've seen your picture. You'd scare a kid right out of video game I can tell ya that." The audience laughed. "And now you're Generalissimo. Great way to steal from Franco I'll tell ya that. Geez louise and for the love of God, get a new flag, it sucks!" Click.

(OOC: Lol!!! :D :D :D)

(OOC2: Actually, I was thinking of Chiang Kai-shek when I came up with 'Generalissimo')

(OOC3: Actually, we stopped killing commies some time ago)

(OOC4: Ahem...I'll shut up now. :()

IC: Generalissimo J.L. hung up, shaking his head and gnashing his teeth in disgust. He picked up the phone and dialed Skar Tactical Inc. to arrange Anthony's assassination.

((OOC: Bah sorry guys. I can't think of anything for your nations. I haven't seen you guys do anything, sorry. Anyway, I hope everyone had a laugh, this thread is closed.))

the ruller of neo sephrioth phones this rosian person insult me if you dare.
OOC IM SEPHRIOTH

Citizens of Tenarius gave the comedian a standing ovation in front of their Television Sets for the humour involved in the program.

OOC: Nice, very nice, good job TIOR. =)

Byrnashty sat in his leather chair with his hands folded on his large belly..

"Ehehehe..." he chuckled at the Rosian comedian..

He's got guts.. Byrnashty thought..

He then picked up the phone and dialled the number on the screen. As soon as Anthony replied, Byrnashty screamed, "Woosh woosh woosh, said the rocket!!.."

He then fell to the ground, laughing his arse off.

secert ic
dante got on the phone markus get the titan gaurd ready to deploy.
ic dante waited.

((OOC: Green you're an asshole XD. Neo Seph, please leave my thread.))

Oh, TIoR, you know plenty about us. Let's hear it. ;)

OOC: Scale of funny: 7.8/10

IC:

Executor Xavier Davidson, being distracted by the TV ad, accidentally phoned the aforementioned number as he tried to contact the Tyrandis Strategic Rocket Forces Command.

"General Oppenheimer," said Davidson quickly, "is our plan to wipe out the smelly hippies of Washington and Oregon with VX gas on schedule?"

((OOC: Sorry, this thread is over. I ran outta funny juice..))

Nooo!! :(

((OOC: Sorry, this thread is over. I ran outta funny juice..))

Awww... come on ;)

The ninjas who were coming up behind the comedian with their swords drawn drop their swords and let out a loud "Awwwwwwwwwwww".

((OOC: Sorry, this thread is over. I ran outta funny juice..))


AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! WHAT ABOUT MY JOKE?!?!?!?! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anthony Debaskus, a half Italian half Greek comedian. He was born to a Greek father and Italian mother in the 1970s. Born in Eltengrad, he was always the class clown and a sort of smartass. Always had a mistress or two around during those days too. Oh and college, he was a pimp. No seriously, that was his job. He had like 20 hookers to control. Pimping ain't easy ya know? Anyway, his actual job was being a stand up comedian. Famous for his quick wit and satire, he rose. He's actually one of the most famous comedians in the entire Commonwealth. Well, that would change today.

Anthony was on stage, the spotlight on him. The audience laughing at his every joke. Then, a phone was rolled out unto the stage, it was red, of course. The audience was confused, why does Anthony need a phone? Then in his Brooklyn accent he answered. "A'ight here's how it goes. I know dis thing is shown on international levels or whateva. So Imma let world leaders call me, to have the privilage to talk to me. Come on baby, let's go."

The audience laughed. Why would a world leader call a comedian? Maybe he would get calls, maybe being the main word. But now all they could do is wait, and wait some more. "The numbah is 546-865-0001, a'ight?" He said it, he knew he forgot something.


((OOC: Basically, Anthony represents the Rosian people. So if you call him you get made fun of! So come on, let's have a little fun hm?))

Reich News Network (RNN) is interested in obtaining rights to boardcast this on prinetime television. How much for boardcasting rights?

Free, use it all you want.

Free, use it all you want.

It'll be on at 10 PM Fridays, right after "HCY" (a rip-off of NBC's "LAX").

Thank You! :)

Why did you have to close this thread. I was going to have Senator Ziller call up.

You missed a great opportunity...

((OOC: You can make the call, but just because it's you :p))

o.o.c. I'll give you a perfect set up. It's hard not to insult him.

i.c.PM Tuesat of Celack took another shot of whiskey and picked up the phone.

"Thish ish Prime minisht-minise-minihgs- minghsj-whatever Tueshat of the LAnd of no pantsh,nad me and my advisher Jack Daniesh, think you should keep telling jokesh! Long live Celack!"

Then he threw up. Loudly.

((OOC: You can make the call, but just because it's you :p))

Senator Ziller was in his office finishing up some paperwork. He turned on the television and started looking as Rosian shows. Ever since his trip to a hotel in TIoR he has been strangely drawn to Rosian comedy shows. The pure anger and hatred he feels after watching one of them gives him the strength to go out and yell at his fellow Senators on the floor of the Royal Senate.

He picked up his telephone and dialed the number that appeared on the screen.

"Bring it on little man!" he yelled in his harsh southern accent. "Bring the big stuff! Don't you dare use spitballs! You will not waste my time, lady!" He was turning red faced by now.

He continued to yell into the phone, his voice was loud enough to carry through the Foreign Ministry Building's ventilation system. Young children on the street below stood in awe at the words following out of the majestic building. "If I am not throughly amused, by God himself I shall fly over to your godforsaken hellhole of a nation, drive to your home, slap you, punch you wife in the gut, and tie you to my car as I drive through a cactus patch! After that I shall challenge you to a duel- PISTOLS AT DAWN!!!

BRING IT ON!"

Executor Xavier Davidson, being distracted by the TV ad, accidentally phoned the aforementioned number as he tried to contact the Tyrandis Strategic Rocket Forces Command.

"General Oppenheimer," said Davidson quickly, "is our plan to wipe out the smelly hippies of Washington and Oregon with VX gas on schedule?"

Anthony responded. "Well well well, it's Executor Xavier Davidson! He can't afford his own clothes so he decides to look like Cloud! There's this thing called an imagination, use it." The audience laughed. "Look at dis guy. He kills rappers, pop singers and God know what. Why? Because he say day a threat to dare way of livin! Even worse, he probably one of them total war supporter, and day usually have small wangies."

The audience kept laughing. "And whys youse wanna kill hippies? You wannas screw dem ovah? Eat sah meat. Cause everytime you eat meat, a hippie loses dare sack or whatevah. So I advise ya to eat meat, get laid, use Viagra, and get some originality cause youse look gay."

PM Tuesat of Celack took another shot of whiskey and picked up the phone.

"Thish ish Prime minisht-minise-minihgs- minghsj- Tueshat of the LAnd of no pantsh,nad me and my advisher Jack Daniesh, think you should keep telling jokesh! Long live Celack!"

Then he threw up. Loudly.

"Well well well! It's the Prime Minister of Celack!" Anthony Damuskus said. "He's drunk as hell, but I like his appointment, Jack Daniels" The audience chuckled. "I guess dis guy ain't gettin re-elected. And I'll be sure to replay over n over until youse are screwed for life. Thank youse for callin, oh and Heinekan is better, bitch."

Senator Ziller was in his office finishing up some paperwork. He turned on the television and started looking as Rosian shows. Ever since his trip to a hotel in TIoR he has been strangely drawn to Rosian comedy shows. The pure anger and hatred he feels after watching one of them gives him the strength to go out and yell at his fellow Senators on the floor of the Royal Senate.

He picked up his telephone and dialed the number that appeared on the screen.

"Bring it on little man!" he yelled in his harsh southern accent. "Bring the big stuff! Don't you dare use spitballs! You will not waste my time, lady!" He was turning red faced by now.

He continued to yell into the phone, his voice was loud enough to carry through the Foreign Ministry Building's ventilation system. Young children on the street below stood in awe at the words following out of the majestic building. "If I am not throughly amused, by God himself I shall fly over to your godforsaken hellhole of a nation, drive to your home, slap you, punch you wife in the gut, and tie you to my car as I drive through a cactus patch! After that I shall challenge you to a duel- PISTOLS AT DAWN!!!

BRING IT ON!"

Anthony was shocked. "Amuse you?" He looked at the Caller ID. "Oh dis is a call from Mel Ziller, Hamptonshire's Foreign Minister!" He looked towards the audience. "And look! Sergei is in the audience!"

The camera pans to a balcony where Sergei and his wife is enjoying the show. "Sergei, you heard dat? He insulted us."

Sergei stood up, he smirked. He shouted at Anthony. "Really now!?"

Anthony responded. "Yas! What do you think we should do? Call his boss and get him fired?"

Sergei chuckled. "Nah! That's too harsh!"

Anthony smirked. "Let's get to sing Imma lil teapot. If youse sing Imma a lil teapot, Sergei here won't call yer boss and git you fired. Or you can give an official Go'erment 'pology. Oh and by the way, stop being so anal rentiveness 'kay? Oh and, go shoot thing it releases stress. And pistols at dawn? Pssh, pistols are for sissies. Come on lil girl, youse gonna sing or say sorry, officially? Or does Sergei here have to call yer boss?"

((OOC: Don't make me start an incident now :) ))

"Yo bitch!"
CEO Franz Josepf was obviously high, like all CEOs
(In loud commercial-like voice)
"WUZZUP!!!"

Tuesat picked up the phone again.
"The jokesh on you. I won the lasht election and i'll win the nexst one. The public hash known for yearsh about my drinking habist and they don't give a shist. And I ran out heininekene-whatever that Fusk it is. Now where ish the goddamn bottle"

"ummmm, this is Pizza palace sir."

"My bad. Shorry."

tuesat hung up and then dialed the right number.

"The jokesh on you. I won the lasht election and i'll win the nexst one. The public hash known for yearsh about my drinking habist and they don't give a shist. And I ran out heininekene-whatever that Fusk it is. Now where ish the goddamn bottle. And thish better not be that goddamn pizza place again!"

Ziller yelled three simple words: "BRING IT ON!"

"Yo bitch!"
CEO Franz Josepf was obviously high, like all CEOs
(In loud commercial-like voice)
"WUZZUP!!!"

Anthony sighed. "My God! The world is run by idiots! We have a drunkard, a CEO that can't talk right, a pirate, a guy who uses too much gel, a person with an anger problem. Dis world is screwed! Go back to corrupting youself, geez." Click.

Tuesat picked up the phone again.
"The jokesh on you. I won the lasht election and i'll win the nexst one. The public hash known for yearsh about my drinking habist and they don't give a shist. And I ran out heininekene-whatever that Fusk it is. Now where ish the goddamn bottle"

"ummmm, this is Pizza palace sir."

"My bad. Shorry."

tuesat hung up and then dialed the right number.

"The jokesh on you. I won the lasht election and i'll win the nexst one. The public hash known for yearsh about my drinking habist and they don't give a shist. And I ran out heininekene-whatever that Fusk it is. Now where ish the goddamn bottle. And thish better not be that goddamn pizza place again!"

Anthony cackled. "Then your people are idiots! I wouldn't vote for a drunkard if a hookers flash-ed here breasteses and started rubbing on me. Jizziz!"

Ziller yelled three simple words: "BRING IT ON!"

Anthony sighed. "Bring what on? Youse wanna fight? Come over here, right now youse look like an idiot on internationalism televisionism. What youse gonna do, bitch samore?"

Sergei chuckled and started dialing Ziller's wife. "Your husband is getting pissed off over international television. I'm concerned that he's taking it too seriously, do you think you can calm him down?"

Susan Ziller drove herself the three miles from the Foreign Minister's Residence to her husband's office.

Why did the Senate make Mel Foreign Minister? He is about as diplomatic and cool headed as a thermonuclear warhead. she thought to herself as she took the elevator up to the office.

She walked into the waiting area and had one of the secretaries open the door. "Hello dear, I'm just talking to some bastard Rosian." Ziller calmly said to his wife.

Without stopping Susan walked over to her husband, turned his chair around, and promptly hit him in the back of the head with her purse. "You hang up that phone right now." Mel timidly hung up the phone.

"The Prime Minister is recovering from surgery, Allenby is in Schultaria Prime, and the Grand Duke is visiting Scotland- you are the highest ranking government official in the country. Use some restraint for the love of God!" She scolded him as she readied "The Chamber".

"The Chamber" is one of Mel's little secrets. Behind the gruff and fiery image of the man was a man that liked aroma therapy. "The Chamber" is a custom-built portably aroma therapy unit; just enough space for one person, easy to fit in a large suitcase, and once constructed it was nearly sound proof. After thirty years of marriage, Susan could assemble "The Chamber" in her sleep with one hand tied behind her back.

Without a word of protest Ziller stepped into the chamber and began to inhale the soothing lavander fumes.

Anthony smirked. "Hah! Not so tough are ya!" He said this as he hung up the phone. "Doesn't mattah if youse the toughest guy in da planet, your gurl is da one that controls youse."

The audience gave a standing ovation to Anthony as the show ended with that little quote. And so, Anthony walks away unscathed, alive, and a whole lot richer. And the studio? Let's just say they won't be pulling another stunt like that again. Why? The bill is 5 Billion Roses... I see a studio getting nationalized in the future.