NationStates Jolt Archive

A synthetic pillow stuffing has been linked to a major skin condition affecting the citizens of Khwarezmia. As a result there has been a witch hunt of pillows, and pyres covering the landscape as millions of pillows are being incinerated.

This has left a major vacuum of pillows, and for Khwarezmia to get a good night's sleep tonight - we need those pillows!

Khwarezmia is looking for an order of 101 million pillows with none synthetic stuffing a.s.a.p. KAF St. Loren has military transports ready to assist importing the pillows.

Phoenix Dynamix will rush you 1 million feather filled pillows immediately!!!!

C-15 Cargo Jets are on the way and will airdrop them.
Courtesy of the Phoenix Milita

If you want more than 1million you will need to pay us $6.99 per pillow plus S&H

The government of Jeruselem questions why the Khwarezmia would be using pillows originally branded the "ACME Totally Dodgy Asbestosis inducing factory surplus death pillows" in the first place.

God bless

The shocked government of Tenarius has prepared 5 million pillows immediately! They will be stuffed by natural wool materials, and should be able to give your citizen's a great night's rest without the itchy-scratchies.

They will be taken in by long-range air transports immediately!

*major airlift of hydrocortisone lotions*

The airdrop of pillows has begun
http://www.army-technology.com/contractor_images/airlift/image_5s.jpg
Please do not try to catch the boxes as they float down on parachutes.
Ironically the boxes of pillows are very hard and could cause injury :D

$664,050,000 +$2,000,000 S&H for 95 million pillows is being wired to you as this is written. Hopefully that will cover the cost, if there is any problem wire us immediately.

The Tsar sends many thanks and regards on behalf of the Khwarezmian People (fortunately the didn't suffer from the problem - being the Tsar he gets posh pillows) to Phoenix Dynamix and Tenarious for their aid and help in this matter. Khwarezmia is ever in your debt.


The government of Jeruselem questions why the Khwarezmia would be using pillows originally branded the "ACME Totally Dodgy Asbestosis inducing factory surplus death pillows" in the first place.

God bless

It seems that the pillows somehow passed through our rigorous safety checks. Those responsible are being reprimanded severely.

*major airlift of hydrocortisone lotions*

Khwarezmia sends their many thanks for your aid, and hopes that we may in future repay your kindness.

Very well, expect a few more airdrops within the next few hours, you should have all the pillows before bedtime ;)

Cross Pharmaceticals is willing to donate any materials required to produce drugs to fight the dermatology problems of your nation. We will also send reps to help advise on the best use of these type of drugs.

Cross Pharmaceticals is willing to donate any materials required to produce drugs to fight the dermatology problems of your nation. We will also send reps to help advise on the best use of these type of drugs.

It seems that the pillows were the cause. The KMN News Channel are currently testing a new pillow, to no obvious ill effects, and Princess Lara is also doing a test at this moment, also to no obvious ill-effect.
Thank you for your offer, however, Khwarezmia State University in Oakengrad is interested in meeting your reps, so we may continue research into pharmaceuticals together and perhaps be able to cure many other ailments and diseases?

It seems that the pillows were the cause. The KMN News Channel are currently testing a new pillow, to no obvious ill effects, and Princess Lara is also doing a test at this moment, also to no obvious ill-effect.
Thank you for your offer, however, Khwarezmia State University in Oakengrad is interested in meeting your reps, so we may continue research into pharmaceuticals together and perhaps be able to cure many other ailments and diseases?

We were aware of the effects of users using the ACME Totally Dodgy Asbestosis inducing factory surplus death pillows but many seem to not recover from the dermatological problems caused (mainly older people with already damaged skin). We accept your offer to assist Khwarezmia State University with it's research for the benefit of your peoples.

God bless

We were aware of the effects of users using the ACME Totally Dodgy Asbestosis inducing factory surplus death pillows but many seem to not recover from the dermatological problems caused (mainly older people with already damaged skin). We accept your offer to assist Khwarezmia State University with it's research for the benefit of your peoples.

God bless

Many Thanks, preparations for their arrival are being made.

Many Thanks, preparations for their arrival are being made.

We advise you sue the living daylights out of the supplier of this dodgy pillow and send them bankrupt. If that fails, the factory will accidentally explode killing all management in the future.

Without the required aircraft to drop our 500,000 pillows, Socialist Serbia will load them into artillery cannon and fire them wildly in the vague direction of you nation.

Roughy 70% will destroy themselves as they are fired, 10% land safely(ish) somewhere near your land, and 20% will land as flaming lumps of red-hot feathery death.

God speed!

Night fell over Khwarezmia. In Verengrad City Prison, three ex-Sales Managers sat morosely on their ply-wood board beds, their faces swollen and blotchy. Three pillows were lying on the ground, partly ripped open - the prisoners had thought better of destroying them after they began to choke and their hands swelled up too.
The last rays of sun disappeared from the horizon as a pillow hit the cell window with a light thud. The remains of it bore the markings "Socialist Siberia."

Somewhere along the coast of Khwarezmia, the fourth Sales-Manager ran across the cliff-top. I little way of shore there was a small boat waiting for him. He pulled out a flare and fired it, red smoke erupted from the cliff.

Unfortunately for us, we were unable to see the Captain's face as he watched through his binoculars, a flaming pillow plummet from the sky and knock the Sales-Manager off, and descend the hundred feet before he hit the sand.

In Oakengrad, chemists from Jeruselem's Cross Pharamceuticals and Khwarezmia University discussed the effects of the old pillows and how they could be rectified.


Meanwhile the rest of the Khwarezmian population applied Vastivan Hydrocortisone Lotion before retiring to their beds and feather and wool stuffed pillows for a good night's sleep.

Darkness covered the country, except for a few remaining pillow pyres that dotted the landscape.