Fenswick
30-11-2004, 20:02
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Latest reports from the Grand Dutchy of Fenswick report that the majority of it's rainforests have "gone missing".
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An official statement from the Sirus Fitzwalter, Head Game Warden of the Dutchy Game Reserve follows:
"This morning I went to see how the 20 yoshi we received from Bob-omb were doing in their new breeding reserve (Ed: these are part of a special captive breeding program) and found the rainforest just missing! I can't be certain, but it looks as if these "yoshi" are in fact terribly destructive of forests, I have issued a "shoot to kill" order to my wardens if they see any of them."
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Meanwhile environmental protestors have gathered outside the regional offices of Amalgamated Mining, who were recently granted a ducal charter to extract Uranium from under the rainforests. A protestor (name withheld) said "These companies are all the same - they will destroy the whol world in the name of profit".
Dr. H Jones, a spokeman for Amalgamated had this response "we are as puzzled as everyone, about the only rainforest left is the part we are mining. We are under very strict rules on environmental impact so it wasn't us."
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A officer of the Dutchy Guard made the following statement:
"At the moment we are following up several areas of investigation, but I urge anyone seeing sizeable stocks of Fenswick Oak, a tree nearly unique to the Grand Dutchy to notify their local law enforcement immediately. We are seeking Interpol co-operation on this one - if anyone has stolen the forest for the timber we are going to catch them. Thank-you."
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Sources inside the Dutchy Guard indicate that all Fenswick companies are under investigation to see if they wanted the land made available for industrial use.
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An official Ducal statement made today indicates that every attempt to re-plant the missing forest will be made, what this means in practice remains to be seen.
STOP PRESS
Latest reports from the Grand Dutchy of Fenswick report that the majority of it's rainforests have "gone missing".
···
An official statement from the Sirus Fitzwalter, Head Game Warden of the Dutchy Game Reserve follows:
"This morning I went to see how the 20 yoshi we received from Bob-omb were doing in their new breeding reserve (Ed: these are part of a special captive breeding program) and found the rainforest just missing! I can't be certain, but it looks as if these "yoshi" are in fact terribly destructive of forests, I have issued a "shoot to kill" order to my wardens if they see any of them."
···
Meanwhile environmental protestors have gathered outside the regional offices of Amalgamated Mining, who were recently granted a ducal charter to extract Uranium from under the rainforests. A protestor (name withheld) said "These companies are all the same - they will destroy the whol world in the name of profit".
Dr. H Jones, a spokeman for Amalgamated had this response "we are as puzzled as everyone, about the only rainforest left is the part we are mining. We are under very strict rules on environmental impact so it wasn't us."
···
A officer of the Dutchy Guard made the following statement:
"At the moment we are following up several areas of investigation, but I urge anyone seeing sizeable stocks of Fenswick Oak, a tree nearly unique to the Grand Dutchy to notify their local law enforcement immediately. We are seeking Interpol co-operation on this one - if anyone has stolen the forest for the timber we are going to catch them. Thank-you."
···
Sources inside the Dutchy Guard indicate that all Fenswick companies are under investigation to see if they wanted the land made available for industrial use.
···
An official Ducal statement made today indicates that every attempt to re-plant the missing forest will be made, what this means in practice remains to be seen.
STOP PRESS