Orion_ofthe_stars
28-11-2004, 03:31
101 Ways to Annoy, Harass, or Generally Scare Shogun Yamoto Kira
1. Ask him why he dosen't have a life.
2. Make fun of him in letters to each other that he can't reply to.
3. Ask him if he needs you to sing him a lullabye
4. Knit him things. Really hideous things.
5. Tell him he has ears like a kangaroo, then magically give him kangaroo ears.
6. Smile during peace negotiations and tell everyone that you taught him everything he knows.
7. If he tells you to be quiet chew bubble gum very loudly.
8. Dance the Funky Chicken.
9. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.
10. Pat him on the head and give him flowers when his plans are foiled yet again
11. If you ever need to say 'Like taking candy from a baby', be sure to add ‘You’re the baby.’
12. Play 'knock-&-run' at his bedchamber door late at night.
13. Call him, ‘the-boy-who-won’t-live’
14. Ask why his face couldn't look like something 'more socially acceptable?'
15. Insist that you have met chunks of cheese with more cunning plans than his.
16. Pinch him. Make sure he squeals.
17. Be cheerful. Don’t start wars.
18. When he tries to impress you with his sword say 'Awwwww, lookit. Yamato’s got a dagger!'
19. Try to teach him to play a mouth organ.
20. Roll your eyes during plotting sessions and say things under your breath like 'You're the boss, boss' or 'It's your funeral.'
21. Greet him in the mornings with a sarcastic 'My sir, you look particularly menacing today.'
22. Taunt him about his name. 'Yamato? What’s that, a washing detergent?'
23. Keep a 'good-behaviour chart'. Award points and give out gold stars. If he earns one, staple it to his forehead.
24. Tell him he’d look better with a paper bag over his head.
25. Teleport into and out of his room rapidly. Do this non-stop for an hour. *poof* there *poof* gone *poof* there....
26. Play cards with him. Tell him he has no poker-face and how does he expect to rule supreme without one?
27. Let off party-poppers in his face whenever the urge strikes you.
28. 'Did you even HAVE a girlfriend? Like, ever?'
29. Get a pair of finger puppets closely resembling himself and Kaymiril. Re-enact all of Kaymiril’s victories over him in a spectacularly childish way. Be sure to give them both squeaky voices.
30. Anytime he enters any room, insist on entering first and announcing him grandly.
31. In these announcements, fake a trumpet noise and give him an equally fake drumroll.
32. Exclaim sarcastically 'You're breakin' my little heart here, o dark one' whenever he starts to talk of what has caused to become who he is.
33. Encourage him to 'think happy thoughts!'
34. Ask him to give you written summaries of his sinister plots for revenge and war. Correct his spelling. ((Please do, it’s really bad))
35. Tell him to pick on people his own size, not bigger.
36. Tell you think a yoga class could 'cure him of his wicked ways'
37. Get the song ‘You’re a mean one Mr. Grinch’ stuck in his head.
38. If he can’t think of anything to say, imitate his voice with a random plan of your own.
39. Tell him constantly to stop repressing his anger.
40. Buy him a stress ball. Make it look like his face.
41. Hint that he’s not as real as he thinks.
42. Call him Yami-boy.
43. Get his name wrong. ‘Yams? Isn’t that a vegetable.’
44. Whack him in the arm and say 'mosquito' - every few minutes.
45. Tell people he had plastic surgery, that’s why people don’t die when they look at him, only hurl.
46. If he has a pet, eat it. Offer him some.
47. Endeavor to teach him to steeple his fingers, lean back and say 'Eeeexcellent'.
48. Start drawing outlandish parallels between his life story and 'Star Wars'. Talk at great length.
49. Be generally in awe of him and never look away.
50. Pay a choir to follow him around singing bright and cheerful songs.
51. Shower him with confetti and rice, anytime you think he needs to make a 'grand entry'.
52. Paint all of his mobile suits with bright colors and glitter.
53. Throw him a 'care-bears' themed birthday party.
54. Tell him that his people want to go socialist.
55. Ask him if he’s afraid of babies, if he says yes, ask him if he’s afraid of himself.
56. Sing 'California Dreamin' at the top of your lungs when he's trying to have an 'evil moment'
57. Should you ever be eating with him - drum tunes with your cutlery, play with your food and blow bubbles in your chocolate milk.
58. Ask him to dance a polka with you.
59. Work cutesy phrases like 'pushing-up-daisies' and 'smooth-as-a-baby's-bottom' into conversation as much as possible.
60. Ask him if he's sure 'the whole evil-maniac-out-for-power- thing isn't getting a bit old?'
61. Get him to play 'Twister' with you.
62. Tell him you know this great therapist in London....
63. Throw tupperware parties. Insist he sit through them.
64. Tell him you've met plenty of people more capitalist than he.
65. Hide his teddy bear. That ALWAYS makes him cry.
66. Get him a plant. Act mortally offended when he doesn't water it and it dies.
67. Steal, break and bury his sword.
68. Tell him the teddy bears did it. ((That alone would crush him))
69. Give the national inquirer full knowledge of his whereabouts and contact details.
70. Remind him that this is the internet, it’s not real
71. Write him a theme song. Start singing it whenever he is about to do or say something particularly clever and nasty.
72. Offer to sacrifice one of his best friends ‘to the cause’
73. Insist on reading him bedtime stories. Include 'The Ugly Duckling'
74. Make vague allusions to Kaymiril being his mother.
75. When he's done something particularly nasty - cross your arms, waggle a finger and say 'Now now, do you really think your father would have approved of that?'
76. Ask him how he can possibly wish to harm a single hair on the head of 'that sweet, innocent, cute little socialist.'
77. Tell him LIBRA has failed and we know what it is anyways.
78. Lecture him at great length on why he shouldn't pick on people bigger then him.
79. Leave disgusting and rotting dead things near him. Insist that it is 'Aromatherapy'
80. Call him a bed wetting communist.
81. Do not EVER act in the slightest way intimidated by him. Treat him as you would an eccentric aquaintance.
82. Cuddle him at random moments.
83. Sign him up for Little-League.
84. Ask him why he’s oppressing people in the name of liberation.
85. Throw biscuits at him. Constantly.
86. Tell him you think evil master plans of conquering the Temple are 'kind of girlie'
87. Quote Kaymiril Espon. Insist SHE will one day rule the internet world.
88. Wonder aloud whether the name Yamoto commands as much respect as, say, Big Bird or Barney.
89. Mimic everything he says in a sing-song voice.
90. Mimic everything he does with exaggerated limb-movements.
91. Write sonnets for him.
92. Insist he help you with the newspaper crossword every morning.
93. Offer him ice-cream in the middle of a battle.
94. Tell people he's 'really just a big softie'
95. Psychoanalyze him. Conclude that he is 'mildy depressed' and 'a bit of a control-freak'.
96. Mock his nose, ask him if he had plastic surgery to make it so big.
97. Smile and say loudly 'Who loves you, Kira?' at inopportune moments.
98. Get him drunk.
99. Drag out a banjo during planning meetings and start playing 'Kumbayah'
100. Let him catch you messing with LIBRA.
101. Be a socialist, be alive.
((origionally written by Amanda Lack, gotten from mugglenet.com))
1. Ask him why he dosen't have a life.
2. Make fun of him in letters to each other that he can't reply to.
3. Ask him if he needs you to sing him a lullabye
4. Knit him things. Really hideous things.
5. Tell him he has ears like a kangaroo, then magically give him kangaroo ears.
6. Smile during peace negotiations and tell everyone that you taught him everything he knows.
7. If he tells you to be quiet chew bubble gum very loudly.
8. Dance the Funky Chicken.
9. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.
10. Pat him on the head and give him flowers when his plans are foiled yet again
11. If you ever need to say 'Like taking candy from a baby', be sure to add ‘You’re the baby.’
12. Play 'knock-&-run' at his bedchamber door late at night.
13. Call him, ‘the-boy-who-won’t-live’
14. Ask why his face couldn't look like something 'more socially acceptable?'
15. Insist that you have met chunks of cheese with more cunning plans than his.
16. Pinch him. Make sure he squeals.
17. Be cheerful. Don’t start wars.
18. When he tries to impress you with his sword say 'Awwwww, lookit. Yamato’s got a dagger!'
19. Try to teach him to play a mouth organ.
20. Roll your eyes during plotting sessions and say things under your breath like 'You're the boss, boss' or 'It's your funeral.'
21. Greet him in the mornings with a sarcastic 'My sir, you look particularly menacing today.'
22. Taunt him about his name. 'Yamato? What’s that, a washing detergent?'
23. Keep a 'good-behaviour chart'. Award points and give out gold stars. If he earns one, staple it to his forehead.
24. Tell him he’d look better with a paper bag over his head.
25. Teleport into and out of his room rapidly. Do this non-stop for an hour. *poof* there *poof* gone *poof* there....
26. Play cards with him. Tell him he has no poker-face and how does he expect to rule supreme without one?
27. Let off party-poppers in his face whenever the urge strikes you.
28. 'Did you even HAVE a girlfriend? Like, ever?'
29. Get a pair of finger puppets closely resembling himself and Kaymiril. Re-enact all of Kaymiril’s victories over him in a spectacularly childish way. Be sure to give them both squeaky voices.
30. Anytime he enters any room, insist on entering first and announcing him grandly.
31. In these announcements, fake a trumpet noise and give him an equally fake drumroll.
32. Exclaim sarcastically 'You're breakin' my little heart here, o dark one' whenever he starts to talk of what has caused to become who he is.
33. Encourage him to 'think happy thoughts!'
34. Ask him to give you written summaries of his sinister plots for revenge and war. Correct his spelling. ((Please do, it’s really bad))
35. Tell him to pick on people his own size, not bigger.
36. Tell you think a yoga class could 'cure him of his wicked ways'
37. Get the song ‘You’re a mean one Mr. Grinch’ stuck in his head.
38. If he can’t think of anything to say, imitate his voice with a random plan of your own.
39. Tell him constantly to stop repressing his anger.
40. Buy him a stress ball. Make it look like his face.
41. Hint that he’s not as real as he thinks.
42. Call him Yami-boy.
43. Get his name wrong. ‘Yams? Isn’t that a vegetable.’
44. Whack him in the arm and say 'mosquito' - every few minutes.
45. Tell people he had plastic surgery, that’s why people don’t die when they look at him, only hurl.
46. If he has a pet, eat it. Offer him some.
47. Endeavor to teach him to steeple his fingers, lean back and say 'Eeeexcellent'.
48. Start drawing outlandish parallels between his life story and 'Star Wars'. Talk at great length.
49. Be generally in awe of him and never look away.
50. Pay a choir to follow him around singing bright and cheerful songs.
51. Shower him with confetti and rice, anytime you think he needs to make a 'grand entry'.
52. Paint all of his mobile suits with bright colors and glitter.
53. Throw him a 'care-bears' themed birthday party.
54. Tell him that his people want to go socialist.
55. Ask him if he’s afraid of babies, if he says yes, ask him if he’s afraid of himself.
56. Sing 'California Dreamin' at the top of your lungs when he's trying to have an 'evil moment'
57. Should you ever be eating with him - drum tunes with your cutlery, play with your food and blow bubbles in your chocolate milk.
58. Ask him to dance a polka with you.
59. Work cutesy phrases like 'pushing-up-daisies' and 'smooth-as-a-baby's-bottom' into conversation as much as possible.
60. Ask him if he's sure 'the whole evil-maniac-out-for-power- thing isn't getting a bit old?'
61. Get him to play 'Twister' with you.
62. Tell him you know this great therapist in London....
63. Throw tupperware parties. Insist he sit through them.
64. Tell him you've met plenty of people more capitalist than he.
65. Hide his teddy bear. That ALWAYS makes him cry.
66. Get him a plant. Act mortally offended when he doesn't water it and it dies.
67. Steal, break and bury his sword.
68. Tell him the teddy bears did it. ((That alone would crush him))
69. Give the national inquirer full knowledge of his whereabouts and contact details.
70. Remind him that this is the internet, it’s not real
71. Write him a theme song. Start singing it whenever he is about to do or say something particularly clever and nasty.
72. Offer to sacrifice one of his best friends ‘to the cause’
73. Insist on reading him bedtime stories. Include 'The Ugly Duckling'
74. Make vague allusions to Kaymiril being his mother.
75. When he's done something particularly nasty - cross your arms, waggle a finger and say 'Now now, do you really think your father would have approved of that?'
76. Ask him how he can possibly wish to harm a single hair on the head of 'that sweet, innocent, cute little socialist.'
77. Tell him LIBRA has failed and we know what it is anyways.
78. Lecture him at great length on why he shouldn't pick on people bigger then him.
79. Leave disgusting and rotting dead things near him. Insist that it is 'Aromatherapy'
80. Call him a bed wetting communist.
81. Do not EVER act in the slightest way intimidated by him. Treat him as you would an eccentric aquaintance.
82. Cuddle him at random moments.
83. Sign him up for Little-League.
84. Ask him why he’s oppressing people in the name of liberation.
85. Throw biscuits at him. Constantly.
86. Tell him you think evil master plans of conquering the Temple are 'kind of girlie'
87. Quote Kaymiril Espon. Insist SHE will one day rule the internet world.
88. Wonder aloud whether the name Yamoto commands as much respect as, say, Big Bird or Barney.
89. Mimic everything he says in a sing-song voice.
90. Mimic everything he does with exaggerated limb-movements.
91. Write sonnets for him.
92. Insist he help you with the newspaper crossword every morning.
93. Offer him ice-cream in the middle of a battle.
94. Tell people he's 'really just a big softie'
95. Psychoanalyze him. Conclude that he is 'mildy depressed' and 'a bit of a control-freak'.
96. Mock his nose, ask him if he had plastic surgery to make it so big.
97. Smile and say loudly 'Who loves you, Kira?' at inopportune moments.
98. Get him drunk.
99. Drag out a banjo during planning meetings and start playing 'Kumbayah'
100. Let him catch you messing with LIBRA.
101. Be a socialist, be alive.
((origionally written by Amanda Lack, gotten from mugglenet.com))