NationStates Jolt Archive

-- OFFICIAL DECLARATION OF WAR --

I will not tolerate your presence any longer, you war-mongering, commine hating, socialist-slaughtering totalitarian dictator! If you have any balls, you will stand up and fight me like a man! But you won't because your leader is a mere woman! BWAHAHAHAHAHA...

[Minister of Foreign Affairs - Larizen]: PM Arkyan...you're a woman too...

[PM Arkyan]: Damnit! But still... BWAHAHAHA!! I declare war on Brycovia...just because we don't like their existance!

Yeah...that and they called us pot-smoking granola munchin' commies! We won't stand for that! That...and... Well, they're harbouring old members and loyalist to the former totalitarian dictotorial regime that used to oppress our people! We must obliverate them!

And yes, we're in NATO! BWAHAHAHA! Let's see you try and eradicate us!

-- OFFICIAL DECLARATION OF WAR --

I will not tolerate your presence any longer, you war-mongering, commine hating, socialist-slaughtering totalitarian dictator! If you have any balls, you will stand up and fight me like a man! But you won't because your leader is a mere woman! BWAHAHAHAHAHA...

[Minister of Foreign Affairs - Larizen]: PM Arkyan...you're a woman too...

[PM Arkyan]: Damnit! But still... BWAHAHAHA!! I declare war on Brycovia...just because we don't like their existance!

Yeah...that and they called us pot-smoking granola munchin' commies! We won't stand for that! That...and... Well, they're harbouring old members and loyalist to the former totalitarian dictotorial regime that used to oppress our people! We must obliverate them!

And yes, we're in NATO! BWAHAHAHA! Let's see you try and eradicate us!
"The Hell...Ok... Whatever go ahead the beat the hell out of them for calling you a crackhead..."
Foreign Minister Dr. Alice al Bin Umayyad
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v504/Ottoman01/story.jpg

OFFICIAL MISSIVE FROM BRYCOVIA TO KRYOZERKIA

From: Her Holiness, Sister Veraka of the Sisterhood of Ve'Klee of Brycovia

To: Prime Minister Theklia Arkyan, Kryozerkia


Prime Minister,

It has come to our attention that you pose hostilities towards us. We, of the Holy Nation of Brycovia, are shocked at your audacity. We have held a companionable relation with your country for decades, nay centuries. It is obvious to any that have even a modicrum of intelligence (which you obviously do not) that we are a peace loving nation.

Therefore, as Secretary of Defense of the great nation of Kryozerkia, I have no other alternative than to crush you. You are a stain on all nations within this region and I will not suffer fools.

With his Holiness away on a religious convention, I shall declare war on you, heathen. Your stupidity and arrogance has reached its limit and we shall see a new and wise ruler in our sister land, or we will all perish!

Sister Veraka of the Holy Order of Ve'Klee
Secretary of Defense
The Holy Theocracy of Brycovia

FROM: Prime Minister Theklia Arkyan, Kryozerkia

TO: Her Holiness, Sister Veraka of the Sisterhood of Ve'Klee of Brycovia

A wise ruler you say? Yet your nation is a foolish theocracy lead by a blind fool who has yet to see the error of his ways. You rule the people with an ironfist and they are unable to pursue their dreams and live their lives as they should, free of the oppression of the Catholic church.

For that, we are liberating the people of Brycovia!

FIRE ALL MISSILES!

FROM: Her Holiness, Sister Veraka of the Sisterhood of Ve'Klee of Brycovia

TO: Prime Minister Theklia Arkyan, Kryozerkia


THE INSOLENCE!!!

We shall raze your fields and your lands so nothing is there, heathen wench! You shall burn in Hell FOR ALL ETERNITY!!!!

DIE HEATHEN SCUM, DIE!!

All fighters, IN THE AIR AND ATTACK!!

ATTN: MS AUs...

Prepare for battle! Send in the Air fleet for combat!

Tragos

* Registry Number: OZ-07MS
* Height: 13.8 meters
* Weight: 7.7 tons
* Material: Titanium
* Armaments: Beam Rifle, (and maybe Cannon X2)
* Fighting Ability: 90
* Weapons Ability: 110
* Speed Ability: 110
* Powered Ability: 110
* Armored Ability: 110


Taurus

* Registry Number: OZ-125MS
* Height: 16.8 meters
* Weight: 7.9 tons
* Material: Titanium
* Armaments: Beam Cannon, Laser Gun (optional)
* Fighting Ability: 100
* Weapons Ability: 110
* Speed Ability: 125
* Powered Ability: 110
* Armored Ability: 110

The Tragos and Taurus fighters from the Kryozerkian Imperial MS-Aerial Division are sent into battle. They have taken to the skies over Kryozerkia, which borders on Brycovia.

FROM: Arkyan
TO: Kryozerkian Imperial MS-Aerial Division

Initiate plan Reducto on incoming fighters.

The Kryozerkian Imperial MS-Aerial Division, waited until the fighters came into sight.

*Voice* Damnit... Why did they have to equip themselves with projectile crosses and holy water?

*Voice 2* just fire, asshole!

We,The United Socialist States of Comunisticturkeys will be prou to help Kyrozerkia in your war if yuo need any military need ask and it will be sent.

Comrade Zaitsez, Minister Of War for The United Socialist States of Comunisticturkeys

ATTN: BAF Command

Launch all fighters towards Kerzokoia. Launch Project Salvation.



Holy Trinity

* Registry Number: OZ-14MS
* Height: 16.6 meters
* Weight: 8.9 tons
* Material: Holy Gundanium
* Armaments: Beam Scimitar
* Fighting Ability: 120
* Weapons Ability: 130
* Speed Ability: 110
* Powered Ability: 98
* Armored Ability: 150


The Special Forces Fighter Group, The Holy Trinity of Brycovia, made it's way towards the border of Brycovia and Kryozerkia.

{Voice 1} Uh...Sergeant? Why are we doing this again?
{Voice 2} Orders, private. Orders.
{Voice 1} Uhm...so if we're ordered to kill ourselves, we do it?
{Voice 2} That's right son...and go to Hell happy.

From: Emperor Nero Trotsky
To: Brycovian Leader

We in Nerotika are appauled by the rash actions of Kryozerkia. We write tou your today to tell you that we are on yours side in this affair. If you need any assistants my troops are prepared to help you. I currently have a full fleet of (76) XM-319 Pellican transport's each can hold up to 20 troops. My pellicans are on full alert. I also have a full sqaud of 50 elites prepared for battle. Please reply.

Sincerly,

General Isela Nearheight, Emperor Nero Trotsky (The Empire of Nerotika)

Juosh will help Brycovia in this instance. We will not stand to watch Kyrozerkia's blatant imperialism. Military forces will soon be dispatched for defense in Brycovia. With their permission of course.

SIC: Task Force Mariner had departed for Brycovia, Juosh would help them in this war with Kyrozerkia. They would put a defense position and would not go on the offensive unless ordered.

"Admiral do you know the reasons for the war between Brycovia and Kyrozerkia? According to the crew it's just a border dispute."

"No, there is no reason for this war, Kyrozerkia is just being a blatant imperialist, intelligence is looking up Kyrozerkia's past. Our mission may become more severe in the future. Admiral Corrosav and Admiral Aquaras have told me that there may be... more developments as this war progresses. But for now it is a strict defensive mission. Nothing much to worry about."

"But why are we helping Brycovia? Juosh will gain nothing from this except dead soldiers. Why not leave this to theirselves? I see no reason for this war at all."

" The reason is clear, to help stop Kyrozerkia's imperialism. We are not sure about how... helpful Brycovia is going to be or how willing their going to be with our help. Task Force Meridean is prepared for instant deployment, if the war gets out of hand."

OOC: Task Force Mariner

3 Carriers
50 Frigates
50 Cruisers
2 Battleships
3 Destroyers
100 transports
20 Smaller submarines
3 Ohio Class submarines
1st Army
2nd Artillery
4th Aerial Division

1st Army
General Ibu-ishallah
Morale: Low

100,000 infantry
2000 tanks
2000 artillery
2000 medics
200 standard militia


2nd Artillery

200 Howitzers
100 Mortars
50 other artillery

4th Aerial Division

500 Fighters
300 bombers
25 Recon planes

Deep in Muskrat Mountain, two techs were jolted from their slumbers as OVERSIGHT began to scream warnings.

They watched their screens, baffled at the huge movement of troops and equipment. There were no reports to write - computers did that automatically - but the human response needed to be told.

One looked at the other and stated in a low and serious voice:





"Ten bucks on Kyrozerkia."
"Twenty."
"Done."

*voice 1* Go right... I'll take that mousy looking church type on my left...
*voice 2* they are all mousy looking church types

The two pilots were navigating with Tragos mobile suits equipped with beam canon rifles.

*voice 1* damnit! I can't hit them!
*voice 2* well, they can't hit us either! HA! Their holy water is useless! They can't take us down.

PM Arkyan,
The AUs from Brycovia can't be knocked down.
Permission to use anti-Brycovia heating seeking
holy-water countering water balloons.


The other pilots didn't enjoy this. It was far too futile.

This is taking too long. They won't fall...

Arkyan was at the military headquarters with her generals.

"They don't like...well...tough! They will win. They just have to stop whining..."

One of her generals looked up. "But it's a stalemate..."

She glared at him then at the screen. "damnit!"

Back on the battlefield with the two unknown pilots of two of the Tragos...

*Voice 1* did you get permission?
*voice 2* not yet...
*Vocie 1* well, I'm firing anyway!
*Voice 2* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!.... Uh...what am I saying...I mean... WOOHOO!!!

Now, at the headquarters, a messenger came in.

"It seems that Brycovia has some allies."

The Prime Minister didn't look too impressed. "Who are they?"

"A couple of noname nations. Juosh and Nerotika." the messenger replied. "They won't be a problem. Just send a couple of Varyates and Tragos and they will be going back home. They are past tech."

"You aren't paid to give me military advice."

"Uh...Prime Minister? I'm paid to be in the military. I'm a Captain."

"oh..." she replied looking slightly surprised.

He rolled his eyes. It should have been obvious since he was wearing his uniform. He then added, "they are doing this because they believe it is imperialism."

"This is about honour!"

"Prime Minister! Incoming request to use anti-Brycovia heating seeking holy-water countering water balloons..."

"FIRE! Tell them to fire already!"

The Captain rolled his eyes. "It'll be futile... They bought their equipment from us. They will be able to return fire of the same calibre."

"So? Fire anyway!"

Kyrozerkia we of Idznambekistan are willing to aid you in your war againest Brycovia. However we wish to be able to plunder what ever money, resources, technology, etc we come across withen their lands without restrictions, this will cover the movement of our troops into your area.


Sincerely
El Presidente de IDznambekistan

OOC: It seems as if NATO isn't helping...and as a member of NATO, I'm not going to help you, either. :p

OOC: It seems as if NATO isn't helping...and as a member of NATO, I'm not going to help you, either. :p
OOC: If you did, I'd have to worry about your sense of humour. Do like Vastiva does... ;)

OOC: Ah, I've just noticed that Brycovia and Kryozerkia are played by the same player. Plus I won't become involved in a Future war.

IC: Admiral Galencia "Men, turn around we're heading back to Juosh. We have... other business to attend to."

"But Admiral, we've already come half way, why turn back?"

"The Parliament has its reasons, it's confidential for the most part. But there is one thing I can say, it seems that Kryozerkia could possibly be controlling Brycovia's President. Through some sort of device, that or it's a war to get as many people as possible to combat them, then turn on us. At least that's what Intelligence believes. Anyhow these are two future tech nations, way to advanced for us. We have our orders to return home."

The Juosh Task Force turns around and heads back to Juosh.

OOC: Ah, I've just noticed that Brycovia and Kryozerkia are played by the same player. Plus I won't become involved in a Future war.
.
ooc: sorry, wrong again. Farflorin and Kryozerkia are the same player; Kutou-koku and Kryozerkia are the same player. Brycovia and Kryozerkia aren't the same players.

OOC: Well it's only a guess, I'm just looking at the rp style. It looks too much alike. It really doesn't matter, we're not becoming involved in the war anyways. Just my guess.

OOC: uhm...hello? Brycovia and Kryozeria are run by two entirely different rp players. Me and Kryozerkia have roleplayed with each other for years, so maybe that's how you might have thought that...so since I haven't posted in awhile I can't see how you'd think that. *grumbles about looking on the board and would see that she's only posted 2 times and that her nation is over 1 billion people, which doesn't happen overnight*

IC:

"Secretary? Juosh has backed out of their alliance," an aide to the Secretary of Defense advised her quietly.

"What?! How dare they! They gave their honorable vow to help us! The infidels! They shall burn in the holy fires of hell!!"

The aide sweatdropped, bowing his head. Why couldn't he have gotten another job? As a baker or something? "I don't rightly know, your eminence. What shall we do about the stalemate at the border?"

"Stalemate? MASSACRE THE HEATHENS!!!"

ooc: uh...dear? You have over 2 billion.... You joined at the same time as me. Baka onna!

And if you're taking this seriously... *snicker*

ic:

"Where is the blood shed? And do not give me any shit about a stalemate!" Theklia screamed at her Generals. "I want results! And you overpriced bureaucrats aren't giving me results! I want results within twenty-four hours or you're all fired!"

She had no qualms with firing staffers. She had already fired her top UN Representative Affairs Advisor.

"I want the whole lot of those thumb-sucking religious wankin' right-wing nutjobs sent home cryin' to their Mamas! NO MORE EXCUSES!!"

"Uh...Prime Minister? We can't just do that... It would mean an all out regional war. Roycelandia is much bigger than us and if they don't like the way this goes, they might turn on us. Plus, Farflorin and Kutou-koku would use it as a chance to get back at us."

She glared at the General who dared to speak. "INSOLENCE! I will not have any of it! You're fired! The rest of you riff-raff and rank and file...BLOW THOSE ASSHOLES OUT OF THE SKY OR YOU'RE ALL FIRED!!"

"You can't fire us all..." someone muttered.

"Just watch me! You're fired!"

The rest of the Generals knew that they had gone too far.

They had underestimated the former Minister of Foreign Affairs.

"You know that valium you gave me at the NATO conference in Seaburg, you might want to consider taking some." quipped her Minister of Foreign Affairs, Fachtna Larizen.

She glared at him. "Don't you have diplomatic BS to take care of?"

"No... But, I do have to watch you fall flat on your face. You really don't know how to wage war...tsk..." he smirked. "You might want to try that red button..."

She considered this for a minute then reached over and pressed said red button...

Sirens sounded and confetti dropped from the roof. "Victory! Victory!" sang the voice.

"Wrong red button..."

"Oh shut up!"

----

*Voice 1* Now what?
*Voice 2* I don't know... They are just sitting there...
*Voice 1* wanna fire on them?
*Voice 2* but we didn't get orders...
*Voice 1* screw orders, this is war!
*Voice 2* isn't that your cousin in that mosbile suit over there?
*Voice 1* BAH! I've always hated the bastard!
*Voice 2*...

Securing himself in the cockpit, pilot one made a beeline for the otherside of the border, an drawing his Beam Canon fired on the other MS.... He missed, but did a good job of razing part of the nearby forest.

OOC: oh yeah... hehehehehe....*evil insane laughter ensues* Now kiddies...don't try this at home!!! :D


IC:

On the Brycovia/Kryozerkia border...


The cousin of the other "enemy" pilot yelped, falling back in his MS when the laser beam came shooting to him. He gave a sigh of relief when it missed him by a good mile. "Must be Mikhail...he can't shoot worth a damn."

Shaking his head, he turned his scanners to watch the destruction of the nearby forest. He gave a girlish scream, his MS running back towards its comrades in fear.

It had begun.

If any lived in Brycovia, they knew of the overwhelming population of the Phoenix. The ancient bird had been left to grow. The overpopulation of the country's sacred animal had come into Parliament several times, but was always shot down. Being a religious country, the idea of extermination something, especially the National Bird, was unheard of and considered of the Devil.

But that decision had cost the country dearly. The Phoenix population had all but over run the lush forests of the nation. Consequently, they had become quite territorial, and anything that even tried to pick a berry off their land was met with a group of raging Phoenixes.

Unfortunately for both sides of the war, the Firebirds did not take kindly to having their forest razed. It was a shot made completely by accident, but the birds didn't care about that.

A swarm of the firebirds lifted up from the remains of the forest. They were newly grown, since all know that when a phoenix dies, it is reborn from the ashes. Not only that, but there were new ones, so the rising swarm easily filled the entire sky. A great, horid, cry came the swarm and all that heard it trembled in fear. The sky was filled with fire from horizon to horizon, sending chills of terror throughout the countryside on both sides.


In the contingent of Brycovian MS units...

[Voice 1] *voice trembles* Sergeant? I'm scared...
[Voice 2] I'm with you corporal...all units, prepare for attack!

*Armors arrange themselves and then...*

[Voice 3] Uh...why are we getting ready anyway? They're our birds! They won't come after....AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

*a fireball exploads where the MS unit of voice 3 had been*

[Voice 2] *sighs* Remember who we got these armors from, men. The Ancient Ones will not distinguish between us and them! Attack!
[Voice 1] Uhm...sir? Isn't attacking the National Bird against the law?
[Voice 2] Awwww shit...

The Kryozerkian units in the area were caught off guard by the birds.

Immediately, a large section pulled back - meaning those who were graced with the gift of common sense. The morons in the group foolishly flew into teh frey while the smart ones observed the massacre.

*Capitain's Voice* All Blitz units hold fire!
*voice 1* why sir?
*Captain's voice* it seems that we could slip by some of the forces into Brycovinian terrirtory while they deal with those...those...things...
*Voice 1* ...aw shit, I gotta get past that asshole? Damnit!

All Kryozerkian units had a brief flash light up their screen.

*Voice 2* eeehhh?? How the hell are we victorious if we're about to fight some mega-size bad-ass bird?
*Voice 3* don't ask me... -sniffle- I want my mommy!
*Voice 1* we can...just...you know, stay here until those birds...go...away... damn birds! I can't take it ay more! I gotta kill me one of those buggers!

*Voice 5* HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLPPP!!! THE BIRD IS TRYIN' TO KILL MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! WAAAHHH!

At that point, the suit that that pilot was flying came into the line of view of the bird, and hence, suffered the fate of being crispy fried.

The firebirds didn't seem inclined to just attack the Brycovian army, however. Since the MS units on both sides were identical, with the exception of different insignia, they felt both sides were justified in the horrible attack on their land. They swarmed over both armies, keeping them gridlocked. They would purge the infidels or die trying...and then they'd come back with more when they did die!

Within the army of brave Brycovian troops...

[Voice 1] We're gonna DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
[Voice 2] *groan* Corporal, shut up before I kill you myself!
[Voice 1] But sergeant! They're everywhere! *sniffle* I didn't get to say good bye to Pokey...
[Voice 3] One, two pearl three. Don't worry, corporal! When we die, we'll all be carried to the warm embrace of Heaven! Cross stitch, pearl four...

There was a lot of sobbing and born-again Catholics suddenly amongst the rank and file of the Kryozerkian pilots. They had been baptised at birth but never actively believed until religion and God until now...

*Voice 1* Dear God... If you let me survive this, I promise I will be a better Catholic when I get home..

*Voice 2* I'm going to die...I'm going to die... This bird is going to kill me... (and at that point, he broke down into hysterical sobs)

*Voice 6* God...I'm not a bad guy! Please don't send me to hell! I'm sorry for everything I even did! Just don't send me to heelllllllllllllllllllllllllll.....

The pilot let out an anguished scream as a fireball from a nearby phoenix ended his life very painfully.

This did nothing to help the morale of pilot 3, or subdue his fear of death.

*Voice 3* I want my mommy! I want my mommy...this bird is big and scary! WAH!

*voice 4* Oh God, oh God.... I'm going to die! PLease...God, I'm too young!

*voice 7* I surrender, oh God, I surrender! It's either me or it! If you loved me... I promise to be a better Catholic!

*Captain's Voice* Don't lose it now. It;s just a stupid PMS-y bird that lost its temper. Just raze the forest and it'll know who's boss.

*Voice 8* that ain't no normal bird! It's a bloody phoenix!

*Captain's voice* oh well..damnit!

Out of desperation, the Brycovian commander signaled the Kryozerkian commander.

[Voice 1] Kryozerkia Commander? This is your Brycovian counterpart...uhm...help?

[Voice 2] That's it? Help? HELP?!

[Voice 1] Sergeant, calm down!

[Voice 2] CALM DOWN?! I GOT A BLOODY FIREBIRD ON MY TAIL AND YOU WANT ME TO CALM DOWN?!!!!

The captain of the first string arched an eyebrow. Weren't they at war with each other? Then again, it seemed that they were fighting these stupid birds more than they were fighting each other...

*Capitain's voice* why do you need help?

*voice 1* hahaha... They can't handle a little birdie problem.
*voice 2* hey, retard! You were whining earlier about how it's the bird from hell!
*Voice 1* not any more!
*voice 2*...

The Brycovian commander just stared at his comm, incredulous. Was his counterpart THAT much of a moron?!

[Commander's voice] Are you REALLY that stupid? They're after you too, you imbecile!

[Voice 1] They really are idiots. We could have had a nice little war, but nooooooooooooo...they had to screw it up and bring the birds!
[Voice 2] Why don't we just surrender? Maybe if we do, then the birds will go away! Yeah! EVERYONE SURRENDER TO THE MIGHT OF THE PHOENIX!!!
[Voice 3] ...........

The Kryozerkian captain glared at the screen. "I am NOT an imbecile!" He then smirked. "They aren't after all of us. Just the units stupid enough to think they can take on the stupid birds. Besides, it your fault for allowing the bird to exist."

*Voice 1* oh joy... not only have we pissed off the entire nation of Brycovia and the birds, but we have the King of the Morons for a captain...
*voice 2* maybe if you ignore him, he'll go away.
*voice 3* screw this! I'm razing the area!
*voice 1* NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! It'll really piss of the birds!

Of course, pilot 3 took orders from no one and proceeded to raze the remainder of the birds' home to smouldering ashes.

The Brycovian commander arched an eyebrow upwards. "You really are a moron aren't you? It was your idiot men that burned the forest that brought them in the first place, idiot!"

[Voice 1] Awww man...here we go again... *watches the rest of the nearby forest be destroyed*
[Voice 2] Yep...they be morons, ever last one of 'em. They're our allies why?
[Voice 3] They're not this time around, idiot. They're the enemy!
[Voice 2] ........ oh right.


It was probably one of the biggest mistakes of the Kryozerkian Army to raze the rest of the forest. Not only did the current swarm of phoenix's go into an absolute rage, but the ashes of the forest produced thousands upon thousands of the firebirds. Each one held anger in their crimson eyes, and those eyes were centered upon the MS's before them. They all looked the same and all would perish under their anger.

*Captain's Voice* screw waiting for a court martial!

He turned to pilot 3 and blew him out of the sky.

The rest of the division looked horrified.

*Captain's Voice* let that be a lesson to the rest of you! Now slaughter those damn birds! Try and take some Brycovian asshoels down as you go.

The first pilot snickered.

*Voice 1* so, I wonder how much help they'll need now?
*Voice 2* about as much as we'll need... because they will get us as well!
*Voice 1* Not if I turn on my InvisiShield system!
*voice 3* That piece of crap never did any good!

*Sergeant's Voice* Formation people! And for the love of Satan, don't fight fire with fire! These are phoenixes and will rise from the ashes of fire! Use the water-beam cannon.

*Captain's voice* hey, dork! We don't have Pisces or Cancer MS-AUs with us!

*Sergeant's Voice* No, the configurations panel has an option to set the fire charge to whatever you want.

*Voice 1* ...doesn't this thing come with a manual?
*voice 2* apparently not

*voice 4* I don't care! If these birds are going to kill me, I'll bring as many of these buggers down with me as a I can...and birds too...

Pilot 4, also the same one who razed the forest, charged head first into the frey. He made the mistake of accidently turning on the X-System.

*Voice 4* WAIT!! There is a very easy to solve thos problem!

Flying over to the nearby river, he opened up the secondary hatch and filled it with water. "Lets see the birds stop me now!"

Dosing the area in water, he made the second mistake of doing something intelligent and possibly stopping the ramapging birds.

The Brycovian commander gave a terrified sqwalk. "No you morons, no! NOT WATER!!!"

The Brycovian troops, enmasse, screamed like little girls. Everyone, at least everyone in Brycovia, knew that to put water on a Phoenix was asking for certain disaster.

And disaster struck.

The water landed on every single Phoenix in the air, morphing them. Normal Phoenix's would have spurted out and died, but not these. The Phoenix of Brycovia was a mutation, caused by the overzealous colonists of Niflheim Ragnarok. Their premiere, Loki Laufeyerson, excelled at Chaos.

And Chaos reigned. The birds morphed and changed. The grew smaller and smaller, almost to the size that one could fit in the palm of your hand. But there literally thousands of them and they all landed on the various mecha, keeping them from so much as moving an inch. They chirped cutely, batting their cute little crimson eyes at the ones they sat on.

The attack of the Cute Chibi Phoenix's had begun.

The three strings of the MS-Blitz division, didn't know how to react. The birds were no longer trying to kill them. They didn't see the problem.

*Voice 2* Aw! It's so cute! I've got to get one for me wife!

Taking out a cage, he reached out and took one of the birds and safely putting it in the cage, sighed happily. "The Missus will be happy."

*voice 1* ...this thing is looking at me! Captain, the bird's staring at me!

*Voice 4* how can something so cute be so dangerous?

*Captain's voice* you morons! Get out of your cockpits and fight the old fashioned way!

*Voice 6* you mean with Plasma-ray guns?

The birds began to chirp and the racket became deafening. They then began to peck at the cockpits, cracking the glass. They soon swarmed into the cockpits of the pilots and made themselves comfortable, whether on heads, shoulders, laps or consoles. Soon, all the soldiers were covered in birds.

The Brycovian commander gave a whimper. "I told you we're doomed! Death by Cuteness!!"

The Kryozerkian strings were whimpering as the birds started to smother them to death.

*Captain's voice* this is all pilot 3's fault!

*Voice 2* ...I just wanted to bring one home for me wife...
*Voice 1* Why did they have to become so cute?

*Sergeant's voice* don't we have any Leopard Geckos with us?

*Captain's Voice* [sarcastic]Oh, I never leave my house with my pet gecko!
*Voice 6* oh, you're joking... I mean, I never leave home without MY gecko!

Pilot six reached under his cockpit seat and held up a small glass cage.

NOw, mind you, due to some pollutants in the Kryozerkian environment, the geckos were no ordinary geckos. They had mutated over the years.

*Voice 6* the only counter to the attack of Death by Cuteness is Counterattack by Ugliness! Anyone got a cup of acid?

*Captain's voice* oh, right...like I would have a cup of acid. This ain't school! Bring your own!

*Voice 2* I have some acid!

Pilot 2 gave pilot 6 a cup of acid.

Holding his pet gecko by the tail, pilot 6 dipped it into the cup of acid. After pulling out the squirming animal, he flung out into the frey.

The gecko landed and sniffed. It sniffed a bird then ate it. Spitting out the feathers, it looked for another. The feathers then reassembled themselves into whole other creature - the feathered gecko with wings.

The birds sqwalked enmasse and then took flight, flying back into the nearby lush forests of Brycovia. Nothing terrified a newborn Phoenix more than a Feathered Gecko with Wings.

[Brycovian Commander] Oi...okay I guess that solves that. Guess it's to war as usual boys.

[Brycovian Army] YAYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!


A shuttle appeared above the newly cleared battlefield. A booming voice sounded from the intercom. "What is the meaning of this?"

[Brycovian Commander] ACK!! It's the Cardinal!!!