Jamaica Reborn
23-11-2004, 01:35
Party in the suburbs of Birmingham, AL
A large group of white teens socialize and move in and out of a house in a predmoninately white suburb outside of Birmingham. Huge speakers within the house are blasting the song of a local white rapper called "Whitehead", the song is entitled "I Be Gangzta!!!1". The white teens are dressed in oversized clothes, most of them wear size 44 pants on their 30 inch waists. All seems to be going pretty well at the party as the kids whine to one another about their nonexistent problems, but that all changes when a black escalade pulls up on the lawn and a group of white males exit the vehicle, each of them dipping their bodies insanely to the left side, trying to master what they call "a gangzta walk".
The leader of the group screws his face up into a distorted scowl and yells, "Let me get a wordizzle in wit B-dizzle, i got a beefizzle on da rizzle wit hiiiiiiim!", the music stops and the crowd goes quiet as the one called "B-Dizzle", parts himself through the crowd and walks directly into the face of the leader of the group.
"What it izzle my wizzle?", says B-Dizzle
The leader of the group pulls a 38 out of his coat pocket and yells, "Break yoself fooooooool!", before firing off 3 bullets into B-Dizzle's stomach.
B-Dizzle curls into a fetal position and bleeds rapidly out of his mouth and abdomen as the leader and his posse flee in the black escalade. B-Dizzle's "main bitch", kneels by his side and hysterically screams, "Like, oh my gosh!!! Someone call for like, help or something, like he's gonna die!!! I mean like, whos gonna take me to prom, like oh my gosh, he's bleeding on my American Eagle shoes!"
The leader and posse make a quick U-turn and ride back past the house yelling out the windows, "WI 99ers for Lizzife BIAAAATCH!"
B-Dizzle marked the 21st person to die in gang related incidents in Jamaican Alabama in this month alone.
Channel 19 Jamaican News:
"Well it seems as if gang violence in the Jamaican territory of Alabama is on a steady rise as the death of an Alabamian teen known as Brandon Johnson was violently shot down yesterday night, in the latest of gang shootings. The main brunt of the violence appears to revolve around to large rival gangs, the West Idle 99ers, or the WI 99ers for short, and the Cool Renegade Angry Crazy Killer Egotistical Rambos, or better known as the C.R.A.C.K.E.R.s. The police chief of Birmingham, where most of the violence is occuring, had this to say:
The camera switches to an overweight bald man in a suit.
"Well, we're handling the situation as best we can. It's really blown out of control in the past few months, and to be honest I really don't understand what the hell has gotten into these little bastards. We think it's got a lot to do with a heavy distribution of Crystal Meth in the area where the most crime is happening. These kids who are dying out here, are rich, easily influenced, bored, white kids. They've tricked themselves into thinking that they're in some kind of fantasy world, where they have to deal drugs to make money and "bang out" on their "enemies" to survive, much their distorted mentality is due to the horrible music they listen to, which is made and produced by kids like them. What it really is, is an exaggerated form of rap, where the word "fuck" can be said 80 times, and then be called a decent verse. This is what happens when the parents don't take enough responsibility in raising and caring for their children."
The camera switches back to the Anchorman
"We'll have more news within the hour, including an interview with one of the WI 99er gang bangers."
A large group of white teens socialize and move in and out of a house in a predmoninately white suburb outside of Birmingham. Huge speakers within the house are blasting the song of a local white rapper called "Whitehead", the song is entitled "I Be Gangzta!!!1". The white teens are dressed in oversized clothes, most of them wear size 44 pants on their 30 inch waists. All seems to be going pretty well at the party as the kids whine to one another about their nonexistent problems, but that all changes when a black escalade pulls up on the lawn and a group of white males exit the vehicle, each of them dipping their bodies insanely to the left side, trying to master what they call "a gangzta walk".
The leader of the group screws his face up into a distorted scowl and yells, "Let me get a wordizzle in wit B-dizzle, i got a beefizzle on da rizzle wit hiiiiiiim!", the music stops and the crowd goes quiet as the one called "B-Dizzle", parts himself through the crowd and walks directly into the face of the leader of the group.
"What it izzle my wizzle?", says B-Dizzle
The leader of the group pulls a 38 out of his coat pocket and yells, "Break yoself fooooooool!", before firing off 3 bullets into B-Dizzle's stomach.
B-Dizzle curls into a fetal position and bleeds rapidly out of his mouth and abdomen as the leader and his posse flee in the black escalade. B-Dizzle's "main bitch", kneels by his side and hysterically screams, "Like, oh my gosh!!! Someone call for like, help or something, like he's gonna die!!! I mean like, whos gonna take me to prom, like oh my gosh, he's bleeding on my American Eagle shoes!"
The leader and posse make a quick U-turn and ride back past the house yelling out the windows, "WI 99ers for Lizzife BIAAAATCH!"
B-Dizzle marked the 21st person to die in gang related incidents in Jamaican Alabama in this month alone.
Channel 19 Jamaican News:
"Well it seems as if gang violence in the Jamaican territory of Alabama is on a steady rise as the death of an Alabamian teen known as Brandon Johnson was violently shot down yesterday night, in the latest of gang shootings. The main brunt of the violence appears to revolve around to large rival gangs, the West Idle 99ers, or the WI 99ers for short, and the Cool Renegade Angry Crazy Killer Egotistical Rambos, or better known as the C.R.A.C.K.E.R.s. The police chief of Birmingham, where most of the violence is occuring, had this to say:
The camera switches to an overweight bald man in a suit.
"Well, we're handling the situation as best we can. It's really blown out of control in the past few months, and to be honest I really don't understand what the hell has gotten into these little bastards. We think it's got a lot to do with a heavy distribution of Crystal Meth in the area where the most crime is happening. These kids who are dying out here, are rich, easily influenced, bored, white kids. They've tricked themselves into thinking that they're in some kind of fantasy world, where they have to deal drugs to make money and "bang out" on their "enemies" to survive, much their distorted mentality is due to the horrible music they listen to, which is made and produced by kids like them. What it really is, is an exaggerated form of rap, where the word "fuck" can be said 80 times, and then be called a decent verse. This is what happens when the parents don't take enough responsibility in raising and caring for their children."
The camera switches back to the Anchorman
"We'll have more news within the hour, including an interview with one of the WI 99er gang bangers."